PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - June 2018

mbradfo2 · June 2018

We'll be going over to my parents' house to celebrate with my parents and my sister's family. Nothing too fancy, just noisy dinner with family.

My husband is a fan of the Incredibles so I got baby girl a little onesie that looks like the Incredible superhero costume and another that says "My dad is Incredible!" so she can surprise him when he gets up on Father's Day. And of course, cute cards.

I also think I'll let him sleep in as long as he wants!

mbradfo2 · June 2018

Happy Father's Day everyone!

MMD1986 · June 2018

Anyone have any tips for flying with a 4 month old? Having to make a last minute trip to my mom's house and bringing Brooks with me. Luckily, I don't have to bring a car seat and all that stuff because she has everything we need. More just looking for in flight tips. I'm afraid of his ears hurting. The flight from New Orleans to Las Vegas is a couple hours, and no connections thankfully.

persnickity · June 2018

@MMD1986 We flew at 6 months for about an hour and a half long flight. We brought some toys to play with that she could chew on and planned to nurse for take off and landing. Ended up with just having her sitting on my lap facing me for take off and sang/played with her. She didn't cry or rub her ears at all. After we reached cruising altitude, she nursed and took a nap. Slept through landing and deboarding on the flight home.

There were several of us traveling back in March/April. Those threads might have more tricks/tips.

MMD1986 · June 2018

Awesome. I'll go check those out. He's a really good baby so we should be ok. Just a little nervous making the trip alone. Thankfully the plane isn't booked so hopefully they will let us have a row to ourselves.

JWatt5 · June 2018

@MMD1986 - we had zero problems with Parker’s ears too. We travelled to Mexico (3.5 hour flight) at 7 months. Carrier - saved me getting on and off the plane. Backpack diaper bag also really helped. 4 months also seems easier because there’s no additional food and such, they tend the sleep more. Flight home was a lot easier since it was his second flight.

Polythene Pam · June 2018

@MMD1986 we’ve flown 2x with Graham now, he fussed a bit when we started coming down but I nursed and had a bottle as extra backup. At 2 months he just snoozed, the last flight was 5 months and I just made a lot of faces and played peek a boo

We’re flying again at 9 months and I’m guessing we’ll need more entertainment and snacks.

liljoy-2 · June 2018

Thanks ladies for the hubby help answers

I guess we still haven't figured out our routine yet. I mean, we have the responsibilities down but he's always falling behind and his excuse is that he's very tired from work and he needs to focus on work since that's the bread and roof over our heads. And I don't get me time anymore since we are behind with basic housekeeping. I've started to feel overwhelmed and depressed since we can't even find a housekeeper to help with some chores. I really want to try for another baby since we still have embryos, but I'm depressed that we can't cope even with one. I suspect I'm more tired/less energy than some of you supermoms here but it is what it is.

persnickity · June 2018

@liljoy-2 Stop. Don't you dare beat yourself up or think you're anything less than a super mom. Want to know the last time I cleaned our bathrooms? I have no idea. Want to know the last time DH vacuumed? The dog hair says a few weeks ago. But that's okay. The main things, such as laundry, cooking, and keeping the kitchen clean get done. We deal with everything else when we can. It's hard to not to stress about it.

You need to try and take me time when you can. It's so hard to carve out time to do something for yourself when so many other things still need to get taken care of. But you have to take care of yourself.

mtpbadger · June 2018

@liljoy-2 I think any mom is a super mom!! Taking care of an infant is no joke or walk in the park. DH and I have had small fights/disagreements bc I don’t think he’s pulling his weight and he thinks me being on maternity leave is like a vacation ha! We haven’t cooked since Abigail came home from the nicu (thank goodness for Uber eats and friends that have brought us food) bathrooms haven’t been cleaned since she was born, I dusted for the first time in weeks yesterday and I don’t even know the last time our floors were vacuumed or mopped. Which needs to happen bc there is spit up and breast milk all over the place.

Everyday when DH gets home, we have decided that no matter what, I get at least a half hour to myself. I can nap, go for a walk, take a bath (whenever I get around to cleaning it) or extra long shower whatever I want but it’s a baby free time for me and it’s helped so much. And even tho I keep thinking of all the household things I could do during that time and it’s hard, I don’t allow myself to do any of it. As long as there is food, some clean clothes and baby is taken care of, we are all winning at motherhood!

Holls214 · June 2018

Yes don’t be so hard on yourself. Sorry things are a little rocky. Today was my husbands first day back at work so I’m all alone. Things went pretty well. It’s quite the adjustment to do all the feedings alone at night, exhausting being up every 2 hours. He got home from work and has been kind of working ever since. Annoying. Hoping that won’t be the new norm. We are all rockstars I swear!

Polythene Pam · June 2018

@liljoy-2 no super mom!! I bought a roomba since I never vacuum, my daughter points out the dust everywhere, and she eats peanut butter sandwiches for dinner far too often. I’m currently ignoring both kids to try to send out work emails and this distracted me.

it took us a LONG time to get in a groove but my husband mans dinners for us (we eat after kids are in bed) while I tackle bedtimes. Then I get ME time- a bath or sitting outside reading.

being home is great but isolating... if you can, find library groups, walking groups, you’d be amazed at the moms groups out there. I’m in a very active one and I do much better with that loose routine with one outing a day, it does wonders for me personally and makes the day go faster. Hugs!!

MMD1986 · June 2018

@liljoy-2 Please don't be so hard on yourself. Being a mom is tough and you're doing a great job. Raising a tiny human is tough and it's ok if some of the house chores fall behind.

I agree with others, make sure you find some me time. Maybe your husband can do bath time or something to give you a little bit of time alone and it gives him something to do with the baby that's his.

stella_700 · June 2018

@liljoy-2 I'm chiming in with the other ladies. This is hard, really really hard. Carve out the time, we need it for our mental health. Its not laziness, its a NEED. Also I know I'm dealing with some Postpartum Anxiety so watch for that and PPD. I'm doing a couple of things to combat the overwhelmed, stressed out freakouts and keeping a couple of mantras in my head.

1. They are only this little once. Look down while snuggling them, smell their sweet selves, be in the moment, cause in the blink of an eye they'll be running everywhere.

2. Liljoy-2 is there anyone that you can ask for help from? Do NOT be ashamed to reach out for help from friends and family. Even if its, "hey can you guys get together and coordinate meals for us this week?"

3. Say this out loud, "I refuse to let dust, cat hair, and messiness steal the joy of this time" It's just not important, its not. Fed and clothed baby and you? Then things are good, the rest can sit. Saving your energies for that baby and your health, physical and mental is far and away more important.

4. I think men often want to dismiss our upset at their lack of help as "post pregnancy hormones" I found that if I sit him down for a come to Jesus meeting where I'm completely calm, he finally gets it. I'm mad. You need to make some adjustments. The thing is, they will backslide several times probably. I hate having the same conversation over and over but its going to happen, I know its happened with us.

omarismyhomeboy · June 2018

@liljoy-2 You are ALREADY AMAZING. I honestly don't think I could do what you do! I have been at home the past 2 days without work, because June is sick and I'm like OMG! This is SO MUCH WORK! Having a job is, in lots of ways, less work! Listen to all the other amazing women here and know that you already are a supermom. Enjoy your sweet sweet baby.

mbradfo2 · June 2018

@liljoy-2
I sometimes feel like I barely pass for a functioning human being, let alone a mom (or supermom!). You guys will figure it out I'm sure

Maybe you could check with the local universities/colleges to see if there's anyone who wants to make a little money as a "mother's helper" (usually does light chores to help take the load off)?? I see people advertising for that all the time around here. Maybe there's a service who can set something up? I loooove my cleaning service. It helps out SO MUCH so I can just focus on baby and "need to do" chores (dinner, laundry, dog walking/feeding).

Holls214 · June 2018

Is it normal to start bleeding again after 3+ weeks after birth? It’s not a ton of blood but it’s bright red and comes every time I go to the bathroom.

mtpbadger · June 2018

@holls214 I would call your OB just to be on the safe side.

persnickity · June 2018

@Holls214 check with your OB. I still had bleeding until my 6 week check up, but it was off and on based on how active I'd been.

Polythene Pam · June 2018

@Holls214 I had that (even thought I had my period even though EBF), but I called just to be sure. I was told to take it easier a few times. Easier said than done but made the hubby help out more!

doubleblessings1124 · June 2018

I agree with everyone. We are all supermoms and shouldn't let anyone make us feel any less- especially ourselves. Things do get better over time and so many of my mom friends have told me this. My husband is currently gone for 3 days for work and I remember stressing about it but here we are my twins 2 months old 1 month at home and things are going just fine on my own. I definitely have good and bad days. Reaching out for support is key. I have a big list of things to do but tackle one at a time and prioritize. Having alone time is key. One bad day my husband finally got home after 10 pm and I went grocery shopping just to get out and be alone for a bit. Going outside/change of scenery really helps me. Also making time for just my husband and I. We have gone on a few dates already including a full 12 hour day celebrating our anniversary. Going to have an evening and overnight to ourselves this weekend. Yay for grandma and grandpa!

Holls214 · June 2018

Thanks ladies- I will do that.

I have been quite more active and actually forced myself to go golfing the other day even though the anxiety was quite high so that’s probably it.
@stella_700 I’m also dealing with PPA and it’s been quite an adjustment... are you taking any supplements or anything to help?

Hopeful_mom · June 2018

Still not making as much milk as I would like, anyone take any supplements that helped?

im so exhausted I actually starting falling asleep in the shower today and had to grab the a handle as I started losing my balance. Lack of sleep is starting to hurt! Baby isn't fond of the bassinet so I need to figure that out.

Polythene Pam · June 2018

@Hopeful_mom I tried supplements but honestly I’d check with your dr. I tried fenugreek but it made Graham TERRIBLY gassy and up all night as a result, then a friend who is a nurse mentioned that in the long run that can make you dry up more. She said to make milk, you need to move milk... feed feed feed, add pumping if you need more. Feed, then pump 5 min after. Drink a TON of water.

not sure if these actually help but people swear by drinking Gatorade, beer, almond milk, then eating oatmeal with brewers yeast and flax seed.

I EBF besides one bottle of formula a day, nothing seemed to help get enough to get that last full feeding. I made jack with my daughter so I tried the supplements with her too, just nursing frequently seems to be the best for us this time around. I thought I wasn’t making enough but if baby is growing enough, I learned to just trust my body. Took a long time to get confident though!

mtpbadger · June 2018

@Hopeful_mom lack of sleep and stress can also impact milk supply so as hard as is it, try to get some sleep. Also stay hydrated. I’ve definitely noticed that when I forget to drink my next pumping section produces less. Production also varies throughout the day. I started drinking “mothers milk” tea, not sure if it actually helped or with time my body just started producing a little more.

Over here we’re trying more and more to breastfeed and gosh darn is it hard and frustrating! She goes from zero to hangry so fast that we both get frustrated, she’s crying/screaming and I’m a mess so we usually go to the bottle fairly quickly. She latches pretty well but then won’t suck and I think gets frustrated the milk doesn’t flow right away like it does from a bottle. Occasionally she’ll do a whole feeding from the boob but it’s few and far between. The LC said for being a preemie she’s doing great and expects her to start sucking in a few weeks and to follow up back with her just past Abigail’s due date.

JWatt5 · June 2018

@Hopeful_mom - fenugreek and blessed thistle combo worked for me every time. For hydration I found Coconut water was great. Brewers yeast capsules I tired at the end but not sure it did much. Water water water, healthy proteins. And a calm pump place. Easier said than done for sure but for me - the car. He slept everytime in the car, I wasn’t focused on the milk because I wa driving and I always pumped more. Also make sure you are massaging and pumping to empty everytime. Every the Booby Tubes or heat pad first. Hope this helps!!

JWatt5 · June 2018

Also flange size!! Make sure you have the right size. Pumps usually come with a 24-28mm. I was a 21mm. Made a huge difference.

persnickity · June 2018

@Hopeful_mom being dehydrated and lack of sleep always had a big impact for me. Your body has to work hard to produce milk on top of everything else it's doing. If you're not sleeping, your body goes into survival mode and won't produce as much milk. If you're so tired that you're passing out in the shower, you should try sleeping more before you try supplements. Easier said than done, I know. Also, it's a vicious cycle, but stressing about producing less can lead to you producing less, which leads to more stress etc. Try not to worry about the exact amount you're pumping.

cashewchicken · June 2018

@Hopeful_mom In the breastfeeding class I was taught that oatmeal is good. I haven’t tried it yet but it’s healthy and thinking about eating it for breakfast from now on. I’v been drinking mother’s milk tea that supposedly helps with milk production (many of the teas contain fenugreek but I drink one that doesn’t contain it) but hard to tell if it’s actually making a difference or not. I started drinking as soon as I was discharged from the hospital and the milk supply has gone up but probably that has more to do with the increased demand than the tea itself. That said, the tea is yummy and I love drinking tea, so I’ve continued to drink it.

Sleep is important and if you are falling asleep in the shower, maybe you can ask someone else to feed the baby (either expressed milk or formula) while you get some sleep?

Holls214 · June 2018

@Hopeful_mom sorry you are dealing with all of that. I don’t have any advice except for that I feel for you. Hopefully it will get better! Sleeping is surely rough. We are up every 2 hours to feed then the past 2 days he hasn’t been feeling well. We have been staying in bed until like 11 whether we are sleeping or not.

liljoy-2 · June 2018

Thank you ladies for all the advice, it's really helpful and encouraging. It seems we are all in the same boat. Hugs

MMD1986 · June 2018

Just remember being a mom isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's ok to not love it every single minute of every day. Just soak in all the good moments you can and take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby.

JWatt5 · June 2018

@MMD1986 - good point! Some days/some nights are so hard. So friggin hard. Doesn’t mean you don’t love that tiny human. One day at a time!
I had a non stop, one thing after another day but when I went to bath Parker I found this and...kid made me laugh and forget it all. He’s got a serious innie haha Peas for dinner!!

MMD1986 · June 2018

That's so awesome. Lol.

Holls214 · June 2018

That’s hilarious!!

cashewchicken · June 2018

@JWatt5 That is so awesome! Can’t wait for my baby to stick food in places other than his mouth! When my nephew started eating solids, he stuck a piece of yam in his ear. Too cute.

With regards to parenting, I tell myself to not compare myself to others. As long as I’m doing my best, it’s okay. Actually these days I tell myself that even if I’m not always doing my best, it’s okay too. Got to admit, I rocked my son’s bassinet with my foot the other day while surfing the web in my recliner.

MMD1986 · June 2018

I let Brooks watch TV today and justified it by saying his head was turned to the right instead of the left like he favors so it's ok.

Hopeful_mom · June 2018

Thanks for the tips ladies! I'll have to look into the tea! And yes sleep is needed for sure! I kept telling her that after each feeding!! She would just cat nap and it's torture!!! I breastfed her all day but at night I have into a bottle as she just wasn't happy! In a matter of 3/4hrs she went through 3oz of BM and 5oz of formula, spread out but still....she just seemed to need more and my boobs were so sore from all day that I couldn't put her on them.

some of u mentioned warming the boobs prior to pumping, how r u doing that?

im trying cold packs after to see if that can sooth them! There's only so much pain I can take! I need to call the LC and the day just gets away from me

Ilky · June 2018

***lurking***

@Hopeful_mom hi dear! Obviously I havent tried this myself (yet!) but I have a recipe from my herbal classes (Herbal Academy), it is to nourish (vitamins and minerals) the mom and increase the milk supply. I'll post the recipe here, in case someone like to try it:

Ingredients

2 parts raspberry leaf
2 parts lady’s mantle leaf
1 part nettle leaf
1 part peppermint or spearmint leaf
½ part rose petals

Directions

Blend the herbs together
Place 4 tablespoons of your infusion blend in a shatter-resistant vessel with a tight fitting lid.
Cover with boiling hot water, cover, and steep for 4 to 8 hours.
Strain the herbs out, and enjoy your infusion!
You can reheat the infusion before drinking if you wish or enjoy it over ice.
Store extra infusion in the refrigerator for up to 2 days.

latershrader · June 2018

Hi All. I've been away for a bit. I had my first work trip, 4 nights away from the baby and it went just fine. I cried a few times after getting back to my hotel room at night. But Facetime really helped. It also helped that almost as soon as I got back we headed out on our family beach vacation. A whole week with my boy and my husband (and other family members) was really amazing. Eli loved the pool but not the ocean water. He did eat a lot of sand and actually his constipation got a little better! LOL! As much as we tried to keep the sand out of his mouth, there as just no stopping it sometimes.
Welcome to all the new mamas! I wish you all luck on your journey through Motherhood. All I can add is that it DOES get better once you get through that first few months. You will sleep again! I never got a supply when I tried to BF but I remember...all the latching and pumping. It was mind boggling on top of no sleep. And it hurt my heart to give up on it but formula was best for us.
Now I'm on to dreaming about a second baby. My DH thinks I'm crazy to want to go through all of this again. But I really want another. We'll see!
Hope everyone is having a great summer!

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