Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
lisa2589
member
Re: Tell me how you really feel! (Rants w/o 3/26)
setting up maternity leave for DS was so different than now. HR sent me all the papers, I filled them out.. gave what I had to give to my dr.. and that was it. now I have to go through liberty mutual for the fmla and std (which I'm not even using std btw.. yet still have to go through the process). I just spent 45 mins getting transferred to about 4 people after I couldn't figure out what to do on their website. And all the intake girl did was get my name, SS #, due date, dr phone number, manager phone number and verify my address. and made it sound like nothing else needs done. some how this doesn't seem right. now I need to call HR again. grrr
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
Long version:
- Dogs out to pee 4 times (!) last night
- DD 3 times into our room, last time kicked me out of my own bed (too tired to argue)
- DH fighting with DD on second attempt to get into bed with us, resulted in all the lights on (Why does he do that?), DD standing on the bed, me stepping in (more on that in a minute) to calm her down, her bringing up our cat that passed, then asking everybody to come, and wanting to see her friends, a round of hiccups (5th time in 24 hours) and 3 bowls of cereal, an episode of Paw Patrol, a book a tuck in and then Goodnight! (estimated time 45 minutes at 1:30 am)
- A major fight with DH the night before about how to handle our 2.5 yo... he thinks me offering choices within reason is being her friend, but he is all about things his way, on his time, and it escalates SUPER fast into tears and anger, then we have an angry and crying and super defiant toddler. (FUN!) All while trying to get her to sleep or out the door. (Transitions, ammiright STMs?)
TL;DR - one tired mama at work, because... well, I got isht to do.
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
I agree with others on not wanting to do anything. I'm rejoicing that I don't need to be on the road for most of April since my company decided against bidding on a future job. Now I just need to think about all the crap I need to do around the house.
My rant today - I got the tDap shot on Friday. My left arm is so sore, and it's making sleeping on my side even more uncomfortable. Ugh.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
@doxiemoxie212 Good luck getting it done. I'm the same way. If I just don't want to do something, I sometimes cannot make myself do it, no matter how much it needs done.
@momac1919 FX for good results on the 3-hour!
@rnielsen321 I absolutely feel your bedtime struggles! Hang in there. It gets better (?) I am told.
AFM, if one more person jokes about me possibly housing two babies, I swear, I will unleash a verbal wrath, the likes of which would make sailors blush.
No, a-holes, there is only one in there. It's 2018, technology is pretty incredible, and after 28 weeks and four u/s, I am pretty sure that if there were more than one, I would know about it. F*** off.
I am already not feeling great about how gigantic I am, I don't need other people pointing it out.
@aharv77 @momac1919 good luck to you both on your 3 hours!
@rnielsen321 sorry to hear your sleep woes! I sure hope you have a chance to grab a nap maybe?
@mytinc I had a tDap in my right butt cheek last Wednesday, as I guess new protocol is butt or thigh now? Anyways, as if my hips needed anymore pain...but it was painful until late yesterday so a 4 days! So hang in there probably for a couple more days!
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Kinda wishing people would just not comment on my appearance at all. I'm just trying to keep a PMA and remind myself (begrudgingly) that pregnancy is a miracle and it's just for a few more months. Then I can (think about) get(ting) my body back.
Last week I had someone tell me "oh you're going to have a big baby!" Ummm he's actually in the lower 50% as of now but uhhh maybe? Idk, but glad to know you can tell from the outside.
Also have this middle aged Filipino lady I work with. I love love her, but she has no filter. Never has, never will, including the vagina/csection conversations. She used to ask me where I was hiding my bump daily. Now that I'm showing, she says ooooh you're getting so big! Every single week. Then backs it with "in the Philippines, telling women they have a big belly is a complement" Ok cool, I'll buy that, but does that mean you were dissing me my first 20 weeks of pregnancy?
Also have to rant about my cat that decided today to pee on the dog bed that is currently in the room that will be our nursery. All the baby stuff is in there and I spent a good 30 minutes frantically smelling everything to make sure she didn't pee anywhere else. I think the fact that we have outdoor cats getting into our yard is stressing her out. Idk what to do about it but if she starts peeing on more things, we're going to have a problem.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
AFM.... May be a little TMI but I requested DH help me trim up below a couple days ago. I felt like things needed to be groomed and allow for me to keep it drier down there. He had no problem with this so he took a little cuticle scissors to trim and straight up cut me down there! Now, I can't see but he claims it's just a"knick" but I can tell you it doesn't feel like a knick! Now I'm all paranoid about infections and what not so trying to keep it as clean and dry as possible. DH was beside himself and my heavy emotions felt betrayed by him lol. He meant well and has been like I'm so sorry I cut your vagina like 100x!
@stephcat421 I don't think it's baby related for us either, especially since she is much more MH's cat than mine. Also if you're up for it, I would definitely recommend a wax. I've been keeping regular with it while pregnant and feel so much better. Plus I hear it makes things easier post partum. If waxing is too painful, see if there's a place near you that does sugaring. I switched over the sugar a few years ago and it is much less painful. To be fair, I do have a pretty high tolerance for it since I've been getting Brazilians regularly since high school. But maybe once your cut heals, it could be worth looking into.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
not saying any of this will happen with yours! just a stressed cat related story since you mentioned stress from outside cats.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
also +1 to weight comments. Per my posts on the mental health thread, I had been losing weight and just wanted to be like, omg yeah it’s soooo cute and fun that I have to have multiple growth scans to make sure my baby is healthy! Here, try my method of panic attack’s and freauent vomiting!! I’m soooo lucky! F off! And now that I’m finally gaining weight, people comment on how big my belly has gotten and how pregnant I suddenly look, and I feel like Mrs. Shrek. Yes people, I am able to eat again. Please go away unless you have food.
DS born 9/24/2020
ONE BLANKET came in the mail. Call the customer service, the first representative hangs up on me because she keeps telling me I ordered with a gift card and I’m assuring her that it was actually a credit card and I want a refund. Get ahold of a different guy who finally tells me it’s sold out. He goes to check on it and it’s “really, really sold out” like not going to be restocked. Anyways, he did refund me the whole thing but now I’m back to square one on the snuggly blankie situation so grrr.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
https://www.facebook.com/thescarymommy/posts/10155873710233301