Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Shower Thread
Maybe it's better you don't have photos? Can you pretend it didn't happen or only the better parts happened?
On a positive note, at least you won't have to do it again anytime soon, and I'm sure you looked amazing.
Don't let it get you down. People generally don't know how to act at showers, so try not to take it personally.
+1 to YH stepping up
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
My shower went pretty good overall. I arrived about 15 minutes after start and to my surprise all our guests were there, about 50 in total! I was cheered as I came in so that wasn't awkward at all lol.
Anyways, my mom(who was on as good of behavior as she knows yesterday, yay) was in charge of flowers and had gotten my a "corsage" which was really a boutenier so my DH handy but particular aunt spent like ten minutes holding on to my in the doorway turning it into a wrist corsage so the pin wouldn't rip my dress which I appreciated but was a really inopportune time to put of my guests.
After that was resolved, I made my ways for the better part of an hour to say hi and thank you to everyone. I fully expected I'd have more time to catch up with most people. Most of them were eating when I came around so I was awkwardly standing over them with their mouths opened so.... But nevertheless, I greeted EVERYONE and vetted the same questions time and time again but fully expected I guess.
We received most of our big items from the registry (crib, stroller, car seat etc) and most of the other items though not necessarily from our registry. So for example, we would register for a certain bed sheet but didn't get the one we registered for but received a comparable which isn't a biggie to me because nothing struck me as hideous or out of bounds so overall good stuff. I think all we really need is a mattress, mattress pads, baby gates/safety stuff which isn't necessary for newborn but would've nice to get a jump start on, and a pack n play. We received very few dups, only rock n play, and nose frida... Oh and quite a few duplicate books but oh well. I'd say at least half bought not on registry items so I'm really surprised at such few duplicate items! We also included a diaper raffle so we've got a good start to a diaper stash.
Overall, it was nice but mostly occupied with DH and I opening gifts so I was so worried for the enjoyment of our guests the whole time! I kept apologizing to them for the long haul. Then when gifts wrapped DH and I said that's it, and all guests immediately starting leaving! I was like omg not that's it y'all get going, just that's it for gifts. It was too late, most were already in coats and saying goodbyes. Then some family that was helping with set up and cleanup started breaking down tables and making all the cleanup commotion pretty much forcing anyone that would want to stay out.
I'm overall really grateful for the experience and more excited than ever for our son to come! Now comes the full preparation mode. Sorry I don't have better bump pics on my pink blush, DH kindly kept holding my belly so this is best I've got! And I'm sorry I don't have pics right now of the venue, setup, guests, food etc they are of course supposed to be coming in next days... Maybe? But grabbed a shot of the loot in our rec room. Looking forward to hearing all your experiences!
Glad to hear your H was in a good mood
@stephcat421 sounds like you had a lovely time! You & your H look so happy and looks like you got a lot of great things! Doesn’t it feel so much more real now that all the things are in your home??
@stephcat421 you look great! It looks like you made out with quite the haul too :-)
@stephcat421 I'm so glad you have a more uplifting shower experience to share in this thread so it's not so doom and gloom - this should be a happy thread!
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@doxiemoxie212 sorry you felt kinda ignored. I’m sure you looked great the guest of honor is supposed to dress better than everyone else. I hate that they included that book poem on the invites (stop trying to be cute, this is supposed to be helpful not cutesy). Its really hard being the first to do stuff. My bridal shower my MOH asked each BM for $20 to help cover the food (the venue & decoration was free bc it was at my aunts church and they have everything imagining already- her and my uncle are the pastors) no one chipped in the $20, my dad found out the day of that his daughters/ my sisters contibuted nothing (3 of the 9 BMs) so he gave my MOH $200. My bachelorette got cancelled the week of bc everyone except my MOH and one friend backed out in the last 2 weeks, and the hotel cost was being shared so I didn’t think it was fair that they had to absorb all the cost for everyone who dropped out (i paid for my own plane ticket so I Im the one who lost the most). A couple of my friends think I’m joking, but when they get married my answer to being in their wedding is a hard NO (except my MOH/ best friend). That includes my own sisters. I paid for everything: dress, makeup, lodging, jewelry. All they had to do was get to the wedding. I’d never do it again. It’s probably better if they dont have kids for another decade bc it’ll give you time to forget this bc its been 2 years for me and I’m still bitter.
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
@stephcat421 your dress was so pretty. So glad your shower turned out nicely- and that your mom behaved herself. Your baby gear score looks great too!
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
@doxiemoxie212 sorry it turned out so crappy. but I love how your hubs handled it all. and atleast its all behind you.
@stephcat421 looks like a good turn out! you look great! annnnd I love that carseat/stroller set.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
https://m.buybuybaby.com/m/product/fisher-price-reg-windmill-on-the-go-baby-dome/1060111968?skuId=60111968&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_general_online&product_id=60111968&product_channel=online&adtype=pla&adpos=1o2&creative=87521942940&device=m&matchtype=&network=g&mrkgadid=3008040697&mrkgcl=611&rkg_id=h-7bf47fe0be1946321452404748924ba7_t-1522083669&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtOLVBRCZARIsADPLtJ1d98CvKCM86bJK5lDm6KQ-yoJOydFhVOnFCW7a2oCKaqbH1S_Ac1IaAj1JEALw_wcB
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
@stephcat421 omg those gifts!! You got so many crucial things!!! And you look gorgeous in that dress! I'm glad it was a good shower, even if it sounds like it could've been a little longer to give you more time with your guests.
Edit- typos everywhere
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
I didn't have a shower at all, but it didn't really bother me. I have never even attended one because I left before most people in my age group were starting that phase, so possibly I don't quite understand what I'm missing. I mean, hearing how many big-ticket items a lot of you are getting does make me a wee bit jealous! Also that I order things off friends' registries but never received anything for my son (but didn't register, so...).
I don't need much stuff this time around. Just some cute girl outfits and am considering a bakfiets (bike with a big crate in front; big enough to strap in kids, groceries, etc.), which will set us back around 2k euros. Ouch. We also need to get a toddler bed for my son so baby girl can take his crib, and a little stroller add-on so he can hitch a ride on it sitting or standing once she's here.
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
Funny story, my SIL ran out of size 1 diapers for my 7 week old niece. She had size 3 for my nephew and was just going to put her in one of those. My sister overheard her and my brother saying this and pointed out we just got diapers from the shower. My SIL felt bad but my niece would have had a poop explosion in a size 3 so we opened our brand new box of diapers to give her some.
AW photos:
My sister and I
Food!
Before
After
Unrelated, but the aforementioned 7 week old niece
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby