Tell me how you really feel! (Rants w/o 3/26) - Page 3 — The Bump
June 2018 Moms

Tell me how you really feel! (Rants w/o 3/26)

13

Re: Tell me how you really feel! (Rants w/o 3/26)

  • @sabby2 it is a weird thing to notice! Like, are they trying to see if there is trouble between you and YH? 
    "She's pregnant, but there's no wedding ring so things must be on the rocks." 
    I have family members who would think that *insert eye roll* 
  • @May14th2011 ppl really put TOO much into something that is just a symbol. At our housewarming 3 years ago, I cleaned my ring before getting in the shower and put it in a paper towel to dry. Well DH thinking he was helping started tidying up and accidentally threw my engagement ring away. (We found it later in the trash still neatly wrapped in the paper towel) I went the whole party without and one of DH’s friends told his other friends I was “tripping” and mad bc I didn’t have my ring on. Yeah no. I like my ringa safely in their boxes where they can’t get lost or damaged. 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
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  • @momac1919 yeah, not cool.  Is the weekend set in stone?  During my first pregnancy, my husband was not allowed to travel from 36 weeks on.  This time, he has to pick up a bassinet from his cousin at 37 weeks and is staying the night, but it's really only 3 hours away.  That still makes me nervous.  Why can't they wait until the fall?
    momac1919
  • @momac1919 I'm glad you'll have your sister with you while he's gone. That is still super-annoying, though. I'm sorta annoyed with YH's brother, too. Who does that? Just books flights and non-refundable deposits before YH can check with you. Not cool, bro.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    ramennoodlegif2589doxiemoxie212stephcat421
  • @momac1919 +1 to YH's brother is an idiot. I'm glad you have figured out a plan that will work but who books that kind of stuff without getting confirmation. 

    I'm just saying that YH better get you a really nice push present. You are handling this much better than I would. 
    Me & MH: 31 │ DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures bilateral grade 2 ventricular hemorrhage)


    ramennoodlegif2589stephcat421
  • Rant: last night was the most pain & discomfort I felt all pregnancy so far. I’m actually still laying in bed even though I was supposed to be up an hour ago (I wish I could call in sick but its s temp job). I volunteered (a month ago) to judge a moot court at my old school. After working all day, taking the long pot hole filled way to the school (kind of lodged him into my lung) and being there for 4 hours I could barely walk by the time I left. My feet were swollen to mass proportions, i had to walk on the outside edge. My stomach felt so heavy and my back ached. No more outtings for me just work, class on Thursday & home. 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
    LaceyBee522kmurdock9252589stephcat421
  • 25892589
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    So I’m clearly not a car expert, but something whacky has been going on with the passenger side doors for about 2 months. I can click unlock on my key fob or inside the driver’s door, and either the front or rear passenger door will intermittently look like it’s unlocked but won’t actually be able to open the door. DD’s car seat is on the driver side, but obviously it’s a huge concern because I’ll need to install another car seat on the passenger side in the next 6 weeks or so. Kind of hard to do when the door randomly won’t physically open. 

    Long story short they think the rear door latch has completely failed as that was the door that wouldn’t open at the time I took it in to the dealership to get looked at. It’s a 2012 but still has some extended warranty left. They ordered the part in and are scheduled to complete the repair at 1:00 today. However this morning I went to get some things out of my car, lo and behold the front door now won’t open (which they told me they took apart and looked fine) and the back door opens like a charm (which they told me wouldn’t be able to open until they repaired it as the door latch “has completely failed”). It feels like much more of an electrical or wiring issue than a mechanical issue to me as it switches which door won’t work so randomly. 
    My vehicle is paid off. I can’t afford to finance a new vehicle 2 months before baby comes. They better be able to figure out WTF is wrong. 


    Pregnancy Ticker
    doxiemoxie212LaceyBee522stephcat421
  • doxiemoxie212doxiemoxie212
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited March 2018
    @2589 dude, cars are crazy. My mom has a.... 2002? subaru outback (which she has had since 2002), and in like 2007 I think? the driver's side window just wouldn't go back up after being rolled down unless she brought it to the mechanic. So she just stopped using her driver's side window at all for years because she didn't want to pay to get it fixed since they said it would cost so much to permanently fix it. Literally eight or nine years later, DH was driving it while we were visiting and accidentally rolled the window down. My mom panicked, but then DH just rolled the window back up. And it has worked ever since. Like was it broken that whole time? Did it fix itself? Was it never broken? WHO KNOWS??

    All that to say, I hope they figure it out.  :D
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    2589amys614stephcat421kmurdock925
  • 25892589
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    @doxiemoxie212 freaky! It’s all so mysterious! Like what makes it so hard is that I realize what I’m telling them is so subjective.... sometimes this door works fine, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes it’s the other door... I can’t establish any kind of pattern... Ugh. Just get it to work, please!


    Pregnancy Ticker
    doxiemoxie212
  • @2589 I swear some cars are haunted. In college I had a horrific Dodge Neon that would break and un-break itself at random. It was the scariest thing to drive because I never knew if the say, the accelerator and/or the brakes would just stop working on the interstate. I hope they can figure out what the issue is!
    Me: 34 
    Husband: 35
    Married: June 2007
    Son Max born 1/10/17
    BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
    doxiemoxie2122589
  • Well, I finally got the "tuition" flyer from the daycare near our (potential) new apartment. I thought it would be cheaper, since we're moving out of Manhattan. Lolz! It is going to cost $2,750 per month, per child - oh, but a 10% discount on one of the kids.

    On to plan B...gotta do the nanny. Hoping I can find a nanny share. I know kids are expensive, but this is painful. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    aharv77doxiemoxie2122589kmurdock925
  • @LaceyBee522 yikes!! Hopefully you can find a nanny that's more reasonable than that. I feel so bad for you and @doxiemoxie212 having to deal with crazy NYC prices. I'm definitely happy to not have to deal with the southern California cost of living anymore. 
    Me 28 Him 28
    Married August 2015
    DS born 5/23/2018
    BFP #2 12/6/2018 EDD 7/26/2019


    stephcat421LaceyBee522kmurdock925
  • I had a delicious cookie at lunch today.

    My blood sugars are reminding me of the fact.
    stephcat421izza2
  • @LaceyBee522 @Amphibious22 Part of the reason I started freelancing is because we knew we wanted to have kids, and there would be literally no point in me working full time with how much daycare costs here and how much my salary was. Especially when you factor in that most daycares here are 9-5/6pm, and they charge you $8-10/minute you are late. So you're 10 minutes late? Congratulations, you just spent $80-100. And DH/my jobs are/were not 9-5 jobs (try 8-8 jobs with a fuck ton of travel on my end). So then you have to find a daycare with early and late hours and pay that extra fee, or get a nanny on top of the daycare. I think nannies can be cheaper if you go the under the table route, but DH works on govt projects so he can't really agree to something like that. Most of the women I worked with ended up with live-in nannies because it was the only thing that made any kind of sense, but they were also a lot more senior than I was and thus were making $150k/year minimum which I did not. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    stephcat421Amphibious22LaceyBee522
  • @LaceyBee522 @doxiemoxie212
    Have either of you considered an au pair? They cost a lot up from (filing fees, agency fees, etc) but the bulk of the cost is in the beginning and it really levels out over 2 years to be worth it. And unlike most nannies you can pick their schedule 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
    LaceyBee522mytinc
  • @ffw0617 Definitely not for me under any circumstances (we only have two bedrooms, and colleagues who have done it say it's sorta madness because you get sent this like 18-year-old who has never been to the US before, and they can only work 40 hours/week, and so you end up needing daycare and the au pair because of what counts as work when they're home with you), but I'll be a SAHM until I feel like freelancing again, so my thoughts on it are sort of irrelevant. I make more money working way fewer hours freelancing, so I can't say I am in any rush to ever go back to full-time. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • As an immigration attorney ive always viewed au pairs as fascinating & would love to have basically a built in nanny who can also teach my children other languages at home. Biggest down fall (for me) is its almost always a young college age woman, and i just have all the fears of a young woman constantly around my husband (whose self employed & works from home). 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • @LaceyBee522 Holy cannoli. That's about five months worth of daycare where my two go. Then again, cost of living where I am is well below the national average. I just checked out a cost of living calculator and I would have to make more than double what I do now in order to live in NYC. 
    Me: 36; DH: 35
    Started Dating 2002; Married 2008

    BFP 8/1/13 - MC (Blighted Ovum) 8/19/13
    DD  7/14
    DS1 8/16
    BFP 9/7/17 - CP 9/11/17
    DS2 6/18
    LaceyBee522
  • krash_krash_
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited March 2018
    @LaceyBee522 True, June is the best! But if they have a check in tread I don't think it would be weird to just participate in that thread. 

    ETA: it sucks that May is already a dead zone because you might end up delivering in May anyway. 
    Me & MH: 31 │ DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures bilateral grade 2 ventricular hemorrhage)


    LaceyBee522stephcat421
  • @LaceyBee522 I was sort of mad on your behalf because the MoMs in may actually are due in June but just chose to be part of may instead since they’ll deliver in may? I don’t know. I wish you had a MoM team here. I’ve stalked the MoM threads in other bmbs (march particularly), and it really is a different experience. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    LaceyBee522izza22589
  • @LaceyBee522 I have three twin moms on my other BM group. I think they have found some groups on Facebook. Let me ask them what they are and I will report back. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
    LaceyBee5222589
  • @doxiemoxie212 I know, riiiiight? I definitely hope I can keep these two cooking into June. 

    @Austenista Thank you! :) 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    doxiemoxie212
  • @LaceyBee522 you definitely don't sound ungrateful or whiney! Preparing for twins would be HARD and your feelings are definitely justified. 
    LaceyBee522
  • I will return to read all of your rants, and I've talked about this before BUT PEOPLE WHO SAY I SHOULD HAVE MORE THAN ONE CHILD NEED TO FUCK OFF!!!

    Some people I can respond a little different to. My mum's friend said "oh you're an only child, you wouldn't want her to be one" - which is a common thing said.
    I just keep saying "Yeh. It was magical. I didn't have to share fuck all and everything for meeeee!"

    Depending on my mood, it depends on my response. My dad passed away and now his sister is only one who would have to deal with everything for my nana. I mean rest of family would step in to help where we can, but technically she's doing it all as an 'old child'

    MIL tagged something to us about kids and science - my H is a huge pusher of kids in science - and he accidentally said 'they'
    We have previously mentioned they shouldn't hold their breath on 2nd child.
    I swear if sFIL or MIL mention about having another grandchild, I will direct them to my H's brother {who is not currently in a position or desire to have kids} and explain they have another child to get a grandchild one and they are 100% more than welcome to spoil our pets as well. Grandfurries as I refer to them as.

    I'm still glad my own mother is understanding of my non-want to do this again.

    Once again .... kudos to you ladies with more than one kid. I commend you greatly.
    LaceyBee522kmurdock925stephcat421MoonOverGoldsboro
  • @LaceyBee522 there’s no requirement you provide them with food or transportation (esp in nyc) just shelter, $200 week and $500 towards school per semester. The point of the program isn’t for the au pair to actually make money, the $200 a week is basically survival cash. They are expected to live like a college student (which is broke for the most part). And the 40 hours you decide when that 40 occurs unlike daycare. My former boss has a russian au pair, shes not on the clock until 10am when mom leaves, and shes off when husbands arrives home at 4:30. They have enough time left to use her one weekend day. Remember its a teenager/ college student shes not going to want to just hang around your house when shes not working, she’ll be out doing typical college student things. People with more than one kid are the ones who benefit most bc the cost doesn’t increase per child.  But I understand if you don’t have room. 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • @ffw0617 when I was a college student in nyc at NYU I spent a lot of time sitting around in my dorm watching shows on my laptop sooo (and I’d say that’s common of college kids in nyc bc the city is expensive and there arent campus activities) 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @doxiemoxie212 either way there’s interviews and orientations before selecting an au pair, so just pick one that’s a little more social and has hobbies that require getting out the house. And they’re supposed to be at least part time students (not online- bc you don’t need to come to the US to do that) so at some point they should be attending classes & studying. And more importantly, they should be networking & socializing bc they probably won’t want to leave the US so they’ll need a job or spouse to sponsor them in the future. 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • @LaceyBee522 ; I did my budet with the approx e.i amount while on mat leave, then with today's income when I return back.
    I can't imagine with 2, one has my jaw dropped. I totally understand the "knowing vs seeing" feeling. We get a Child Care Benefit amount per month, but that depends on your income through taxes. {ie; less income, more CCB} and since that can/will flux I didn't wanna include it .... but I swear .....
    LaceyBee522kmurdock925
  • A few years ago I became friends with an au pair in my small rural town (she was the only au pair in town as far as I know).  She was early twenties, from Bosnia, and working for a family with 2 young girls.  I helped her learn how to drive as they didn't help her with that but wanted her to have a license so she could drive the girls around.  In the long run she and that family weren't very compatible and she relocated to a family in the New Jersey area.  We still keep in touch.

    She was not a college student and was not taking classes, so I think it depends on the program.  Here's some info on the program.  https://www.aupairinamerica.com/fees/ 

     Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    First Son - born 2013
    Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV).  First open heart surgery at 5 days old.  He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing.
    Third Son - due June 9, 2018
  • @mytinc not program visa type. Someone whose not in school is just you sponsoring a temp nanny. 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • edited March 2018
    So, I went in for my Rhogam this morning and ended up having to wait half-an-hour (I presume they were waiting for my lab results, since they were sent to an outside company) before ever going back. The woman giving the shot confirmed they did get my labs, but she was not privy to the results of my glucose screen and they would call me later. Well, not only is it Good Friday, but they close early anyway, so the odds of my finding anything out today are slim. When I took it with DS1, they said they would call if it didn't look good and after a week, I assumed I was in the clear, but was not.
    I don't really care about results; I just want to know whether or not I have to start planning 6 daily snacks/meals for the next 12 weeks sos I can get a jump on it.
    Why does pregnant life seemingly always revolve around food?

    ETA: I emailed the OB nurse; she is on vacation until the 9th. Gah!!!!!! If her fill-in does not call me today, then I will just have to make this weekend my last hurrah.
    Me: 36; DH: 35
    Started Dating 2002; Married 2008

    BFP 8/1/13 - MC (Blighted Ovum) 8/19/13
    DD  7/14
    DS1 8/16
    BFP 9/7/17 - CP 9/11/17
    DS2 6/18
    2589kmurdock925izza2
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