June 2018 Moms

Shower Thread

24

Re: Shower Thread

  • @doxiemoxie212 I am sorry you had to pay $250+ to feel uncomfortable and not really get anything that you needed. After seeing that you got mostly books, why would people think you had everything you needed?!?!?! "Gee, I needed all of the things I REGISTERED FOR and you see how that turned out, so..."
    Maybe it's better you don't have photos? Can you pretend it didn't happen or only the better parts happened?
    On a positive note, at least you won't have to do it again anytime soon, and I'm sure you looked amazing.
    Don't let it get you down. People generally don't know how to act at showers, so try not to take it personally. 
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  • @doxiemoxie212 Sorry to hear you had such a rough time :( That's annoying about the lounge. Not just for spending the money, but for having crashers. I mean if you knew ahead of time there was a fee, would you have had an issue?
    Glad to hear your H was in a good mood :) That probably helped you a bit.
  • @doxiemoxie212 I’m really bummed about your experience. It is definitely hard being the first in the friends group to take these different steps in life. I was lucky to have several girl “Mom friends” but DH had a very rude awakening with his particular friend group when we became parents and it was a big struggle. I’m glad that your H was able to take some of the pressure off of you with his good attitude! 

    @stephcat421 sounds like you had a lovely time! You & your H look so happy and looks like you got a lot of great things! Doesn’t it feel so much more real now that all the things are in your home??


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @doxiemoxie212 I'm sorry your shower wasn't the best.  At least it's over, you can move forward, and you don't have to worry about it anymore.

    @stephcat421 you look great! It looks like you made out with quite the haul too :-) 


  • @2589 YES!  It feels so much more real!  I was so exhausted but couldn't help myself to at least unpackage all the items and lay them out to get the organization started!
  • @MissKittyDanger If we'd known about the fee ahead of time, I probably would have told the hosts "you can host it here, but it costs $250" and they either would have paid for it, or decided on another location (no idea where that could've been, though). So maybe shower wouldn't have happened at all. But finding out about it day-of, I just felt too bad telling any of them about it, so only my BFF and mom knew, and my BFF had already spent so much money, and my mom can't afford it, so DH and I paid. 

    @stephcat421 I'm so glad you have a more uplifting shower experience to share in this thread so it's not so doom and gloom - this should be a happy thread!  :D You look super cute in that pic! 
  • @stephcat421 I'm glad everything turned out so nicely. The pic of you and YH is great and check out all that loot! 
  • @stephcat421 looks like you got a lot of really useful stuff! Glad it went well and you look great! 
    *TW LC*
    Me & MH: 32
    DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
    TTC #2: 12/2019
    Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
    Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
    Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18

  • @stephcat421 looks like a successful shower. 

    @doxiemoxie212 sorry you felt kinda ignored. I’m sure you looked great the guest of honor is supposed to dress better than everyone else. I hate that they included that book poem on the invites (stop trying to be cute, this is supposed to be helpful not cutesy). Its really hard being the first to do stuff. My bridal shower my MOH asked each BM for $20 to help cover the food (the venue & decoration was free bc it was at my aunts church and they have everything imagining already- her and my uncle are the pastors) no one chipped in the $20, my dad found out the day of that his daughters/ my sisters contibuted nothing (3 of the 9 BMs) so he gave my MOH $200. My bachelorette got cancelled the week of bc everyone except my MOH and one friend backed out in the last 2 weeks, and the hotel cost was being shared so I didn’t think it was fair that they had to absorb all the cost for everyone who dropped out (i paid for my own plane ticket so I Im the one who lost the most). A couple of my friends think I’m joking, but when they get married my answer to being in their wedding is a hard NO (except my MOH/ best friend). That includes my own sisters. I paid for everything: dress, makeup, lodging, jewelry. All they had to do was get to the wedding. I’d never do it again. It’s probably better if they dont have kids for another decade bc it’ll give you time to forget this bc its been 2 years for me and I’m still bitter. 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • @ffw0617 I know you have mentioned that you used to be on wedding wire as well and this thread reminds me of the BAM (back and married) posts excpet like BAS (back and showered). Its definitely an opportunity to AW away so we can all ooo and ahh at the pretty dresses, food and gifts but also a safe space to vent about how things didn't go according to plan or how you would have liked them to. 
    *TW LC*
    Me & MH: 32
    DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
    TTC #2: 12/2019
    Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
    Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
    Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18

  • @krashke lived for BAM & BAS on Mondays. I actually hate traditional weddings, I’m a sucker for a beautiful elopement and engagement stories. 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • @stephcat421 You look adorable! Love love love that dress on you! I might have to copy for my own shower! It sounds like you had a big crowd. That's great! Also, in your loot picture, what is that round "pack and play" looking thing with the roof over it? It looks really cool. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • jsl82jsl82 member
    @doxiemoxie212 sorry your shower was such a bust... DH and I moved out of NYC when we decided to have kids, as did so many of our friends (and all of us have left the state now as well).  It is hard watching your friendships dissolve, but hopefully you will find that the friendships just change with some of your friends and not completely dissolve.  It sounds like your BFF will be a lifelong friend, though she is already a long distance friend.  Did your friends write in the books or will you be able to exchange some of them for store credit to go towards the items you actually need?  Did you get any copies of the Marlon Bundo book?  

    @stephcat421 your dress was so pretty.  So glad your shower turned out nicely- and that your mom behaved herself.  Your baby gear score looks great too!  
    me 35/ DH 39
    married 8/22/2015
    BFP#1- 4/2014 edd 1/1/15 mmc/d&c 6/2014
    BFP#2- 10/2015 edd- 6/29/2016 mmc/ d&c 12/2015
    BFP#3- 4/30/2016 DD1 12/27/16
    BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18

  • @jsl82 No one wrote in the books, but no one gave us gift receipts either, so I have no idea where they were purchased from lol. And no Marlon Bundo book! Alas. (And yes, my BFF and I are friends from preschool, so it is a very long term friendship at this point :)
  • @doxiemoxie212 sorry it turned out so crappy. but I love how your hubs handled it all. and atleast its all behind you.

    @stephcat421 looks like a good turn out! you look great! annnnd I love that carseat/stroller set.

    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • @LaceyBee522 thank you so much! I felt really quite comfortable and as confident as I could be! The circular thing is called the on the go baby dome! It is really just like you mentioned almost like a smaller pack n play and the dome closes entity to shade but there is screening on sides for venting. Here's a link, check it out....I foresee it getting used a lot for a summer baby :)

    https://m.buybuybaby.com/m/product/fisher-price-reg-windmill-on-the-go-baby-dome/1060111968?skuId=60111968&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_general_online&product_id=60111968&product_channel=online&adtype=pla&adpos=1o2&creative=87521942940&device=m&matchtype=&network=g&mrkgadid=3008040697&mrkgcl=611&rkg_id=h-7bf47fe0be1946321452404748924ba7_t-1522083669&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtOLVBRCZARIsADPLtJ1d98CvKCM86bJK5lDm6KQ-yoJOydFhVOnFCW7a2oCKaqbH1S_Ac1IaAj1JEALw_wcB
  • jsl82jsl82 member
    @doxiemoxie212 you may want to try to return to a baby store for store credit without a gift receipt.  Usually store credit without a receipt is standard (no cash back) but since you have to buy the stuff you need- it would be worth the store credit. I know I was able to exchange a lot of baby clothes for store credit after my shower with DD (I ended up spending an additional $100 .  
    me 35/ DH 39
    married 8/22/2015
    BFP#1- 4/2014 edd 1/1/15 mmc/d&c 6/2014
    BFP#2- 10/2015 edd- 6/29/2016 mmc/ d&c 12/2015
    BFP#3- 4/30/2016 DD1 12/27/16
    BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18

  • @jsl82 I guess I could try that... I feel a little guilty since I'm 99% certain none of these books came from baby stores (one is the new Bachelor Nation book...). 
  • @catlady1215 thank you!  Boy, those strollers/carseats are complicated business.  The thread we helped definitely helped particularly when it came making the weight of the systems and possible terrain factors.  I ended up going with the Graco SnugRide SnugLock DLX Car Seat in Holt (which is the black and white striped design---hello baby eye and brain stimulation!)  The stroller was the Graco Modes Click Connect Stroller in Holt.  It maneuvers like a dream, is all very lightweight and converts to a lot of options.  Plus folds and opens with one button so we are hopeful it'll a good fit for us!
  • Amphibious22Amphibious22 member
    edited March 2018
    @doxiemoxie212 I was so hoping you would magically have a wonderful shower, and I'm sorry it ended up being exactly like you thought it would. I guess if you can't return any books, maybe your daughter will grow up to be a voracious reader?? Also I'm really glad YH stepped up to try and make it as positive as possible. I bet that helped a lot. And on the plus side, now that it's over, you don't have to stress about it anymore. 

    @stephcat421 omg those gifts!! You got so many crucial things!!! And you look gorgeous in that dress! I'm glad it was a good shower, even if it sounds like it could've been a little longer to give you more time with your guests. 

    Edit- typos everywhere
    Me 30 Him 30
    Married
     August 2015
    DS born 5/23/2018
    TTC #2 July 2020



  • @doxiemoxie212 Well, that kind of baby shower trainwreck is more what I'd expect abroad when Americans assume everyone knows how to do a baby shower, but it isn't part of the local tradition so things go cray. Color me surprised that this happened to you in NYC. It must indeed be that "first syndrome" where the hosts just don't understand what it's like to be in your shoes yet. Unfortunate that this was not a financial or productive help and really highlighted the different directions some of your friends are headed. But cupcakes! And friends and family who love you enough to trek it over!

    I didn't have a shower at all, but it didn't really bother me. I have never even attended one because I left before most people in my age group were starting that phase, so possibly I don't quite understand what I'm missing. I mean, hearing how many big-ticket items a lot of you are getting does make me a wee bit jealous! Also that I order things off friends' registries but never received anything for my son (but didn't register, so...). 

    I don't need much stuff this time around. Just some cute girl outfits and am considering a bakfiets (bike with a big crate in front; big enough to strap in kids, groceries, etc.), which will set us back around 2k euros. Ouch. We also need to get a toddler bed for my son so baby girl can take his crib, and a little stroller add-on so he can hitch a ride on it sitting or standing once she's here.
  • @ffw0617 true! Like, “Oh yay we finally get to have a baby shower for someone! All aboard!” And then months later, “Oh wait, we have no clue what we’re doing and it doesn’t sound that exciting anymore..”


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @=caenis= when DH and I were in Amsterdam last year, I was fascinated by all the bike configurations for kids. I'd see ones with like 3 child seats plus the adult seat plus a wagon. Strong legs! Good balance! lol
  • @doxiemoxie212 There's some crazy bike gear here! Some of the higher end ones have electric motors so you don't struggle to peddle around with all that cargo...but that seems like a wasted exercise opportunity to me! So far I have a baby seat on the front part of my bike (for approx age 1-3), and my partner just got a child's seat for the back of his bike (for approx age 2-6). The problem is that it isn't safe to stick a baby in a bike seat until they can truly support their own heads, which is 9 months to 1 year. So using our bikes to get to the creche would be impossible at first, plus we will need to take TWO kids now. And using the stroller is so so so slow compared to the bike. They do have bikes with the big crate/wagon in front where you can snap in a car seat, and transport multiple kids, which sounds really convenient. 
  • @krashke I’m so glad to hear the shower went well. You look fantastic!! It sounds like it was a great time!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @krashke you look so cute! Glad everything came together well. Looks like it was a lot of fun! 
  • @krashke glad it went well! You look great!
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • @krashke you look stunning. Glad you had a fun shower. Mom sharing of diapers is a sacred practice and you got a head start! :) 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @krashke looks like a wonderful shower! You look beautiful and so happy!
  • @krashke you look beautiful! I’m glad everything went well. Now you get to organize the nursery!
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