I agree with the birth month disappointment. As minor as it is, I'll be pretty upset if this babe is born in November. I'm due Oct 27th so it's a total possibility. I've just never liked November for some reason.
@jemmerjams October 15th is my H's birthday too! Z was due October 9th. I was induced on the 15th and he came the next morning. #3 is also due October 9th. If he's a week late, there's a good chance he could share a birthday with either daddy or big brother. And daddy already has to share a birthday because he's a twin. So everyone in this family needs to stop doing the deed in January because there's too many October birthdays!
I just wan Blast to come as close to ontime as possible so I don’t have to a) go back to work before the new year or b) deal with the stress of a potential induction due to overdue baby.
I just wan Blast to come as close to ontime as possible so I don’t have to a) go back to work before the new year or b) deal with the stress of a potential induction due to overdue baby.
*stuck in the box*
THIS. It would work out perfectly if she came on her due date.
BFP #1: due 6/17/2013, DD born 6/25/13 BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016 BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
@knottieamusements I plan on starting to talk to my doctors about birth plans next week, at 23 weeks. This first conversation I want to find out more about what their (and the hospital’s) usual procedures are, and also to get her recommendations on good resources for natural birth techniques. Later on I’ll ask more about the other “what-if” scenarios but for now I just want to get started with some good information. We can talk about complications or plans B and C next time. Plus I see different doctors every time I go, so this gives me time to get several opinions!
So far I don’t have any plans for any classes beyond the one-day hospital childbirth class. I usually prefer to learn on my own. I want to read about the different techniques and then pick and choose what I think is worth trying.
@ninji15 that’s really too bad you had such a rough time nursing. Before starting with a pump, try hand expressing the first day or two (until your true milk comes in). Pumping colostrum tends to result in a good percentage of your production trapped in the pump parts. I breastfed my 27 weeker until he was 12 months old (from the time he was able to take oral feeds) and my 33 week twins until 15 months. Also, ask about Motilium (domperidone) to promote milk production. We routinely offer it to preemie moms to support breastfeeding. Motilium might be a Canadian brand name, but the generic domperidone should be the same anywhere.
@ninji15 that’s really too bad you had such a rough time nursing. Before starting with a pump, try hand expressing the first day or two (until your true milk comes in). Pumping colostrum tends to result in a good percentage of your production trapped in the pump parts. I breastfed my 27 weeker until he was 12 months old (from the time he was able to take oral feeds) and my 33 week twins until 15 months. Also, ask about Motilium (domperidone) to promote milk production. We routinely offer it to preemie moms to support breastfeeding. Motilium might be a Canadian brand name, but the generic domperidone should be the same anywhere.
This gives me a lot of hope! I was really worried if I ended up with really early LOs breastfeeding would be a no go again. That doesn't sound like it was the case for you. And great point on hand expressing I didn't think about, by the time I got my pump a week later I was so engorged and full of milk I think the colostrum ship had sailed for me.
@ninji15 I also suggest reading the breastfeeding book by the La Leche league or the Ina may guide to breastfeeding. Goes over early babies, c section, etc and how to breastfeed through it all.
Excellent questions. I guess I'll talk to my OB at my 23 week appt next week or maybe at my 24 week appt?? (If I have one?). I'm going to take the 4 weeks class the hospital offers on August, and hopefully they can tell me what is standard then, if I'm too lazy to reach out first or my OB can't give me answers.
@ninji15 My LC also recommended hand expressing and breast massages to help with production in the beginning. Is there a LC on staff at the hospital where you deliver?
The best advice I got before DS1 was born was to come in with a brief plan of how you think you want your birth to go, but be prepared for none of it to happen. I didn't have super strong opinions on how anything would go but wrote down my preferences and sure enough most of it did not go that way! DS came out super fast and there wasn't time to do anything on my list...other than not get an epidural, which I only didn't get because there wasn't time.
In the end I came home a healthy baby so it was all a success
My hospital is moving away from nurseries and into "rooming together" - which I'm fine with AS LONG AS I can still ask for them to take LO to the nursery for a bit so I can rest. I have heard they have gotten "worse" about this since my last kid so that's one thing I need to figure out how to be clear on without seeming like a bitchy person who doesn't want my kid around, which ain't it at all.
@HoosOnFirst My hospital does the same. I’m with you—after the initial flurry of activity with delivery, first feeding attempt, etc, I would really like them to take the baby so I can get some rest and eat something before the visitors start coming. I think it will greatly help my recovery (and my general mood) to get just a bit of a break.
@HoosOnFirst I didn't even realize there was still nurseries used! I thought that all babies are being roomed with the moms now. I heard that in room was better for bonding, safety (like baby switching mistakes) and feedings so they switched the hospitals. If you have the option then using sleep as your reason sounds like a good one to me.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@knottieamusements 1) Besides briefly discussing med free goals, I didn’t give my OB my preferences paper until 30-some weeks. She pretty much just glanced it over and said we’ll see how birth goes. I think the only thing she stopped to discuss was delayed cord clamping and jaundice.
2) Combination of asking OB specific policies, the hospital tour, and my doula. Mostly doula since she’d attended many birth at my hospital and was my most accessible point of contact.
3) So much. My classes are basically where I learned all about each intervention/drug/procedure and when/why they are helpful or not.
I love that we're having an October baby. Oct is already busy (MIL Oct 5th, my twin cousins Oct 19, niece Oct 20, SIL Oct 25th and my wedding anniversary Oct 1). However, we LOVE October. With a EDD of the 12th, there are few chances for a Sept baby unless I go really early.
I'm debating if I talk to my OB about med options next appt (23.5 weeks) or the following at 27.5 weeks.
Switching gears away from birth month disappointment:
1) What conversations are you having/ planning to have with your doctor about your birth plan? When will you be having them? My appointment next week is with one of the doctors who baby catches so I'll be asking him about plans and hospital practices
2) For those of you who are taking into account hospital’s default practices, how are you finding those policies? At my next appointment and probably a class the hospital offers
3) What questions/ information from birth classes are you incorporating into your plan? I have to go to the classes first but I'll get back to you on this!
Generally I'm just hoping to get most of my questions answered next week at my first Appointment with one of the doctors that could potentially deliver the babies
@tinattt23 curious, do you mind sharing what your birth plan was regarding jaundice? My bro and I were both jaundice because of something to do with my dad genetically speaking, so I'm curious what you would plan for. With me (winter baby), my parents didn't know and I ended up in an incubator for a while, but with my bro, they knew to put him in the sunlight (summer baby) so he never got the incubator.
@britvahok There is and was the first time technically, she was just on vacation the whole time and no one else was there who could help. I am hoping to have a better experience this time.
@SweetSweetTooth Thank you I am going to look for those asap! I am going on vacation soon and need the reading material.
@jemmerjams Wasn’t necessarily a plan for jaundice. Just discussing how delayed cord clamping, while it does have its benefits, can also increase janudice risk. She just said we’d keep an extra eye out for it and worst case (unlikely) he’d go under the lights. But with a family history of jaundice, maybe it’s be worth discussing delayed vs immediate clamping.
No real plans here. Ideally I'll have VBAC #2, but I'm not going to pick that to be my hill to die on, kwim? If it's going to work, it'll work. This baby is tranverse right now, so all I can say is they'd better rotate their ass sooner rather than later. DS was transverse the whole time and ended up breech, so yeah...
My biggest requests are I'd like to be able to move around more if at all possible. Since I'm VBAC, I'm pretty sure I'll have to have the continuous monitoring like I did last time, so if I can get wireless monitoring that would be awesome. I handle the pain and discomfort so much better if I can walk around. I would also like to avoid them breaking my water if not necessary. They broke it about an hour after I got to the hospital with DD, and I hated how the contractions went from manageable to HOLY HELL immediately. Other than that, it all went pretty well. I almost had an episiotomy because they thought DD's head was stuck (it wasn't, she was just taking her ole sweet time), so maybe I should think about asking them not to go that route this time, but we'll see.
My hospital is moving away from nurseries and into "rooming together" - which I'm fine with AS LONG AS I can still ask for them to take LO to the nursery for a bit so I can rest. I have heard they have gotten "worse" about this since my last kid so that's one thing I need to figure out how to be clear on without seeming like a bitchy person who doesn't want my kid around, which ain't it at all.
My understanding is that most hospitals who room together no longer even have a nursery. If it's a newer thing at your hospital they might still have the option, but hospitals seem to be doing away with them for all babies except NICU. It didn't bother me with Z, but I think it's awful they don't give women the option if they've had a rough delivery.
@tinattt23 thank you! I'll have to look into that more, I was leaning towards delayed but will talk to my OB for sure and find out typical hospital policies.
@HoosOnFirst I’ve never used a nursery. My hospital rooms in so that’s what we’ve always done. My experience was that it was actually fine rest-wise. Both my girls slept really well their first night. H actually woke me up (insert death glare) the night after DD2 was born because she had been asleep for 6 hours and he was worried about her. I think they were as tired from the whole birth thing as I was
@DunkinDecaf Exactly. I really didn't find it to be that bad while in the hospital. I was up pretty often, yeah, but no more than normal full term pregnant insomnia. The real fun is the 3 day old cluster feeding!
My hospital is moving away from nurseries and into "rooming together" - which I'm fine with AS LONG AS I can still ask for them to take LO to the nursery for a bit so I can rest. I have heard they have gotten "worse" about this since my last kid so that's one thing I need to figure out how to be clear on without seeming like a bitchy person who doesn't want my kid around, which ain't it at all.
My understanding is that most hospitals who room together no longer even have a nursery. If it's a newer thing at your hospital they might still have the option, but hospitals seem to be doing away with them for all babies except NICU. It didn't bother me with Z, but I think it's awful they don't give women the option if they've had a rough delivery.
I had a rough first delivery and the nurses were super judgey about it. I don’t know if I will want to use it this time, but I just don’t like that they might not give the option. It’s kinda like when they push breastfeeeding - they are so focused on telling you what is “best”, sometimes it’s not what’s best for YOU as the lady who just underwent a major medical event. I kept getting lectured for not trying to BF last time. I was heavily drugged due to a bad delivery, lo wouldn’t latch and looking back I was probably still in shock for a bit. Ugh. Basically a hospital should be able to support any safe choice, is all I mean to say. Last time one nice nurse took dd for a few tests and offered to keep her for an extra hour to let me sleep, and it was super appreciated.
Our hospital no longer has a nursery, however I was very much unable to care for DD after delivery and there was still an area they took babies in that situation. I would double check with what their backup plan is.
@HoosOnFirst Yes, exactly. We all know the benefits of rooming in/breastfeeding/etc.... but hospitals should be respecting women’s choices because no one can decide what’s best for us and our babies except us.
@HoosOnFirst I delivered DD and DS at the same hospital and they would not take either to the nursery when I requested it. The only time they took them away was for their newborn checkups, DS’s circumcision, and his kidney ultrasound. At one point I told them I was so exhausted that I didn’t think I’d be able to pick him up if I needed to, and they said it was too bad and that I would have to figure out a way to deal with it because I’m a mom now (mind you, I already had a 19 month old at home so this wasn’t my first rodeo). Luckily my doctor no longer delivers at that hospital so hopefully it won’t be such a big issue this time.
Re: birth plan. My only plans are to avoid Pitocin and to labor for as long as possible without an epi (I’d really like to go med-free this time since I had an epi with both DD and DS). Aside from that, I’m just trying to figure out a way to let them know that I have no desire to breastfeed this time around. I need to go back on my antidepressants after this baby is born and they’re not compatible with breastfeeding, plus my experience trying to BF DS was horrific and I have no desire to go through that again.
@hoosonfirst for sure. I hope you get less judginess this time . I got some of that judgy shit about nursing last time even though I was hoping to breastfeed bc I told them I’d only made it 6 weeks before making the full switch to formula with DD1. I just about snapped on the LC making lemon face at me and telling me what I should’ve done. Thanks, holly hindsight. Like, I’m telling you I tried. For 6 miserable weeks. The kid needed to eat and I needed my sanity. Can you stow it please?
@tlmill don't hate me... Since you are off your meds (think that is what I caught) can you do a feeding or two in the hospital to get baby some colostrum and then do formula so you can get back on the meds?
I appreciate the hell out of your reply, @tlmill! It's like, I'm an educated person, and the staff sometimes assumed I wasn;t and just didn't know better. I wanted to have her in my room. I wanted to BF. Truly. But shit went so sideways. And this time as a STM I am not afraid to ask for things as I am feeling even more educated now about what I can and cannot handle. I am super interested in rooming in and BF'ing this time, but I'm not going to kill myself over it. I also had PPD last time and like GEE I wonder why? I am glad to hear you have a plan about your medication and your instincts for how to manage yourself to be the best mom you can be in the early days!
I considered switching hospitals this time around, but frankly I love my OB, and last time I had a retained placenta and ended up back in the hospital 10 days postpartum, and they did SUCH a good job taking care of me. So L&D wasn't the best but all the care afterwards was - so I'm going to go back and just be a better advocate for myself. If something medically goes wrong, I would want to be at this particular hospital.
Since I've had a previous c-section and am hoping for VBAC, I plan to draft two birth plans based on the two potential deliveries. The deciding factors that would lead to a cesarean birth will be if baby is super large and/or if I need to be induced. My provider/hospital don't do inductions for VBACs and after my last induction experience, I'm personally not willing to do it again.
For FTM considering whether or not to have a birth plan, I highly recommend it, especially if you have any preferences on the naturalistic side. With my last delivery, I wanted an all-natural water birth, but ended up with pre-e, pumped with meds, and a c-section, but I'm so happy that I educated myself and was able to understand what was happening to me and what my options were. It was a painful experience, but I did not feel stressed throughout the ordeal.
@SweetSweetTooth I promise I don’t hate you! I can definitely do that, I think I just have such a mental block against BFing after epically failing at it with DS, so that’s definitely not helping. I think I went into it with the wrong attitude last time though...BFing DD was a freaking walk in the park (we only stopped at 14 months because I was pregnant with DA and it killed my supply) but it was nothing but problems with DS.
@HoosOnFirst I felt the EXACT same way. I felt like they thought I had no idea what I was doing and they had to hold my hand. I was 22 when I had DD and 24 when I had DS so I’m sure they also thought I was too young to know what I was doing so that pissed me off as well. Like damn, I really do want to spend time with my baby but this is also a short break from my toddler so can I have just like an hour to nap in peace?!
@tlmill oh good our board is so friendly lol I just know colostrum is so super loaded with amazing things and even if anyone has no desire to breastfeed, to try and at least get some colostrum in them! Even if you hand express and drip it in their mouth (the quantity is so very little) it can do wonders for your baby. (FTM and just lots of reading on bfing so feel free to all ignore me!
1) What conversations are you having/ planning to have with your doctor about your birth plan? When will you be having them? Well somewhere in my chart it's already noted that I will not be getting an epidural. A resident was taking my info around 16 week appt and asked and was totally shocked when I said no. My doctor knows I'll be attempting natural and I will have a doula, that's as far as I got with her. I'll bring it up probably closer to the time when I have to go register at the hospital...7ish months I believe.
2) For those of you who are taking into account hospital’s default practices, how are you finding those policies? I believe you can ask alot of these questions if/when you go on a maternity tour.
3) What questions/ information from birth classes are you incorporating into your plan. I learned so much it's where I basically learned the ins and outs of what options there even were. I'll post my birth plan/PREFERENCES once I get around to reviewing all that. Only thing I will for sure be changing is delayed cord clamping.
@jemmerjams - exactly what @tinatt23 mentioned. Because of ABO incompatibility (not Rh which you get a vaccine for) my kids are more likely to be jaundiced. I believe I have O+ blood type (ABO incompatibility can occur only if a woman with type O blood has a baby whose blood is type A, type B, or type AB. If a baby is type O there won't be a problem with a negative immune response because type O blood cells don't have immune-response triggering antigens).
In the delivery there is an exchange of blood and my antibodies basically attacks their red blood cells. The heftier the baby the easier it is for them to run it out of their systems. My first was under bili lights for over 36hours. As a new mom, seeing your newborn and not being able to hold him is tough!! DS2 was heavier (almost 10lbs) and needed only sun therapy by the window and additional pricking to test for jaundice. I'd rather not deal with that again. Cut the cord ASAP. I will be saving the placenta for encapsulation and making a tincture so they'll have that. Delayed cord clamping is good if it works for your family.
@jemmerjams Wasn’t necessarily a plan for jaundice. Just discussing how delayed cord clamping, while it does have its benefits, can also increase janudice risk. She just said we’d keep an extra eye out for it and worst case (unlikely) he’d go under the lights. But with a family history of jaundice, maybe it’s be worth discussing delayed vs immediate clamping.
FYI for anything in your birth plan, be specific!! Example if you say delay cord clamping it is still very open ended. I know a hospital in the area has different Dr's who feel differently about what 'delayed' actually means. One is 30 seconds another is about two minutes. I was even told using 'until the cord stops pulsing' isn't good as it is very flexible when each person feels it has stopped. After 30 min after the placenta delivery, check with me before clamping etx are all better wording. Crazy how specific one needs to be!
@tlmill oh good our board is so friendly lol I just know colostrum is so super loaded with amazing things and even if anyone has no desire to breastfeed, to try and at least get some colostrum in them! Even if you hand express and drip it in their mouth (the quantity is so very little) it can do wonders for your baby. (FTM and just lots of reading on bfing so feel free to all ignore me!
I say this with love, but colostrum isn’t magic and plenty of us didn’t get to do that and our kids are geniuses anyway
@HoosOnFirst all love felt I just know it has great properties of coating the intestines and if you can do it awesome. But yes, not trying to make anyone feel bad if they can't do it due to medication/whatever.
Re: Birth plans!
1) What conversations are you having/ planning to have with your doctor about your birth plan? When will you be having them?
2) For those of you who are taking into account hospital’s default practices, how are you finding those policies?
3) What questions/ information from birth classes are you incorporating into your plan?
BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016
BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
So far I don’t have any plans for any classes beyond the one-day hospital childbirth class. I usually prefer to learn on my own. I want to read about the different techniques and then pick and choose what I think is worth trying.
Also, ask about Motilium (domperidone) to promote milk production. We routinely offer it to preemie moms to support breastfeeding. Motilium might be a Canadian brand name, but the generic domperidone should be the same anywhere.
@SweetSweetTooth Yes I will have to ask this as well!
Excellent questions. I guess I'll talk to my OB at my 23 week appt next week or maybe at my 24 week appt?? (If I have one?). I'm going to take the 4 weeks class the hospital offers on August, and hopefully they can tell me what is standard then, if I'm too lazy to reach out first or my OB can't give me answers.
In the end I came home a healthy baby so it was all a success
If you have the option then using sleep as your reason sounds like a good one to me.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
1) Besides briefly discussing med free goals, I didn’t give my OB my preferences paper until 30-some weeks. She pretty much just glanced it over and said we’ll see how birth goes. I think the only thing she stopped to discuss was delayed cord clamping and jaundice.
2) Combination of asking OB specific policies, the hospital tour, and my doula. Mostly doula since she’d attended many birth at my hospital and was my most accessible point of contact.
3) So much. My classes are basically where I learned all about each intervention/drug/procedure and when/why they are helpful or not.
I'm debating if I talk to my OB about med options next appt (23.5 weeks) or the following at 27.5 weeks.
@SweetSweetTooth Thank you I am going to look for those asap! I am going on vacation soon and need the reading material.
My biggest requests are I'd like to be able to move around more if at all possible. Since I'm VBAC, I'm pretty sure I'll have to have the continuous monitoring like I did last time, so if I can get wireless monitoring that would be awesome. I handle the pain and discomfort so much better if I can walk around. I would also like to avoid them breaking my water if not necessary. They broke it about an hour after I got to the hospital with DD, and I hated how the contractions went from manageable to HOLY HELL immediately. Other than that, it all went pretty well. I almost had an episiotomy because they thought DD's head was stuck (it wasn't, she was just taking her ole sweet time), so maybe I should think about asking them not to go that route this time, but we'll see.
Re: birth plan. My only plans are to avoid Pitocin and to labor for as long as possible without an epi (I’d really like to go med-free this time since I had an epi with both DD and DS). Aside from that, I’m just trying to figure out a way to let them know that I have no desire to breastfeed this time around. I need to go back on my antidepressants after this baby is born and they’re not compatible with breastfeeding, plus my experience trying to BF DS was horrific and I have no desire to go through that again.
I considered switching hospitals this time around, but frankly I love my OB, and last time I had a retained placenta and ended up back in the hospital 10 days postpartum, and they did SUCH a good job taking care of me. So L&D wasn't the best but all the care afterwards was - so I'm going to go back and just be a better advocate for myself. If something medically goes wrong, I would want to be at this particular hospital.
For FTM considering whether or not to have a birth plan, I highly recommend it, especially if you have any preferences on the naturalistic side. With my last delivery, I wanted an all-natural water birth, but ended up with pre-e, pumped with meds, and a c-section, but I'm so happy that I educated myself and was able to understand what was happening to me and what my options were. It was a painful experience, but I did not feel stressed throughout the ordeal.
@HoosOnFirst I felt the EXACT same way. I felt like they thought I had no idea what I was doing and they had to hold my hand. I was 22 when I had DD and 24 when I had DS so I’m sure they also thought I was too young to know what I was doing so that pissed me off as well. Like damn, I really do want to spend time with my baby but this is also a short break from my toddler so can I have just like an hour to nap in peace?!
I just know colostrum is so super loaded with amazing things and even if anyone has no desire to breastfeed, to try and at least get some colostrum in them! Even if you hand express and drip it in their mouth (the quantity is so very little) it can do wonders for your baby. (FTM and just lots of reading on bfing so feel free to all ignore me!
Well somewhere in my chart it's already noted that I will not be getting an epidural. A resident was taking my info around 16 week appt and asked and was totally shocked when I said no. My doctor knows I'll be attempting natural and I will have a doula, that's as far as I got with her. I'll bring it up probably closer to the time when I have to go register at the hospital...7ish months I believe.
2) For those of you who are taking into account hospital’s default practices, how are you finding those policies?
I believe you can ask alot of these questions if/when you go on a maternity tour.
3) What questions/ information from birth classes are you incorporating into your plan.
I learned so much it's where I basically learned the ins and outs of what options there even were. I'll post my birth plan/PREFERENCES once I get around to reviewing all that. Only thing I will for sure be changing is delayed cord clamping.
@jemmerjams - exactly what @tinatt23 mentioned. Because of ABO incompatibility (not Rh which you get a vaccine for) my kids are more likely to be jaundiced. I believe I have O+ blood type (ABO incompatibility can occur only if a woman with type O blood has a baby whose blood is type A, type B, or type AB. If a baby is type O there won't be a problem with a negative immune response because type O blood cells don't have immune-response triggering antigens).
In the delivery there is an exchange of blood and my antibodies basically attacks their red blood cells. The heftier the baby the easier it is for them to run it out of their systems. My first was under bili lights for over 36hours. As a new mom, seeing your newborn and not being able to hold him is tough!! DS2 was heavier (almost 10lbs) and needed only sun therapy by the window and additional pricking to test for jaundice. I'd rather not deal with that again. Cut the cord ASAP. I will be saving the placenta for encapsulation and making a tincture so they'll have that. Delayed cord clamping is good if it works for your family.