Guys - it's simple. Someone said something that hurt someone's feelings. When someone says you hurt my feelings you don't get to argue why you didn't.
With a group that is so wonderfully diverse like we are, it's going to happen. Just an acknowledgement of the hurt caused, doesn't matter if it was intended or not, and an apology is all that is needed here.
I think the thing is that it is not the point whether or not @ssthomps meant to insult @calimom2524 but that SHE DID. It all pretty much could have been cleared up pretty quickly by saying "I didn't mean to insult you or anyone else. I AM SORRY. Here is what I meant..." or something similar.
@livinthesunnylife I agree about Deductibles, but I don't agree that there should be a 'mandated amount' if that is what you meant. We pay 1200 a month for a 3500 individual deductible, and thats the best we can get. I will never be able to even use that insurance as that deductible is too high for us to have to come up with even in payments in the 'reccomended 6 month payoffs' in our area.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@livinthesunnylife the main problem I see with that argument is that most people don't even understand the healthcare decisions they are making. Could they make better decisions about where they get their medications, sure, that's a fairly straightforward one. I don't particularly want my patients deciding which of the lab tests I ordered they are actually going to do or which of their meds is most important though. That starts to play a very dangerous game with people making healthcare decisions that they may not understand. At the same time, with the healthcare system the way it is, doctors are practicing defensive medicine and looking at "what is the worst case scenario" and trying to make sure every possible bad outcome has been excluded. While this is the safest bet, it results in a ton of unnecessary testing and "cover your ass" decisions instead of financially responsible ones. So I'm basically saying, in a situation where patients have more skin in the game, patients would need to be either betree educated about the risk/benefits of the decisions they make or our legal system would have to drastically change to allow doctors to not be constantly afraid of litigation and order every test in the books.
Didn't proofread bc i need to go back to work. Glad people are talking and thinking about the cost of healthcare though!
@livinthesunnylife But arguably health insurance IS your own money, you pay into it every month and the portion your employer pays is part of your compensation package that you earn for the work you do. And people also decide which plans to purchase/enroll in by weighing the out of pocket costs versus what is covered, so I don't really view it as anyone looking at it as a magical bucket of money. Services covered by my health insurance are services I am working for and paying for, so why wouldn't I take advantage?
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
@livinthesunnylife I think my confusion comes from the fact that I don't think I know anyone who treats their insurance like that, haha. But I agree that people should in general be aware of how much things cost and how they spend their money.
@livinthesunnylife just keep in mind a lot of people on employer-provided insurance don't have a ton of options for providers or prescriptions. There is only one place I am allowed to get long-term prescriptions, for example.
Me: 28, DH: 40 Married 9/28/13 DS born 11/12/15 EDD 8/13/18
I don't see the point anymore. Even if an apology was given at this point it would not be seen as sincere.
Totally agree. I don’t even want an apology because it wouldn’t be sincere, she clearly feels like she did nothing wrong so it would be like forcing my 5 year old to apologize for hurting his 3 year old brothers feelings and he does it with zero emotion and only says it because I’m making him. I’m over it and I know where some people stand now so let the dead horse lie where it is without beating it anymore.
please God no MORE guns in school, count me out if there are. I thinking knowing teachers carry guns could cause a problem in itself and I would not be comfortable sending my own DS to school on top of being a teacher myself. There has to be a better solution. I agree on smaller class sizes, more time for students to learn and build on healthy social skills in lu of sooo much academics.
My UO: people who obsess over DSs milestones. “Are you going poop on the potty yet?” “ Omg he still has his Binky?!” “You let him take his lovie to daycare?” STFU. He (hopefully) won’t shit his pants or bring his Binky to college.
DS born 04/22/15, Pregnant again 03/01/17 however loss due to PPROM at 20+6 weeks now TTC rainbow
@legallykate Do you know what your health plan costs your employer annually and what you will cost this year? Every person in here will cost more than they are paying this year, it's not a matter of 'getting your money's worth'.
And that thinking that we should just tap into every available healthcare service without regard to the cost is exactly what is driving up our healthcare costs as a country. People who think you get free chiropractic and massage services through your employer so you may as well go (just an example)? Yeah, it's not free. It might be free out of pocket to you, but claims are created and there is a cost.
The decision of whether the service is needed should not be based on whether insurance is covering it or if you are paying for it. Thinking like that is exactly what's driving up our healthcare costs. Insurance covering something does not make it free money.
People think differently with auto insurance. Everyone knows that auto claims will show up on your driving record and your auto insurance rates will increase so people are judicious with only making claims if they have to. But people don't think like that with health insurance. We are our own problem with the rising cost of healthcare.
My UO. If I were a teacher and asked to carry a gun, I would. I know this isn't for everyone, but I'd do it. I've already invested time and money into the classes and carry permit. I already have my own gun, holster, etc.
I don't think every teacher should be forced to make such a decision, no. But we have armed teachers here, and I think it's great. (I also think teachers should be paid more, but that's obviously a PO.)
My UO. If I were a teacher and asked to carry a gun, I would. I know this isn't for everyone, but I'd do it. I've already invested time and money into the classes and carry permit. I already have my own gun, holster, etc.
I don't think every teacher should be forced to make such a decision, no. But we have armed teachers here, and I think it's great. (I also think teachers should be paid more, but that's obviously a PO.)
This bolded is where I was trying to go. It shouldn't be an 'everyone has to' thing, but you should have the option of getting approval (yes 1000x better screening than regular gun owners/operators) and repeat certifications.
I have 4 separate closets in my classroom that are locked unless I am actively grabbing or putting something into them. Students have never been in them, or even know what all is in there. I could easily safely store a gun in one, and ammo in another across the room from it.
The advice from our local LEOs if we ever see an active shooter, in my concealed carry class, was to confront the shooter. I can't remember the exact stats he had for us, but it was like 85% of shooters will either flee or turn the gun on themselves when confronted. They are behind such an impersonal, long range weapon as to avoid dealing with the consequences of their actions.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@derbysquirrel it's like a small stuffed animal with a little blanket that supposedly they get attached to. But DS could care less. He has this one in his crib, never really touches it.
ETA: I think most people spell it lovey? Not that it really matters.
It’s a little soft cuddly thing that babies/children have and sometimes get attached to. Usually it’s like a square piece of fabric with some sort of mini stuffed animal attached.
@derbysquirrel yes, that ^! My son took to it as an infant and gets really upset when he can’t find it/ doesn’t have it. It’s kind of like his “blanket”
DS born 04/22/15, Pregnant again 03/01/17 however loss due to PPROM at 20+6 weeks now TTC rainbow
I do think people should be conscience of how much things cost but the price of health care is extreme. Because I am an accountant for my company I know that our insurance plan for just one person costs us 3000 a month and that does not include what the employee pays. Now most people do not even get close to using 36,000 a year. We have amazing insurance so it probably is a little higher than average. I do think people take advantage but also insurance companies are not hurting in any way.
My UO: If you would not do something if you had to pay for it yourself, you should not bill it to your insurance. Insurance is not a magical bucket of free money. Americans want to complain about the rising cost of healthcare but they don't make decisions as though it's their own money. One of the reasons the cost of healthcare is rising because people aren't making judicious decisions with their healthcare spending. I think everyone should be on a high deductible healthplan where they have some skin in the game and are pushed to really think through healthcare decisions. I pay out of pocket for all of our prescriptions, so I shop around and get them at the cheapest pharmacy (usually it's Costco)- not many people do that. My epidural was $1200, I wasn't just deciding if I wanted the epidural, I was deciding if it was worth the investment.
I don't care if that epidural cost $12,000. I still would have paid for it. I have high deductible insurance, so I actually did pay for most of it. Worth every penny. ;-)
I do think people should be conscience of how much things cost but the price of health care is extreme. Because I am an accountant for my company I know that our insurance plan for just one person costs us 3000 a month and that does not include what the employee pays. Now most people do not even get close to using 36,000 a year. We have amazing insurance so it probably is a little higher than average. I do think people take advantage but also insurance companies are not hurting in any way.
Yeah I also seriously doubt I have ever cost more than what I/my employer paid. I likely will this year with the pregnancy and delivery, but that is the exception and not the rule for me. I am generally healthy and usually don't hit my deductible (I am on an HDHP plan). I'm certainly not suggesting anyone rifle through their health care plan and be like "oh I need to go to Yoga because it's covered" but I think when you work hard and comprehensive health care is part of your compensation, you should be able to access medical services you need without worrying about the costs.
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
My day has been nuts and I'm just catching up to a firey UO thread. The only thing I have to contribute to is whether Pretty Woman is Cinderella...
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
My girlfriend had a baby while her husband was very very ill. He eventually had a double lung transplant that saved his life. She used a doula because while he was there, he couldn’t walk the halls with her, etc. Could she have skipped it? Sure. But I’m not sure why we are defining ‘need’ here.
i never used one, but if I had no choice in hospitals and had to use one that was much more likely to use interventions and cs, I’d have felt I needed one to help be my voice when I may not have been emotionally or physically able to stand up for my wishes.
I mean we we don’t NEED much beyond diapers a way to feed and clothe the babies but certainly there are more things we feel are needs. No one s forced into using one so why on earth juDge a mama for wanting someone who’s there to support her completely?
My parents never really censored what we watched and I turned out fine. DS probably watches things he shouldn't. Right now, he's a fan of Big Brother hahahaha Whoopsie!
We're watching the Harry Potter movies now because I have never seen them and I don't get the hooplah. They're okay but I will never watch them again once we've churned them all out hahaha
To each their own on the doula thing. Whatever someone wants and makes them comfortable.
I agree about the Hdhp - it changed how I approached health care and if nothing else made me pay more attention to the costs of services and meds. Dh sees it a lot in his work (pharmacy) as well.
Fir me the reason is more big picture. Health care costs are crazy, insurance is a mess. I don’t think having skin in the game *that you are forced to pay attention to* is a bad thing and maybe consumer awareness could affect some change.
I watched Pulp Fiction with my mom when it came out. That one was confusing. I was 9. I watched whatever they did, and I don't think it ended up too badly. I let my teens watch GOT, but it can get awkward for everyone if we're in the same room.
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
@melbel0824 I'm saying that people should not treat health insurance like a magical bucket of free money and they should actually look at the costs of their healthcare and make a decision as if it were their own money.
It's probably not a really interesting UO, but it might be something that a lot of people have never thought about.
I know I'm late to this and there's way more discussion but I would just like to point out if anyone actually knows of a magical bucket of free money could you point me in the right direction? I could really use a magical bucket of free money.
@livinthesunnylife I’m not sure I agree with you, simply because most things covered by insurance can be beneficial to your health, and doesn’t better overall health and preventative care lead to lower healthcare costs in the long run?
For instance, during my first pregnancy, insurance covered 50 chiropractic visits a year. I definitely needed them, and I didn’t have to worry about being able to afford them. Now I have different insurance, and it doesn’t cover any. Whatever I pay go towards my deductible, but I’m paying OOP. That causes me to make a choice as to whether I can go longer without them for my sciatica. If my sciatica gets severe enough, I could potentially be referred to PT, which insurance may or may not cover, but would certainly lead do higher costs of healthcare than a chiro visit. Or I could let the pain get so severe that it contributes to depression. Or I could self medicate with my drug of choice, which could lead to poor outcomes in my health down the line.
All that to say that it isn’t a cut and dry thing. Any preventative or beneficial service you can receive through insurance is a positive thing, because unfortunately when it comes to taking care of health or paying a bill, most people won’t choose their health.
I’d for sure get a doula if I was dead set against an epidural because I’d need someone to convince me I wasn’t dying and DH wouldn’t be good at that. So I’d need a doula. Since I’ll probably get an epidural, I guess I’ll be okay with just DH
My Mom was a single mom with me. My parents divorced when I was 14 months but my dad lived in Singapore when I was born. My mom’s family all lived out of state. To my knowledge, no one was with her when I was born. I so badly wish she were still alive because I constantly am in awe of how amazing she was and how much she did and sacrificed for me, that I didn’t even realize until I became a mom. My popular opinion is that single moms are amazingly bad ass.
I’m a solid no on teachers having guns. When I was a teacher, my husband was constantly telling me not to be a hero. Just to keep myself safe. But yeah, instinct would be to keep your students safe. I’m hoping that students reaction to this last shooting will be the thing that does create change. It’s sad to me that students and teachers are practicing what to do in a mass shooting scenario. At least we were when I was teaching.
I also cannot get into Harry Potter and think it’s kind of dumb.
Did you guys here that the SRO at the Florida school didn’t enter the school during the shooting? He’s been fired.
He didnt do his damn job. He chickened out. The one person paid to protect.
Which is why I’m team “if they want to carry a gun, let them”. (With proper training and such) A lot of schools in the US already allow faculty to carry. Everyone should jump on board.
I know a lot of people don’t agree. And I’m sorry. But we aren’t just fighting guns. Like the recent Chinese knife crazy man who killed several dozen. Injured more. There’s always going to be something. And people should have a right to defend themselves.
Also. Despite the media fear mongering. Studies show we actually live in a safer world overall. All things included. We hear about stuff more. Because social media. But we are safer today than we were 50 or 100 years ago.
I’ve had the craziest few days and I’m catching up, finally.
I won’t touch the doula topic, seems like that’s been covered pretty well.
As for armed teachers, that’s a hard hell no from me. It goes beyond proper training and education of gun use/what to do in a life threatening situation.
Who is responsible for the safety of the gun while it’s not in use? Do teachers carry at all times during the day? How do we prevent students from grabbing gun off a teacher if the teacher is walking through the hallways? Who is responsible if, during an altercation, an innocent child gets accidentally shot?
There are way too many variables to consider teachers being armed in schools as beneficial.
And if teachers had the option to volunteer for this, do parents then have the option to pull their child from that class and put in a gun-free classroom? And if parents aren’t comfortable with guns in school, do they have to just deal with it? Where is their voice/say in the matter?
Having guns in schools, to me, is absolutely not the answer.
How about allocating budget funds for bullet proof glass in the windows/doors? More security/security cameras? Special door jams that would prevent an intruder from entering the classroom? Or adding a bulletproof material to classroom doors?
There are other options out there. Gun laws and regulations is another matter altogether. We just need to work on and focus on making schools safe, whatever it takes (minus guns). Figure out a solution to keep our kids safe in SCHOOL. That, in my opinion, is the biggest area our country should be focusing on.
We can battle about gun laws another time. Let’s just keep our damn kids safe, FFS.
^^^yes yes yes! Everything you said. As a teacher, I will try to protect my student the best I can. But I refuse to carry a gun and would not at all feel comfortable with colleagues carrying them. There are too many variables. Personally, if my school started implementing this horrible excuse of a solution, I would leave teaching.
I don't care for pizza. At least not the traditional pizza with red sauce. Some made with white sauce or herbed olive oil ate pretty great. I'm actually not a fan of tomato based sauces in general. Marinara and ketchup do nothing for me. I love fresh tomatoes, though.
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
@derbysquirrel my best friend once went on a date with a guy who told her he didn't like pizza. There was no second date (he was also kind of a douche but the pizza thing pushed her over the edge).
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
I don't care for pizza. At least not the traditional pizza with red sauce. Some made with white sauce or herbed olive oil ate pretty great. I'm actually not a fan of tomato based sauces in general. Marinara and ketchup do nothing for me. I love fresh tomatoes, though.
GASP!!!!! I’m from CT. Pizza is LIFE!!!! I even had it tonight mmmm
I had pizza tonight too. Mine was with an herbed olive oil, but I had a slice of DH's traditional pepperoni. It made me remember that I really don't care for it
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
I never even considered a doula because I knew my mom would be there and I was weirded out by the idea of getting such intimate support from a stranger. I can see considering it in different circumstances, though.
Hell no on arming teachers. DH is a teacher, and I think he would step between a shooter and his students. And I would be incredibly proud of him if he did. Lucky for me, @msmonalisavito just said most of what I wanted to say. The point is, we need to find a way to prevent the situation, not start an arms race with mass shooters.
I strongly disagree with @livinthesunnylife. I think a huge problem with our healthcare system is that so much focus is on cost, not on what is best for the patient. All healthcare decisions should be made by the doctor and patient agreeing on what's best. I think it's horrible that we live in a world where you have to choose whether or not to follow your doctor's advice, based on whether you can afford it. Wasn't there a teacher who just died from the flu because she couldn't afford the antiviral medication that she was prescribed? Not to mention everyone who chooses not to seek care because they can't afford the cost. Or who doesn't get any medical care until there's a problem that could have been prevented. And sure, some things like epidurals can be seen as optional. But I think mine gave me a chance to rest a dilate, and I could easily have had to have additional interventions if I hadn't gotten it (we're getting in defining "need" again). And even if it's just for comfort, I don't think comfort during childbirth should be a privilege that's only available to those who can afford it.
Harry Potter haters and now pizza haters?! GTFO with that nonsense.
I haven’t been on here all day and just caught up. Add me to the 100% hell the eff no on guns in schools. Zero of my many teacher friends want that responsibility, and SO many things could and I’m positive *would* go wrong.
Single moms rock, I would for sure get a doula if it were in the budget, and while I adore Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts annoys me in most movies.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
Re: Unpopular Opinion 2/22
With a group that is so wonderfully diverse like we are, it's going to happen. Just an acknowledgement of the hurt caused, doesn't matter if it was intended or not, and an apology is all that is needed here.
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Didn't proofread bc i need to go back to work. Glad people are talking and thinking about the cost of healthcare though!
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
please God no MORE guns in school, count me out if there are. I thinking knowing teachers carry guns could cause a problem in itself and I would not be comfortable sending my own DS to school on top of being a teacher myself. There has to be a better solution. I agree on smaller class sizes, more time for students to learn and build on healthy social skills in lu of sooo much academics.
My UO: people who obsess over DSs milestones. “Are you going poop on the potty yet?” “ Omg he still has his Binky?!” “You let him take his lovie to daycare?”
STFU. He (hopefully) won’t shit his pants or bring his Binky to college.
And that thinking that we should just tap into every available healthcare service without regard to the cost is exactly what is driving up our healthcare costs as a country. People who think you get free chiropractic and massage services through your employer so you may as well go (just an example)? Yeah, it's not free. It might be free out of pocket to you, but claims are created and there is a cost.
The decision of whether the service is needed should not be based on whether insurance is covering it or if you are paying for it. Thinking like that is exactly what's driving up our healthcare costs. Insurance covering something does not make it free money.
People think differently with auto insurance. Everyone knows that auto claims will show up on your driving record and your auto insurance rates will increase so people are judicious with only making claims if they have to. But people don't think like that with health insurance. We are our own problem with the rising cost of healthcare.
I don't think every teacher should be forced to make such a decision, no. But we have armed teachers here, and I think it's great. (I also think teachers should be paid more, but that's obviously a PO.)
What is a lovie?
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
I have 4 separate closets in my classroom that are locked unless I am actively grabbing or putting something into them. Students have never been in them, or even know what all is in there. I could easily safely store a gun in one, and ammo in another across the room from it.
The advice from our local LEOs if we ever see an active shooter, in my concealed carry class, was to confront the shooter. I can't remember the exact stats he had for us, but it was like 85% of shooters will either flee or turn the gun on themselves when confronted. They are behind such an impersonal, long range weapon as to avoid dealing with the consequences of their actions.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
ETA: I think most people spell it lovey? Not that it really matters.
ETA
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
The only thing I have to contribute to is whether Pretty Woman is Cinderella...
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
i never used one, but if I had no choice in hospitals and had to use one that was much more likely to use interventions and cs, I’d have felt I needed one to help be my voice when I may not have been emotionally or physically able to stand up for my wishes.
I mean we we don’t NEED much beyond diapers a way to feed and clothe the babies but certainly there are more things we feel are needs. No one s forced into using one so why on earth juDge a mama for wanting someone who’s there to support her completely?
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
We're watching the Harry Potter movies now because I have never seen them and I don't get the hooplah. They're okay but I will never watch them again once we've churned them all out hahaha
To each their own on the doula thing. Whatever someone wants and makes them comfortable.
I love massages, I am getting one Saturday
Fir me the reason is more big picture. Health care costs are crazy, insurance is a mess. I don’t think having skin in the game *that you are forced to pay attention to* is a bad thing and maybe consumer awareness could affect some change.
Oh and I hate the term ‘little man’ too.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
For instance, during my first pregnancy, insurance covered 50 chiropractic visits a year. I definitely needed them, and I didn’t have to worry about being able to afford them. Now I have different insurance, and it doesn’t cover any. Whatever I pay go towards my
deductible, but I’m paying OOP. That causes me to make a choice as to whether I can go longer without them for my sciatica. If my sciatica gets severe enough, I could potentially be referred to PT, which insurance may or may not cover, but would certainly lead do higher costs of healthcare than a chiro visit. Or I could let the pain get so severe that it contributes to depression. Or I could self medicate with my drug of choice, which could lead to poor outcomes in my health down the line.
All that to say that it isn’t a cut and dry thing. Any preventative or beneficial service you can receive through insurance is a positive thing, because unfortunately when it comes to taking care of health or paying a bill, most people won’t choose their health.
I’d for sure get a doula if I was dead set against an epidural because I’d need someone to convince me I wasn’t dying and DH wouldn’t be good at that. So I’d need a doula. Since I’ll probably get an epidural, I guess I’ll be okay with just DH
My Mom was a single mom with me. My parents divorced when I was 14 months but my dad lived in Singapore when I was born. My mom’s family all lived out of state. To my knowledge, no one was with her when I was born. I so badly wish she were still alive because I constantly am in awe of how amazing she was and how much she did and sacrificed for me, that I didn’t even realize until I became a mom. My popular opinion is that single moms are amazingly bad ass.
I’m a solid no on teachers having guns. When I was a teacher, my husband was constantly telling me not to be a hero. Just to keep myself safe. But yeah, instinct would be to keep your students safe. I’m hoping that students reaction to this last shooting will be the thing that does create change. It’s sad to me that students and teachers are practicing what to do in a mass shooting scenario. At least we were when I was teaching.
I also cannot get into Harry Potter and think it’s kind of dumb.
He didnt do his damn job. He chickened out. The one person paid to protect.
Which is why I’m team “if they want to carry a gun, let them”. (With proper training and such) A lot of schools in the US already allow faculty to carry. Everyone should jump on board.
I know a lot of people don’t agree. And I’m sorry. But we aren’t just fighting guns. Like the recent Chinese knife crazy man who killed several dozen. Injured more. There’s always going to be something. And people should have a right to defend themselves.
Also. Despite the media fear mongering. Studies show we actually live in a safer world overall. All things included. We hear about stuff more. Because social media. But we are safer today than we were 50 or 100 years ago.
Something to ponder.
I won’t touch the doula topic, seems like that’s been covered pretty well.
As for armed teachers, that’s a hard hell no from me. It goes beyond proper training and education of gun use/what to do in a life threatening situation.
Who is responsible for the safety of the gun while it’s not in use? Do teachers carry at all times during the day? How do we prevent students from grabbing gun off a teacher if the teacher is walking through the hallways? Who is responsible if, during an altercation, an innocent child gets accidentally shot?
There are way too many variables to consider teachers being armed in schools as beneficial.
And if teachers had the option to volunteer for this, do parents then have the option to pull their child from that class and put in a gun-free classroom? And if parents aren’t comfortable with guns in school, do they have to just deal with it? Where is their voice/say in the matter?
Having guns in schools, to me, is absolutely not the answer.
How about allocating budget funds for bullet proof glass in the windows/doors? More security/security cameras? Special door jams that would prevent an intruder from entering the classroom? Or adding a bulletproof material to classroom doors?
There are other options out there. Gun laws and regulations is another matter altogether. We just need to work on and focus on making schools safe, whatever it takes (minus guns). Figure out a solution to keep our kids safe in SCHOOL. That, in my opinion, is the biggest area our country should be focusing on.
We can battle about gun laws another time. Let’s just keep our damn kids safe, FFS.
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
Hell no on arming teachers. DH is a teacher, and I think he would step between a shooter and his students. And I would be incredibly proud of him if he did. Lucky for me, @msmonalisavito just said most of what I wanted to say. The point is, we need to find a way to prevent the situation, not start an arms race with mass shooters.
I strongly disagree with @livinthesunnylife. I think a huge problem with our healthcare system is that so much focus is on cost, not on what is best for the patient. All healthcare decisions should be made by the doctor and patient agreeing on what's best. I think it's horrible that we live in a world where you have to choose whether or not to follow your doctor's advice, based on whether you can afford it. Wasn't there a teacher who just died from the flu because she couldn't afford the antiviral medication that she was prescribed? Not to mention everyone who chooses not to seek care because they can't afford the cost. Or who doesn't get any medical care until there's a problem that could have been prevented. And sure, some things like epidurals can be seen as optional. But I think mine gave me a chance to rest a dilate, and I could easily have had to have additional interventions if I hadn't gotten it (we're getting in defining "need" again). And even if it's just for comfort, I don't think comfort during childbirth should be a privilege that's only available to those who can afford it.
And pizza is delicious.
I haven’t been on here all day and just caught up. Add me to the 100% hell the eff no on guns in schools. Zero of my many teacher friends want that responsibility, and SO many things could and I’m positive *would* go wrong.
Single moms rock, I would for sure get a doula if it were in the budget, and while I adore Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts annoys me in most movies.
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!