Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Weekly Randoms (Week of 3.19)
@Llamamama14 if I slept on my stomach when breastfeeding I’d have milk leakage all over my sheets. I so miss it though!
Guys, I made a Pink Blush order last night at 9:30PM and woke up this morning to a "your order has shipped!" email! That was crazy fast!
DS born 9/24/2020
After DS was born, we told his mom she could come and help for a few days - no more then 5-7. She stayed for 10 and didn't do a thing to help. She did volunteer to hold him so I could make dinner. Most days, she spent staring at me trying to breastfeed. Compare my sister, who came up, made dinner, went grocery shopping, did laundry, cleaned and did her own work. I'm not asking for a servant, but don't expect me to take care of you.
Sorry, this was a rant. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to dealing with this again. Perhaps I'm unreasonable, but this is my kid, my body and my house. I'm not saying they can't come, but boundaries.
I had horrible back pain this weekend, ended up taking Monday off. Happened to talk to my OB this morning - I was following up on the u/s from the 9th to ensure all was good {which it was} - mentioned about my back being really sore.
She told me to basically rest and see an r.m.t and do as little as possible between now and appt on 27th to see if that helps. I hope it does
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
I will say I approve of doing fun things with the little’s even if they’re really young.
I think you would be more than justified in telling her that she can't visit unless she is prepared to work. Also if YH feels the need to give her a heads up couldn't he wait until you are in transition or pushing and then if she asks you could just say it was a really quick labor, second births usually are.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
idk how you STM+ ladies do it!
My MIL is very sweet and she would do anything I asked but I would have to say, "here's the recipe and ingredients, can you make dinner?". I think she just doesn't want to step on any toes. FIL, not so much...I went to the bedroom to nurse and he literally said, "You have to get used to doing that in public." Um, no sir...at this point I'm pretty much topless and wincing in pain trying to get baby to latch. Eff off (but I digress...I could do a weekly rant on his odd behavior)
I ended up cooking for them everyday and feeling like I had to entertain the whole time. I told DH, I'm NOT doing that this time. But I think it will be easier because they can play with DS, which will actually be helpful.
MIL won't ever come, even if I invited her so that's not a worry. Her idea of help is to hold the baby while I do everything myself, so not helpful either.
May14th2011 - YES! I love the excitement! The joy of going with a little will be so different from going when I was young but so rewarding. So many great memories.
llamamama14 - I haven't seen that sketch but it is spot on! Prior to DD DH was all about not doing Disney until she would be able to remember it but now that he sees how damn excited she gets and the joy on her sweet little face he is all about it. Can't restrain from doing fun things now just because she won't remember. 1) That's what photos and memories are for and 2) It will bring US joy from seeing our kid so happy.
chartermama - yay have so much fun!
Trust me ladies- I'm terrified of the exhaustion. I feel like I'm going to be huffing and puffing all day long and can pretty much expect to feel like I got repeatedly kicked in the vag (+whatever to the spd pain). I don't know that we will visit the pool but if we do at this point I basically plan to rock my non preggo bikini. I refuse to spend $$ on a suit that I may or may not wear one or two times. Maybe that is my UO for the week. I dare someone to say something...
ETA- dare someone at the pool to say something...should probably specify that comment. Discussion here is fine
Because its a super rewarding job, but mommin ain't easy
But now the most pressing issue is how am I ever going to catch up on these 8 zillion new posts?!
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
{note: not at my DQ :'( }
Now I'm here, pee sample, baby on monitor, liver enzyme and pre-e labs and every 15 min BP monitoring. My BP is like 110/64 now just laying here. My body is just really sensitive to stress and likes to spaz out at appointments. Thankfully I feel really relaxed here after sitting for a while, love the nurses, the lights are dim, which I'm sure are all helping my numbers. Unfortunately I may end up here after most appointments if my body csnt get it together.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
AFM below is live footage of my belly this afternoon. Got to have Sonic in NJ this afternoon and the kiddos apparently loved it.
I do second what @doxiemoxie212 said, I hate being immediately judged when I walk in a Dr office. Like I work a manual labor job, I'm healthy, but I'm also Puerto Rican and like to eat. Deal with it.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
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The captain of our city's hockey team. His wife was due in April {just announced she was due in April}, and they lost their son.
No info has been brought to light on any reasoning, and I doubt there will be. But I just can't imagine at 8 months
They did take it twice, but by that time, I was so freaking nervous about the shit being high that no way was it coming down. I was crying when I called my mom bc just hearing him ask for pre-e labs over the phone freaked me out. Over at LD, the lights are low, the nurses are chill and made me feel like this is no big deal, you lay down and watch tv.
I should ask them to do my appointments in reverse. Hear the heart beat, measure my belly, then take my BP and weigh me last.
And yes I agree, the judgement sucks. They probably assume I have BP issues and not just nerves bc I am not skinny. At least I get to work from home for the rest of the evening.