PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - June 2018

mtpbadger · June 2018

@aera11 I was reading something today about nipple shields and one reason that babies do better with the shields than with just the regular nipple is that the shield activates their “suck reflex” as it touches further back/top of their mouth and that most babies seem to get it eventually. Keep trying without it every now and then or even take it away in the middle to see if she’ll take your boob without it every few feeds or so. There are days when Abigail doesn’t want anything to do with the boob, even with the shield but today she took more feedings from me than from the bottle which I was so happy about! I know tomorrow we might be back tomorrow to square one but she seems to be getting it. I have to keep reminding myself that she shouldn’t even be here for another week and a half!

MMD1986 · June 2018

Man I had a big bummer today. I went to make Brooks's bottles, I poured the 16 oz I had pumped today into my mixing bottle, went to grab the Neosure supplement, came back to a huge mosquito in the milk. It was so hard to pour a whole days worth of pumping down the drain.

mtpbadger · June 2018

@mmd1986 oh no! I probably would have cried, that’s awful!

Our fridge has started to be on the fritz and a new one isn’t coming till Thursday. I told DH is anything happens to the freezer and all the frozen milk I will legit sob. We have our 92 year old neighbor on standby in case we need to use his freezer.

mbradfo2 · June 2018

Kiddos ARE tricksy. It is currently 3 AM and she has been up and alert since 9 pm when she woke from her shopping/car seat induced nap. She's had food, songs, rocker, bouncer...she just wants to be awake. /sigh I guess it's a good thing I work from home. At least she's not fussy. She's just awake and kicking the mattress of her crib atm and looking at her mobile.

JWatt5 · June 2018

Parker is 10 months now, we’re in Leap 7. He sobs if we put him in his crib at night. So bad on Sunday night I thought maybe he was in pain. We’ve tried DH putting him down which sometimes works better but nope. The second you lay down with him in our room:bed, he goes right to sleep. They said the separation anxiety can start from 8-10 months, I think with the leap it’s hitting us. So DH is in the spare room and Parker and I are co sleeping. Last night was better - the previous nights he had to be touching me to sleep. Which made me not sleep. I know this is likely a phase but when you are in them you think “is this going to end” or “Am I ruining his sleep in his crib by letting him sleep with me”. But I’m not a CIO mom...hopefully it slows by the end of the leap (another week or so). It always does.

mbradfo2 · June 2018

@JWatt5
Isn't it amazing how accurate that book/app is? We're right at the beginning of Leap 2 (8 weeks adjusted) and I definitely am able to match up things the book says to look for with her behaviors. I also like that it gives me ideas of games to play that will be stimulating and fun for her. Now we just need to get over the fussy part!

And I really don't think you can spoil a baby -- not yet at least. I think it's more harmful to their development to ignore their cries if they are really in distress -- and for him, his distress is real even though we think it's irrational or imagined. I'm not a CIO mom though, despite how much I would like to just throw in the towel sometimes when she's being really fussy and clingy and I just want to relax for a bit. It breaks my heart to think that she might be upset and scared and is learning that I would ignore her in her distress...

omarismyhomeboy · June 2018

@JWatt5 Sorry to hear! I think June was going through something similar last week...my super happy baby was SO upset every time I left the room for 10 seconds. She is also having a lot of stranger anxiety these days, which is tough when there is a sub at school (one of her teachers is on vacation). Hope it passes soon for us both.

Let's talk 1st birthday parties! For those with older babies, what did yall do? For those who are just ahead of us, what are you planning? June will be 1 on September 5th so we are looking at the 8th. I am wanting to have a small party for her but I'm wondering the best time to do so. I know it shouldn't be more than 2 hours, but what block of time should we target, since kids are all on different nap schedules? We just went to a part last weekend that started at 11 AM, and a few weeks ago, we went to one that started at 4 PM.

coco305 · June 2018

Hi mommies,
im officially joining you guys, my LO was born June 23rd via c section at 37 weeks.
All is well, he's in the NICU for now, getting healthy, as his lung had some fluids in them at birth & now he's under the bili lights. I get discharged today, he will hopefully be discharged tomorrow or Thursday. He is a precious precious boy and my heart aches when I'm not next to him. Otherwise i am over the moon happy! Hope to get to know you guys better in this new wonderful, crazy stage.

byrneme · June 2018

Welcome @coco305 - hope you get to take your little man home soon!!!

I just pulled up the WW app and see we are approaching Leap 8, argh. Zoey currently has an ear infection so I'm hoping she gets over it quickly so we can enjoy that sunny disposition lol. We are definitely entering a stranger (or anyone other than mommy/daddy) phase. She CLINGS to us when handing her to someone who wants to hold her. This lasts a few minutes and then it's like she forgets and wants to go to them. She's also just hard to hold in general. She's been crawling for two months now, and recently started to cruise, but it seems she's just 'realized' she's mobile. She wants to go EVERYWHERE.

We are doing our party at 4 p.m.! Her nap times can be unpredictable but she's always up,alert and smiley at this time of day. Plus, we can have the party and celebrate her while continuing on for the adults after bedtime

MMD1986 · June 2018

Welcome @coco305! The NICU is hard, just keep reminding yourself it's for the best. Take advantage of the nurses knowledge. They taught us all kinds of stuff while my son was in the NICU.

@byrneme I like the idea of a late party so you can continue on for adults. We are just at 4 months so have a long ways to go, but I already started thinking about that. Didn't know who I'd invite other than family that would want to go to a 1st birthday party, but maybe I can bribe them with after party drinks! I think when the time comes I'll do a Dr. Seuss party. I saw an idea where you buy the book Happy Birthday to You and have everyone sign it with a message. I thought that was cute.

mbradfo2 · June 2018

@byrneme
Yeah, I think your line of thinking is on track. A party is really overwhelming for a baby so I think a little show at a time she's usually active, cake smash and then bed/nap/rest will probably work best. And then you can have a grownups dessert or dinner, whatever. I like the book idea too. At my baby shower, everyone colored pictures of animals with the alphabet that were put into a book for Anne. A really nice memento, I think.

I need to plan her baptism/dedication before I even think about a party. Sigh. I'm not really a good party planner.
I'll need to step it up for her birthdays!

I also realized I need to learn to do some basic sewing so I can put together halloween costumes for her. I failed hand sewing in school >.> My husband says he knows how to sew so maybe I'll design them and put him to work! haha

mbradfo2 · June 2018

@coco305 Also congrats!!! I know how you feel at least a little bit...I was on magnesium drip for pre-eclampsia when I delivered and I wasn't allowed to have the baby if there wasn't another person with me so I had to hand her over to the nurses when my husband went home to set up some baby things and feed the dogs/cat. It hurt so much to see the nurse carrying her out of my room. I tried to sleep through most of it, but I did probably make myself a nuisance by calling the nurse every so often to see how she was doing.

That feeling surges back when I leave her with my parents to go do "fun things" like watch movies. Movies seem soooo long now and I just want to get back and be with her.

MMD1986 · June 2018

@mbradfo2 My husband and I laughed because the few times we've gotten my MIL to watch Brooks so we can go out all we did was talk about him.

mtpbadger · June 2018

@coco305 welcome! It is so hard to see your baby in the nicu, especially having to leave the hospital while they are still there. There is no better place for him right now though and the nurses in my nicu were fabulous and great wealth of knowledge. Take the next few days to sleep as much as you can and recover from delivery so you can spend as much time as you want just holding and staring at your little one.

Polythene Pam · June 2018

For birthday parties, we’ve always done afternoon - honestly even if my kids are still napping, no one cares! If it’s a lot of kids, we’ve done morning (10), have lunch and everyone’s home for nap. We’re doing my daughters first friend birthday (she’ll turn 5, sob!!) and with it being all little friends and their siblings, we are doing 10-12:30, everyone will be home by nap. Her family party and Graham’s party this fall we’ll do the party at 2, graham will be napping but no one else naps so more fun time for the adults

we’ll just keep the party going after bedtime.

Graham is almost 8 months and still nurses at night. Anyone else?? He’ll wake 1-2x and do a lazy nursing not super hungry session, and wakes at 5, I can only get him to catnap if he’s sleeping on me. If I do let him cry, big sis wakes, it’s a mess. I don’t mind one feeding but the 2x, plus a 5am wake up, for the past 8 months... I’m cranky lately lol. He’s up to 3 meals a day, is a tank... ugh hopefully sleep comes soon

my inlaws are watching the kids for a wedding, I’ll be curious how that goes... I think he wakes up wanting the boob so I’ll see how they do.

mbradfo2 · June 2018

@PolythenePam
I can't imagine 8 months as we're going now o.o I'm getting so tired I am just sorta zombie most of the morning until I've gotten a touch of rest. Almost poured formula into my cereal the other day. My problem is that even when she sleeps thru the night, I don't because I've conditioned myself to be awake from 2 am til morning since she's so fussy when she doesn't sleep well and I try to keep her quiet so my husband can get some rest...

persnickity · June 2018

@Polythene Pam 10 months here and Mackenzie wakes up once a night to nurse, unless we're dealing with a leap, teething, or being sick... In those cases, we're up every 2-3 hours nursing. But she's also gone down to two bottles at daycare for a total of 3-10oz depending on the day. So with her taking very little and mostly nursing, I'm not trying to do anything about it. I want her to get the breastmilk somehow.

Polythene Pam · June 2018

@persnickity yea if he wasn’t eating during the day I’d do the same, he eats ALL day, it’s definitely comfort nursing. I’m trying to soak in the snuggles... but really I’m also not my best self and am cranky, ha. The 1 feeding I feel like a million bucks, the 2-3 with the 5am wake up my husband is scared of me in the morning

if these babies werent so dang cute, ha

persnickity · June 2018

@Polythene Pam Totally with you there! One wake up seems easy now. The worst is when the wake up occurs an hour before my alarm goes off. Kills me! Some days DH will bring me an extra cup of coffee before I get in the shower to try and keep me from killing everyone.

Holls214 · June 2018

I only hope it gets better than now... eat at 9pm, 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am etc. sometimes I look at my husband sleeping and want to smother him lol. He tries to do the 5am before work which helps.

Aera11 · June 2018

@mtpbadger yeah that makes total sense about the sucking reflex. My pediatrician also said the same thing about removing the shield when I felt like she had a good sucking rhythm. I found a lactation consultant that will come to my house, I am just wondering if it's worth spending some money to have that vs. going into the hospital.

Congrats & welcome @coco305! I was also on the magnesium & it was the worst. Hopefully his nicu stay is short!

@PolythenePam I tell her at 4am that she is lucky she is cute because that feeding always feels like a zombie one where I am half awake.

@Holls214 haha I am with you, my husband doesn't even hear her cry if he's asleep & sometimes I want to just wake him up so he knows what it's like. He does help out on the weekends which has been great & his new job is giving him 3 weeks of paternity leave, so it'll be a nice break for me when he can be around a little more.

mtpbadger · June 2018

@aera11 I actually breastfed with the shield out in public today. Made the mistake of only bringing one bottle when car shopping and it took much longer than expected and she was hungry again. It was awkward as anything especially since I had never practiced with a cover or anything and it took her awhile to focus but we had success!! I actually didn’t really care if I accidentally flashed anyone...if they had an issue that was their problem.

cashewchicken · June 2018

Welcome @Aera11 and @coco305!

@Holls214 It does get better. My son used to feed every 2-3 hours until recently (just last week) and this week, he started to sleep 4-5 hour stretch at night. Unbelievable. There’s a good chance he’ll go back to the short feeding cycle but for now I’m really enjoying the uninterrupted sleep.

And to all the ladies with husbands that sleep through the baby crying: I’m sorry. Let me apologize on their behalf as I’m the same way! I have no maternal instincts or something because I can sleep through my baby wailing. Good thing my husband is a light sleeper and he jumps out of bed every time our baby yells out.

Polythene Pam · June 2018

@Holls214 it does get better! We did a bit of sleep training (4 month regression Graham was up literally every 45 min. Just no.) I think since my daughter was a unicorn (slept 12 hrs straight by 12 weeks) I’m a bit more cranky at 8 months of still not sleeping

but he’s the happiest dude so I’ll keep him

And the 1x feeding nights make me think we’re almost there

THE HUSBANDS! Ugh! My husband was going to take “the next feeding.” Graham starts wailing, I wait. Finally smack hubby. He sits up groggily. “You want me to get a bottle?” Umm do your boobs feed the baby? Yea a bottle might help. And at this point you’re useless as you either need a room temp bottle ready, which you didn’t prep, or you need to heat a bottle.. either will take 5+ min which means big sis will be woken and screaming or decide she’s up for the day as it’s 3am and she has done that.

Needless to say I fed Graham and now just glare at my husband at night

I slept on the couch or spare bedroom with Graham for the first 3 months, I told my hubby it was so i could get a grasp on nursing. It’s so I didn’t harm my husband in the middle of the night

Holls214 · June 2018

I’m literally counting down the days or weeks until 4 hours of straight sleep haha. My husband also helps on the weekends which is great but you still wake up when the baby cries.
It’s especially rough because it takes 30 minutes or an hour to fall asleep or go back to sleep.
Haha I slept on the couch one night so I didn’t harm my hubs that night either.

question- anyone else use a belly band corset thing for helping your stomach shrink? I got one in the mail today and hoping it helps. Fingers crossed!

Aera11 · June 2018

@mtpbadger I'm so glad you had success your first time in public, woohoo! I have a nursing cover too & haven't even tried it on yet but I probably should. And I wouldn't care if I flashed anyone either, people can get over it. It's not like you're wearing a shirt with boob holes cut out haha, you're trying to feed your baby! Speaking of car shopping, did you find something? We think we'll turn in our lease early (January) if we find something bigger that we like.

@holls214 mine isn't the corset style but it covers my entire stomach & Velcros pretty tight. I like that there's flexibility in it so I can sit comfortably. I struggle with really wanting my body back (like pre-IVF body) and being like 'eff this, I know we'll go through all this IVF again'. I agree though, I loved & miss my pregnant body.

mtpbadger · June 2018

@aera11 we ended up getting a Honda CR-V. I had a Mazda 3 and it was a little tight with the car seat - as in the passenger seat had to be all the way up so no one else could really ride shot gun. I’m excited for it! I don’t have a nursing cover, I just used a Muslin blanket. I had held off in buying an actual nursing cover bc I didn’t know if she would actually nurse or not. I might go to target and pick one up now!

@cashewchicken half the time I don’t hear Abigail fussing/crying at night either. It seems that when I sleep through it DH hears it and vice versa which is good! So far I’m handling limited sleep pretty well, which I’m surprised by since I had always needed 8 hours to function. DH is not handling it well and he always was a 4 hours of sleep and he’s fine kind of guy. He’s been struggling lately.

mbradfo2 · June 2018

Holls214 said:

I only hope it gets better than now... eat at 9pm, 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am etc. sometimes I look at my husband sleeping and want to smother him lol. He tries to do the 5am before work which helps.

I feel the same way lol

and then husband will whine that he's tired
Tired?! You slept 6 hours!

I've started to transition into doing a bit of work (from home), mostly stuff I can do at any hour of the day. It's so odd to be doing some work again! I sometimes feel like just resigning...she's just so important to me right now and I want to give her all of my attention. I waited freakin' long enough for her to get here! But I think I can swing a couple of hours here and there while she's sleeping.

So funny thing, I had her in her bouncer watching me cook dinner (she loves watching people doing stuff!) and I saw her paci fall out of her mouth...and then she stuffed it back in. She had it clasped a bit sloppily in her fist, but she did the same thing again later. She couldn't manage it if the paci fell too far away but if it fell near her hand, she was able to get it back to her mouth. I was pretty impressed haha I guess she knows what she wants!

Polythene Pam · June 2018

I love the Milk Snob nursing covers for anyone looking. They’re the ones that fit over the car seat too (shade, warmth in winter, instant cover if baby falls asleep in there). Graham hated being covered but I can make that big enough to cover us but stretch it at my neck to let him see out at me. I could care less if I flash anyone but I do like this option, also folds up great in my purse.

Hopeful_mom · June 2018

Welcome @coco305 hoping ur lil man will be home soon!!

So so I have had this Lil one on my boob from 9-12a on and off. She kept sleeping for 5min so I kept thinking she's done and would sleep for at least an hr. Then the crying just kept on, I'm confused that she's still so famished as there was milk that she was drinking so I did the burping, changing and she was still not a happy camper and niether was I at this point. Back on the boob but she literally would suck for 30 seconds spit it out and then cry. I just had it and gave in to letting my sister give her a bottle of BM. And it's now 2am and she finished the 4oz bottle in 5 min and is finally quite. It takes about 2 pumping session to make the bottle so I'm frustrated that I fed her and still had to give her a bottle!

I haveny spoken to a LC as the day gets away from me and not sure who to call. Have to look bac at what the hospital gave me.

i enjoy bf the baby and she seems fine morning trough the day on my boob but this last night feeding she never seems like she can get satisfied from my boob.

BF really seems like a full time job. By the time she naps for an hr or 2 I'm back to feeding her.

i knew it would be hard but I didn't think it would be this hard. Feeding takes a good hour and change and so does pumping. I'm trying this power pump thing and that's the only way I can make a dent. I thought the supply is suppose to pick up!

@MMD1986 I litetally gasped reading ur post! I hate when the baby just spits up my BM would've cried losing the whole bottle!

mtpbadger · June 2018

This board was active last night!! Guess none of us got much sleep lol.

@hopeful_mom I’m sorry to hear you’re still having issues pumping and BF. You can look up to see if you have a local Le Leche League here https://www.lllusa.org/locator/ and they should be able to assist you. Not sure if it’s your situation or not but I read that breast capacity is different for every woman - those that may have smaller capacity may end up feeding more often. (Breast size does not equate to capacity). What pump are you using? Maybe it might be worth it to rent a hospital grade pump to help build up your supply?

@polythene pam I’ve heard of the milk snob covers but hadn’t really looked into them much. I’ll have to take a look, you’re not the first one to recommend them so they have peeked my interest!

Polythene Pam · June 2018

@Hopeful_mom my son was on me, honestly 20 out of 24 hours, until 7 weeks. I’d fall asleep with him on me, ate with him on me, tried getting my daughter dressed with him on me. I did what you did - gave a bottle (formula for me, I pump jack for some reason) when he was insane at night. Everyone kept saying after 6-8 weeks it gets better.. and it did. Feedings spaced out, I slept a little more. I still give one giant bottle of formula per day and I don’t care, Fed is fed

That being said, sanity is important too! I only attempted nursing my daughter 6 weeks for my sanity. This time around graham is still preferring the boob at 7.5 months. But I literally remember googling “when will nursing get easier” and it did... so there is an end in sight if you keep trying. But if that’s enough, that’s ok too! Either way, even my pediatrician said “give a damn bottle. You need sleep too.” Best advice that I so badly needed

persnickity · June 2018

For anyone looking for a nursing cover, I love my milk boss one. It also can be used to cover the car seat.

DH is a lighter sleeper than me most of the time. I wake up if she really needs something, but not if she's just babbling. But the days when he tries to say he's more tired than me? I want to kill him. He just gets up to change the diaper and goes back to sleep. I have to stay up nursing for another 10-15 minutes. He tried to say he couldn't fall back asleep because I disturbed him coming back to bed...

JWatt5 · June 2018

@mtpbadger - I have a 2017 CRV (got it two weeks before Parker was born) after having the 2014 version. I love the CRV - total family car!

It all gets easier - and when that does they become active and a whole new version of exhausted sets in of them constantly learning, developing, wanting to move, being awake longer. But then that evens out too!! I’ve been working on projects that come up from home over the last 10 months and everytime I say I won’t do another and then I do and it works out.

And now at 10 months kinda back to that with crawling, standing, walking but it’s so fun (and most of the time you get to sleep at night haha). I think by 3-4 months we had settled in to a really nice routine.

Loving the post leap 7 phase - just yesterday 3 new skills showed up. They make decisions now, know what they want. So cute.

First birthday we’re doing just family in a “Primary Colours” theme - just balloons, table cloths and a cake. For his photos we are doing a milk and cookies theme, with a Cake smash and these pants in the photo (master of falling asleep 10 seconds before we arrive somewhere) plus I have a shirt and bib in that print. Excited!!

omarismyhomeboy · June 2018

@JWatt5 those are the world's cutest pants!

And yall, I have a Honda too, only its a Civic. Yeah thats right. I said I would refuse to buy into the notion that you had to drop everything an get an SUV when you got pregnant but now that I ordered her 'big girl car seat' I am having panic that we can actually fit it all in my civic! The truth is that I want a CRV. But I will probably wait until we have some kind of plans to have a second kid. My car is only a 2015 and so far its been OK.

Also, I am 100% weaned from pumping. My boobs shrunk, I had some hormone stuff go on, but I am so happy to not be pumping anymore. Really! It's incredible how much time I have in the mornings and nights when I am not hooked up to a machine. Thank you all for giving me your words of support through the quitting process!

mtpbadger · June 2018

I’m excited about the CRV. My mom has one so I drive it whenever I go home. My Mazda was probably going to need a bunch of work done in the next few years so we had been talking about me getting a new car before we got pregnant anyway.

@jwatt5 the 2017 and 2018 models are exactly the same! They actually wanted to sell us a 2017 model (they need to make room for the 2019s which I guess has a bunch of changes) but there were a lot of scratches on it. No thank you!

MMD1986 · June 2018

I so look forward to the day I'm not tied to a pump anymore. I can't wait to have those two hours a day back. My goal has always been to make it 6 months, so 2 months to go. It's so hard not to just quit some days, but I think I can keep it up.

Yesterday, a coworker walked in on me pumping which was awesome. Luckily I use the Freemie cups and my pump is small and was in my lap, so I don't know if he realized what was going on. I think he just thought it was weird I was sitting in the storage room without the lights on (there is a window) because he looked and me and asked if I was ok, then he walked out when the receptionist yelled oh shit, I forgot she was in there. She normally watches the door for me. Oh well.

cashewchicken · June 2018

@mtpbadger Glad I’m not the only one who sleeps through the baby crying. I feel bad for my husband as he also has to be up for every feeding with me (I’m on my maternity leave still so I don’t have to go to work in the morning). Like you, I used to need a solid 8-hr sleep (uninterrupted) but I’m also handling the lack of sleep pretty well. These days I get around 6 hours of sleep combined. The problem though is that once I’m asleep, I’m gone.

@mbradfo2 wow your daughter can hold the paci and stuff it back in? I think my son is about the same age (3 mo.) as yours but can’t do that still. I made him hold the paci with his hand and he was able to hold it for a while but then he lost it and couldn’t retrieve it. Hoping he will start doing that soon so I don’t have to fetch it every time he needs it.

@Polythene Pam the cover looks nice! I have not yet tried to feed my son in public but it’ll make going out with him easier if I could. I just don’t know how to feed gracefully as my son will whine and wiggle and get milk all over. He has gotten much better during feeding these days but still tricky.

@Hopeful_mom How old is your baby? My son would sleep 1-2 hours tops in between feedings too. In the early weeks they are on 2-3 hour feeding cycle so that is inevitable, I’m afraid. My son’s just started to sleep longer 4-5 hours in one of the night time feeding cycles and he is 12 weeks old. Sounds like you need your sleep though. Maybe for the next week or so you can ask someone to help feed your daughter at night? They can feed her the bottle so that she is quickly fed and put back to sleep. While she is getting fed, you can pump your milk to maintain your supply. If she drinks more than you can produce, supplement with formula. You don’t have to EBF for your baby to get the benefits of breast milk!

JWatt5 · June 2018

@omarismyhomeboy - the freedom of not pumping anymore is amazing isn’t it haha I didn’t think it would make a difference but it sure did feel liberating to go to bed/wake up when I (or Parker) wanted to. We have a Corolla for our second car. I hate riding passenger because the seat is so far forward but we still go places in it. We did get the Clek fllo for DHs car cause it didn’t take up quite as much room at the Foonf. In my SUV he’s centre seated and we don’t have to move either front seat forward at all. Tons of room! But I’ve always had an SUV being in the snow belt, county living and having dogs.

persnickity · June 2018

@MMD1986 I'd have freaked out if someone walked in on me. Impressed that you took it in stride!

@omarismyhomeboy glad you feel good about weaning from pumping! I can't wait to have the time back too. I'm down to 3 sessions at work, so it's not terrible, but it's such an inconvenience to schedule meetings around my pump sessions.

@JWatt5 those pants are adorable! I'm trying to decide if we should do a one year photoshoot or not.

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PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - June 2018

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