PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - June 2018

Hopeful_mom

@JWatt5 how do u know which is the right size u should be using? In the hospital the LC gave me a bigger size to use and when I research I'm still not sure....  I'm doing this power pump thing which literally leaves me pumping for an hr after all is said and done and I'm lucky if I get 3oz total after all is said and done at times it's only 2oz.  But I'm still trying!!

JWatt5

@Hopeful_mom - here’s the Medela guidelines. https://blog.medelabreastfeedingus.com/2015/05/medela-breastshield-sizing-guide/

You’re defiantly giving it your all!! How many days post are you now?? I did a pump where I would do the 15-20 mins, wait 10 mins and then pump again for 10 mins and it gave me a better pump that the hour one did (and more manageable). For heat if I would do a wash cloth that had been soaked in hot water. Then I got a set of these later on. (It’s a Canadian site but I know you can find them in the US) https://www.snugglebugz.ca/booby-tubes.html

MMD1986

@Hopeful_mom you're doing awesome with the pumping. I know it's hard. Have you tried lactation cookies? I had a family member make me some and I don't know if they helped or not (I pump 7 times a day and am only able to produce 16 or so oz no matter what I try). But I did find that having cookies and justifying it as helping my milk supply helped boost my mood as dumb as it may sound. 

Hopeful_mom

Ur pumping 7x a day whoah u go mama!! Just not enough hours in the day for me to do that much! @MMD1986 how r u doing with the baby home now?

@JWatt5 I agree seems my boobs give a lil more with the power pump!!  It's crazy how time consuming it all is...I tried a hot shower prior not sure how much it helped...but anything to help the cause, thanks!!

im trying non alcoholic beer, eating extra almonds and apricots and oatmeal! 

JWatt5

@Hopeful_mom - I never did a MOTN pump. I’d pump at 11pm and the 6am bit not at 2am. We did a bottle. In the end my supply came through and it was fine. But if it hadn’t. I knew I needed that break of a bottle sometimes by me, sometimes by DH to keep me sane. Keep fighting but if and IF it happens that formula is best never let the milk guilt get you. I know some are saying, too early to say that. Maybe so because you are a total fighter. But...if it becomes too much. Your baby will be happy and health ok!?  And. I’d even mail you my formula Pro to borrow. Supplementing or full formula feeling is ok if it makes you a better mom. You’ve got this. Pump and feed as long as you can. Try putting baby back on here and there!!  You’ve fought so hard to be here. Make sure you take care of your self and then your tiny human will be just fine. 

latershrader

**TW Maybe? Not sure**

Y'all! I thrilled and terrified at the same time. I stopped taking my the pill this month because it was making me feel all kinds of crazy. We did the deed. And I think I ovulated. I mean the chances are so so slim...but maybe? 

persnickity

@Hopeful_mom when i first started pumping, all I'd get was 3 oz total, unless I pumped first thing in the morning, then I'd get more. I find that I started producing more once I got into a routine with pumping at the same time each day. Any time I shift my pumping times, even by 30 minutes, it can change the amount. I pump the most at my morning session, pump 3 oz total at my mid day, and pump more at the afternoon again. 

omarismyhomeboy

@Hopeful_mom @JWatt5 Power pumping was my solution too! It honestly did wonders for my supply and was the only thing that worked- not supplements, not lactation cookies (which were delicious). But I also supplemented with formula from day 2 of when she was in the hospital, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. You do the best you can do, and remember that Fed is Best. She's on straight formula at this point and I'm cool with it. 

OK y'all I need some words of advice over here. So, June is 9 months. She has 0 teeth and no sign of them. She's a pretty good eater, picky with some stuff though. We never did BLW. She eats some finger foods now though, she loves puffs, avocado, sweet potato, carrots, rice cakes, cheese. When it comes to things like carrots, I steam them, like, repeatedly so they are pretty mushy, but she can still pick them up. When something is a little too hard for her she stores it in her cheek and its stressful and I have to fish it out.

At daycare, we used to just send in whatever food we wanted them to give her, but starting July 2, they are doing a snack menu for the babies, 2x a day. It has stuff like beans, peas, cinnamon raisin bread, red bell pepper. I am having massive anxiety looking at this menu realizing I have no control over the size of the pieces they give her, how cooked the are, etc. Raisins and peas seem like the perfect shape and size for a choking hazard. Most of the babies in her class are 1 year old already. What do I do? Is it my anxiety flaring up and there's nothing to worry about? Should I try some of this stuff at home before they give it to her? I know a lot of yall have been doing BLW for a while and your babies eat big chunks of things all the time but I have a MASSIVE fear of her choking and I am not sure how to deal with it! Like even thinking about giving up control over what she is making my heart beat faster. I realize a lot of this is just my own weird hangups but do yall have words of advice for me?? And have any of your babies stored food in their cheeks when its not something they want to or can process? Thanks- you have all made me feel so much better on multiple occasions! 

byrneme

@omarismyhomeboy - for having no teeth she sounds like she is doing AMAZING so great work! We recently went from sending all Zoey's food to working with the center menu. Do you have to do all/nothing? We highlight what we want her to have and then send in things for what she can't (like, really, my almost 11 month old probably can't handle a chewy oat bar) or a I don't want her to. I asked how small they cut their things and the answer was cheerio so I felt better - can you ask a few more questions to get to a better comfort level? You do whatever makes you not freak out - it's the only way we mamas can stay sane! I will say, as the weeks have gone on (we started this on June 4) I've become MUCH more relaxed and have highlighted a lot more. I do keep Stage 3 foods there on hand because she DOESN'T like everyone but still needs to eat. 

omarismyhomeboy

@byrneme THANK YOU this is so helpful. And yes, we can cross off anything we don't want her to have. I dont want to be that crazy mom who crosses a lot off, but at the same time, the other babies are 2-3 months older than her and more experienced. And you also reminded me that I, too, have become more relaxed as she has gotten older. I used to cut her puffs into quarters bc I was so panicky but now we are both comfortable with many more options. I think sometimes my anxiety obscures how far I have actually come in getting comfy with new foods for her. I think it's not too much to ask to talk to them about it and figure out a good balance. 

byrneme

Glad to help ease your mind. I think I actually said these exact words this week to the teachers 'feed her anything you think isn't going to kill her' LOL Namely because I want her to get a variety and we haven't had any food allergy experiences so I feel comfortable with new things (which, at this point, is really just things she's had all mixed together like in a casserole). 

persnickity

@omarismyhomeboy it's totally normal to panic! The first time we give Mackenzie any new food I worry.  And there are some things on that list that I wouldn't feel comfortable giving and that's with us only doing BLW and her having 4 teeth. As for choking, babies are actually pretty amazing. They're gag reflex is further forward and slowly moves back as they get older. So they might cough and spit it out, but not be in actual danger of choking. It can be scary the first time it happens. The important thing is to not panic and overreact, which might cause them to startle and actually choke.

Also for size, the state has size restrictions on the food here. They cut up the stuff we send even though we'd prefer that they didn't.

Polythene Pam

@omarismyhomeboy I just stopped cutting my 4 year olds grapes! I choked as a kid so I am PARANOID. (Grapes are my weird thing, I hand off all other food no cutting and finally trust her with grapes ha). I worked at daycare, and totally normal to cross stuff off and tailor it to your child. Plus that’s great for that age! Graham is juuuuust starting puffs at 7.5 months, I always say my goal is birthday cake by their first birthday I don’t think I gave my daughter raisins till much later when she had full teeth. 

I’d talk to them and then also trust a little- I never thought of it till someone showed me, I’d cut the peel off an apple and my daughter would gnaw on it as a baby. Never would’ve thought of that! So they may have tricks, but I guarantee they’ll also respect you for limiting food if you aren’t there yet.

@latershrader wooo!! Possible! We keep talking about if we’ll just try before seeing the RE, totally possible. How crazy would that be.

mbradfo2

JWatt5 said:

Supplementing or full formula feeling is ok if it makes you a better mom.

I wish more people would say this! I felt really judged at the hospital when I decided to go formula feeding -- as if I was an evil person trying to harm my baby. I actually overheard nurses referring me as the one who is "refusing" breastfeeding. Formula was the best choice for my family, full stop. Fed is best; happy mommy is best. 

And baby is happy too -- she's actually on the tail end of an almost 6 hour a night sleep! Maybe we're getting somewhere....I just wish she would start sleeping at 9 or 10 instead of 2 or 3 in the morning >.< This is the fourth night in a row that she's slept a solid chunk. I woke her up a little bit when I got up just to get a little food into her so she wouldn't be starving when she woke since she isn't used to going this long between feeds. She took a couple oz and then went back to sleep. Had a busy day yesterday visiting with my parents and my youngest niece (1.5 years). She hates sleeping when things are going on so she didn't get much in the way of naps. 

Ugh, I wish I could stop worrying about milestones. I know every baby is different and so far she's been perfectly on track. I think part of it is that her physical development seems to be just a bit behind her mental/social development -- she was smiling and babbling a month ago, but she still hates to hold her head up (she can, she just hates it). I have to remember that she was 5 weeks early and she's only 3 months old anyway - less than 2 adjusted. -bleh-  I guess we all find various things to worry about when it comes to baby!

She's started to recognize and like certain toys and grab at them which is super cute. She has a little stuffed bunny that has a rattle in it and she loves smacking the bunny so it rattles. She is starting to become more fun rather than just an eating and pooping machine!

I can't believe June is almost over. It seems like time has just been flying by. 

Polythene Pam

Fed IS best. I can’t say that enough. Daughter was FF due to zero supply, she’s a healthy, way too smart 4 year old. Graham is attached to my boob, and would comfort nurse all night if he could. Also healthy. My OB and pediatrician both helped me realize that, as I was pumping around the clock trying to make it work with my daughter. I’m so glad they spoke to me, I got that extra time to snuggle my baby rather than push what was a lost cause.

@mbradfo2 have you seen the wonder weeks app? Babies go through “leaps” in development. Sometimes while going through a leap, or teething, or any number of things, they regress in other areas. My daughter babbled up a storm, but regressed when she had 7 teeth pop at once, or when she learned to walk. Apparently baby girl couldn’t multitask she did have a minor speech delay and we had a bit of speech therapy but that was after age 2.5, and us agreeing with our doctor. Now I *try* not to worry since I know our dr will direct us if we are behind. Now at age almost 5 she’s right in with her peers in every area, so I know it works out try to enjoy the time, they all get there!

persnickity

@mbradfo2 I second the wonder weeks. One of the leaps is actually characterized by them regressing with regards to supporting their own head. And every baby progressed at different rates and different skills. It's hard not to worry though.

mtpbadger

Question about the wonder weeks....for a preemie do you go by their adjusted age? 

persnickity

@mtpbadger You actually go by due date no matter what. 

MMD1986

I downloaded the wonder weeks app based on recommendations from my Facebook mom group. I like that it goes by due date instead of birthday because Brooks always seems so far behind other babies, but he appears to be right on track for his adjusted age. 

mtpbadger

Thanks ladies!! I figured it would be by due date/adjusted age but good to know! Also glad there’s other preemie moms on here - it’s so nice to be able to ask questions and know others that have been there!

mbradfo2

I just downloaded the wonder weeks and think it's pretty awesome -- and according to the app, she's right on track for her adjusted age (which is what the doctors were saying anyway). I guess 5 weeks make a difference when you are only  3 months old! (Not even 3 months for another 2 days to boot.) And it seems more in-depth than the child development classes I took in college (I suppose they have to cram 0-18 into a semester or two) which appeals to my scientific side. 

@mtpbadger
I'm so glad to have other preemie moms around as well. It's so hard to know what to expect when all the books and blogs are targeted at term babies and yours was over a month early. I've always been very relaxed about her preemie status - mostly because she went home with me, never needed NICU or support, and I was also a preemie by about the same length of time 4-5 weeks, so I'm used to the concept. But she's still "cooking" so to speak haha I'm sure my parents went through the same stuff! 

She's still perfect, though, of course!!!

I really am starting to think that I've got a handle on all this baby stuff...!

Aera11

finally crossing over to this board!  I can't believe Aisleigh is 3 weeks now...her due date was this past Thursday, which blows my mind.  I took a little bump-break while we were getting situated & into a good routine.  I am still struggling to get her to latch...she might do it for a minute or two but gets frustrated & then I get frustrated because she cries; she will do it with a nipple shield but I feel like that defeats the convenience of breastfeeding when on the go.  I am able to pump enough for her now, about 3-4oz every 2-3 hours but I don't know how long that will be enough for her.  We had to supplement in the hospital since she was so small & lost more than the 10%.  I am okay with pumping for now but I can see where it will get to be tiresome... 

mtpbadger

@aera11 I’m right there’s with you - Abigail will latch but doesn’t get the sucking part yet. The LC I met with said to just keep offering the breast before every bottle for no more than 5 min (or whenever it gets to just before frustration for either you or baby) unless she’s going to town sucking and it might just “click”. It’s clicked for Abigail here and there and I’m hoping it’ll get better and she definitely prefers the nipple shield as well. Pumping is exhausting but hang in there. We have to add a high calorie supplement to the breastmilk so have to pump and I’m hoping she’s gained enough at her 2 mo appointment in a few weeks to decrease that so we can really give BF a better shot.  I haven’t tried breastfeeding in public yet (we haven’t gone out too much since she’s still soooo little) but I had a friend that had to use a nipple shield with her second kid and exclusively BF so I’m guessing it can work in public?

persnickity

@Aera11 I'm not sure why you wouldn't be able to use the nipple shield in public. I have these hard plastic protectors that I wear and have to take out of my bra and set them somewhere when I nurse. It's like the opposite for using a nipple shield. And once you get comfortable with it, you can put in a nursing cover (if you use one), pull out your breast, stick a shield on, and go pretty quickly. I went to a lactation support group before going back to work and several mom's used nipple shields. If you want to go without it, just keep practicing and working up to it. It can take babies a while to figure out what to do.

Polythene Pam

@Aera11 welcome!! I used the shield for 7 weeks, I even got to the point where I’d tuck it in my nursing shirt during the day (after I’d clean it). At 7 weeks I just tried pulling it and after a day of a frustrated baby, it clicked and he got it.

that being said, pumping sucks, literally. I had to FF my oldest and stopped pumping early on (made jack)- you are doing an amazing job no matter how baby is fed! ❤️

Aera11

@mtpbadger yeah I think that is what gets the most frustrating for me, is when she or I feel distressed while we are trying to do it.  Do you have to add in vitamin d drops too?  My pediatrician just told me to give those to her once a day as well since breastmilk isn't high in vitamin d I guess...?  Yeah the shield can for sure work in public or anywhere, my issue more or less with it in public is that Aisleigh fights that for a while too.  It takes her a good minute or two of screaming & sucking to realize there is milk coming through & then she is golden.  I don't care what people in public think, it just seems like it would be stressful to be in the middle of a restaurant fighting her with the shield haha. 

@persnickity yeah I know I can for sure use the shields in public under my cover, it's just that she fights those too at first & I am nervous to try it out in public because she looses her mind before she gets a good rhythm with the shield.  

thank you @Polythene Pam and I agree, fed is best for sure.  I am thinking I will try to see a lactation consultant this week or next if we haven't made progress; I saw one in the hospital but with no milk, it was hard to really put the baby on & try more than getting her to latch.  

JWatt5

@Aera11 - I’d suggest seeing a LC. I saw one for about 2 months when Parker was first born. I wouldn’t leave the hospital without an appointment. Somedays I was frustrated with having to see one, never mine the hour of being completely exposed but in the long run it was for the best. I was lucky to have a great one who supported what I wanted to do (pump exclusively in the end). 

mbradfo2

So for the past five days or so, Anne has been sleeping a solid 5-7 hour stretch at night. It's so...strange. I'm used to her being up every couple hours at night - usually hungry, sometimes just fussy. Now she takes about 6-7 oz around midnight and settles down to sleep around 1 or 2 am...and isn't up again until first breakfast at around 7 am or so. She likes taking a solid nap after eating first breakfast as well, but she's awake most of the day after that, save for little cat naps. We do still have to get her to fall asleep on us or in her rocker/bouncer; she struggles falling asleep by herself in the bassinet or crib. But once she's fast asleep, the transition to crib is pretty smooth. 

I, on the other hand, have apparently lost my ability to sleep at night after 3 months of being up every couple hours.  

 I was thinking of trying some melatonin to see if I can reset my clock??

JWatt5

@mbradfo2 - these kids are little tricksters and like to change the way they sleep fairly often haha. As soon as you get used to little sleep, they sleep and then the revert back. Haha. Melatonin works for a lot. I found a calming fire sound on the app I used for Parker sometimes that killed me to sleep haha. How long are you home/off work for? I’ve been home for a year now and I’ve just gone with the flow, kept a “fairly the same” number of sleep hours in some way. I function best at about 6 hours - preferably straight haha.

persnickity

@Aera11 my daughter latched and nursed well, but still screamed and lost her mind when hungry the first month or so. I found that if i caught her earlier, before she got too hungry, that I could get her nursing without a meltdown. Now we just deal with her getting distracted. I have to find a quiet place or she just won't stay latched.

mtpbadger

@aera11 Abigail is on a multivitamin and iron drops that we add to a little bit of breastmilk and bottle feed to her. The multivitamin smells so bad! I think part of my problem is that she is so used to the milk coming right away from the bottle that when I try and breastfeed, she’ll latch and suck a few times and then gets really frustrated when nothing comes right away. I also have to catch her before she gets hangry and that seems to work better. If she gets to that point, she wants nothing to do with the boob and only wants the bottle. 

Im going to give it another week or so and then call the LC again, she had said to give it a few weeks to see what happens and then come back in. It’s exhausting though....attempting to breastfeed (even if only for a few min to get her used to it) then bottle feeding and then pumping. I feel like just when I’m done it’s time to start all over again 

MMD1986

@mtpbadger are you giving her Poly Vi Sol? We have to give that to Brooks and it smells awful! Kid must not have developed taste buds or something because he doesn't mind it, but yuck!

mtpbadger

@mmd1986 that’s the stuff!! One of the nicu nurses had us taste it too....yuck!! She said the reason they mix it with breastmilk is bc so many kids gagged and choked when it was squirted right into their mouths.  After tasting it I don’t blame them!!

Aera11

@JWatt5 yeah I will definitely go back.  Our hospital was walk-in appointments or I can set one up, so I will try to get in there this week if we haven't made progress.  

@persnickity I try to catch her early too but then she is just too sleepy to stay awake haha, so I am either trying to get her to stay awake (even in just a diaper she will sleep) or I am dealing with the screams.  I can for sure see how they can get distracted; I've tried using my cover at home just to keep it darker so she can focus but so far it hasn't helped.  People aren't kidding when they say breastfeeding is hardwork!

@mtpbadger adult vitamins are stinky so I can't even imagine a poor little baby having to taste liquid ones!  Aisleigh is the same with getting frustrated when nothing comes out immediately.  I try to express milk so there is some on the nipple or in the shield but that trick hasn't worked really, usually she lets it run down her face.  I am glad there is such great support for us trying to make it work because it's frustrating and tiresome.  

mtpbadger

@aera11 same here. Her clothes usually end up soaked with breastmilk that has run down her face. It’s good to know we’re not alone though! 

persnickity

@Aera11 Yes! Mackenzie would fall asleep all the time too. She would nurse one side and fall asleep, then I'd have to wake her up and nurse the other. And many times, she's be too tired and I'd be nursing again 45 minutes later. It was such a hassle at first. 

mbradfo2

@Aera11
I remember googling "how to keep baby awake during feeding sessions" our first week or two home. She would just get semi-content and start snoozing...but since she didn't get her fill, she'd quickly wake up crying within an hour or so. Babies.... 

JWatt5

One of my biggest problems with Parker abs breastfeeding was keeping him awake. I would strip him down, cold room, stroke his cheek, spoon in cold water to run on him - basically baby tourture it felt like and he’d sleep haha. One feed (both sides) took and hour to an hour and a half. I think he would have gotten better eventually but some Undiagnosed Thrush made the pain unbearable hence the pumping. I wish my family doctor had been more aware of the symptoms of Thrush. My LC was sure I had it. Then my OB at my 6 week post appt confirmed. It was a painful 6 weeks. 

mbradfo2

@JWatt5
I remember one of the articles my husband was reading to try to figure out how to keep her awake during feeding said that as a last resort, if all else failed, a cold and wet cloth would wake her right up. haha I think this was our 2nd or third night home with her and it was 2 am and he was struggling to get her to latch onto the bottle because she was so snoozy. She was a preemie so the doctors wanted to make sure she didn't miss a feeding. To think now she downs 180-200 ml per feeding no problem....wow. 

And the bane of my existence - thrush. Obv. I was formula feeding so I didn't get it, but she was on two different meds trying to clear it up!! Finally got better after two weeks on diflucan (and 4 weeks before that on nystatin). We were almost ready to paint her with gentian violet >.> Actually that was my husband's plan if the thrush didn't clear on the diflucan...and it didn't start clearing until 8 -10 days after starting it. Doc said it takes awhile to work, but it did the job thank goodness.

JWatt5

@mbradfo2 - Parker didn’t get Thrush but I had it. So bad. Cracked nipples, shooting pain - and my family doctor said oh it just happens. My OB told me to take a Canestan Oral and - that’s all it took. I have a recipe for a great all purpose ointment now. we did the gentian violet for a day or two. What a mess!!! Haha. Purple skin and pumping purple milk!!