Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: March 2018 IUI
@suzycupcake Thanks. Yes this is my IUI #2/2b. I'm here in Japan so the protocols are slightly different from what you do there in the US.
IUI#1-
CD17(am) - 2puffs Buserecure Nasal Spray (works like Lupron),
CD17 HCG 3000iu trigger (IUI day),
CD20-30 Duphaston 20mg/day
IUI#2/2b
CD9- Ferring HMG 150iu,
CD12- 2puffs Buserecure Nasal Spray,
CD13 (IUI#2) HCG 3000iu trigger,
CD14 (IUI#2b),
CD18 HCG 3000iu
CD16-25 Duphaston 20mg/day
@FutureMrsMerati I'm sorry too that you aren't very optimistic for this month. Did you usually feel some symptoms during your previous TWWs and this time was totally different?
Is your body low in estrogen to warrant the lupron like med? I don't know anything about lupron.
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
I’m 32 and my husband is as well. We started trying a year and a half ago. I’ve always had regular periods and ovulation and temps looked right. In November, we got my husband tested and his numbers and motility came out low. We met with an RE and started testing in Jan-Feb- everything looks good for me. His numbers are still lower but he is on clomid and seeing a urologist as well. They told us to go straight to IUI with Clomid and trigger because all but about $90 of everything is covered by insurance. Trying to decide how many I want to do before we move to IVF.
It's also interesting to talk about the IVF protocols here in Japan
Abt the question why HCG was administered on the same day as IUI, my clinic uses the Natural Cycle Timing (LH surge confirmation and u/s) and believes that IUI is ok to be performed WITHIN 24 hrs of HCG administration.
Other clinics time the IUI based on the trigger shot timing, that is IUI to be done 40-42 hrs after HCG.
You might notice a second HCG shot 48hrs after my IUI #2b, a research showed 22.6% success rate up with this. (Well, we'll see abt that.)
From my IVF experience last Aug2017, I've been put on the long protocol, Japanese doctors seem to prefer this over the short one to prevent OHSS. The Beserecure is a GnRH agonist. It's true that it induces hypoestrogenism but its main role for me is the suppression of spontaneous ovulation. I should administer it intranasal 24-36 hours before the IUI or ER. This med is also used to treat endometriosis.
How's your TWW going?
@eabrahamson Welcom! Is this your first IUI? I know that my Dr recommended we do three rounds and this month will be my first. Here’s hoping we can get a BFP soon!
or just the drugs. Keep us posted on how your IUI goes!
@tinjp78- Thanks for checking in. I feel like I have a ton of symptoms but it could be anything, frustrating! Blood test is Tuesday- hoping for baby but not going to test until that day
@eabrahamson & @wine_mama16 welcome!
@tinjp78 How are you feeling? You sound like yourself again (which is really difficult to tell by reading posts) so that’s good!!! It must be interesting doing this whole process in Japan all while comparing it to the process here in the states. As for IUI trigger timing my clinic does IUI 16 and 36 hours after trigger...so I can see where the day of and 24 hours could work. My doctor says that he believes that the washed sperm actually lives for a day after IUI. Fx for you...I’m anxiously waiting for your beta!!!!!
@wine_mama16 welcome to the group!
@FutureMrsMerati I got my second beta today and it was 550...which is awesome. So I’m allowing myself to be excited!!! I did have some light brown spotting early but the doc said it’s okay.
Two Furbabies: Mika (american eskimo) and Gypsy (wire-haired terrier, dachshund mix)
Twins: Kaiden and Zara born 10/2018 conceived after 6 years of infertility via a medicated IUI
@rmartin_ttc seems like we are in similar situations, here’s hoping good news for both of us on Monday and
@linz36 Congratulations honey! Will you be in the November bmb?
@wine_mama16 Welcome
@eabrahamson Did you already do iui?
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
@tinjp78 and @FutureMrsMerati thanks for the congratulations! I finally feel like this is real!!!
@suzycupcake good luck with your IUI, FX this is the one for you!!! And yes I did join the November BMB. I was going to wait but I saw there were some ladies there who were just as early as me so I went ahead and joined. I'm hoping some of you guys will be able to join me there shortly!!!
Two Furbabies: Mika (american eskimo) and Gypsy (wire-haired terrier, dachshund mix)
Twins: Kaiden and Zara born 10/2018 conceived after 6 years of infertility via a medicated IUI
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
If clomid alone has a 5% chance of multiples, injectables may add 40% more chance. That would take you up to 7% chance. (Those are example numbers). Hope that makes sense
DH - 30 Azoospermia
Dating since 2007, married since 2014
TTC since 11/16
IVF w/ICS I#1 9/17 - 0 eggs fertilized
IUI w/DS - 3/10/18
@tinjp78 let me know how things go tomorrow...
AFM... *TW*
its a win win either way and we are just going to remain positive and optimistic.
@FutureMrsMerati ahh! let us know how subsequent tests go!!! that is GREAT news and I am hoping the best for you
@rmartin_ttc That's a great improvement!!!
TTC 21 cycles
All TI cycles BFN (with letrozole, ovidrel, prometrium)
Hysteroscopy + Polypectomy + D&C on 1/3
IUI #1 February 6, BFP 2/21, CP 2/26
IUI #2 March 14, BFN
IUI #3 April 11, BFN
IUI #4 May 11, BFN
July 2018 IVF, developed lead follicle, converted to TI, BFN
August/September 2018 IVF converted to freeze-all: 7 mature eggs; we fertilized 3 and froze 4. 3/3 fertilized and 1 blast!
October 2018 FET-BFN
November 2018 FET-TBD
All went well up until today, the IUI day. I was here for an ultrasound on Friday and asked a million times if my wife needed to sign any other consents before go time because she couldn’t be with me today. Low and behold, I call to get the sperm sample thawed and prepared for IUI and they tell me it’s under her name and she needs to sign it over to me. They were saying she needed to be here in person and I was freaking out and then they were saying she could sign it and have it notarized and faxed to the office but who the fuck has time for that on a Monday morning??? I said “I spent over a thousand dollars on medication alone. I cannot do this again.” They accepted a signed email document with a copy of her ID. Then they said they’d thaw the sample but oh, sorry, it’s ICI preparation so it’ll take an hour and a half to wash and thaw so take a seat in the waiting room. Then they asked me if I wanted to thaw 1 or 2
vials because they don’t know if the counts will be acceptable after washing. Um... I don’t know?! Why the hell didn’t the doctor go over this with me during my consults when I said I was using ICI sperm??? I have exactly 4 vials left of our donor’s sperm so each one has to count. I am going to cry. If the numbers come back low and no one told me that was a possibility WEEKS ago when we started this I am going to raise hell.
Whatever. I knew this cycle only had a small chance of working anyway but I wanted the best chance possible, damn it. Now I feel like my clinic has completely fucked up. First they left my wife sitting in the IUI room for an hour holding her thawed sperm because they forgot about her, and now this.
Fuck this place. In a few days I’m gonna contact the other clinic and get the ball rolling to move on to Ivf. They’re using a new technique and I know they’re motivated to get women pregnant to bump their success rates with it so if they want to use me for marketing, so be it. Done done done.
@rmartin_ttc FX for you and your wife for this cycle to work!
@tinjp78 FX for your beta!!!!!
@rmartin_ttc that’s awesome that her lining improved! I hope this IUI does the trick for you guys...FX!!!!!
@wishiwaspreggo OMG I cannot believe you had to deal with that. I would be super pissed. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
@kra6789 an absence of symptoms does not mean that you are out this cycle, everyone’s body is different. FX for you!
@suzycupcake I have my fingers crossed that this is your cycle and you’ll be apart of the December BMB!
Two Furbabies: Mika (american eskimo) and Gypsy (wire-haired terrier, dachshund mix)
Twins: Kaiden and Zara born 10/2018 conceived after 6 years of infertility via a medicated IUI
@FutureMrsMerati Thank you! And I am so so so so thrilled for you
@rmartin_ttc Omg yes for the mature follicle! It only takes one and I know it isn't what you hoped for. We are all rooting for you and your wife! I'm glad you found a new RE. It sounds like the current one needs to learn how to adjust the medication or something. Yay for positivity! I mean, it really does help for sanity's sake
@wishiwaspreggo omg how ridiculous! I'm so so sorry! I wanna say a lot of choice words because I cannot stand injustice, but I know you're trying to be optimistic about going somewhere else so I will do the same. All the hugs and love and prayers for you guys. Rooting for you!
@linz36 Thank you honey
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
@wishiwaspreggo so sorry to hear you had to deal with all of that BS! It really seems very unprofessional to say the least. I'm so happy to see you're also changing clinics anyway, but sorry you've had to go through this in the meantime.
@suzycupcake @linz36 thank you thank you! Cautiously optimistic over here and hoping tomorrow's beta result is a good one!
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
@FutureMrsMerati I was going to say what @wishiwaspreggo said. dont worry about the numbers too much as long as they double! I really hope this is it for you
Buddy!!!! You got a BFP!!!! Wow wow!!!! I'm praying for good numbers on your beta day!
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
TW-I’m just worried that somehow the trigger could still be there or something but I can see the second line although not as dark as the control- that’s a good sign right?-End TW
How is everyone else doing?