@sabby2@hjungk84 I don’t know about you but my LO loves being super active while I’m at work. Especially dragging limbs across my stomach while I’m at my desk.
@Llamamama14 if I slept on my stomach when breastfeeding I’d have milk leakage all over my sheets. I so miss it though!
@LaceyBee522 IKR?!?! I seriously question people's thought process. I'm going to sign up for a pregnancy forum and wait three days to post on a GIF thread that I don't know how to post a GIF (even though there are ample tutorials on this site.)
@BurlapandLace hahaha, I laughed at your suggestion (it was a good suggestion that will never work with my ILs and H). The first time around, My only restriction last time was I did not want his parents in the same state as me while I was in labor - I didn't want them at the hospital, I didn't want them at the house, I didn't want them calling. I didn't want the pressure. In an effort to appease both of us, my H told his mom (they live six hours away) that he would give them a "head's up" when I went into labor. First time moms can labor for 24 hours! A head's up was exactly what I didn't want. So he had to dial that back. His mom is super passive and will say something and he won't strongly disagree, so she'll take it as a yes, while he thinks he was just placating her. It's not a good mix.
After DS was born, we told his mom she could come and help for a few days - no more then 5-7. She stayed for 10 and didn't do a thing to help. She did volunteer to hold him so I could make dinner. Most days, she spent staring at me trying to breastfeed. Compare my sister, who came up, made dinner, went grocery shopping, did laundry, cleaned and did her own work. I'm not asking for a servant, but don't expect me to take care of you.
Sorry, this was a rant. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to dealing with this again. Perhaps I'm unreasonable, but this is my kid, my body and my house. I'm not saying they can't come, but boundaries.
@marcus7676 she’s clearly pissed you off without entirely destroying your relationship so I think you’re free and clear to do the same back - be blatantly honest with her. Your body needs to heal. And standing up doing chores when a fully rested human visitor comes is not the best way to do that. That would drive me insane.
@marcus7676 OMG, you just described my nightmare scenario. My ILs live in NYC, but my parents are still in the midwest. I have no idea what to expect in terms of what family visiting us will be like.
Well .... looks like tonight's axe throwing will be the last thing for a bit! I had horrible back pain this weekend, ended up taking Monday off. Happened to talk to my OB this morning - I was following up on the u/s from the 9th to ensure all was good {which it was} - mentioned about my back being really sore. She told me to basically rest and see an r.m.t and do as little as possible between now and appt on 27th to see if that helps. I hope it does The brace I got helps, but not as much as I'd hoped.
you girls talking about Disney are amazing. I can't even make it an hour filled with ds' bath time, cleaning up the dishes/kitchen then toys without my body just aching and me falling on to the couch. I don't think I could manage a day at Disney!
me:35 DH:34 DS: born oct 2012 TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16 BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17 BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
@catlady1215 Word. A trip to Disney seems to me like it would be on par with running a marathon in heels right about now. I have trouble walking to the bathroom sometimes. Taking kids to Disney at this point, IMO, = Mom of the Year status.
@catlady1215 yep I was thinking the same thing about going to Disney.. made a batch of ginger snaps last week and apparently the mixing, baking and cleaning up was standing too long for me. Took all weekend to feel back to decent... so of course yesterday I decided to convert the toddler bed back to the crib *face palm*
@marcus7676 that sounds awful! I had a brief moment of panic thinking about my mom and her wife staying with us for the week potentially immediately after baby is born but I don't think my mom would act like that at all. I think she would bring her work stuff so she can stay up to date on things at the office and I could send her out on errands and I'm sure she would make food. Plus MH will still be home at that point so if she needs help with like where things are he can do that.
I think you would be more than justified in telling her that she can't visit unless she is prepared to work. Also if YH feels the need to give her a heads up couldn't he wait until you are in transition or pushing and then if she asks you could just say it was a really quick labor, second births usually are.
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@marcus7676 that sounds like all my worst fears about my mom coming out. She's planning a trip from the 14th-21st which is as late as I could convince her to come (only one week after my due date!). Our relationship isn't bad, but it's much better long distance. She is very judgemental and isn't afraid to voice every opinion she has, which I don't need while trying to figure out being a parent. She also can't walk well without a cane or walker, so it's not like I'm expecting her to do any sort of chores. The main reason I didn't put my foot down on her visiting so soon is that my sister is kind of a b*tch and my mom is really sad about their relationship, so I'm basically just trying to make her feel as included in my pregnancy as possible.
Me 30 Him 30 Married August 2015 DS born 5/23/2018 TTC #2 July 2020
@marcus7676 I think you and I have the same in-laws! With DS, my mom came for a week when he was born, cooked dinner, cleaned up and went out during the day a few times to give us some space. Then his parents came and just.sat.there. Or wanted to hold the baby all the time...
My MIL is very sweet and she would do anything I asked but I would have to say, "here's the recipe and ingredients, can you make dinner?". I think she just doesn't want to step on any toes. FIL, not so much...I went to the bedroom to nurse and he literally said, "You have to get used to doing that in public." Um, no sir...at this point I'm pretty much topless and wincing in pain trying to get baby to latch. Eff off (but I digress...I could do a weekly rant on his odd behavior)
I ended up cooking for them everyday and feeling like I had to entertain the whole time. I told DH, I'm NOT doing that this time. But I think it will be easier because they can play with DS, which will actually be helpful.
@krashke this time, she's coming to visit May 19 (2 weeks before my due date) for the weekend (only). Given how fast my labor was last time, there will be no discussion about a "head's up." It simply is not happening. My sister is the only one who will get a call and that is so she can take care of DS. We didn't end up telling my ILs last time until after DS was born (because, fast) and they didn't end up coming (they were sick, so I'm glad they were smart about it) until my MIL came around 4 weeks (my FIL didn't meet DS until he was 4 months). Given how awful Christmas was with my FIL, I just don't want to deal with them this time.
I've already told my mom she can't come until July or August. She doesn't get along with DH, and wouldn't be any help at all to me. She would do a half hearted job of anything I asked, then would go home and tell her friends what a terrible mother I am. MIL won't ever come, even if I invited her so that's not a worry. Her idea of help is to hold the baby while I do everything myself, so not helpful either.
May14th2011 - YES! I love the excitement! The joy of going with a little will be so different from going when I was young but so rewarding. So many great memories.
llamamama14 - I haven't seen that sketch but it is spot on! Prior to DD DH was all about not doing Disney until she would be able to remember it but now that he sees how damn excited she gets and the joy on her sweet little face he is all about it. Can't restrain from doing fun things now just because she won't remember. 1) That's what photos and memories are for and 2) It will bring US joy from seeing our kid so happy.
@kmurdock925 have fun! We just got back...DD was 21 months and I was 27 weeks, so not quite as far along but close. It is a lot of walking but luckily with her being so little we were stopping frequently anyways so I had opportunities to sit, and I'm pretty sure between the 2 of us I now know where every bathroom in Disney is. And the magic of Disney definitely wraps you up and you forget your back and feet hurt for a while
Trust me ladies- I'm terrified of the exhaustion. I feel like I'm going to be huffing and puffing all day long and can pretty much expect to feel like I got repeatedly kicked in the vag (+whatever to the spd pain). I don't know that we will visit the pool but if we do at this point I basically plan to rock my non preggo bikini. I refuse to spend $$ on a suit that I may or may not wear one or two times. Maybe that is my UO for the week. I dare someone to say something...
ETA- dare someone at the pool to say something...should probably specify that comment. Discussion here is fine
Hi everyone! Poking my head back in here after a long break...I had a sinus infection that turned into pneumonia, and I have figuratively and literally been on my ass for the last two weeks. Finally feeling like a semi-normal human after some strong antibiotics. Feeling grateful that me and the babe are okay and I didn't end up in the hospital.
But now the most pressing issue is how am I ever going to catch up on these 8 zillion new posts?!
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Well they sent me to L&D after my regular appointment. Been here for 2 hours now in triage. My bp was 138/101 at doctor. It always runs high when I'm at the doctor bc they bring you back, weigh you, sit you down and take your BP immediately with an auto inflater.
Now I'm here, pee sample, baby on monitor, liver enzyme and pre-e labs and every 15 min BP monitoring. My BP is like 110/64 now just laying here. My body is just really sensitive to stress and likes to spaz out at appointments. Thankfully I feel really relaxed here after sitting for a while, love the nurses, the lights are dim, which I'm sure are all helping my numbers. Unfortunately I may end up here after most appointments if my body csnt get it together.
@amys614 sorry you have to deal with that. I'm glad things have settled down. I guess better safe than sorry but that is going to get frustrating after every appointment. Is there a way they can take your BP at the end of the appointment after you have settled in, relaxed a little, spoke with the Dr and heard baby's heartbeat?
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@amys614 do you ask them to take it again? My office takes it like 3 times if it's high because they don't believe my BP would be high -- which might be bias because I'm thin? IDK. (Doctors tend to assume by looking at me that I'm very healthy because I'm thin which I think is as fucked up as assuming someone is unhealthy if they're a little overweight. Like, what if I'm not healthy, yo?) But I'd hope your office is at least double checking before they make you go sit in L&D for so long...
@amys614 that's rough. I'm glad everything's okay and I mean at least you got a relaxing afternoon out of it. I do second what @doxiemoxie212 said, I hate being immediately judged when I walk in a Dr office. Like I work a manual labor job, I'm healthy, but I'm also Puerto Rican and like to eat. Deal with it.
Me 30 Him 30 Married August 2015 DS born 5/23/2018 TTC #2 July 2020
Gonna *TW* this just in case - loss mentioned, not mine fyi {idk how to do the 'spoiler' thing - sorry! If someone could msg me with how to do it, that'd be great!} - - - - - - - - - The captain of our city's hockey team. His wife was due in April {just announced she was due in April}, and they lost their son.
No info has been brought to light on any reasoning, and I doubt there will be. But I just can't imagine at 8 months
Thanks ladies. The only upside is that between these visits and my growth scans, I'm getting very comfortable with the nurses over here.
They did take it twice, but by that time, I was so freaking nervous about the shit being high that no way was it coming down. I was crying when I called my mom bc just hearing him ask for pre-e labs over the phone freaked me out. Over at LD, the lights are low, the nurses are chill and made me feel like this is no big deal, you lay down and watch tv.
I should ask them to do my appointments in reverse. Hear the heart beat, measure my belly, then take my BP and weigh me last.
And yes I agree, the judgement sucks. They probably assume I have BP issues and not just nerves bc I am not skinny. At least I get to work from home for the rest of the evening.
Re: Weekly Randoms (Week of 3.19)
@Llamamama14 if I slept on my stomach when breastfeeding I’d have milk leakage all over my sheets. I so miss it though!
Guys, I made a Pink Blush order last night at 9:30PM and woke up this morning to a "your order has shipped!" email! That was crazy fast!
DS born 9/24/2020
After DS was born, we told his mom she could come and help for a few days - no more then 5-7. She stayed for 10 and didn't do a thing to help. She did volunteer to hold him so I could make dinner. Most days, she spent staring at me trying to breastfeed. Compare my sister, who came up, made dinner, went grocery shopping, did laundry, cleaned and did her own work. I'm not asking for a servant, but don't expect me to take care of you.
Sorry, this was a rant. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to dealing with this again. Perhaps I'm unreasonable, but this is my kid, my body and my house. I'm not saying they can't come, but boundaries.
I had horrible back pain this weekend, ended up taking Monday off. Happened to talk to my OB this morning - I was following up on the u/s from the 9th to ensure all was good {which it was} - mentioned about my back being really sore.
She told me to basically rest and see an r.m.t and do as little as possible between now and appt on 27th to see if that helps. I hope it does
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
I will say I approve of doing fun things with the little’s even if they’re really young.
I think you would be more than justified in telling her that she can't visit unless she is prepared to work. Also if YH feels the need to give her a heads up couldn't he wait until you are in transition or pushing and then if she asks you could just say it was a really quick labor, second births usually are.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
idk how you STM+ ladies do it!
My MIL is very sweet and she would do anything I asked but I would have to say, "here's the recipe and ingredients, can you make dinner?". I think she just doesn't want to step on any toes. FIL, not so much...I went to the bedroom to nurse and he literally said, "You have to get used to doing that in public." Um, no sir...at this point I'm pretty much topless and wincing in pain trying to get baby to latch. Eff off (but I digress...I could do a weekly rant on his odd behavior)
I ended up cooking for them everyday and feeling like I had to entertain the whole time. I told DH, I'm NOT doing that this time. But I think it will be easier because they can play with DS, which will actually be helpful.
MIL won't ever come, even if I invited her so that's not a worry. Her idea of help is to hold the baby while I do everything myself, so not helpful either.
May14th2011 - YES! I love the excitement! The joy of going with a little will be so different from going when I was young but so rewarding. So many great memories.
llamamama14 - I haven't seen that sketch but it is spot on! Prior to DD DH was all about not doing Disney until she would be able to remember it but now that he sees how damn excited she gets and the joy on her sweet little face he is all about it. Can't restrain from doing fun things now just because she won't remember. 1) That's what photos and memories are for and 2) It will bring US joy from seeing our kid so happy.
chartermama - yay have so much fun!
Trust me ladies- I'm terrified of the exhaustion. I feel like I'm going to be huffing and puffing all day long and can pretty much expect to feel like I got repeatedly kicked in the vag (+whatever to the spd pain). I don't know that we will visit the pool but if we do at this point I basically plan to rock my non preggo bikini. I refuse to spend $$ on a suit that I may or may not wear one or two times. Maybe that is my UO for the week. I dare someone to say something...
ETA- dare someone at the pool to say something...should probably specify that comment. Discussion here is fine
Because its a super rewarding job, but mommin ain't easy
But now the most pressing issue is how am I ever going to catch up on these 8 zillion new posts?!
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
{note: not at my DQ
Now I'm here, pee sample, baby on monitor, liver enzyme and pre-e labs and every 15 min BP monitoring. My BP is like 110/64 now just laying here. My body is just really sensitive to stress and likes to spaz out at appointments. Thankfully I feel really relaxed here after sitting for a while, love the nurses, the lights are dim, which I'm sure are all helping my numbers. Unfortunately I may end up here after most appointments if my body csnt get it together.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
AFM below is live footage of my belly this afternoon. Got to have Sonic in NJ this afternoon and the kiddos apparently loved it.
I do second what @doxiemoxie212 said, I hate being immediately judged when I walk in a Dr office. Like I work a manual labor job, I'm healthy, but I'm also Puerto Rican and like to eat. Deal with it.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
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The captain of our city's hockey team. His wife was due in April {just announced she was due in April}, and they lost their son.
No info has been brought to light on any reasoning, and I doubt there will be. But I just can't imagine at 8 months
They did take it twice, but by that time, I was so freaking nervous about the shit being high that no way was it coming down. I was crying when I called my mom bc just hearing him ask for pre-e labs over the phone freaked me out. Over at LD, the lights are low, the nurses are chill and made me feel like this is no big deal, you lay down and watch tv.
I should ask them to do my appointments in reverse. Hear the heart beat, measure my belly, then take my BP and weigh me last.
And yes I agree, the judgement sucks. They probably assume I have BP issues and not just nerves bc I am not skinny. At least I get to work from home for the rest of the evening.