PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - June 2018

JWatt5 · June 2018

@Holls214 - I had been dropping pumps over a few weeks (I was an exclusive pumper) so once I was down to that opted to limit pump times instead of the cold turkey option. Totally up to you. I had two mornings where I wasn’t in pain but I wanted to pump. I think one day I pumped 5 mins haha it should be fast given what you pump now.

JWatt5 · June 2018

For anyone with Endo/suspected Endo. I had the Mirena IUD put in October (even before I was done pumping) and my life has been improved so far. I still have my daily pain from the damage on my bowels but the 3 periods I’ve had were short, painless and I feel “normal” right now. I was also told it’ll help keep my Endo calm(er) in the mean time which is a perk for a hopefully second baby. Just thought I’d share my experience. So far at 10months post - best decision.

cashewchicken · June 2018

@persnickity I love this new mommy community with a mix of experienced moms and the newbies like myself...

@Holls214 It’s not easy pumping all day. You did a great job. Glad your boy is happy with formula, the important thing is that he is fed and growing. Now you can spend more time bonding and cuddling with your baby and more importantly, getting some sleep!

MMD1986 · June 2018

@JWatt5 Thanks for that tip! I was going to talk to my doctor about that IUD because I can't stand taking BCP everyday. I don't plan on having another child, but something to help keep the endometriosis from coming back would be great. I was asymptomatic, but I'm afraid if it comes back it'll be painful.

byrneme · June 2018

@Holls214 if you are really only producing 1-1.5 oz a day you shouldn't have any problems at all. I don't think you'd even need to ween pumps, you should be able to quit cold turkey. But I'm wondering if you meant 1-1.5 oz per pump?

Hopeful_mom · June 2018

@Holls214 I'm glad ur Lil man is doing well with formula that's great! My princess was projectile vomiting the formula so much more then the BM that I really needed to try and get my supply going. It's so hard when all we do is try to get the boobs working all day!! Hope the process is an easy one and ur feeling better!!

going bac to the dr today for my princess and hopefully the billyrubin will be out of her system!! And I can start to move on and worry about something else

i just wish my healing process process would hurry up!! I'm in too much pain that this is normal! Seeing my OB tomorrow hoping to get some relief or answers!!

@cashewchicken he's precious!! Things r a mess the first week so it's exciting to know it will get easier!

Holls214 · June 2018

@byrneme no I meant 1.5 oz per day unfortunately. They think the pcos really affected my milk supply.
@Hopeful_mom sorry you are still in recovery mode. I’m still recovering in the way of headaches and anxiety which is probably causing the headaches or lack of sleep still. Hopefully the doctor can give you some advice. My little man keeps peeing all over himself, be thankful for a girl lol.

mbradfo2 · June 2018

@Hopeful_mom
High bilirubin levels are sooo common. We see it all the time, especially in breastfed babies. Typically resolves quickly, but sometimes babies have to go under the lights for a bit to help it clear up. I was surprised my girl didn't have high bili levels, I see them -that- often!

Next thing you get to worry about is milestones! Or feeding amounts. I'm worrying about baby's neck control since the doctor seemed to think she could do more than she is (she's just lazy; she can hold up her head quite well if she wants to). I actually asked my dad (pediatrician) if he has ever had a baby not able to lift their head. "I mean, they do all learn to do it eventually, right?" He probably thought I was crazy.

persnickity · June 2018

@Holls214 If you're pumping 1.5oz per day total, you might be able to stop cold turkey. If you want to do it gradually, drop or cut back on the time for the pump session you get the least milk from. See how you feel after dropping that one for a day or two. If you feel fine, drop another until they're gone. If you feel engorged, try scaling back time instead of dropping completely.

liljoy-2 · June 2018

Hi momas, so my little one is 6 months now and finally getting in a groove. I decided to not worry as much about milestones, illnesses, conditions etc. So far she's been doing great despite my constant worrying as a first time mom. I feel like life won't be easy if I keep worrying this much. For me the first couple of months PP were rough physically and emotionally. I was sleep deprived, recuperating from c-section, and I didn't feel my body recovered from pregnancy until 5 months PP (I had weird joint pains all over, and couldn't move much). Also, trying to BF was extremely stressful and a whole production. I tried everything under the sun, met with 3 LCs, etc but it never lifted off. I do produce milk, more than enough, but I've been pumping, since my LO decided she didn't want to nurse. In the beginning she would just fall asleep at the breast without properly transferring milk, and then when she grew, she decided she was not interested. She only nurses a little bit during the night, which is at least a relief. So pumping, feeding, washing all the bottles and pumping equipment, doing laundry, etc and also trying not to starve in the process has been draining me little by little. I don't want to give up pumping, not for a few more months but I do feel overwhelmed. I've been trying to find some hired help around the house but so far haven't been successful.
Anyway, I do feel sadness about not being able to successfully nurse. I feel that nothing worked out naturally for me: not conception, not birth and not nursing..I don't feel a failure or anything like that, just mourning being a "natural mamma" a little bit.

Holls214 · June 2018

Why is it when people come over to see the baby they hang out for so long? My Father in-law on Saturday stayed for like 3 hours and it was A LOT... How did you politely ask people to leave or give them a hint?

cashewchicken · June 2018

@Holls214 Hide the baby! “Oh baby needs to sleep...” and take the baby to your bedroom? Honestly, 3 hours doesn’t sound bad as my MIL is here three days a week, 8am-6pm. I appreciate her help and she means well but lately she has this “I know this baby more than you do” attitude that is driving me crazy.

@liljoy-2 I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. I feel like I’m constantly washing his bottles and pump parts if I’m not pumping or nursing. But your baby is 6 months, right? I maybe wrong, but I thought that you don’t breastfeed as much starting at 6 months as you start introducing solids... well, that’s what I was hoping for.

Ladies... at what age did your baby start to sleep longer (4+ hours) at night? My baby is 10 weeks old and he is still on the 3-hour feeding schedule. Which means that we typically get 1-2 hour stretch of sleep, after changing diapers, burping and all that. Once or twice a week we get lucky and we get 4, maybe 5 hour feeding cycle. I’m dying to get at least solid four hours of sleep, consistently.

Also, in the past week, my baby is refusing to sleep during the day! He’s more active and if he sleeps, he wakes up after 10-20 minutes. Today I let him sleep in my arms/on my chest and he was able to sleep 2 hours between his feeding times. I’m reading the baby book and at his age the baby typically gets 14-16 hours of sleep but I don’t think my son gets more than 10-12 hours. Is this normal?

liljoy-2 · June 2018

@cashewchicken All the baby food books I read and the breastfeeding forums say that introducing solids shouldn't decrease the total amount of milk per day until 1 year. But to be honest, I do see that my baby wants less milk per day now (she is not a big eater). The solid food meal replaces one bottle in our case.
As for sleep, mine does 6 hour stretches at night, and this started probably around 3-4 months. She wakes up whining after 6 hours but if I really want to, I can shush her back to sleep without feeding, I just choose not to since that's the only time she wants to nurse.

Hopeful_mom · June 2018

@mbradfo2 I appreciate the input and I know it's common but I think that it wasn't detected right away and having the screaming baby in the incubator with me has scared me for life!!

Luckily the baby is gaining weight and looking good except for this eye infection...also common but annoying!!! Just frustrated that I had to supplement and now still do as my boobs can't keep up. I'm pumping, cleaning, and trying to still bf and it's still not enough. The 2 hrs the baby sleeps I'm getting stains out of everything she just spit up, and by the time I'm done she's ready for another feeding. I don't kno where the time goes and then I'm frustrated I missed that minute to close my eyes too. @liljoy-2

My baby isn't even 2wks and the only time she napped was when I held her. I bf and that wasn't enough, gave a bottle and more boob. She fell asleep and then up in 15 for more boob. Today was a vicious cycle of just eating and pooping and yet I feel so down. Granted I feel sick and I'm pain so that doesn't help!!

she was great at the drs go figure!!

mtpbadger · June 2018

@holls214 when my MIL was here over the weekend I used the “it’s time for baby to eat” and she got up and left. Even though Im not BF, I said baby needs a quiet place for a bottle. Hopefully your FIL brought food at least! That’s the only thing that makes me not mind visitors this week....they have all brought LOTS of food.

@liljoy-2 who knew pumping took up soooo much time?! The cleaning of parts is what gets me. And then pumping and still having to bottle feed baby. Instead of being up for 30-40 min in the middle of the night, it’s a good hour between feeeing, burping and pumping. Then it’s almost time to do it all over again!

mbradfo2 · June 2018

@hopeful_mom it wasn't detected?! i always thought running the bilis were routine, whether or not baby had jaundice >.> jeez, that's stressful. my baby had zero jaundice and she still got 3 bilis (2 in hospital, 1 at doctor's). i'd be annoyed with the doctor!!!

baby is 11 weeks old and only sleeps in 4 hour MAX stretches. I think I got one 5 hour stretch a few days ago...usually it's more like 3 hours. Needless to say, I'm super tired >.<

And husband had food poisoning the past 48 hours, so I've been on 100 percent duty around the clock.

I've been debating calling my mom and seeing if I can drop baby off for a few hours in the morning so I can get a break.

persnickity · June 2018

@Holls214 I nicely asked them to leave so I could nap. We also set boundaries from the start on what days and times would work for us. After the first month, it really hasn't been as much of an issue for us.

@liljoy-2 pumping is so time consuming! Anyone who exclusively pumps is amazing in my book. I only pump at work and that's enough of a hassle!

@cashewchicken At around 9 weeks, she started sleeping 6 hours at night, then by 12 weeks she was sleeping 10-12 hours. That lasted until she was 6 months. Now we're dealing with waking up once or twice a night to nurse. When teething, she was up every 1.5 hours for a couple nights. Leap weeks, she's up every 3.5 hours. As for naps, Mackenzie doesn't really nap at daycare. It's 30-45 minutes twice a day. Weekends, she now naps for 1.5 his twice a day, but that only started about a month or 2 ago. Otherwise, it was 30 minutes at home too.

mtpbadger · June 2018

@mbradfo2 oh no! I hope DH feels better soon! I would definitely see if your mom can help out for a few hours to give you a break, nothing wrong with that!

JWatt5 · June 2018

@cashewchicken - Parker woke up twice a night for feeds until 5-6 months (11pm & 3am) and then once a night (2am) until just before 7 months. We got hit with the 4 month sleep regression really bad too - woke up constantly for a few weeks. But it’s a phase.

At 6 months they can start solids but it shouldn’t replace breastmilk/formula. However, doing BLW Parker at about 7 months dropped by 4oz. (28oz to 24oz). At 9 months since he was doing well our doctor said we can start offering food before formula and he’s down to about 22oz but also far more spread out. Hopefully makes the full transition easier.

JWatt5 · June 2018

If you’re exclusively pumping get 2-3 sets of parts. It’s like freedom having that many and being able to wait until DH gets home to help with some washing! And when you move to powdered formula (if you do) get the Baby Breeza Formula Pro - best gift I ever got myself. Makes those MOTN bottles a breeze and really every other bottle.

Hopeful_mom · June 2018

@JWatt5 genius about using extra parts!!

@mbradfo2 poor dh that's awful! Definitely call in back ups!! I wouldn't be surviving without my mom and sis!!

mtpbadger · June 2018

I second @jwatt5 about the extra pump parts....it’s been a lifesaver!!!

MMD1986 · June 2018

@hopeful_mom if your LO was projectile vomiting the formula and not the breast milk did you tell your pediatrician? We have to supplement some and Brooks had a bad reaction to all the formulas I tried, so the pediatrician recommended Nutramigen and its worked out perfectly. Maybe your LO has a bit of a milk allergy as well.

@Holls214 we just had to start telling certain people straight up no when they asked to come over because they would over stay their welcome or want to come over too often. Its ok to tell them no, you'd just like time with your baby.

@mtpbadger Yes! Pumping takes forever. When I was alone on maternity leave and Brooks was eating every 3 hours, he was still so small and hadn't mastered eating. Feeding would take 30 minutes, then 15 or so minutes of time holding him upright due to reflux, then pump for 15-20, then dishes. It was exhausting, especially overnight. The second you are done it feels like its time to start the whole process over. Thankfully, with the help of my husband we've now got it down to 30 minutes per feeding session.

I never got extra pump parts, but did learn the trick of being able to put them in the fridge, which I do at work. Still wash at home, but it's nice not having to deal with it at work. Or just being able to put them in the fridge overnight if I'm exhausted.

mtpbadger · June 2018

Ugh. Today just needs to be over! Learned my FMLA paperwork wasn’t submitted correctly by HR, got a collections notice in the mail from Abigail’s birth (which was less than a month ago but the hospital didn’t have the correct address for us so to automatically got sent to collections agency) and just received a message that the hospital grade pump I’m usinf needs a new referral for me to keep it, otherwise it needs to be returned. It seems like it’s one thing after another today, on top of trying to keep a tiny human alive, fed and happy and myself fed, hydrated and sane. Oh and add in pumping. At least I showered today so I’m calling the day a win overall lol

stella_700 · June 2018

@liljoy-2 I am feeling for you right now as I had a similar experience with the twins. I'm still pumping for them but buying more than one set of parts combined with putting them in the fridge in sterilizer bag has saved me from doing washing of the pump parts to just once a day. An added benefit is those cold parts actually feel good to my full breasts right now, especially now that its summer. I has some sadness that I didn't get to nurse my babies, but between the nicu, my low supply, and them being twins it just didn't happen. We tried and all three of us ended up in tears so decided for sanity's sake to bottle feed. Just know that your feelings on the "natural momma" are shared, I think its normal to have those when you've been through our journey.

@ all the ladies with newborns still--- So the rule at my house was if you are coming to see the baby you must bring food or help clean something. Those were the rules I established from the get go. The only rule this didn't apply to automatically was my husband's grandfather and my Granny, cause they are elderly of course. That didn't stop my Granny from cooking and stashing freezer meals for me though(I'm so blessed). With the twins that is the only way I was able to keep my head above water. I've only had a little bit of friction with both my mom and my mil during longer visits. My mom constantly thinks my babies are cold, she always wants to put them in a warm sleeper with feet. We are in Texas, its 101 out there. My mother in law is super organized and tries to organize the babies drawers? I've tried to tell her that she's wasting her time there but she continues to do it, I just roll my eyes and say thank you.

So I'm looking at setting a date to end my pumping at the end of July. The twins will be almost nine months. We are flying out to Arizona and the thought of traveling with and having to pump while there is just extra exhausting. Before I do that I have a question. Is there any extra benefit to the babies received breast milk while sick? If I pump and freeze most of what I'm getting and then pull it out when they are sick in the future, is this going to boost them? Are there any studies out there? I'd like to maximize what I'm getting and wanted something for them in the future. Or is it just better to give it to them as I get a feedings worth?

persnickity · June 2018

@stella_700 haha! My mother and mil both kept saying they thought my daughter was cold. She was actually a little furnace and would cry hysterically if she got too hot...and that was if it got to 70 degrees in the house. Definitely not putting on socks.

As for the benefits of breastmilk while they're sick, my understanding is that the only extra benefit is if you're nursing. If you nurse, the baby transfers the virus to you and your body builds antibioties which get transferred back to the baby through the milk. If you're not nursing, then the benefits are no different than if they're healthy. I would just go ahead and use it up instead of saving it for them being sick.

And kudos to you for pumping for twins for 9 months!!!

liljoy-2 · June 2018

Ladies, sensitive question. For stay at home moms, how involved is your husband with caring for the baby and house chores? Mine works long, stressful hours and considers he's done his part and only occasionally helps out and only if I ask (and nicely is not enough most of the times). We had several ugly fights about responsibilities. He now washes the bottles/parts at night but complains all the time and says we should hire someone to do the chores

mbradfo2 · June 2018

@liljoy-2
I'm mostly "Stay-at-home" -- I do have work I do remotely, but the schedule is super flexible and fairly light. I occasionally go into the office for meetings/etc, but I haven't since baby arrived (nor have I worked). My husband also works fairly long hours so I end up being responsible for mostly everything in the house. He does have chores he does - laundry (I do baby's, he does ours), washing dishes, taking out the garbage - but I do almost all of the baby duty, except for baths and bottle washing (part of dish washing, imo). We've not argued about responsibilities, but there have been tense moments where I'm super tired, taking care of baby and then seeing him goofing off in his office on youtube or something.

In general, I approach issues with household chores as "what is going to make this work" -- in our case, we do have a cleaning service that comes in every other week to do major cleaning (I do light cleaning throughout the week). It's just not a hill I'm interested in dying on, personally. I'd rather get the service and not argue about who should do what or stress about it. Do I wish he would sometimes pitch in a bit more with feedings/etc? Yeah -- but he doesn't give me much push back when I do bring up "could you feed her?" "could you watch her for a bit?".

Personally, I love my cleaning service even though it makes me feel lazy/guilty at times. That passes pretty quickly when I have a lovely clean house around me.

I dunno, maybe it's just important to figure out what will work for the two of you? Maybe cleaning service would take off some stress? I'd just talk about it at a point in time where you guys are both more relaxed? I guess I just think in terms of what's going to satisfy both of our needs and keep stress at a min. I don't think things need to be 50/50, but I would take issue with someone who felt they didn't need to help out at home -at all- or that it's a favor if they do help and they should get brownie points. Maybe there's something else he can help with if he really hates doing bottle cleaning? If you're BFing, he can't do that obviously -- so I think the bottle washing is a decent trade off...but maybe doing laundry or picking up groceries would take a load off too? I mean, he can't do -nothing- imo but I'm willing to work with reluctance about certain tasks. There's usually some chore I don't like (laundry) that he's OK with doing, so that works for me.

I'm probably too easy-going about it though >.>

JWatt5 · June 2018

@liljoy-2 - I’ve been at home for 10 months now. Will be for another 2.5 months since we get a year in Canada.
I started on DH when I was pregnant telling him he needed to help more. He does dishes, bottles, trash, pets and some laundry. Some cleaning when I tell him he needs to. For the first 4.5 months he worked crazy hours and it was a constant fight, he’s gotten a new job since but chore wise it didn’t change. And it won’t when I go back to work. Those first few months I just didn’t do something’s and had to let it go. Once they start consistently napping it gets easier. And then when they can sit and play on the floor even easier.

JWatt5 · June 2018

@stella_700 - it’s not quite the same as if you were directly breast feeding like persnickety said. And then once frozen loses a bit of benefit again. Still superior to formula in ways but...I’d use it up. I had that dilemma as well and decided to just use it up. I actually went straight to 2 bottles a day for breastmilk rest formula. They do tend the poo better with some breastmilk in there and it’s like a custom vitamin bottle. They may not get sick and it could go to waste if you waited.

persnickity · June 2018

@liljoy-2 we both work full time, so this night not fully work for you guys. We believe that if you live in the house, then you're responsible for helping keep it clean. There are certain things I do and certain things he does, but at the end of the day, if you see it needs done, do it. Household chores don't belong to you just because you're home. He still uses dishes, wears clothes, etc. That said, the weeks I'm busier, DH does more and vice versa. As for the baby chores, it was a mutual decision to have a child. That makes it mutual for us to raise them. I nurse, but DH gets up and changes diapers at night. We both get bottles prepped and do bath time together. Bottles get washed in the dishwasher. It's very much a shared thing. And that was even while I was home on maternity leave. I was solely responsible during the day and once he got home everything was shared. We had fights at the start about who was doing what, but everything balanced out in the end.

To me, saying he's not responsible because he's worked hard all day completely diminishes what you do as a SAHM. The job of SAHM is a job too. It's not a walk in the park. It's not stress free. It's long hours and hard work too.

doubleblessings1124 · June 2018

Agree with @persnickity about responsibilities being shared. My husband sometimes works 17 hour days so whenever he is home at night he helps with feeds, washing, cleaning etc. He bottles our twins during the late night/middle of the night every night. We share all the chores. I love laundry so I primarily do it while he does all the mowing/yard work etc otherwise everything else is shared.

cashewchicken · June 2018

@liljoy-2 Outsource the chores if you can afford it. Having a newborn is stressful enough, don’t make it worse by fighting over chores. I’m not a SAHM, but currently on my maternity leave so I do stay home all day with the baby. I don’t do much chores. My mom comes over most weekends and she helps with cleaning the house, my MIL comes over to cook once in a while. We often eat takeout. Laundry is the only chore I don’t mind doing and I promptly wash my baby’s clothes and sheets but the adult clothes and sheets I don’t do as often and they don’t get folded and put away these days. We just pull clothes out of the laundry basket. Pump supplies and bottles I bought enough sets that I don’t have to wash everyday (though I do). If there are any appliances or gadgets that’ll make your life easier, get it. The most important things right now are for the baby to be fed and cuddled- everything else is secondary. Well, that’s what I tell myself anyway

Polythene Pam · June 2018

@liljoy-2 I'm basically a SAHM (freelance a bit from home). I admit we do fall into a rut of me doing most of the kid things, he helps elsewhere - my 4 year old is so routine that if he steps in to do bedtime, she's thrown and gets upset. We have had a LOT of talks and fights about this, so he helps now where he can. He gets home right as I'm doing bedtimes (6:30 for baby, 7:30 for big kid) so while I'm getting kids to bed, he makes dinner. I do tend to do more of the inside chores (cleaning, laundry) but we splurged on a roomba as we realized neither of us had time to do it as often as we should. We are far from perfect though, it's probably the most fought about conversation in our house. I do the nighttime feedings (7 months old still waking for 2 feeds, ughghghghghgh) and get the kids ready since he's getting going for work early... but yet he needs a nap every weekend?? It's a fight we have all the time.

All I can say is, establish ME time. This was a big battle for us, he would golf on a saturday or leave work early to see buddies, and I felt like I was asking him to babysit if I wanted to leave. No, not ok. So we established that finally.. I want a girls night, we talk it up to my daughter that he's doing bedtimes that night, and I leave. Saturday Target trip alone? He can handle the home front. My friend is a SAHM and her husband does Saturday breakfast with the kids, she can sleep or go to the store alone. Once we started doing that, it was a wonderful relief and I didn't feel so resentful. I love being home but I'm not a 1950's housewife, so we really had to establish that

MMD1986 · June 2018

Anyone have any fun Father's Day plans?

byrneme · June 2018

We are heading up to a lake near us for a quick trip (just over 24 hours) with some friends. It seems like more of a hassle to pack all of us for that short a time but it's also DH's birthday tomorrow so it's his weekend

It's going to be in the high 90s here this weekend so going north (even two hours) and being on the water will be great!!

mtpbadger · June 2018

No big plans, other than spending the day with the little one since she wasn’t supposed to be here yet. I made a little thing of her hand prints for DH but that’s about it. As a bday and “your about to be a father”s day present, I gave him tickets to a golf tournament at the end of the month that Tiger Woods is playing in. It was going to be interesting with him going since it was just a few days before my due date but now he can go and really enjoy himself and not worry if I’m going to go into labor.

@byrne15 that sounds like a perfect place to be this weekend! Hope you have a good time!

cashewchicken · June 2018

Not doing much. Tomorrow we are driving up 3 hours to attend my friends’ baby’s 1st bday party so that will be a big outing for our family. We feel like we are bad parents since we rarely take our son out. He’s still on short feeding schedule and it’s a huge hassle to go out. Not to mention I’m afraid that he’ll get sick from being in crowded places (paranoid, I know) But anyway it’ll be fun to go out with him. For Father’s Day since we are going out the day before I doubt we will be doing much. Maybe go out for a brunch? Not sure. But I got my son an “I ❤️ Dad” onesie so he’ll be rocking that outfit on Sunday.

JWatt5 · June 2018

We’re staying around our small town for Fathers Day. Probably going to my parents for a swim because it’ll be in the 90’s here (34 Celsius if there’s anyother Canadians here). I had Parker make a paint picture I framed for DH’s desk, got him tickets to Canada’s Wonderland because we haven’t had a date day yet and we’ve been talking about going for two years (no rollercoasters last summer haha) and a T Bone steak haha. I don’t eat red meat and he’s a-ok with that at home but I know he’d love a steak haha. I did order a book but it’s not here yet...I still have to walk to the mail box today but not holding my breath.

omarismyhomeboy · June 2018

Love all of your ideas for fathers day!

I got my husband a nice bottle of scotch and this onesie for June that's kind of an inside joke. I am also planning on making him breakfast so we will stay in. But we are tentatively planning on getting drinks with friends of ours and their son who is just a month younger than June, later that day.

Happy Father's Day to all your husbands!

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PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - June 2018

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