PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - June 2018

mtpbadger

@mmd1986 yup mixing the neosure into bottles. Exactly - every time I pump she seems to just know I’m tied to the thing and can’t respond. Or when I’ve just pumped she’s interested in trying to breastfeed. Overall things are going well though! Taking it day by day and glad I’m at least able to pump enough to keep up with her and start a small freezer stash for down the road. 

persnickity

That's awesome you're able to keep up and build a small stash @mtpbadger! It definitely makes it a little easier knowing you have a backup in case you pump just a little less one day. I found how much I pump can vary a lot day by day but it's fairly consistent week by week.

mtpbadger

@persnickity the LC told me to take advantage of pumping in the morning as supply is always the best then, which I’ve totally found true! 

JWatt5

@mtpbadger - Yes - that morning pump! I was an exclusive pumper and almost half my daily ounces came from my morning pump!! Also if you have a hands free bra, the less focused on pumping you are the better the pump. My best pumps were in the car on the way in to town. Haha 

mtpbadger

@jwatt5 love the hands free bra! I couldn’t imagine pumping without it!! 

Had a breakdown last night. DH had to go into work for a few hours in the afternoon which was fine. But then he decided to go to the bar down the street to watch the hockey game (whooo go caps!!) and it ended up being too much, too soon. Add in that I’m pumping and he tells me his father is meeting him at our place and is 5 min away. Wonderful. Called him crying tell him to get home eventually. Little lady was in a mood, wanted to eat every 20 min, had some horrible gas, and then add in pumping and total sleep deprivation and I was totally overwhelmed. DH just didn’t seem to get it either - I called and he was like yeah ok, I’ll head home after this period. That just made it worse. Have newborn photos this morning and I’m scrambling trying to make sure we have everything. Of course we are leaving in 10 min and DH hasn’t even showered yet. Stress level is high over here. 

JWatt5

@mtpbadger - oh man that’s hard. Maybe it’s not registering for him yet since you had your baby but didn’t have her home right away. Either way - we were (and sometimes still are) the same. Lots of emotions and disconnect in those early months. They say the first 3 are the hardest, you also seem to “hate” your spouse somedays but it really does get better. You’ll have those days, just try to breathe and remind yourself it’s ok!! 

persnickity

@mtpbadger hugs. Those first few months are the absolute hardest. You're dealing with hormones, sleep deprivation, him going back to work, then just as you think you figure it out, you go back too. It does get easier!

Part of it is that they just don't understand what you're going through. No matter how empathetic he might be, he's not going to fully get it. DH was really great about establishing early on that he was going to handle every diaper change at night. And that helped me feel like it was more fair, because at least he was getting up too, but there were still those times where he'd stay late or go out after work and not understand why I was upset. It was more about feeling like his life hadn't changed at all and mine had drastically changed. I felt like it was all in my shoulders. After a few major meltdowns, we got in the same page.

mtpbadger

Thanks ladies. I know a lot of it was hormones and just feeling a little jealous. Also, I don’t think he gets just how exhausting pumping (and also trying to figure out breastfeeding) is. He’s been really great about getting all bottles ready and getting up to do diaper changes and bottle feed at night while I pump. I think if he had just done one or the other yesterday, it would have been easier to deal with. I did tell him when he goes back to work, he is not going out at night on weekdays for a while bc I will need a break. 

MMD1986

@persnickity I had the same melt down a few times about feeling like my husband's life didn't change. One day I got so upset that he could just go to the gym after work without really having to think about it. I was jealous and I don't even like going to the gym. Silly hormones.

Hope your photo shoot goes well @mtpbadger!

persnickity

@MMD1986 I'm not a morning person and I'd been getting up earlier in order to get my stuff in the car, Mackenzie's stuff packed for daycare, get me ready, get her nursed and ready, and get out the door on time. He was complaining that he didn't have time to read the newspaper in the mornings because of the time he was choosing to get up. Literally nothing had changed to his morning routine. I lost it. Complete melt down and argument. 

byrneme

@mmd1986 and @persnickity I had that same melt down:) Even though my husband was supportive in so many ways he wasn't tied to a pump or with her 24/7 when I was on maternity leave so I felt like he hadn't been impacted. The hormones just compounded all my feelings!

JWatt5

I remember one morning, during my 5:30am pump I could just hear DH having a shower, eating his bowl of cereal (Yes he chills in the bottom of the tub with the steam going eating his breakfast) and just losing my s%#* over it lol. I was so enraged that he has the nerve to do that while I had been up all night with Parker’s feeds and pumping. I was ok one minute and sooooo mad the next haha. At the time - pissed. Now - we can laugh at it. 
And yes...I plan to have another baby haha 

mbradfo2

@mtpbadger
I think we all have those moments   I got upset with my husband for walking into the nursery while I was feeding her to let me know he was going to take a shower (after he had already been relaxing at his computer after dinner while I was feeding her, changing, washing clothes etc...AFTER a full day of baby duty while he was at work). I'm normally easy going but at that moment, I was all, "So when do I get take a shower, huh?". He was then upset that I didn't just say "watch her for a bit so I can take a break/take a shower/etc". I just have alot of trouble asking for help when I need it! Which then just ends up with burnout....! 

We did, however, survive the first week on our own! The first two days I mainly slept most of the day while she napped -- we're going through a rough patch of nighttime sleeping. Ugh. And then I felt guilty for not cleaning or making dinner/;etc.  I even forgot to feed the dogs dinner one night   Worst dog mom ever. I feel like I'm getting a better handle on things now. We actually did a bunch of stuff -- grocery store, Target, walks around the neighborhood. That stroller pushing is good exercise!!

And yeah, I do think I'm tending to overthink tummy time. I mean, my parents didn't do "tummy time" with me and I can move my head just fine...

My parents keep calling and asking if we want to go out so they can watch her hehe.I'm sure my mom will have her fill once she starts watching her regularly when I go into the office...but maybe grandparents never get their fill XD

Polythene Pam

Oh gosh husbands... ha. Graham still wakes 1-5x at night (ughhhh) at 7 months, and my husband, who no longer even tries to help at night (graham just screams until fed which then wakes big sis), somehow my husband needs naps every weekend. My daughter doesn’t nap or rest so I haven’t taken a nap in ages. But there he is, every weekend passed out at noon. 

I will say having my daughter at an age to tell her what to do is fantastic. He’s taking a glorious shower/bathroom break alone? Send her in. Napping? Tell her to dive bomb fly into him. 

And yep we want a third haha. I actually believe him when he says he doesn’t see what needs to be done. I think they’re idiots but he’s getting better

mtpbadger

Glad I’m not alone with the mini breakdown! DH goes back to work tomorrow but will be leaving everyday at 2pm to get home early, which will be nice. I’m sure this week will be a learning curve but I’ll figure it out and survive! I just need to learn to nap better. Every day I mentally tell myself I’m going to nap for the past week and then I end up doing laundry or organizing or something and before I know it’s 6pm and I’m not going to nap then! 

We started tummy time over the weekend...just 5 min since she’s so tiny and she did okay. She actually loves to be on her stomach (In the nicu they actually put the babies on their stomachs to sleep and that was her happy place) so that’s why I think she enjoys it. 

Hopeful_mom

Hi Everyone!!!

It's finally time to make the jump, I can't believe it, I'm a mom

The moment finally arrived many unexpected hours of labor! My beautiful baby GIRL Shayla Adriana FINALLY arrived on June 1!! I was induced Wednesday night May 30 and had a much longer labor then anticipated or wanted!  I thought I was having a May baby but she obviously wanted June . Definitely the most exciting and scary thing I've ever been through! Such a miracle! We were delayed in the hospital due to her jaundice and my delivery.

Not sure what everyone really wants to know so I'll put my update in the spoiler.....

Spoiler

I was induced and contractions  kicked in 4hrs into it.  Nurses wanted me to wait for the epidural not sure why...some say because it would stop working during deliver...don't know, but wrong decision.  I was in so much pain that trying to sit still when u need to for the epidural becomes much tougher!! So first was done with getting my epidural 7hrs into it and things were much better.  I couldn't believe how much easier drugs made it.  It hurt!  FF to my cervix still being closed and needing more to get dilated.  Finally got some action and move on to pitocine to really get the party started...talk about painful especially as my epidural runs out and there isn't an anesthesiologist to refill me due to an emergency in the OR.  Let's just say 4hrs of excruciating pain continues where I'm yelling to cut the baby out of me....which is horrible but that's the pain I'm in.  I still progressed slow and needed a refresher on the drugs as the pain was returning and if it continued I would have no energy to push.  After all this, baby turns sunnny side up and that means I need a csection.  This is 28hours into labor so dr try's to get her back into position.  Remember they had the emergency in the OR for hrs which my dr was involved in so at this point I'm freaked out about surgery too! So dr magically gets the baby bac into position and I first finishing dilating Friday morning. 
I pushed and pushed and actually ended up with a vaginal deliver! Can't believe I did it especially with my Lil darling being 8lb 4oz what a pkg right . Delivery was not easy and my dr let's just say had to manually remove my placenta which was not cute and probably had him working on me for another 2hrs after I delivered.

it hasn't been smooth sailing, trying to BF and it has its challenges and here the baby is with u 24/7... but when ur baby is jaundice and needs to be in an incubator and it's screaming the whole time, that does not help the healing process.  

My meds running out was a human error which caused me hours of unnecessary torture.  And trust me I felt terrible for whoever had the emergency taking up all the extra ppl BUT then have others on call?? I don't kno

i still am so thankful that I'm the one that finally got this miracle!!

TW Baby in incubator. 

Spoiler

Hopeful_mom

I've been trying hard with breastfeeding but with baby losing a pound bringing her home I had to supplement and feed her around the clock for various reasons per the dr.

how much did everyone make their first week.  They prefer me measuring my breast milk so I've pumped but also did regular in the wee hours of the morning.  I find myself pumping for a good 45 minutes to get 2ozs.  I can't do that 7x a day.  How long does everyone spend pumping. 

Today i did cluster feeding and had her on my boobs from like 4p -11pm I gave in to giving her a bottle she was never full or slept.  I was just feeding and changing diapers.  Anyone else do this? 

First week is no joke, I'm lucky if I get a couple hrs of sleep in and I find I'm an emotional mess as well @holls214 I'll just be talking about how thankful I am for my OB and I'm crying in the next sentence.

i have frequent headaches but I assume it's the lack of sleep!

Lastly my vag just feels like it's on fire all the time.  Any tips on what worked to help soothe it?

@mtpbadger  congrats on baby girl coming home!!

mbradfo2

@Hopeful_mom
Congrats!!!!!!

Cluster feedings are the worst and there's nothing you can do We're using formula and we still do those -- where she would be basically inconsolable unless being fed. Even now that she's over 2 months old (WHERE DID THAT TIME GO?!!), we still go through "mini" cluster feeding times where she wants to eat every hour or two instead of her normal three or four. I wouldn't consider giving her a bottle "giving in" -- you're trying to keep yourself sane too! Healthy, happy mom = healthy, happy baby

Anyway, June birthdays are the best (<--- another June birthday girl). She'll love having a June b-day when she gets older -- close enough to the end of school so that people aren't away on vacation, but still "summer" so you can have pool parties, etc. And celebrating your bday feels like a celebration of upcoming summer days!

Are you using formula made for supplementation or one of the higher calorie ones for preemies? Just curious; we had a box of small bottles of formula for supplementation from similac and the doctor said it had a different formulation than the normal formula we were using so we couldn't use the little bottles in a pinch. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with all the pro-advance formula we have that we are no longer using. I was thinking of dropping it off at her doctors so they can give to someone...

JWatt5

@Hopeful_mom - congrats!!!! 
Are you still just with your doctor or are you seeing a lactation consultant? 45 min pumps, may not be doing much for you - I was always told just 20 mins then move on. Every 3 hours. And that was after feeding the baby. Nothing pulls milk like a baby so that cluster feeding, while exhausting, is the best thing for getting your milk to come in. Nothing wrong with supplementing - we had to for a week or two. Some have to for the long haul - everyone’s different. I looks back and the first time I got 4oz in one day was day 6 for me. Then things got a lot better slowly. If you are supplementing, or have enough breast milk, let DH just do a feed one of the times to let you get 6-7 hours straight. It was the best thing I did after days of no sleep. Not being rested enough isn’t good for your milk or you. But just a suggestion! 
Those emotions are all over those first couple weeks, you also had a long labour. Give yourself some time and take the pain meds!! I was only taking Tylenol and Advil together but man did I know when I missed a round of it for a while. Vaginal births really require bedrest for two weeks. Settle in, just feed and change those diapers, sleep when you can - things will be even better in a couple weeks!! So happy for you. 

persnickity

@Hopeful_mom I didn't start pumping until my daughter was 6-8 weeks, but even then, I didn't get a lot at first. It takes time to figure out which pump settings work the best for you. And when I'm not sleeping as much or not eating/drinking enough, my milk supply goes down. You have to make sure you're napping!

The cluster feeds are tough! Felt like I was nursing constantly. I'd finish nursing, change a diaper, and start nursing again.

persnickity

Also, if you're pumping right after nursing, you're going to pump less because she just drank a lot of what you had stored up. Don't be surprised if you pump more first thing in the morning compared to the rest of the day.

mtpbadger

@hopeful_mom I was also told to pump no more than 20 min every 2-3 hours. It can take awhile for your supply to get up there and there is no harm in supplementing! For your vag- did your hospital give you any ice pack pads? I used those during the first week and it was sweet relief. Also, tucks on top of a pad can help. My hospital also gave me some type of spray that helped numbed things down there but I didn’t find that too helpful. If you get tucks, also try putting them in the fridge before putting them in a pad. It took me about 2-2.5 weeks to feel somewhat normal down there, I was so sore!! 

I also agree with the ladies above, lack of sleep, not drinking/eating enough can impact supply. When Abigail was still in the nicu, I was pumping every two hours religiously and getting more than I am now that she’s home which I think is due to lack of sleep, worse eating habits and stress of caring for a newborn! Hang in there momma, you’re doing great!!

MMD1986

mbradfo2 I don't think grandparents ever get a full fix of baby time.  My MIL wants to come over every week to see Brooks and its a bit much for me.The weekends are the only time I feel like I really get to spend time with him so I don't want to share.  Plus she always calls him "my boy", which bothers me for some reason.

@Polythene Pam I love that you can send your daughter on missions to interrupt his time.  I think that's awesome.

@mtpbadger You'll do great on your own.  Our NICU has all the parents attend classes prior to discharge. I laughed because one night they were preaching over and over about how they have to sleep on their backs, but then I got to Brooks's room and he was asleep on his stomach.  He loves it too.

@hopeful_mom You may want to play around with different settings on your pump.  You shouldn't need to pump for 45 minutes.  I pump for 15 minutes 7 times per day.  I normally average 2-2.5 oz per pump.  And like others have said, make sure you stay hydrated.  If I don't drink enough water I definitely see a drop in supply.

byrneme

@hopeful_mom I am SO happy to see you over here, I've thought of you often since our time on the other IF boards. Congratulations! And I echo was the PP say, 20 minutes every 2-3 hours. I never produced a lot so 2 oz this early after feeding seems like a good amount to me. But every set of boobs is different!!!

Hopeful_mom

Thanks so much for the info ladies!!

i definitely need more sleep, hard I'm doing this a bit solo with support of family which is great but it's a bit tough.

Im happy that my body is at least producing I would just like it to get on bored a lil more.  I think my lady bits killing me makes it tougher to get comfortable to even pump.

i did take home a bunch of stuff, will try the tucks stuff! I've been using the spray too but at times I feel like it's burning me rather then soothing me.

i thought I wasn't getting the baby enough food but I did keep changing her so she had to be getting something.  She's been such a good girl that her overly fussiness was confusing.

she slept 3/4 hours so she had to be somewhat satisfied.  I also have in the back of my mind all the jaundice issues/symptoms and want to make sure she's OK! 

And i I appreciate the reminder of my tough labor, I keep forgetting I need some time to heal!! I feel so off I need to really take a beat!

mbradfo2

As long as she's wetting diapers regularly, she's getting enough!

I'm assuming her bili numbers were OK at the hospital? I don't know how often your pediatrician wants to see her at first, but we were seen 4 times in the first month and they always check to make sure baby is pink. If they even think there's a hint of jaundice, they'll run bili numbers. My girl's numbers were fine at the hospital but the doctors are so used to having to run it again when they are discharged that she got another bili test done at 48 hours home even though she was perfectly pink. They are SUPER careful with newborns. Usually jaundice issues will pop up within the first week so if doc thinks she looks fine, she's probably just fine!

One easy way to check for jaundice is to press down some skin until you get to "white" indentations from the pressure -- a baby with jaundice won't ever get to white, it will look a little yellowy when you depress the skin. The whites of the eyes will get a yellow hue; I always find that easier to spot than just the skin. 

persnickity

@MMD1986 I can't stand it when my mil calls my daughter "my girl"!! She is your granddaughter, not your girl. It started in pregnancy, she said I had "to take it easy so that something would happen to my girl". It felt like I was a surrogate carrying their child. Drove me nuts!!

mtpbadger

@mmd1986 my MIL had a “grandmother shower” thrown by her bible study group. WTF. She also posted pics of Abigail on Facebook and DH and I had a fit over that. Don’t go announcing the birth of our child when we haven’t! 

MMD1986

@persnickity Exactly! It's annoying, he's your grandson not your kid.

@mtpbadger My MIL had a grandma shower too.  I never knew that was a thing.  And my dad announced the birth on Facebook before we could get to it as well.  I was like WTF dude?!?  We didn't find out the sex and had kept our name choices a secret, so I was even more annoyed he got to tell everyone instead of me.  I guess some people just don't know their boundaries.

Polythene Pam

Oh yes my inlaws call both my kids “my babiiiiies.” No you have 3 of your own. Ha.

@Hopeful_mom welcome and congrats!!! I know this isn’t safe but I’d nurse Graham so much we’d both pass out. I never thought I’d cosleep but we did it as safely as we could to catch a little sleep. I checked his weight religiously (I had zero supply with my daughter so I was paranoid it was happening again) but that cluster feeding is what’s building supply. I think it was 7-8 weeks we finally really turned and really spaced out feedings. Also I’ve been giving one bottle at night since the start and Graham expects it now- it’s good to hand them off if needed! You’re doing great

cashewchicken

Hi!

Been lurking for a bit but I’ve finally decided to join! Having a baby made it difficult to be active in the bump community with constant interruptions but I miss the support from here!



My little guy’s name is Tomo and he is 10 weeks old now. The picture is from 3 weeks ago but I love the outfit (he sized out... boo) so decided to share this one. The first two months was hard with figuring out breastfeeding, pumping, diaper change and everything else all while getting no sleep. I’m finally starting to relax just a bit and enjoy raising this little guy. 

mbradfo2

OMG he is adorable!! @cashewchicken

And I see he is sporting my girl's favorite kind of paci...!

I have to go through my girl's clothes and get rid of most of the newborn stuff -- she doesn't fit it anymore (and the 0-3 months are snug). So much cute stuff...I'll donate it and hopefully someone else will enjoy it! We're planning to be a "one and done" family unless we change our minds...last night my husband said, "Well, if you want to have more kids..." And he's the one who really wanted to be "one and done"! 

We are doing cluster feeding today apparently...I finally got her to calm in her bouncer....until husband gets home and riles her up again!

On another note, have any of you ladies tried Plated's meal service? I got a coupon and decided to try it before returning to my regular Hellofresh boxes. Not only did the box arrive a day late, it was missing ingredients and the kale was bad...Is that normal? I've never had an issue with meal boxes before...(I love to cook and it's an easy way to try new recipes every week without wasting alot of money at the store and spending hours researching on the same websites)

cashewchicken

@Hopeful_mom My pediatrician recommended 15 min of BF on each side (30 min total), and supplementing with 15 mL of formula or previously expressed milk for the first couple of weeks. And after BF follow up with 15 min of pumping. She didn’t recommend BF’ing more than 30 min at a time as more breastfeeding means more energy baby expends and you end up with the baby on your boob 24/7. I supplemented with formula for the first two weeks as our goal was for the baby to regain his lost weight and some. Eventually my milk supply increased and now he is exclusively breastfed. Keep it up Mama, and it’s okay to supplement here and there!

@mbradfo2 I love this pacifier. Actually the ones I love are the ones with stuffed animal attached to it. I was hoping not to introduce pacifier but my son came out of NICU attached to one.

I need to go through his clothes too. We are hoping for another one, so we are keeping most of it but there are some clothes that we will definitely donate (difficult to put on, etc).

I’ve never tried Plated. Only tried blue apron and sun basket. You should never get a bad food and arriving a day late is unacceptable! You should call them and get a replacement or a credit for it. 

persnickity

@cashewchicken He's adorable!! Love that outfit. And the great part about the community it's that you can come and go as your schedule allows. Especially with this thread, since it's a month at a time. Easier to stay caught up.

Holls214

@cashewchicken adorable and look at all that hair!!

question for you ladies- I’m still not producing any milk really... I get 30-45 ml from pumping all day. How do you stop breast feeding? Do I just slowly stop or quit all at once? I’m going to keep it going for the next week I think but it just doesn’t even seem worth it to me and he has never taken to the boob at either. 

JWatt5

@Holls214 - stop slowly. It won’t likely take long. Drop your pump times. 15 mins for a day or two, 10 mins for a few days. Then you’ll maybe have a day or two based on what you were producing that’s a little uncomfortable but hopefully it doesn’t take long. You’re making the best decision for you - be proud of that. One thing that threw me off was the little lumps like two weeks after ( @omarismyhomeboy - a tip too). They were small and I could massage them out. They kinda freaked me out at first but we’re gone after a few days! 

mtpbadger

@holls214 I give you credit for hanging in and making the decision to stop pumping, I know it probably wasn’t an easy situation to deal with. I have no idea how you stop but am interested in the answer for future knowledge 

Polythene Pam

@holls214 that was me with my daughter. I made jack so I dropped a pump session each day. From 6 to 5 etc. My boobs never hurt but moms on another board say to put on a sports bra and stuff cabbage leaves in there (truly). If you’re too full, hand express to take off the pressure. But again when I made jack it never hurt and was never an issue, I was done within the week.

enjoy all the snuggles you’ll get now and hide that pump!! You did an awesome job! ❤️

Holls214

@JWatt5 thanks so much for the advice. If I was producing even a little more I might keep it up but it’s not even worth it I think. Did it hurt when it dried up? I am hoping since I don’t produce anything really that it won’t hurt. 
@mtpbadger thanks!! he’s been great on formula and is happy so I guess that’s all that matters. 

Holls214

@Polythene Pam cabbage leaves? Huh. I actually do have cabbage in the fridge. Yeah they rarely leak or anything so I’m thinking it won’t take long. Sorry BF didn’t work for you either!