@DDRRT1982 yup I know its because they don't want kids on the tour and I understand why. I think I felt annoyed because there weren't any options to solve the problem. if my baby could take a bottle then I would have been able to leave him with the babysitters...if that was the right thing to do. And nope, my husband couldn't attend without me. Unfortunately there was no way around it. Oh well.
My MIL drives me insane with her unsolicited advice and comments about what I should do for LO. Most things I've shut down pretty easily, I don't have much patience for her honestly. Something she does not stop bringing up is rice cereal. She tells me I should put it in a bottle so he sleeps longer or through the night. This isnt the first I've heard about this especially from people her age (early 60s). I mean this kinda just sounds like a lazy parenting hack?? Please correct me if I'm wrong but is there an actual purpose to rice cereal other than being a filler?
@sgrn18. Unsolicited MIL advice is annoying! I've heard, but not verified with pediatrician that it also helps with spit up as the food is heavier and stays down. That could be a wives tale for all I know though. Talk to your pediatrician about it and when the appropriate time to introduce.
It has to be an old people thing because my MIL and her mom are always suggesting I do that and that my breasts aren't giving him enough. I think we know our babies best
So... does anyone else's baby hate being swaddled? I never swaddled my first because he was a newborn during the summer and it was just too hot. But I've tried with my new guy and he'll put up with it for a couple of hours and then really freak out. I've tried arms in, arms out... hates them both. Is this a thing? Do some newborns (homeboy is 5 weeks) hate the swaddle, or am I just doing it wrong?
Oh! And @sgrn18... everything I've read said there's no proven benefit to adding rice cereal to bottles (and has the downside of adding a little more arsenic to the diet), but it definitely seemed to be part of the baby arsenal from an older generation. My mom just asked me if I was giving the baby water. Nope!
@Radishes yeah MIL wanted me to give him cold water because that's what helped with her reflux.. yeah no.
As for the swaddle, LO hated not having his arms free for a while so I had the halo sleep swaddle sack thing and he like it for a while. I started back up with the swaddle me velcro swaddle at about 7 weeks. The swaddle me has a bit more wiggle room in the hips which he really seems to like. He fights it for about 15 mins but if I rock him a while he passes out and stays asleep at night.
Hi ladies- chining in- I was always an old school swaddler taking the hospital blanket from the hospital and doing a traditional hospital swaddle untile they out grew it- did it with all 4 kids until a friend of mine just suggested the swaddle up which i just ordered and we are on night one of trying it and Nova seems to like it- she looks a bit like a cavtus tho!!! it is like a sleepsack but has their arms zipped in but up- ull have to google it to see what i mean... Only night one in but I’m a fan.
i have the WORST MIL ever, she actually makes me appreciate my first MiL and even my mother more. my own mom never breastfed us and put rice cereal in our formula at 2 WEEKS old so yes it was a thing... I was born in 1976 so clearly it is an outdated thing... My current MIL is only 18 years older than me and traveled from spain to stay with us for 3 weeks when Nova was a week old. She speaks no english and my spanish is particularly labored especially when I am upset. First off she refused AC and we are in california with 80+ degree days in spring, she refused windows, ceiling fans etc so it was hot iand stuffy indoors just adding fuel to the fire here. EVERYTHING i did she told me I did wrong, EVERYTIME i picked up the baby shed scream “cabeza” EVERYTIME id feed the baby shed tell me my milk was “como agua” (like water- that my milk was no good) she hated the swaddle because i was hurting my baby, she told me it wasnt notmal my baby cried in the evenings, she gave me crap with my older sons too even tho they arent her grandchildren... I love the way my older sons have turned out but she called me mean because my older kids do housework, clean their room, cook for themselves, etc. One of the last days I just yelled back in english “Look bitch I’m 41 years old and I’ve been a mother for 15 years - I dont’t need your sh*t advice- I am her mom and you are her grandma so know your damn role!” She didnt understand a word I said but it felt so good to get it out haha! She was no good cooking or cleaning and really rough with the baby... if she was at least loving and gentle to the baby I would have overlooked the fact that she lost and broke many things while “cleaning” and insulted our food and insulted our customary meal times. It was nothing but insults and negativity... I has just given birth was all sweaty and hormonal... just the worst!!! I am still not over it!!!!
We are going to Spain in July so I have to brace myself for round 2 - but we are staying at an airbnb this time... DH says it will break her heart, but there is no way I will be able to sleep on a twin bed in an 8x6 room with NO AC and no ventilation with DH and Nova for 2 weeks... I may have done that while pregnant but that’s not gonna fly this time!!!
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 That's the worst! Thank god for the slight language gap... although it's too bad you understand her. Did your husband try to talk to her about how crazy she was being? My mil is just regular baby boomer obnoxious (she called me a baby nazi. Twice. When I suggested that she find another word she said, "I don't know what else to call you."). And hey! Was born in 1976, too! Yay old moms!
So maybe I'll try a different swaddle. I've been using blankets and a 'miracle' swaddle that was handed down to me. There were also a few halos in the hand me down pile, so I'll try that and then look into the swaddles you guys suggested. We'll see how it goes!
@senora76 jeez! That sounds awful! I always hate when people say stuff like "well you guys turned out fine" like sure sure, should I paint the crib with lead paint too? I mean we turned out fine right?...ugh I'm glad you said something to her even if she didnt understand maybe she got your tone! Lol
My MIL has an array of health issues which she chooses to complain about but do nothing to help them. She's come down 2 or 3 times (they live about 3 hrs away) since LO was born saying she could help me by watching him while I get some stuff done around the house but she gets here sits in the dining room watching me clean, btching about whatever stupid thing is going on, and completely ignoring LO. One time she offered to watch him while I went to the store. I flat out told her no because I dont trust her. Shes the type of person who would go against my rules because she thinks she knows better.
@senora76 I'm so sorry your MIL is like that. Is she from northern spain? I hear they're meaner. Haha my grandma is from southern Spain and a saint. She complains about people from up north. I'm super jealous you're going there though, I wanna go back so bad!
@sgrn18 my MIL disregards everything we have said - plays by her own rules completely- the one and only time i left nova with her i was gone 15 min and I returned to her holding her in 2 heavy blankets bobbing her up and down hard and uncomfortable screaming ya ya ya ya in her face forcing a pacifier in her mouth hard... it was terrible. You are the mom if u get a bad vibe there is probably a good reason for it.
@mccurleya haha she has been in the north since 1979 but raised in Granada and thats all she talks about... My husband is very Catalan and identifies totally different than his southern parents. She is really really quite nasty about everything but I think shes a special case. A good friend of mine has a southern mother and she is absolutely lovely... go figure.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I have a stomach thing and am currently pumping sitting on the toilet. I don’t know how I am going to get through the day taking care of three kids with this but it has to be done. DH can’t take the day off because one of the other doctors did and my moms solution was to take the kids to her house an hour away. I wouldn’t care about the older two but I don’t have enough milk ahead to let Declan go and he will scream if she tries to give him formula and I love her but frankly don’t trust her judgement with him.
@megpeg I'd say let her come get the older two. It's the weekend, so maybe they can spend the night and give you a break. Taking care of one baby is going to be easier on you while you are sick. I hope you feel better.
They are all staying. My nine year old could run the house on his own if I needed- he knows how to do laundry, dishes and Declan adores him so he will be a big help. We will just do a movie day and chill.
Does anyone else's baby just want to be left alone sometimes? Nate doesn't like being held sometimes and is happy to just sit in hid bouncy seat and watch the fan or look around. I still feel guilty not interacting with him while he's awake but he gets upset with too much interaction. It's so odd to me
@mccurleya is it hot where you are? Sometimes my LO likes to sit in her swing when it’s hot - and sometimes she’s just happy and content being in her swing or on her activity Mat cooing to her toys or the ceiling fan. I think as adults sometimes we like our space when we’re over stimulated or hot or just need a minute so I’m thinking maybe it’s the same for babies too.
My babies are usually clingy, but I think it's really neat your kiddo can self pacify. I think that's so important and if I were you I wouldn't feel guilty about not constantly interacting.
Edit
To add to this discussion, Sam is already having separation anxiety. She started screaming bloody murder if anyone but me holds her. She isnt a cry baby usually, so this is new. I felt really bad for my mil who was really trying to give me a break and hang with her. She just wasn't having it.
I wonder if that's what my LO was doing today. He was perfect for me today but we went to my moms for a few hours and he would only let me or my sister hold him without crying (she comes over a lot so he is very used to her). My SIL tried to hold him and he hated it.
@mccurleya my little guy is like that too. He gets cranky and just wants to be in his swing by himself. I feel guilty sometimes but if I pick him up he gets mad.
It is in the 80s-90s here. I guess he does get hot. I'm the clingy one I guess. Haha I just want to snuggle all day. I guess it is good he can be independent
I just slept for 8 hours straight...during normal sleeping hours...for the first time in a year!! I'm paying for it with clogged engored breasts, but oh my...it was nice!! Hubby did his first overnight shift since I return to work tomorrow. He'll likely have a migraine unfortunately, but we now have to shift to our new reality.
DS slept a whole 6 hours last night from about 1030 to 430 this morning! Then went back to sleep from 530 til 9. I actually woke up at 4 because my boobs were leaking all over the place and I needed to pump bad. He's also about 2 hours deep in a really good nap right now.
I've had trouble getting him to nap for more than 30 mins at a time during the day. So 2 days in a row I've gotten awesome naps?! Someone pinch me!
My babe slept from 9:30 to 6am. Then 10 minute nap around 10am...and then 1:30 to 6pm! I got to hang some paintings up, cleaned the house a bit, and enjoyed some fruit and juice while watching Friends re-runs LOL.
Luna is pretty consistently sleeping through the night now. Over the last 2 weeks, she’s only had one night when she woke up for a MOTN feed before 5:30am. She usually goes down between 10-11pm. Apparently she hates to sleep at daycare (overstimulated, separation anxiety, and lack of swaddling are to blame) and she still cluster feeds in the morning for daddy while I’m at work so we usually just hang out and play in the evenings for a couple hours then she’ll feed and I’ll put her down.
It’s wrecked havoc on my BFing and milk supply because she usually won’t latch for her morning feed because she’s too hungry- so I only get one or two latches per day but gotta admit it’s good for me to be able to sleep through the night now I’m back to work.
Don't be nervous! It's over super quick and they only cry for a few seconds. That being said, it was harder on me than I thought it would be but he got lots of cuddles that day!
@mccurleya like others said it really isn’t that bad. However I felt like the needle was WAY too long. Jeffrey slept most of the day after.
I just dropped Jeffrey off at his first day of daycare....See how long I make it before giving in and picking him up. This week is a trial run and I don’t go back to work until next week.
I mentioned this earlier but I thought it was over (silly me). I have a problem getting LO to take a significant nap during the day. Some times I get 15 mins sometimes 45. Its like he is a cat napper. I feel when I do get him to take a good nap it's much easier to get him to sleep and he sleeps longer at night. I've tried putting him down for a nap the same way I put him to sleep at night but I still dont get any consistent nap. When he cat naps all day he wakes up at least 3 times at night but with a good nap he wakes up 1 time.
Any suggestions? I know I dont get to have a routine yet but I'd love to figure out a good way to get him to nap.
@sgrn18 - DD won’t nap well in the bassinet during the day even though she sleeps great in there overnight. She sleeps lonnnnng naps in the swing though. And it has to be a swing that goes side to side, not forward and back.
Have any of you had sex yet? How did you deal with the pain? Things started happening the other day and he slipped a finger and that was SO painful and I bled everywhere. Now I'm terrified to have sex again and don't even want to try...
@mccurleya I had a csection and I was still terrified to have sex. I barely had sex for the first time a few days ago and almost 11 weeks pp I really didnt even want to then but my husband has been really patient with me so I figured i just needed to rip off the bandaid.
As for the bleeding/pain, I would definitely call your doctor especially if it happens again. I'm not sure what could cause that kind of bleeding and pain but it doesn't sound pleasant. Maybe someone else who had a vaginal or has had a vaginal delivery will have better insight?
Re: May Randoms
As for the swaddle, LO hated not having his arms free for a while so I had the halo sleep swaddle sack thing and he like it for a while. I started back up with the swaddle me velcro swaddle at about 7 weeks. The swaddle me has a bit more wiggle room in the hips which he really seems to like. He fights it for about 15 mins but if I rock him a while he passes out and stays asleep at night.
i have the WORST MIL ever, she actually makes me appreciate my first MiL and even my mother more. my own mom never breastfed us and put rice cereal in our formula at 2 WEEKS old so yes it was a thing... I was born in 1976 so clearly it is an outdated thing... My current MIL is only 18 years older than me and traveled from spain to stay with us for 3 weeks when Nova was a week old. She speaks no english and my spanish is particularly labored especially when I am upset. First off she refused AC and we are in california with 80+ degree days in spring, she refused windows, ceiling fans etc so it was hot iand stuffy indoors just adding fuel to the fire here. EVERYTHING i did she told me I did wrong, EVERYTIME i picked up the baby shed scream “cabeza” EVERYTIME id feed the baby shed tell me my milk was “como agua” (like water- that my milk was no good) she hated the swaddle because i was hurting my baby, she told me it wasnt notmal my baby cried in the evenings, she gave me crap with my older sons too even tho they arent her grandchildren... I love the way my older sons have turned out but she called me mean because my older kids do housework, clean their room, cook for themselves, etc. One of the last days I just yelled back in english “Look bitch I’m 41 years old and I’ve been a mother for 15 years - I dont’t need your sh*t advice- I am her mom and you are her grandma so know your damn role!” She didnt understand a word I said but it felt so good to get it out haha! She was no good cooking or cleaning and really rough with the baby... if she was at least loving and gentle to the baby I would have overlooked the fact that she lost and broke many things while “cleaning” and insulted our food and insulted our customary meal times. It was nothing but insults and negativity... I has just given birth was all sweaty and hormonal... just the worst!!! I am
still not over it!!!!
We are going to Spain in July so I have to brace myself for round 2 - but we are staying at an airbnb this time... DH says it will break her heart, but there is no way I will be able to sleep on a twin bed in an 8x6 room with NO AC and no ventilation with DH and Nova for 2 weeks... I may have done that while pregnant but that’s not gonna fly this time!!!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
So maybe I'll try a different swaddle. I've been using blankets and a 'miracle' swaddle that was handed down to me. There were also a few halos in the hand me down pile, so I'll try that and then look into the swaddles you guys suggested. We'll see how it goes!
My MIL has an array of health issues which she chooses to complain about but do nothing to help them. She's come down 2 or 3 times (they live about 3 hrs away) since LO was born saying she could help me by watching him while I get some stuff done around the house but she gets here sits in the dining room watching me clean, btching about whatever stupid thing is going on, and completely ignoring LO. One time she offered to watch him while I went to the store. I flat out told her no because I dont trust her. Shes the type of person who would go against my rules because she thinks she knows better.
@sgrn18 my MIL disregards everything we have said - plays by her own rules completely- the one and only time i left nova with her i was gone 15 min and I returned to her holding her in 2 heavy blankets bobbing her up and down hard and uncomfortable screaming ya ya ya ya in her face forcing a pacifier in her mouth hard... it was terrible. You are the mom if u get a bad vibe there is probably a good reason for it.
@mccurleya haha she has been in the north since 1979 but raised in Granada and thats all she talks about... My husband is very Catalan and identifies totally different than his southern parents. She is really really quite nasty about everything but I think shes a special case. A good friend of mine has a southern mother and she is absolutely lovely... go figure.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I don’t know how I am going to get through the day taking care of three kids with this but it has to be done. DH can’t take the day off because one of the other doctors did and my moms solution was to take the kids to her house an hour away. I wouldn’t care about the older two but I don’t have enough milk ahead to let Declan go and he will scream if she tries to give him formula and I love her but frankly don’t trust her judgement with him.
Edit
To add to this discussion, Sam is already having separation anxiety. She started screaming bloody murder if anyone but me holds her. She isnt a cry baby usually, so this is new. I felt really bad for my mil who was really trying to give me a break and hang with her. She just wasn't having it.
I've had trouble getting him to nap for more than 30 mins at a time during the day. So 2 days in a row I've gotten awesome naps?! Someone pinch me!
It’s wrecked havoc on my BFing and milk supply because she usually won’t latch for her morning feed because she’s too hungry- so I only get one or two latches per day but gotta admit it’s good for me to be able to sleep through the night now I’m back to work.
I just dropped Jeffrey off at his first day of daycare....See how long I make it before giving in and picking him up. This week is a trial run and I don’t go back to work until next week.
Any suggestions? I know I dont get to have a routine yet but I'd love to figure out a good way to get him to nap.
Have any of you had sex yet? How did you deal with the pain? Things started happening the other day and he slipped a finger and that was SO painful and I bled everywhere. Now I'm terrified to have sex again and don't even want to try...
As for the bleeding/pain, I would definitely call your doctor especially if it happens again. I'm not sure what could cause that kind of bleeding and pain but it doesn't sound pleasant. Maybe someone else who had a vaginal or has had a vaginal delivery will have better insight?