@msd1001 I'm sorry you're going through such stress! I hope it turns out to be nothing serious (*TW* FWIW, I've had sharp pains on one side in prior pregnancies and it turned out to just be the corpus luteum cyst *End TW*). Try not to worry too much about the hcg - once it's over 1000-ish the doubling time slows down and it's not every 48 hours like in very early pregnancy. I hope your appointment tomorrow goes well and you have good news to share
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@ashleymarie512 I have an ultrasound on 3/15, but nothing to do before then. Such a long wait! They told me to go ahead and call my OB and see when she wants to start seeing me. Glad I called--she's pretty booked so they had nothing soon (not that I need to go soon), so I got booked with her 3/28 just before I'm 9 weeks along. They were really appreciative to have advance notice for this appointment--it's a really long one and hard to get squeezed in.
I just ordered my full dose of PIO--I need 3 more vials to last me until I stop at 10 weeks. It will feel so nice to have everything here.
I am sooooo excited to tell my family! NO ONE knows. My younger sister donated the eggs last year, but no one has any idea that we did the FET or were thinking of doing it now, etc. We fly to Oregon for a huge Easter weekend bash and plan to have my then-11-month-old wear a 'big sister' onesie and see how long it takes anyone to figure things out. My sister is going to sob. We might see her first before the big get-together so she can find out first. It seems fitting. Did I mention that our transfer was on her birthday?? Just so perfect.
Me: Age 40 Husband: Age 41 Chemo killed my ovaries (along with a BRCA1 mutation, which causes DOR) 4/30/13 ER just prior to chemo: 8 embryos frozen at 2pn. 2 survived to blasts/1 PGS normal
4/16 ER cancelled on CD7: 1 follicle on L/ 0 follicles on R FET #1 7/13/16 BFN
Super shocker +HPT 9/19 Baby Alyce arrived 5/8/17
Went forward with donor eggs from my sister for baby #2 ER 4/24, 5 eggs fertilized/1 survived to blast and was chromosomally normal.
FET 2/15 (my sister/donor's birthday!). Beta 10dp5dt:172; beta 12dp5dt: 425
@msd1001 - oh no! I hope it's nothing, but that does sound painful and I too would be concerned. Keeping fingers crossed for good news tomorrow- hang in there!
I actually feel paralyzed about the whole thing. I haven't taken an HPT, and I keep thinking about whether or not I will actually be able to answer the phone when they call with the beta results. I just want to curl into a little ball and stay in this state of not knowing but thinking maybe I could be pregnant for a long time, and avoid the whole "beta" thing. "Nervous" isn't even the right word - I'm basically petrified. I can't even imagine getting a BFP anymore!
In other news, I think DH hit a blood vessel when doing my last PIO, and now I have this angry, bumpy bruise. Ugh.
@PNW12RN - If I were your sister, I'd be so thrilled! Keeping FX for your ultrasound, and looking forward to hearing how the big reveal goes!
@msd1001 - thinking of you and hoping for good news.
@radmom27 - I hope everything went smoothly yesterday! FX!
so much news ladies. Praying and thinking off all of you in these waiting periods. Hoping all the physical aches and pains your feeling turn out ok and all the emotional aches and pains are eased by BFPs, good betas, and good ultrasounds.
TW* I dont remember the TWW with my first Transfer in 2014 and I didnt poas but I am truly struggling this time*. i have totally spaced on meds here and there this time and have some symptoms here and there but nothing major and I feel like March 6th is so far away.
We shall see...debating peeing on a stick tonight. But know I am not metally strong enough to deal with the fact that a neg could just be too early and then I would spiral.
Married 2010
TTC Sept 2012
Clomid with TI Jan, Feb Mar 2013 - All BFN
IUI #1-3, Aug, Sept, Oct 2014 - All BFN
IVF #1 ER 2/19/14, 34R, 33F, 21 on ice, Freeze All
@KathrynShustek I’m with you. I’ve been much more scattered with my meds this time too. I’m also waiting on 3/6, and it seems so far away still. Hang in there! I also don’t have the strength to POAS for fear it’s negative. I’ve done it before and it killed my mental health.
@funkykey Answering the phone is the scariest thing ever. I always force myself to take a big, deep breathe before I answer, but I’m still shaky as ever! Sending positive vibes!!
I didn't sleep all night but went into the appointment so strong, the moment she asked how I was feeling BOOM water works! So embarrassing, I literally sobbed! I was so nervous and I am just in the mind set that this is too good to be true. Anyways, they think my bad cramping TMI is from constipation...I felt so stupid! I told them since I had my positive beta I only have bowel movements every few days. They said they were not concerned about the beta yesterday because like @tosh24 said it slow down as you get further along. The pregnancy is in the uterus and my Gestational sac is measuring a bit short of 6 weeks which I was worried about because I am 6 weeks today. They did seen a fetal pole with a heart beat 111bpm. I feel a little better but my guard is still up but I have a follow up next thursday. They sent me home with some constipation remedies!
@funkykey one more day!!! Keeping you in my prayers!
@KathrynShustek - I've had to use one of those weekly pill cases. I just was getting to a point where it all seemed to blur - I couldn't remember if I'd actually taken something, or if that was just me remembering the night before.
Keeping FX for you.
@msd1001 - Great news!! I wouldn't be too embarrassed. You're probably traumatized, to be honest - IF is tough. It's really hard to keep calm when all you've had for 2+ years is bad news.
Even me, I keep thinking this is going to be exactly like last time, that my heart is going to break again. It's really hard to take a deep breath and to think: "IVF actually works for people. There's about a 60% chance it's going to work for me. Maybe this hard road is going to end." I can totally see how, even if it does work out, I'd be on edge until a baby was safely delivered.
@msd1001 Glad to hear that things went well today! @funkykey GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!!!!!
TTC since August 2014
Me: 41, Him: 43
DX: Unexplained secondary infertility
History: Multiple months of Clomid/Femara End of March 2015: BFP with Femara! Saw heartbeat at 5.5 weeks. M/C at 11 weeks Multiple more months of Femara IUI #1 with Femara and Follistem 75 units: BFN IUI #2 with Follistem 150 units: BFN Dec 2015: 1st IVF. 10 eggs retrieved with 8 eggs fertilized. 5 day transfer of two embryos with 2 frozen embies. BFN January 2016: FET #1 2 embryos: BFN March 2016: 2nd IVF cycle. 4 eggs retrieved with 2 fertilized. Quick two day transfer of both embryos: BFN April/May 2016 IVF #3. 11 eggs retrieved. 10 mature. 7 fertilized. 2 5AA blasts transferred 5/11/2016 BFN September 2016 IVF #4: 17 follicles growing, premature ovulation through Cetrotide. Retrieval cancelled. April 2017 IVF #5: 9 follicles growing, 6 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of three blasts. BFN June 2017: IVF #6: 2 follicles growing, 5 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of 5 3-day embryos. Chemical pregnancy. BFN Nov/Dec 2017: Donor egg cycle. 33 eggs retrieved, 26 mature. 26 fertilized.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@msd1001 Your updates keep me on the edge of my seat. I'm glad that your last appointment went well and I hope that your bowel issues would ease up soon. I'm rooting for you
@funkykey I'm crossing everything for you, friend!
@funkykey no!!!!!!!!!! Ugh, this absolutely breaks my heart. I am so so sorry. I’m also really angry at the universe right now, you deserve this SO much. (By this I mean a BFP, I realize that could be read wrong and be incredibly insulting)
edited to clarify meaning
Me: 39 SO: 36
Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"
TTC#1 since November 2015 9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN 10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN 1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018 May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Not sure how we're going to proceed, but it's looking like we'll do some more testing before we do anything, including an ERA and maybe some sperm DNA fragmentation testing.
When she first told me, it felt like my heart had actually stopped, and then I was having trouble breathing. I had to take these big gasping breaths. I tried very hard to get through the phone call without sobbing but failed. Once she was done, it took about 5 minutes for me to start breathing regularly again, I was crying so hard. The dog was very confused!
A couple of months ago, my GP mentioned seeing a specialized grief counsellor. The nurse on the phone today did too. She said something about learning coping strategies, and I said: "I know, but I don't want to learn to cope, because coping means I think this is going to go on longer. I want this to be over."
After, I signed up for a group session with a grief counsellor though, like a real support group.
It's so hard to not lose your mind in all this, and to not think that it's happening because you don't take wheatgrass shots or didn't do acupuncture. I've had a couple of moments like that, where I have to stop and question my sanity. I've done everything by the book, everything that's been prescribed or recommended to me, I really don't understand why this is happening, and neither do my doctors. I can feel myself starting to turn to mysticism and superstition. Like, maybe this happened because the stars are not aligned, or some sh*t.
Ugh. Thanks for the kind words everyone. @PoeMasque - ugh, I know. Whenever I take personality tests, I'm always someone who "values justice over mercy". Things that seem "unfair" bother me. Not that I think that I necessarily deserve a baby, and certainly not that I "deserve" the purgatory of continually trying and failing to have a baby - but it really does bother me how unfair this all seems sometimes. Not even for me, but just in general. Like seeing the most ridiculous, irresponsible couples conceive easily IRL, and then other couples here, who are so thoughtful and so responsible, seeing them struggle. It makes no sense!
FX for everyone else still in their TWW! Hoping it happens for you!
@funkykey I am so sorry to see this news. It’s so incredibly painful and unfair. It really doesn’t make any sense. (That photo/scene gets me every time.) We will be getting an ERA and RPL before we move on, too. I know there’s nothing I can say to make this pain subside, but you are not alone and my heart is breaking for you.
Me: 35 DH: 28 TTC since June 2016 Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016 AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017 Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017 October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total) Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen 12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP 2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone Abnormal SIS Oct 2018 Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis. 12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN Our journey has come to an end.
@funkykey Your post made my heart hurt. I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.
TTC since August 2014
Me: 41, Him: 43
DX: Unexplained secondary infertility
History: Multiple months of Clomid/Femara End of March 2015: BFP with Femara! Saw heartbeat at 5.5 weeks. M/C at 11 weeks Multiple more months of Femara IUI #1 with Femara and Follistem 75 units: BFN IUI #2 with Follistem 150 units: BFN Dec 2015: 1st IVF. 10 eggs retrieved with 8 eggs fertilized. 5 day transfer of two embryos with 2 frozen embies. BFN January 2016: FET #1 2 embryos: BFN March 2016: 2nd IVF cycle. 4 eggs retrieved with 2 fertilized. Quick two day transfer of both embryos: BFN April/May 2016 IVF #3. 11 eggs retrieved. 10 mature. 7 fertilized. 2 5AA blasts transferred 5/11/2016 BFN September 2016 IVF #4: 17 follicles growing, premature ovulation through Cetrotide. Retrieval cancelled. April 2017 IVF #5: 9 follicles growing, 6 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of three blasts. BFN June 2017: IVF #6: 2 follicles growing, 5 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of 5 3-day embryos. Chemical pregnancy. BFN Nov/Dec 2017: Donor egg cycle. 33 eggs retrieved, 26 mature. 26 fertilized.
Late to the gate here! I had my FET on the 28th.. 1, 5 day Blastocyst! Go baby go! First beta next Friday.. keeping my fingers, toes, and everything else crossed!
@funkykey I am so sorry, we are all so devastated for you . Behind every large storm is a beautiful rainbow . Just keep pushing forward and one day this struggle will all be worth it .
AFM I woke up Sunday morning in a pool of blood . I was hysterical . My husband brought me to the OB emergency room ( we have a separate urgent area in our hospital for just pregnant women ). They did an ultrasound and I have a very large Subchorionic Hemorrhage. Unfortunately this particular dr did not see a fetal pole or heart beat which they saw on Thursday’s Ultrasound at my clinic . They pretty much told us to be prepared to miscarry we are in the category of threatened miscarriage . They called my RE who was on call thankfully and she said to up my meds! I’m confused this doctor just told me to be prepared to miscarry and my RE tells me to up my meds . I called my RE to get more clarification and she told me she saw the images, she wants me to give this pregnancy a fighting chance and to be optimistic. She said it’s very common to see SCH during IVF pregnancies but that still didn’t explain them not seeing a fetal pole or Heart beat so honestly I just don’t know . I go in thursday another US. It’s so upsetting , for year you have nothing but failures , you finally get a positive and a few weeks later it may all end and we will have to start the process over . Infertility is just so so emotionally and physically draining . I sometimes just feel like this is so unfair .
@msd1001 What happened was so scary and I can't imagine how you are feeling right now. I'll be praying for strength for you and your lil one and hope that everything is going to be alright. ((Hugs))
@msd1001 - OMG, I am so sorry! That sounds so stressful! And confusing! Keeping FX for you that Thursday's u/s shows your growing little nugget. But I totally understand what you mean about this being emotionally and physically draining. It's brutal.
@msd1001 Oh man, I am so sorry you're having to go through this. SCHs are so scary and I unfortunately know exactly how you feel right now since I have been there myself. Although my story didn't have happy ending, I know PLENTY of ladies both on TB and IRL who have gone on to have healthy LOs after large SCHs. I am thinking about you and I hope you get good news at your u/s Thursday.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
I am so sorry @msd1001 same thing happened to me with my last transfer. had a pos test, ultrasound and then later a big SCH that woke me in the middle of the night in a pool of blood. It was horrible. to make it worse husband was out of town. Thankfully, it ended up all being ok, (TW my twins had strong heart beats once the RE did another ultrasound). Keep on the meds, stay hydrated, and rest as much as possible. Nothing about any of this is fair and its the worst! I am so sorry its been one hurdle after the other. I will continue to pray for you and your nugget and a strong ultrasound
Married 2010
TTC Sept 2012
Clomid with TI Jan, Feb Mar 2013 - All BFN
IUI #1-3, Aug, Sept, Oct 2014 - All BFN
IVF #1 ER 2/19/14, 34R, 33F, 21 on ice, Freeze All
@msd1001I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this and are in such limbo. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you get good news Thursday.
TTC since August 2014
Me: 41, Him: 43
DX: Unexplained secondary infertility
History: Multiple months of Clomid/Femara End of March 2015: BFP with Femara! Saw heartbeat at 5.5 weeks. M/C at 11 weeks Multiple more months of Femara IUI #1 with Femara and Follistem 75 units: BFN IUI #2 with Follistem 150 units: BFN Dec 2015: 1st IVF. 10 eggs retrieved with 8 eggs fertilized. 5 day transfer of two embryos with 2 frozen embies. BFN January 2016: FET #1 2 embryos: BFN March 2016: 2nd IVF cycle. 4 eggs retrieved with 2 fertilized. Quick two day transfer of both embryos: BFN April/May 2016 IVF #3. 11 eggs retrieved. 10 mature. 7 fertilized. 2 5AA blasts transferred 5/11/2016 BFN September 2016 IVF #4: 17 follicles growing, premature ovulation through Cetrotide. Retrieval cancelled. April 2017 IVF #5: 9 follicles growing, 6 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of three blasts. BFN June 2017: IVF #6: 2 follicles growing, 5 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of 5 3-day embryos. Chemical pregnancy. BFN Nov/Dec 2017: Donor egg cycle. 33 eggs retrieved, 26 mature. 26 fertilized.
Thank you all for your support . I appreciate it so much . I’ll keep you posted after my appointment Thursday . Until then I’m just trying to take it day by day . The worst is going back to work and having to fake it till I make it . It’s so hard to balance work life with my own personal struggles .
Re: February FET
@mechelita44 Ooh the TWW is the worst! Hopefully you can stay busy the next week or so!
@mechelita44 & @radmom27 Congrats on your transfers! Hope your TWWs fly by!
@msd1001 I'm sorry you're going through such stress! I hope it turns out to be nothing serious (*TW* FWIW, I've had sharp pains on one side in prior pregnancies and it turned out to just be the corpus luteum cyst *End TW*). Try not to worry too much about the hcg - once it's over 1000-ish the doubling time slows down and it's not every 48 hours like in very early pregnancy. I hope your appointment tomorrow goes well and you have good news to share
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
I just ordered my full dose of PIO--I need 3 more vials to last me until I stop at 10 weeks. It will feel so nice to have everything here.
I am sooooo excited to tell my family! NO ONE knows. My younger sister donated the eggs last year, but no one has any idea that we did the FET or were thinking of doing it now, etc. We fly to Oregon for a huge Easter weekend bash and plan to have my then-11-month-old wear a 'big sister' onesie and see how long it takes anyone to figure things out. My sister is going to sob. We might see her first before the big get-together so she can find out first. It seems fitting. Did I mention that our transfer was on her birthday?? Just so perfect.
Chemo killed my ovaries (along with a BRCA1 mutation, which causes DOR)
4/30/13 ER just prior to chemo: 8 embryos frozen at 2pn. 2 survived to blasts/1 PGS normal
4/16 ER cancelled on CD7: 1 follicle on L/ 0 follicles on R
FET #1 7/13/16 BFN
Super shocker +HPT 9/19
Baby Alyce arrived 5/8/17
Went forward with donor eggs from my sister for baby #2
ER 4/24, 5 eggs fertilized/1 survived to blast and was chromosomally normal.
FET 2/15 (my sister/donor's birthday!). Beta 10dp5dt:172; beta 12dp5dt: 425
My TTC/Cancer/Random thoughts blog: http://www.dinktodiapers.blogspot.com/
@msd1001 - oh no! I hope it's nothing, but that does sound painful and I too would be concerned. Keeping fingers crossed for good news tomorrow- hang in there!
@PNW12RN your big reveal sounds amazing!!!
@radmom27 when is your beta? Hoping we both have good news to share soon! (Not soon enough!)
I actually feel paralyzed about the whole thing. I haven't taken an HPT, and I keep thinking about whether or not I will actually be able to answer the phone when they call with the beta results. I just want to curl into a little ball and stay in this state of not knowing but thinking maybe I could be pregnant for a long time, and avoid the whole "beta" thing. "Nervous" isn't even the right word - I'm basically petrified. I can't even imagine getting a BFP anymore!
In other news, I think DH hit a blood vessel when doing my last PIO, and now I have this angry, bumpy bruise. Ugh.
@PNW12RN - If I were your sister, I'd be so thrilled! Keeping FX for your ultrasound, and looking forward to hearing how the big reveal goes!
@msd1001 - thinking of you and hoping for good news.
@radmom27 - I hope everything went smoothly yesterday! FX!
TW* I dont remember the TWW with my first Transfer in 2014 and I didnt poas but I am truly struggling this time*. i have totally spaced on meds here and there this time and have some symptoms here and there but nothing major and I feel like March 6th is so far away.
We shall see...debating peeing on a stick tonight. But know I am not metally strong enough to deal with the fact that a neg could just be too early and then I would spiral.
Married 2010
TTC Sept 2012
Clomid with TI Jan, Feb Mar 2013 - All BFN
IUI #1-3, Aug, Sept, Oct 2014 - All BFN
IVF #1 ER 2/19/14, 34R, 33F, 21 on ice, Freeze All
FET #1 4/11/14, Beta on 4/22
Beta #1 1238, Beta #2 - 4000 - BFP
Twin Girls Born 11/25/14
@funkykey Answering the phone is the scariest thing ever. I always force myself to take a big, deep breathe before I answer, but I’m still shaky as ever! Sending positive vibes!!
@funkykey one more day!!! Keeping you in my prayers!
@PNW12RN the waiting game sucks!
@KathrynShustek honestly it is so hard to keep all the meds straight!
Keeping FX for you.
@msd1001 - Great news!! I wouldn't be too embarrassed. You're probably traumatized, to be honest - IF is tough. It's really hard to keep calm when all you've had for 2+ years is bad news.
Even me, I keep thinking this is going to be exactly like last time, that my heart is going to break again. It's really hard to take a deep breath and to think: "IVF actually works for people. There's about a 60% chance it's going to work for me. Maybe this hard road is going to end." I can totally see how, even if it does work out, I'd be on edge until a baby was safely delivered.
@funkykey GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!!!!!
Multiple months of Clomid/Femara
End of March 2015: BFP with Femara! Saw heartbeat at 5.5 weeks. M/C at 11 weeks
Multiple more months of Femara
IUI #1 with Femara and Follistem 75 units: BFN
IUI #2 with Follistem 150 units: BFN
Dec 2015: 1st IVF. 10 eggs retrieved with 8 eggs fertilized. 5 day transfer of two embryos with 2 frozen embies. BFN
January 2016: FET #1 2 embryos: BFN
March 2016: 2nd IVF cycle. 4 eggs retrieved with 2 fertilized. Quick two day transfer of both embryos: BFN
April/May 2016 IVF #3. 11 eggs retrieved. 10 mature. 7 fertilized. 2 5AA blasts transferred 5/11/2016 BFN
September 2016 IVF #4: 17 follicles growing, premature ovulation through Cetrotide. Retrieval cancelled.
April 2017 IVF #5: 9 follicles growing, 6 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of three blasts. BFN
June 2017: IVF #6: 2 follicles growing, 5 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of 5 3-day embryos. Chemical pregnancy. BFN
Nov/Dec 2017: Donor egg cycle. 33 eggs retrieved, 26 mature. 26 fertilized.
@funkykey Good luck tomorrow! I know how terrifying the whole beta/phone call is. I am hoping so hard that you get great news tomorrow.
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@msd1001 Your updates keep me on the edge of my seat. I'm glad that your last appointment went well and I hope that your bowel issues would ease up soon. I'm rooting for you
@funkykey I'm crossing everything for you, friend!
edited to clarify meaning
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Married 2010
TTC Sept 2012
Clomid with TI Jan, Feb Mar 2013 - All BFN
IUI #1-3, Aug, Sept, Oct 2014 - All BFN
IVF #1 ER 2/19/14, 34R, 33F, 21 on ice, Freeze All
FET #1 4/11/14, Beta on 4/22
Beta #1 1238, Beta #2 - 4000 - BFP
Twin Girls Born 11/25/14
Not sure how we're going to proceed, but it's looking like we'll do some more testing before we do anything, including an ERA and maybe some sperm DNA fragmentation testing.
When she first told me, it felt like my heart had actually stopped, and then I was having trouble breathing. I had to take these big gasping breaths. I tried very hard to get through the phone call without sobbing but failed. Once she was done, it took about 5 minutes for me to start breathing regularly again, I was crying so hard. The dog was very confused!
A couple of months ago, my GP mentioned seeing a specialized grief counsellor. The nurse on the phone today did too. She said something about learning coping strategies, and I said: "I know, but I don't want to learn to cope, because coping means I think this is going to go on longer. I want this to be over."
After, I signed up for a group session with a grief counsellor though, like a real support group.
It's so hard to not lose your mind in all this, and to not think that it's happening because you don't take wheatgrass shots or didn't do acupuncture. I've had a couple of moments like that, where I have to stop and question my sanity. I've done everything by the book, everything that's been prescribed or recommended to me, I really don't understand why this is happening, and neither do my doctors. I can feel myself starting to turn to mysticism and superstition. Like, maybe this happened because the stars are not aligned, or some sh*t.
Ugh. Thanks for the kind words everyone. @PoeMasque - ugh, I know. Whenever I take personality tests, I'm always someone who "values justice over mercy". Things that seem "unfair" bother me. Not that I think that I necessarily deserve a baby, and certainly not that I "deserve" the purgatory of continually trying and failing to have a baby - but it really does bother me how unfair this all seems sometimes. Not even for me, but just in general. Like seeing the most ridiculous, irresponsible couples conceive easily IRL, and then other couples here, who are so thoughtful and so responsible, seeing them struggle. It makes no sense!
FX for everyone else still in their TWW! Hoping it happens for you!
TTC since June 2016
Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016
AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017
Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017
October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total)
Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen
12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP
2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN
Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone
Abnormal SIS Oct 2018
Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis.
12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN
Our journey has come to an end.
Multiple months of Clomid/Femara
End of March 2015: BFP with Femara! Saw heartbeat at 5.5 weeks. M/C at 11 weeks
Multiple more months of Femara
IUI #1 with Femara and Follistem 75 units: BFN
IUI #2 with Follistem 150 units: BFN
Dec 2015: 1st IVF. 10 eggs retrieved with 8 eggs fertilized. 5 day transfer of two embryos with 2 frozen embies. BFN
January 2016: FET #1 2 embryos: BFN
March 2016: 2nd IVF cycle. 4 eggs retrieved with 2 fertilized. Quick two day transfer of both embryos: BFN
April/May 2016 IVF #3. 11 eggs retrieved. 10 mature. 7 fertilized. 2 5AA blasts transferred 5/11/2016 BFN
September 2016 IVF #4: 17 follicles growing, premature ovulation through Cetrotide. Retrieval cancelled.
April 2017 IVF #5: 9 follicles growing, 6 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of three blasts. BFN
June 2017: IVF #6: 2 follicles growing, 5 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of 5 3-day embryos. Chemical pregnancy. BFN
Nov/Dec 2017: Donor egg cycle. 33 eggs retrieved, 26 mature. 26 fertilized.
@msd1001 What happened was so scary and I can't imagine how you are feeling right now. I'll be praying for strength for you and your lil one and hope that everything is going to be alright. ((Hugs))
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Married 2010
TTC Sept 2012
Clomid with TI Jan, Feb Mar 2013 - All BFN
IUI #1-3, Aug, Sept, Oct 2014 - All BFN
IVF #1 ER 2/19/14, 34R, 33F, 21 on ice, Freeze All
FET #1 4/11/14, Beta on 4/22
Beta #1 1238, Beta #2 - 4000 - BFP
Twin Girls Born 11/25/14
Multiple months of Clomid/Femara
End of March 2015: BFP with Femara! Saw heartbeat at 5.5 weeks. M/C at 11 weeks
Multiple more months of Femara
IUI #1 with Femara and Follistem 75 units: BFN
IUI #2 with Follistem 150 units: BFN
Dec 2015: 1st IVF. 10 eggs retrieved with 8 eggs fertilized. 5 day transfer of two embryos with 2 frozen embies. BFN
January 2016: FET #1 2 embryos: BFN
March 2016: 2nd IVF cycle. 4 eggs retrieved with 2 fertilized. Quick two day transfer of both embryos: BFN
April/May 2016 IVF #3. 11 eggs retrieved. 10 mature. 7 fertilized. 2 5AA blasts transferred 5/11/2016 BFN
September 2016 IVF #4: 17 follicles growing, premature ovulation through Cetrotide. Retrieval cancelled.
April 2017 IVF #5: 9 follicles growing, 6 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of three blasts. BFN
June 2017: IVF #6: 2 follicles growing, 5 eggs retrieved with 5 fertilized. Transfer of 5 3-day embryos. Chemical pregnancy. BFN
Nov/Dec 2017: Donor egg cycle. 33 eggs retrieved, 26 mature. 26 fertilized.
Married 2010
TTC Sept 2012
Clomid with TI Jan, Feb Mar 2013 - All BFN
IUI #1-3, Aug, Sept, Oct 2014 - All BFN
IVF #1 ER 2/19/14, 34R, 33F, 21 on ice, Freeze All
FET #1 4/11/14, Beta on 4/22
Beta #1 1238, Beta #2 - 4000 - BFP
Twin Girls Born 11/25/14