May Randoms

fragglemom · May 2018

@nancyimp I think one of the bigger concerns with medications while breastfeeding is that there are a few that have been known/suspected of permanently damaging milk supply. My doctor had recommended zyrtec ( not the Zytec-D) and saline drops.

StephBrim24 · May 2018

Ladies, any success relieving LO’s gas somehow? We’re in a bad routine. She doesn’t sleep well at night (restless, grunting and up often) so she sleeps hard during the day and doesn’t wake up enough to work out her gas (I think my fast letdown causes a lot). Then she’s screaming off and on from 8:30-12/1/ and can’t stay asleep because she’s trying to get all this painful gas out. Then she gives up around 1 but stays restless all night. I do pumping legs with her throughout the day and it seems like the last couple of days it’s not coming out easily. What do you do when it’s obviously gas? Do gas drops ever truly work? Colic calm drops? I’m so desperate for sleep.

knutty3 · May 2018

@StephBrim24. You can try gas drops or gripe water. Works for some but i think most pediatricians don't think they do much. I didn't find them helpful with my guys, but worth a shot for some relief of it works. Also, perhaps changing your breast feeding position if your let down is too fast.

StephBrim24 · May 2018

@knuttyplus2 that’s kind of what I thought on those drops. I try to lean back to nurse her but it’s still super fast. What other positions are there? And I already burp frequently. It’s just not enough.

mccurleya · May 2018

@StephBrim24 the drops have worked for us if I stay on top of them. I give them every other feed or every 4 hours. Also laying him on his side and rubbing his belly or laying him on his stomach on my chest helps relieve some of the gas too. I tried a laid back position because my let down is too powerful but he can't hold his own neck yet so that was hard. Now I do the normal cradle hold to get him latched and then lean on the arm of the chair/lay to the side some so he's sitting up while eating.

nancysimp · May 2018

@StephBrim24

I lean back when feeding, burp between, keep him upright on me 20 mins and rub his back. I do the bicycle motion, and knees to stomach. During the day he gets naps on his tummy with me watching him and I put my hand under his belly and rub it. Good luck mama.

sgrn18 · May 2018

@StephBrim24 I've tried gerber soothe colic drops, gripe water (day and night time ones), and mylicon drops. To an extent I felt like the nighttime gripe water worked in that it helped me put him to sleep easier but he still cries a lot. I stopped everything except the gerber soothe as like a trial and error thing but he was still the same. He would cry off and on from about 7pm to 11pm then be up for a solid two hours screaming from 11 to 1 and fussy from 1 to 2am before he would finally wear himself out and go to sleep (only with me though if I put him in the bassinet he would be up again an hour later)

I took him to the pediatrician yesterday after he started spitting up a bunch more than normal and she says reflux so we got meds for that. She said that he is probably really uncomfortable and he cries all the time.

knutty3 · May 2018

That's true, I struggled determining reflux v. Gas. My boys are doing better after going on pepcid for reflux (and no longer arch their back) and just toot as needed...which is like all the time!

citygirl17 · May 2018

megpeg said:

@mmom3 our windows are all open today for the first time too. I love this fresh air!
I am ready to give all of my daughters toys away. She refuses to clean them up and her 5th birthday is in 2 weeks so more crap will be making its way in.

My DD is 4.5 and I want to do the same. We fell in to the trap of getting her too much, and the clutter overwhelms her. We need to do something but she acts like we're ruining her life if we try to get rid of anything.

mmom3 · May 2018

The other thing about getting rid of toys especially when you have more babies behind them that will need to play with them - so they get saved. I’ve only gotten rid of a few thing because we now have 3.

How do you guys purge toys that have younger siblings?

becausescience · May 2018

Maybe toy rotation could work for them?

lexigirl1228 · May 2018

It was silly of me to come here looking for someone to talk to. I apologize for embarrassing myself. Like my fiancé told me, it's pathetic that I'm 24 and have no friends. People in my life haven't been supportive, don't know why strangers would be. I'll be deleting this app now. No point anyway since we are preparing to be homeless. My children aren't even enough motivation for me to go on. Why, so they can continue the miserable cycle? So done.

mccurleya · May 2018

@lexiegirl76 it is not pathetic to not have friends. Your fiancé should not talk to you like that. I don't have close friends and that's my choice. All they do is let you down when you put that much of your life into other people that aren't family. Do not let that get you down. Focus on your boys, get a therapist, and keep moving forward. If you are struggling that bad, find a local church. They can help you out with many of your basic necessities

becausescience · May 2018

lexigirl1228 said:

It was silly of me to come here looking for someone to talk to. I apologize for embarrassing myself. Like my fiancé told me, it's pathetic that I'm 24 and have no friends. People in my life haven't been supportive, don't know why strangers would be. I'll be deleting this app now. No point anyway since we are preparing to be homeless. My children aren't even enough motivation for me to go on. Why, so they can continue the miserable cycle? So done.

What kind of support are you looking for here? You've been given lots of great advice (most of which you've shot down). Are you waiting for us to offer you financial support?

maelily15 · May 2018

lexigirl1228 said:

It was silly of me to come here looking for someone to talk to. I apologize for embarrassing myself. Like my fiancé told me, it's pathetic that I'm 24 and have no friends. People in my life haven't been supportive, don't know why strangers would be. I'll be deleting this app now. No point anyway since we are preparing to be homeless. My children aren't even enough motivation for me to go on. Why, so they can continue the miserable cycle? So done.

I agree with what @mccurleya wrote and wanted to add to it. Please immediately go to your doctor and tell them about the way you’re feeling- don’t wait, call them and get an appointment ASAP. Don’t downplay your issues because having a history of depression and anxiety (I remembered from an earlier post) makes you at higher risk of post partum depression. Plus if you’re truly thinking of harming yourself or the children, perhaps inpatient therapy might be necessary.
Your local Department of Social Services should be able to help you locate a shelter for at least you and the children (not all shelters allow both men and women) and may be able to help with cash assistance depending on their qualifications.
Your fiancé is out of line for saying it’s pathetic to not have friends- firstly, there’s tough love but that’s beyond that. It’s hard to make friends as a young mom with no money to go out and do things. That said, your WIC office or Department of Public Health may be able to help you find a mommy group to join so you can meet other moms and have a reason to get out of the house that doesn’t cost money.
Also, remember that in most states, unless your lease states otherwise, the eviction process can be pretty lengthy and the judge will usually order that you have at least 30 days to vacate- that should buy you some time for him or you to find another job. The unemployment office often has job leads. Also check with temp agencies. Anything is better than nothing.
It’s a shitty situation. At right about your age, I had lots of friends but when the going got tough, most of them disappeared. *Trigger warning* My first marriage ended up falling apart after we lost a child at about 5 weeks. I was facing being homeless and alone but I ended up moving in with a friend I had only known a few months who had an extra bedroom and it was the best thing that’s ever happened to me because that friend is now my husband and we have two beautiful kids. It’s an uphill battle- we still struggle with stuff but my therapist helps me keep my sanity.
As far as the community here not being supportive, I think it’s difficult for most people because they either don’t know what to say. Or they don’t know what to say because they saw on another post that quite a bit of advice had already been provided and there’s not much to add without creating a novel like I did.

DDRRT1982 · May 2018

lexigirl1228 said:

It was silly of me to come here looking for someone to talk to. I apologize for embarrassing myself. Like my fiancé told me, it's pathetic that I'm 24 and have no friends. People in my life haven't been supportive, don't know why strangers would be. I'll be deleting this app now. No point anyway since we are preparing to be homeless. My children aren't even enough motivation for me to go on. Why, so they can continue the miserable cycle? So done.

Stuck in quotes...all of this is either MUD or a cry for help. I do strongly suggest calling your doctor. You don't have to feel this way while you deal with stress. Please take the steps to get help. You and your children deserve to be healthy.

newmomtx06 · May 2018

Charlotte just had her two month check up and vaccinations. I think I definitely had a harder time with it then she did! I am a little worried because we have not had a social smile from her yet at nine weeks. She will smile at the ceiling fan, lights, or artwork on the wall but not at us. My pediatrician said not to be worried yet that she could just be a little slow to smile but I still am worried. Has anyone been in the situation or know anyone who has?

katester91 · May 2018

Thanks everyone! At least I know I’m not going crazy alone.

@lexigirl1228 you have gotten a lot of supportive answers. The best advice you have been given is to try and find a therapist. I don’t think internet strangers can help you any further.

senora76 · May 2018

@newmomtx06 Nova will be 8 weeks on Wednesday and is totally serious. Her 3 older brothers all smiled socially and a lot by 6 weeks... Nova has smiled at me a few times (maybe 5 times?) and once at one of her brothers... never at her dad and she doesn’t smile everyday. I dont know if its a girl thing or just her personality... I am not too concerned... I have caught her smiling at the ceiling fan and the lion in her activity gym... cannot wait for more smiles!!!!

slr1229 · May 2018

@senora76 definitely a personality thing! I have a girl and she’s all smiles all the time and so was my first. They just do what they want!

megpeg · May 2018

I had a migraine last night and went to bed early and slept almost 8 hours without pumping. Ouch. A whole other kind of pain.

mccurleya · May 2018

My brother in law plays high school football and his first game is this Saturday. We plan on going but I'm wondering if it'll be too loud for Nate? I plan on wearing him to keep him comfortable. He doesn't seem to be bothered by noise, but those games have loud buzzers and whatnot. What do you guys think?

newmomtx06 · May 2018

@mccurleya can you use some of those baby noise canceling headphones? I think he could be fine without but just in case he gets a little over stimulated they could be helpful.

mccurleya · May 2018

@newmomtx06 I'll have to see if I can find some. I see him being annoyed with those on his head but it's worth a shot!

shoretobe · May 2018

@newmomtx06 have you used any noise cancelling headphones? How do you find they work?
@mccurleya I think at most fields there’s a place to stand away from the crowds and noise as a backup option to the headphones.
I can understand wondering about the buzzers/whistles/fans - I was thinking of taking Maeve to my work’s Memorial Day Parade, but I’m afraid the fire trucks will be too loud.

sgrn18 · May 2018

My MIL just told me to give LO cold water for his reflux because that's what helps her with her reflux....

uhhhh no..

newmomtx06 · May 2018

@shoretobe I bought some but have not used them yet. We are going to a friends game this weekend and I’m going to try them out for the first time! I will let you know how they go.

bexster05 · May 2018

Today I dropped off Jeffrey’s enrollment forms for daycare and he will start in 3 weeks. Do you have any tips to help adjust baby and mom to daycare? I’m having him start a week before I go back to work to hopefully help with my anxiety.

becausescience · May 2018

@bexster1224 Just know that it gets easier. I cried multiple times the first day I was back to work and DD was in daycare. The next day just a couple times. And then I was good. Our daycare also sent a few pictures those first days that helped me see she was doing fine. I also had DH call (I couldn't bc I'd just cry) to check on her too and give me updates.

maelily15 · May 2018

@bexster1224, I know how you feel! With my both girls, I started them a week early also. With DD1, First day was 2 hours, second day was four, third day was 6, and fourth and fifth days were 8 hours (my hubby dropped her off after I was at work so she was only there 7.5 hours a day). I cried the first couple days like @becausescience. The hardest part for me both times has been not having DD there for feeds- my milk supply is plummeting due to her not being at breast very often and stress. Some days will be better than others- I won’t lie, the working mommy guilt and separation anxiety (mine, not hers) is strong.
With this baby, since DD1 has been going to the same daycare for 1.5 years, I didn’t work up to it as much since I know and trust the providers. We still did a week before my return to work but she did two half days (3 and 4 hours respectively) and two full days. And while she was there, I didn’t stay at home and stare at the empty crib (like I did with DD1), I did lots of chores and meal prep and shopping to keep my mind off of missing my Luna.
Each child and parent will react differently. Some people find that regular updates ease their anxiety. For me, it was a double edged sword. If I didn’t get a regular update, I’d worry that something was wrong. So eventually I asked them to only contact me when something needed attention but now I stress when I see they’ve called or texted because I can’t always answer my personal phone right away. Definitely make sure they have your cell and work numbers so they can always reach you- it gave me peace of mind.
Good luck to both of you!

ashtuesday · May 2018

Found a used rocking chair and ottoman on Letgo for $20. ...does this ridiculously low price mean I'm going to be murdered?

sgrn18 · May 2018

@ashtuesday maybe just ups your chances of being murdered. Not a guarantee lol

I've been wanting to buy stuff off of our local trash to treasure but I'm so socially awkward I don't know if I could meet up with someone to get it.

becausescience · May 2018

@ashtuesday @sgrn18 I suggest meeting in a public place if possible. I've found some great deals on my local BST group.

mmom3 · May 2018

I agree on choosing a highly public place and let a few people know who you’re meeting when and get in contact with them following the transaction.

ashtuesday · May 2018

Ugh. The price was too good and she wanted to meet at her house, and could only meet after 8. You guys helped (rightfully) up my fear, so I turned the rocker down, and I live to shop another day!

mccurleya · May 2018

I finally got a real smile out of Nate! I am so happy

bexster05 · May 2018

Thanks @becausescience and @maelily15
I’m going to make an appointment to bring Jeffrey by next week so I can meet his teachers and ask the million new questions I have.

Yay @mccurleya smiles are the best.

maelily15 · May 2018

@bexster1224, you’ll always have questions for them- they’re used to it. I ask for a verbal report of the days activities every day because I’m likely to lose the written one or spill something on it. Hehe. I didn’t know ours can’t swaddle until I asked why she wasn’t napping well. We’ve used them since June 2016.

slr1229 · May 2018

Have 2 weeks left of leave and beginning to get emotional. It helps knowing we got through it with DD1 but still never easy. I have good friends at work but there are definitely people I don’t ever care to see again, especially our sales reps! My new promise to myself is to quit when first born starts kinder so I can be there for summers and breaks but I’m just hoping I can make it another year!

mccurleya · May 2018

Nate slept 7 hours last night. I woke up in a panic wondering why he hadn't woken me up yet at 6 hours. I checked his breathing about 5 times before I laid back down. He woke up an hour later to eat and went right back to sleep. I'm thankful for some rest but my goodness that was terrifying to go through for the first time.

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