Birth plans!

cjx95

After some lurking in the med free thread I've learned I have no idea about birth plans. So in case there are other mom's who are interested in them and don't have much info I figured we could share some stuff in its own thread?

Do you have or plan to have one or just going with the flow?

STMs did you have stuff on your first you won't this time around?

Anything you didn't have and plan to have this time?

Any questions??

chyvie

I haven't thought much about this but I feel like I'm going to go with the flow and take advice from the doctor. I know I'll likely get an epidural. even though I hate the idea of the biggest needle as I'm afraid of needles but I don't think I can endure the pain. 
Not sure how you can "plan" child birth and I'm a big planner. It feels like there is a lot of unknowns so it will be hard. I'm also guessing my child birth classes will help me decide about if I need a plan or not? 

sammierose464

Yes I've been thinking of this too.

pajamstagrams

So far, the extent of my plan is "I don't really want an epidural, but never say never". 

sliztee

1.) I can haz all the drugs ASAP?
2.) Defer all judgment to the professionals.
3.) Birth baby.
4.) Go home.

chyvie

@sliztee sounds like an excellent plan to me! 

sammierose464

jemmerjams said:

So far, the extent of my plan is "I don't really want an epidural, but never say never". 


------

so far what mine is.

mytrueloves

A birth plan isn't really a plan at all. It's just a list of your preferences. Even if you don't plan on printing one off or taking it with you or whatever, I always recommend researching and crafting one because the research will teach you all of your options and can give you a head's up on what can go wrong. My birth plan is more for my partner than any of my care providers so he can easily remember what we want in the heat of the moment. 

I think we all realize that you can't script a birth. But that doesn't mean we can't research our options and prepare as much as possible.

I'll share mine here for anyone interested: 

cjx95

@mytrueloves I love the use of pictures!! It's so easy to read and scan through in case someone needs a quick answer on something! Thanks for sharing! 

chopchop25

What @slitzee said. That’s my plan.

sliztee

Where did you get the template from, @mytrueloves?

sliztee

Where did you get the template from, @mytrueloves?

mytrueloves

@sliztee I got all the images from here: https://combatbootmama.com/2014/06/25/creating-your-visual-birth-plan/

ETA: I like it a lot because they have images for pretty much everything. Most visual birth plans I've found were very med-free oriented but this has options for whatever type of birth you're planning.

DunkinDecaf

I’m planning to have a baby.

Seriously though, I did write down a birth plan when I was pregnant without DD1, and I think it helped me think though the birth process and deal with some of the worries I had going into it. Generally speaking though I think that’s where the usefulness of birth plans ends. Obviously most of the birth process winds up being out of our hands. Mostly I’m expecting to show up, listen to my doctors, get an epidural and have a baby.

chyvie

Thanks for sharing! Definitely didn't consider some of the options your plan includes. Guess I have some research to do! 

cdepperschmidt

I think go with the flow is the best way to be after my last birth. It was not atypical in anyway, just long, arduous and emotionally draining.

This time I do want to try laboring in the hot shower before I go to the hospital and I would like to try the birthing tub at the hospital if it’s open. 

I plan to get an epidural, but I plan to ask them to turn it down when it comes time to push. Last time I was too afraid to and I couldn’t feel a thing, even pressure. I think pushing would have been way faster if I could feel.

Once baby is born I want to hold her first then they get so all the meds and what not. 

My big goal this time is to try to keep an open
mind and manage my anxiety. I didn’t realize how bad it could be until last time and it took over. 

BabyRobbinsAdventure

I had a plan last time. Shared it with my OB beforehand to get her thoughts. Her one non-negotiable that was on my plan was about not having an IV. She said I would need to find another OB if I refused an IV hookup that’s ready to go in case of emergency. So I did have one in my hand and thank goodness I did because shit hit the fan when I had severe PPH.
I brought it to the hospital but never gave it to the nurses. By the time I was in labor I did not care as much and trusted judgement of my nurses (they were amazing).
Plus my hospital is very baby/mother bonding friendly so most of the stuff I wished were things they did anyways.

I will say one think that will get you on your nurses “good list” and develop a relationship is to bring a card for the L&D nurses and some bags of chocolate for them. I had lots of happy faces stop by the room and say hi and ask if I needed anything, and I can’t say for sure, but I think the chocolate helped!

So even if you don’t have a plan, establishing friendly communication is a must during labor so there are no misunderstandings when it comes time to deliver.

mytrueloves

I do want to say that I don't think anyone should rely solely on your caregivers to tell you what to do. When I went into the hospital with ODD, my plan was to do what the doctors suggested, be cooperative, and be nice to the staff. And even though I did that, things still went sideways due to incompetence on the part of the staff. I've been told by friends who work in the medical field that I should have sued the hospital and reported the staff. 
I don't want to scare anyone but I also wish someone had prepared me before I went in for the possibility that just because I was being cooperative and following the doctor's advice, doesn't mean that I was going to be treated appropriately. That's why I'm such a strong advocate for research and making sure you have an advocate with you to speak up for you when you're being treated poorly.
Thanks to ODD's birth, I'm not afraid of giving birth again but I AM afraid of giving birth in a hospital again.

krzyriver

I had a pretty plan with images to indicate my preferences... and didn’t bring it. I see where they’re helpful, but I personally didn’t end up needing it and won’t worry about doing it again. 

I know my hospital is very pro-breastfeeding, so I don’t have to worry about them offering pacis or bottles while I’m resting. But they’re supportive if you choose to bottle feed from day one, so I don’t need to worry about being shamed if I decide not to. No ones going to know I’m in labor so I don’t need to tell them to deny visitors. 

I will be very vocal about H cutting the cord tho! They handed him the scissors before Z was out and then the nurse that delivered him did it before H had even put my leg down! He was PISSED!

I can’t remember what else was on my birth plan...

knottieamusements

I think @mytrueloves said it best- it is a list of preferences rather than a plan for how things will go.  

My hospital actually has a template birthplan that I am planning to use.  Mostly it is a checklist form of what you want and don’t want. Yes, I want delayed cord clamping, no, I don’t want baby circumcised if applicable.  Since it is their form, they should quickly and easily be able to find and answer any questions they have about items that appear on it (which are pretty standard items on birth plans as far as I have been able to determine.  

I will probably have a short addendum to their form with a few things like “keep your hands off my parts unless I’m actively pushing.”  (I don’t want random people floating through doing cervical checks.)

mommy2ane

Do you have or plan to have one or just going with the flow?

My plan is just always to have the baby in the safest way possible for both of us. When I developed preeclampsia at 36 weeks 4 days, any and all plans I had went out the window (not that I had many to begin with). I didn’t want the epidural, but ended up needing to have it because of my blood pressure. My son was born limp due to the magnesium I had to be on, so there was no skin to skin immediately because NICU had to check him out to make sure he didn’t need any further treatment. Just keep in mind that your birth plan may only work in the most ideal situations and things may change. Even breastfeeding ended up being a bit of a challenge at first when he ended up with jaundice and in NICU for three days on a strict schedule. We formula fed because I wanted us to go home and I pumped to keep up my milk production. 

As for being cooperative, it definitely helped that I trusted my last OB completely and totally so it wasn’t a huge deal with my first two. I was definitely in a different situation though, with the complications. I’m a little more nervous this time around and have a huge fear that this will end up being a csection. I’ll probably ask if the hospital has birthing/exercise balls because that helped immensely the second time around with back labor. 

Mylitta

Because I'm such a 'planner' I try not to get too specific or intense with the birth plan. I never want to walk out with holding a fabulous baby and feeling like I've failed. Last time I kept it loose and it worked. I also forgot it at home, ha.

But in general I go with:
#1 Baby and mom go home safely
* No meds for as long as I can, but it's an option if I decide it is
* No eye ointment
* Yes vit K and hep vaccine
* Circumcision if applicable (obviously later)

Skin to skin immediately, delayed cord clamping, and such are all standard at my hospital. I need to speak with my dr about the delayed clamping though. DS was very jaundice and was under lights for 3 days. If there is a possibility/likelihood of a similar situation I might skip the delayed clamping. The benefits are great... except when they're not. 

tinattt23

I had two versions. One for the staff and one for DH/doula/myself. Both I labeled “preferences” since that’s all it is. Some things just go as they go. You can only plan so much. 

One for the staff was bullets point for basic medically relavent preferences for labor, birth, and immediately after. Short and sweet. Nothing too detailed.

One for support team had less medicinal info, more personal reminders (my mantras, keep me hydrated, dim lights, etc). It was longer and more detailed. 

tropical1982

Still haven't finalized my birth plan but I've done it twice before so I'm familiar with hospital practice and what I would like.  My birth plan starts with preferences and it ends with...above all, goal is healthy baby and mama.  If you have to do emergency c-section (by all means please!!) and I would like this to happen during that c-section....  So I'm very fluid but in ideal situation I have preferences like labor outside of bed, free movement.  For me that is a big one, no epidural means I want all the help from gravity and movement I can get.

KFrob

@sliztee That was my exact plan for DD and it worked out, so I'm sticking with it 

HoosOnFirst

I had not much of a birth plan for DD and she got stuck and it all went to hell anyway. My plan was to delay an epidural just to see how long I could go but I wasn't opposed to one. And then I got one at 4 cm because I was like "THIS IS ONLY 4?!" (Not to freak anyone out - I'm not good with pain and I was on pitocin, which I heard makes them stronger.)

This time around, the only changes I will make are to really avoid being induced - last time it was a necessity but I'd like to not do it this time - and speak up more for myself. I was at a busy city hospital and it's one of the top for childbirth in the whole world, but it can still be common to feel like a number. I had a shitty nurse, for example. So this time, for example, if my nurse sucks, I will ask for a new person to be assigned. That kinda thing. 

britvahok

I'm hoping that delivery #3 goes as fast as #2!! The only thing on my birth plan this time is no epidural!

@HoosOnFirst I got an epi at 4cm last time also because I couldn't take the pain anymore ( I was also on pitocin) I've also heard pitocin makes contractions worse but I've had it both times so I've never experienced labor without it. I'd be interested to hear from someone who has delivered a baby with and without pitocin.

lest12

I also think coming up with a birth plan to review with your OB. L&D can really play by it's own rules, and of course the goal is a healthy baby and mom, but it is nice to get comfortable with the Dr and get an idea of how some stuff might go.

For me, I'm scheduled for a CS on October 9th!  DS was a rough labor that ended in CS, and then DD was scheduled.  I have to say, I thought it would be easy peasy going in there, but I was really nervous and got anxiety and cried when they were doing the needle and stuff.  So, not a birth plan per se, but I'd like to find a way to go in there in a better frame of mind this time (if possible).

jengibre_zorro

My plan is to do the opposite of everything i did last time, lol.

In all seriousness though, i think the whole birth plan stage is a good opportunity to have a convo with your spouse/birthing partner about how you guys will handle things that don't go according to plan.  i.e. What if you're in distress?  What if baby is in distress?  What if you're BOTH in distress??  What if you need general anesthesia or blood transfusions, or some procedure that keeps you from baby for hours after birth?

I truly hope that no one here has that experience, but if anyone does, having talked about it in advance with someone who will be there and able to advocate for you will make it so much easier to cope with.  I spent my last pregnancy preparing for my long drug free birth, with every doctor telling me not to even think about a c-section because it won't happen, and then when it did happen, i couldn't process it.  Have a plan B.  Bodies and babies are crazy, and all you can do is be ready for any and everything. 

jennybean80

From a nurse perspective, point form is your friend. Anything long and flower-y, won’t get read.
Try and find out what the “normal procedures” are at your hospital, your OB/midwife should be able to help with that, and then don’t bother including them. For example our hospital does routine skin-to-skin, automatic delayed cord clamping with preemies, rooming in, and delayed first bath for 24 hours, so including those in the birth plan just takes up more space and is redundant. 
Things about pain management, dim lights, avoiding forceps or preferring to attempt forceps/vacuum to a c-section, those kind of things are great. 
Edited for spelling

missmaehurt

My only plan last time was to have an October baby, DD was born in September. It sounds dumb to say, but I was devastated. I want to try and avoid that type of disappointment this time, but we will see how things progress. There are a ton of September birthdays in our family, so adding another two would really break the birthday present budget lol.

DunkinDecaf

@missmaehurt I would love a September baby! I have birthstone rings for the kids and am expecting one for this kid too. Sapphire > tourmaline

mytrueloves

@missmaehurt That's not silly at all. I'm delighted to be having an October baby. I'm kind of sad that it's almost impossible for me to deliver this baby on Halloween (I'll be 42 weeks on Halloween and I've told my care provider I'd like to be induced before reaching 42 weeks). Halloween is my favorite holiday for both personal and religious / spiritual reasons and I'm ridiculously excited about having a babe due in October.

tinattt23

@mytrueloves I’m terrified this baby will hold out until Halloween (41+1). DS is a Christmas Eve baby. No more holiday babies!

cjx95

@missmaehurt I feel the same way. DH and I were so excited to be having an October baby because our birthdays are in November and December. And my grandfathers birthday was the 8th which is three days past my EDD. That wouldve been cool to share. I've always wanted an October baby but being due in the first week with twins I feel like I'll be having September babies. Totally fine but there was the initial disappointment.. 

mommy2ane

@missmaehurt both my kids were three weeks early and my due dates were earlier in the month, so neither were born the month we thought they would be. This one is due late in the month so there’s a good chance he’ll be born in his actual due date month! 

pajamstagrams

I'm due right smack in the middle of October (15th) on DH's birthday. Our anniversary is the 24th, my parent's anniversary is the 5th (the day my mom plans to fly in...), so I think regardless of how early/late she is, October is going to be a crazy (and expensive!) month from now on. I hate Halloween (not a fan of dressing up-too much effort and creativity), so I'm hoping she doesn't arrive too late, but since like @mytrueloves I'd be 42+2, I'm thinking they wouldn't let me go over too much.

kiwi2628

My hospital also has a form to fill out for birth plans. Its like 2 pages of checking boxes and such and at the end, you highlight anything that is considered out of the ordinary. Its great!

HoosOnFirst

October is our wedding anniversary PLUS dh’s favorite Holiday is Halloween and we always throw a big bash. It’s going to be an even more expensive month going forward! Also Dh thinks we are having a party this year since our kid is due the 16th. ::eye roll::

ninji15

I plan to wing it. I wasn't unhappy with my first birth experience, I got anti-nausea meds, I got an epidural (and didn't get sick yay), then I had my daughter within 8 hours. The meds worked the entire time and I only pushed for half an hour. The one thing I regret is not delaying cord clamping, since I went into preterm labor I didn't have a chance to ask about it and when I was there in all the excitement I forgot. Then as far as the after I am asking for a pump immediately. I was offered no support with choosing to BF and was told DD needed formula and only formula because I would not make enough to help her yet. So I feel like they really screwed my chances right out the gate and thats why I had to EP the whole year after.

This time I feel like I will have even less of a say so birth wise since there are two, I am pretty much expecting a c-section which terrifies me. I hear recovery is so difficult, but as long as babies are healthy I won't complain too much. I plan to be my own advocate for BFing this time since I know so much more now. I plan to latch them as often as I can if they are not needing nicu or any interventions and otherwise I am demanding a pump.

SweetSweetTooth

@ninji15 ask your provider how likely you can get skin to skin right away if there is a c section. Then ask if you would be able to breastfeed while they are closing you up/recovery.