The single mom comment was made because I could see if a single mom was going to be in a room by herself why she would want support. My mom was a single mom of three girls so trust I know exactly how bad ass they are. Doesn’t negate that if they don’t have the necessary support why it would make sense for them to hire a Doula. A single mom is faced with a lot more challenges and instead of having support in the delivery room the support may have to stay home to help with the children. This is just an example.
While that may be true, you yourself are not a single mom and will never understand the struggle. It was still an insensitive comment, even if your mom was also a single mom that doesn't give you or anyone the right to lump us into a category. I'm sure it wasn't meant in ill will but a simple apology for the insensitivity would have gone a lot further than the "I can make this comment because my mom was a single mom."
It is called Unpopular Opinion for a reason. And...... I was not pulling the “My mom was a single mom” card. I was giving you an example to show you the comment wasn’t meant to be insensitive.
@livinthesunnylife I get what you are saying just didn't read that way to me originally. If anyone was handing out free massages or free doulas, I'm sure lots of us would suddenly need them!
As a teacher I think giving teachers guns is the worst idea ever. One of the more recent incidents in a school involved a police officer’s gun being taken and fired by a student. No one is hurt, thankfully, but if that can happen to a professional, how much more likely is it to happen to a regular civilian? It will do more harm than good, and I find it absurd that people think this is an actual solution.
100%. My mom is a high school teacher. She is *the best* in almost every way, but she can barely make it three months without dropping and cracking her iPhone, she should not be responsible in any way for a lethal weapon. And teachers aren't paid even nearly enough to have the responsibility to teach kids, much less to carry the burden of having to save their lives in a shootout. Eff that. I am sick of hearing of "heroic" teachers who save students. I told my mom to tell her students they are on their own and run or hide, I need my mom.
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
The single mom comment was made because I could see if a single mom was going to be in a room by herself why she would want support. My mom was a single mom of three girls so trust I know exactly how bad ass they are. Doesn’t negate that if they don’t have the necessary support why it would make sense for them to hire a Doula. A single mom is faced with a lot more challenges and instead of having support in the delivery room the support may have to stay home to help with the children. This is just an example.
While that may be true, you yourself are not a single mom and will never understand the struggle. It was still an insensitive comment, even if your mom was also a single mom that doesn't give you or anyone the right to lump us into a category. I'm sure it wasn't meant in ill will but a simple apology for the insensitivity would have gone a lot further than the "I can make this comment because my mom was a single mom."
It is called Unpopular Opinion for a reason. And I was not pulling the “Mom was a single mom” card. I was giving you an example to show you the comment wasn’t meant to be insensitive.
Yes and your Unpopular Opinion was about a doula, there was no need to take single moms down with it. We can do it alone. We have and we will. I'm annoyed AF because you still don't see that you hurt someone's feelings and you're continuing to defend yourself. I don't care what you feel about doulas in any way, it's the single mom comment that was unnecessary. Am I taking it personally? Absolutely. As far as I know I'm the only single mom here so I probably took it differently than anyone else so let this be a lesson to everyone that something you may feel is a totally ok thing to say may be mom shaming to someone else.
@legallykate So you are saying that a person who is a professional teacher, isn't 'heroic' for attempting to save lives? So they not only followed their schools instructions/plan for that potential situation but they CHOSE to go above and beyond that and you are 'sick of hearing about it'?
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
The single mom comment was made because I could see if a single mom was going to be in a room by herself why she would want support. My mom was a single mom of three girls so trust I know exactly how bad ass they are. Doesn’t negate that if they don’t have the necessary support why it would make sense for them to hire a Doula. A single mom is faced with a lot more challenges and instead of having support in the delivery room the support may have to stay home to help with the children. This is just an example.
While that may be true, you yourself are not a single mom and will never understand the struggle. It was still an insensitive comment, even if your mom was also a single mom that doesn't give you or anyone the right to lump us into a category. I'm sure it wasn't meant in ill will but a simple apology for the insensitivity would have gone a lot further than the "I can make this comment because my mom was a single mom."
It is called Unpopular Opinion for a reason. And I was not pulling the “Mom was a single mom” card. I was giving you an example to show you the comment wasn’t meant to be insensitive.
Yes and your Unpopular Opinion was about a doula, there was no need to take single moms down with it. We can do it alone. We have and we will. I'm annoyed AF because you still don't see that you hurt someone's feelings and you're continuing to defend yourself. I don't care what you feel about doulas in any way, it's the single mom comment that was unnecessary. Am I taking it personally? Absolutely. As far as I know I'm the only single mom here so I probably took it differently than anyone else so let this be a lesson to everyone that something you may feel is a totally ok thing to say may be mom shaming to someone else.
Again- I was giving you an example to show you the comment wasn’t meant to be insensitive.
@legallykate@lalala2004 As a teacher, I agree. I am absolutely not comfortable with extra guns in school. I feel like that's exacerbating the problem . I would feel even less safe knowing others may not be responsible in their classroom with the firearms.
@doctormom33 haha...That's cause sometimes words are hard and I can't make the keyboard say what I want it to.
I think the statement would have been taken differently if @ssthomps had said, "I don't understand the cost vs. value equation of a doula" instead of saying she "doesn't get the point". The point is obvious. If that's not a valuable investment to you, say it that way.
@legallykate So you are saying that a person who is a professional teacher, isn't 'heroic' for attempting to save lives? So they not only followed their schools instructions/plan for that potential situation but they CHOSE to go above and beyond that and you are 'sick of hearing about it'?
I can’t speak for her, but I’m sick of hearing about it because it’s sick and horrible that it keeps having to happen. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Would I take a bullet for my students? Yeah, probably. I’d sooner do that than have a gun. Should I have to even think about that? Hell no.
@ssthomps when you’ve offended someone, the polite response is to apologize for offending, not to argue with them about whether or not they should have been offended.
@princesslockness I think if I read what @legallykate is saying right, what she's saying is there shouldn't be an expectation on teachers that they throw themselves in front of the gunman. My sister is a high school teacher in a dangerous neighborhood, maybe 5ft tall and maybe 100lbs. Scares the crap out of me that people would put this expectation on someone like her. She doesn't stand a chance.
@ssthomps I think in this case, although you didn't mean your comment to be insensitive, it came off that way to others. I don't believe you meant to hurt anybody, but regardless you did.
DH was so completely against a doula and after all was said and done he will shout from the rooftops of how valuable she was and how we probably should have paid her more.
I’m not teaching anymore but HELL NO to arming teachers with guns. How about smaller class sizes, more counselors, more school psychologists, less inappropriate testing, a realistic budget for school supplies? Have you guys seen the hashtag #armmewith going around? Some good ideas.
My UO: I hate when people refer to DS as “little man.” You don’t call baby girls little woman, so can we just put that phrase in the Don’t Ever Say category?
@ecwk our definition of needs are different, and that's okay. No judgement to anyone who thinks massages improve their lives just as I have no judgement towards anyone who thinks a doula improves their birth experience. I personally struggle with the definition of "need" as it's often used as I've watched family members end up in very poor financial situations for things they think they need.
What she said! Everyones needs are different and often I see people’s “needs” put them in horrible financial situations.
Yeah that’s my point. You can’t make a sweeping statement saying what does and does not qualify as a need. That’s exactly what I was saying. What is not a need to one is a need to another and vice versa.
@ssthomps when you’ve offended someone, the polite response is to apologize for offending, not to argue with them about whether or not they should have been offended.
So now I am getting a lesson on etiquette? I said it was not meant to be insensitive. I was attempting to explain my statement not argue but clearly that was and is not good enough?
First things first, can we all please stop casting judgement, even here in an UO thread, about what other moms decide to do? It's just not anyone's place to say that they don't agree with another mom's method. I don't care what you need to get through labor and birth (as long as it's legal and medically appropriate lol!), if you need it your bad ass self deserves it.
This is of course assuming that the mom's needs and methods are legal and in the best interest of the kids.
As far as arming teachers, I was in the Army and I have to say that no one should be handed a weapon and asked to defend themselves or others unless they are 1000% comfortable and confident in their ability to do so. Just arming teachers is never going to be the answer, if a teacher isn't confident in their abiltity to fire a weapon that weapon will have a greater percentage chance of being used for the wrong purpose.
Now if you have weapons experience, the confidence and feel like going through a rigorous screening and qualification process, maybe I can see it. Maybe.
As to the heroic teachers, I'm not being stirring the pot or judging here because there are a lot of emotions surrounding this topic but if I were in the position to protect anyone's kids, ANYONE's kids from something like a mass shooting I would do it without hesitation. Because I hope with all my heart that someone would protect my kid in the same scenario.
@legallykate So you are saying that a person who is a professional teacher, isn't 'heroic' for attempting to save lives? So they not only followed their schools instructions/plan for that potential situation but they CHOSE to go above and beyond that and you are 'sick of hearing about it'?
Stuck in the box, but what I am saying is I am sick of hearing about teachers DYING and being hailed as heroes for saving students from teenagers who have no business having their hands on semiautomatic weapons. Teachers did not sign up to save students from semiautomatic weapons, and they do not get compensated nearly enough to do so. If schools are instructing teachers to use themselves as shields to save students from shooters (my mom has not been given that instruction, thankfully), then I won't mince words - f*ck that. Nor will I ever expect my daughter's underpaid teachers to shield her from bullets.
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
First things first, can we all please stop casting judgement, even here in an UO thread, about what other moms decide to do? It's just not anyone's place to say that they don't agree with another mom's method. I don't care what you need to get through labor and birth (as long as it's legal and medically appropriate lol!), if you need it your bad ass self deserves it.
This is of course assuming that the mom's needs and methods are legal and in the best interest of the kids.
As far as arming teachers, I was in the Army and I have to say that no one should be handed a weapon and asked to defend themselves or others unless they are 1000% comfortable and confident in their ability to do so. Just arming teachers is never going to be the answer, if a teacher isn't confident in their abiltity to fire a weapon that weapon will have a greater percentage chance of being used for the wrong purpose.
Now if you have weapons experience, the confidence and feel like going through a rigorous screening and qualification process, maybe I can see it. Maybe.
As to the heroic teachers, I'm not being stirring the pot or judging here because there are a lot of emotions surrounding this topic but if I were in the position to protect anyone's kids, ANYONE's kids from something like a mass shooting I would do it without hesitation. Because I hope with all my heart that someone would protect my kid in the same scenario.
I would hope and pray my daughters teacher attempted to shield her, but I can’t expect that from her. She didn’t sign up for that when she decided to become a teacher.
@livinthesunnylife@legallykate Its not really an expectation to put yourself between anyone in these situations, at least in any district I've been in. Our instructions are to get everyone into a corner/spot where they aren't seen from any window, lock the door, turn the lights off, and be silent.
It still shouldn't take away from people being a hero and famed for it, when they chose to take that step. Would you ever say you were sick of hearing or celebrating someone who saved lives in a fire but lost their own? No? Then why ever make such a callous statement about teachers or any other situation. (general you, not you as an individual)
Just because it is a *common* occurrence doesn't make it any less heroic or worthy of praise than if it were a 1 in 100 years occurrence.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@livinthesunnylife@legallykate Its not really an expectation to put yourself between anyone in these situations, at least in any district I've been in. Our instructions are to get everyone into a corner/spot where they aren't seen from any window, lock the door, turn the lights off, and be silent.
It still shouldn't take away from people being a hero and famed for it, when they chose to take that step. Would you ever say you were sick of hearing or celebrating someone who saved lives in a fire but lost their own? No? Then why ever make such a callous statement about teachers or any other situation. (general you, not you as an individual)
Just because it is a *common* occurrence doesn't make it any less heroic or worthy of praise than if it were a 1 in 100 years occurrence.
I think we are talking around each other here, I am not discrediting anyone's heroic actions, I am saying we should never have to hear about teachers having to act heroically in the first place. And this is very different from "teacher heroically saved students from totally unpredictable accidental lab fire," this is "once again, teacher making $30k a year and forced to buy own school supplies sacrificed his or her life when faced with 18 year old with AR-15."
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
I love Julia Roberts. Pretty Woman is one of my all time favorite movies.
I was a single mom. And it sucked. And I had a lot of help. My mom watched my littlest one and then she’d drive to my house and wait for my older two to get off the bus. And I was a pretty tough cookie. I was a military cop. I served in Iraq. I work in construction. I’m no snowflake. Lol. But it was hard. Especially when EX-SO wasn’t in the picture at ALL!! I don’t care for a doula now. And I wouldn’t have then. And it has nothing to do with my relationship status. And has everything to do with I just don’t want one. Lol.
@legallykate We may be talking around each other, but the way you originally phrase it lit a bonfire in my emotions. It is fair or right that this is something that I have to think about or decide, no. Is it a part of the world where I live and am raising children, yes. Can I teach and preach change to my students, staff, and children, yes and I do. Do I actually expect it to get better during my or their lifetimes, no.
Hence why I said arm teachers, after they have gone rigorous training and evaluations. I (personally) will and have stepped between my students and a threat. I should at least have a fighting chance to actually save them, if I am put into that type of situation again.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@ssthomps when you’ve offended someone, the polite response is to apologize for offending, not to argue with them about whether or not they should have been offended.
So now I am getting a lesson on etiquette? I said it was not meant to be insensitive. I was attempting to explain my statement not argue but clearly that was and is not good enough?
wrong emoji used.
You're not getting a lesson on anything and your response clearly shows you still don't get it. You continue "explaining" and making it worse. What you said came across as insensitive, even if that's not how it was meant, and the polite thing to do is apologize for that. Your "attempting to explain your statement" made it worse when all that was necessary was a simple "I'm sorry I hurt anyone's feelings, that wasn't my intent." The phrase digging a deeper hole for yourself keeps coming to mind.
Food for thought. My brother in law is a deputy. He makes $27k a year. I know because it’s in the paper every year. Required by law to be financially transparent. And he has to buy his own gun. And bullets. Isn’t that crazy.
Isn't Pretty Woman just a modern take on Cinderella? Only instead of the Fairy Godmother, you have Hector Elizondo? :P
I don't remember anyone in Cinderalla being a hooker? That seems very un-Disney esq
Lol. No but it’s the same premise. Taking a beautiful young woman from poverty and she gets her fairy tale. Her happily ever after. Pretty woman is an adult movie!
@princesslockness It is admirable that you want to be able to protect your students in that manner as an educator, but I think you are in a very small minority (you are actually the ONLY teacher I have seen express that opinion), and I will never ever agree with the opinion that more guns is the answer to our current gun violence problem. And I refuse to just throw up my hands and accept that there will never be any restrictions on gun ownership or consequences for gun violence for "responsible gun owners" and "law abiding gun sellers" who still somehow let guns get in the hands of murderers. The aftermath of this shooting feels different, and this generation of kids seems different, and I need to believe that change is possible and will come.
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
Speaking of arming teachers. I am on the side of gun regulations not arming teachers but if we do they definitely need to properly trained. I just saw where in my home town they are talking about letting teachers bring their own guns to schools as protection... no training or guidance... this absolutely terrifies me. I can not believe the board is actually considering doing it this way.
@ssthomps when you’ve offended someone, the polite response is to apologize for offending, not to argue with them about whether or not they should have been offended.
So now I am getting a lesson on etiquette? I said it was not meant to be insensitive. I was attempting to explain my statement not argue but clearly that was and is not good enough?
wrong emoji used.
You're not getting a lesson on anything and your response clearly shows you still don't get it. You continue "explaining" and making it worse. What you said came across as insensitive, even if that's not how it was meant, and the polite thing to do is apologize for that. Your "attempting to explain your statement" made it worse when all that was necessary was a simple "I'm sorry I hurt anyone's feelings, that wasn't my intent." The phrase digging a deeper hole for yourself keeps coming to mind.
I'm beginning to think we either need to re-title this to "Popular Opinions", or just stop having it altogether. I don't mind differences of opinion, and discussing it all out. Or maybe I'm just low tolerance for drama today after dealing with my dramalicious best friend all damn night, but good grief. The ability for some people to jump to fantastical conclusions and infer what was never stated or meant in an opinion is just amazing to me. :P
From my reading, I don't think she ever meant to imply that single mothers are weaklings who need more help than a married mother, or that they can't do it alone. She was just stating she could see how such a service would be more useful to single moms because they often literally don't have the customary support or knowledgeable care advocate. Which honestly I don't see that as being untrue or somehow a sign of weakness either. There are always going to be mold-busting outliers with every group of people where things don't fit the norm.
Could it have been worded differently? Maybe. But it wasn't. I didn't see anything horrible about it as it was written. *shrug*
I'm married to a wonderful man who has been incredibly supportive throughout all of my various medical emergencies, who isn't squeamish about blood or things like that, and while I have no doubt he'll be slightly clueless during it all since we're both new to it, I think he'll rise to the occasion when I'm giving birth with potential assistance from the staff. While it might be nice to have the experienced person there helping me and my husband through the stages, I personally can't afford the added expense of a doula. Maybe if my insurance paid for it, or part of it, I'd be more interested. But they don't. So I'm going with hope that the nurses, doctors, and other medical staff around me are going to get me through it successfully. And given the amazing experience I had when I was going through the hospitalization and procedures for my miscarriage, if the birthing staff are cut from the same cloth, I think I'm in good hands.
As for the other UO, I don't want armed teachers. That's not their job. They're barely getting by in most regards in this country as far as adequate pay, respect, or anything else. They're expected to work miracles with our children with so very little given to them. It's an amazingly thankless job, where without them, we'd all be up a creek right now. Mad props to teachers, you do what I never could. But I don't think arming them and expecting them to shoot armed terrorists is the answer. I'd rather see that extra money instead spent on much needed school infrastructure, teacher pay, added security measure that actually work, and improving the educational system in general. Two wrongs don't make a right, and more guns aren't the answer either.
My UO: If you would not do something if you had to pay for it yourself, you should not bill it to your insurance. Insurance is not a magical bucket of free money. Americans want to complain about the rising cost of healthcare but they don't make decisions as though it's their own money. One of the reasons the cost of healthcare is rising because people aren't making judicious decisions with their healthcare spending. I think everyone should be on a high deductible healthplan where they have some skin in the game and are pushed to really think through healthcare decisions. I pay out of pocket for all of our prescriptions, so I shop around and get them at the cheapest pharmacy (usually it's Costco)- not many people do that. My epidural was $1200, I wasn't just deciding if I wanted the epidural, I was deciding if it was worth the investment.
@neeraja_k of course you didn’t see it any other way because it didn’t pertain to you. Again, someone telling me why I shouldn’t be hurt. I guess I shouldn’t feel my own feelings then cuz “it’s not what she meant.”
I'm beginning to think we either need to re-title this to "Popular Opinions", or just stop having it altogether. I don't mind differences of opinion, and discussing it all out. Or maybe I'm just low tolerance for drama today after dealing with my dramalicious best friend all damn night, but good grief. The ability for some people to jump to fantastical conclusions and infer what was never stated or meant in an opinion is just amazing to me. :P
From my reading, I don't think she ever meant to imply that single mothers are weaklings who need more help than a married mother, or that they can't do it alone. She was just stating she could see how such a service would be more useful to single moms because they often literally don't have the customary support or knowledgeable care advocate. Which honestly I don't see that as being untrue or somehow a sign of weakness either. There are always going to be mold-busting outliers with every group of people where things don't fit the norm.
Could it have been worded differently? Maybe. But it wasn't. I didn't see anything horrible about it as it was written. *shrug*
So you have one interpretation of what was said but it bothers you that other people have a different interpretation? Ok....
@melbel0824 I'm saying that people should not treat health insurance like a magical bucket of free money and they should actually look at the costs of their healthcare and make a decision as if it were their own money.
It's probably not a really interesting UO, but it might be something that a lot of people have never thought about.
Re: Unpopular Opinion 2/22
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I think the statement would have been taken differently if @ssthomps had said, "I don't understand the cost vs. value equation of a doula" instead of saying she "doesn't get the point". The point is obvious. If that's not a valuable investment to you, say it that way.
My sister is a high school teacher in a dangerous neighborhood, maybe 5ft tall and maybe 100lbs. Scares the crap out of me that people would put this expectation on someone like her. She doesn't stand a chance.
I’m not teaching anymore but HELL NO to arming teachers with guns. How about smaller class sizes, more counselors, more school psychologists, less inappropriate testing, a realistic budget for school supplies? Have you guys seen the hashtag #armmewith going around? Some good ideas.
My UO: I hate when people refer to DS as “little man.” You don’t call baby girls little woman, so can we just put that phrase in the Don’t Ever Say category?
wrong emoji used.
First things first, can we all please stop casting judgement, even here in an UO thread, about what other moms decide to do? It's just not anyone's place to say that they don't agree with another mom's method. I don't care what you need to get through labor and birth (as long as it's legal and medically appropriate lol!), if you need it your bad ass self deserves it.
This is of course assuming that the mom's needs and methods are legal and in the best interest of the kids.
As far as arming teachers, I was in the Army and I have to say that no one should be handed a weapon and asked to defend themselves or others unless they are 1000% comfortable and confident in their ability to do so. Just arming teachers is never going to be the answer, if a teacher isn't confident in their abiltity to fire a weapon that weapon will have a greater percentage chance of being used for the wrong purpose.
Now if you have weapons experience, the confidence and feel like going through a rigorous screening and qualification process, maybe I can see it. Maybe.
As to the heroic teachers, I'm not being stirring the pot or judging here because there are a lot of emotions surrounding this topic but if I were in the position to protect anyone's kids, ANYONE's kids from something like a mass shooting I would do it without hesitation. Because I hope with all my heart that someone would protect my kid in the same scenario.
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
At least UO day is interesting and gets people talking right?
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
Its not really an expectation to put yourself between anyone in these situations, at least in any district I've been in. Our instructions are to get everyone into a corner/spot where they aren't seen from any window, lock the door, turn the lights off, and be silent.
It still shouldn't take away from people being a hero and famed for it, when they chose to take that step. Would you ever say you were sick of hearing or celebrating someone who saved lives in a fire but lost their own? No? Then why ever make such a callous statement about teachers or any other situation. (general you, not you as an individual)
Just because it is a *common* occurrence doesn't make it any less heroic or worthy of praise than if it were a 1 in 100 years occurrence.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
I like the Simpsons.
I dont like Family Guy.
I love Julia Roberts. Pretty Woman is one of my all time favorite movies.
I was a single mom. And it sucked. And I had a lot of help. My mom watched my littlest one and then she’d drive to my house and wait for my older two to get off the bus. And I was a pretty tough cookie. I was a military cop. I served in Iraq. I work in construction. I’m no snowflake. Lol. But it was hard. Especially when EX-SO wasn’t in the picture at ALL!! I don’t care for a doula now. And I wouldn’t have then. And it has nothing to do with my relationship status. And has everything to do with I just don’t want one. Lol.
Hence why I said arm teachers, after they have gone rigorous training and evaluations. I (personally) will and have stepped between my students and a threat. I should at least have a fighting chance to actually save them, if I am put into that type of situation again.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
From my reading, I don't think she ever meant to imply that single mothers are weaklings who need more help than a married mother, or that they can't do it alone. She was just stating she could see how such a service would be more useful to single moms because they often literally don't have the customary support or knowledgeable care advocate. Which honestly I don't see that as being untrue or somehow a sign of weakness either. There are always going to be mold-busting outliers with every group of people where things don't fit the norm.
Could it have been worded differently? Maybe. But it wasn't. I didn't see anything horrible about it as it was written. *shrug*
I'm married to a wonderful man who has been incredibly supportive throughout all of my various medical emergencies, who isn't squeamish about blood or things like that, and while I have no doubt he'll be slightly clueless during it all since we're both new to it, I think he'll rise to the occasion when I'm giving birth with potential assistance from the staff. While it might be nice to have the experienced person there helping me and my husband through the stages, I personally can't afford the added expense of a doula. Maybe if my insurance paid for it, or part of it, I'd be more interested. But they don't. So I'm going with hope that the nurses, doctors, and other medical staff around me are going to get me through it successfully. And given the amazing experience I had when I was going through the hospitalization and procedures for my miscarriage, if the birthing staff are cut from the same cloth, I think I'm in good hands.
As for the other UO, I don't want armed teachers. That's not their job. They're barely getting by in most regards in this country as far as adequate pay, respect, or anything else. They're expected to work miracles with our children with so very little given to them. It's an amazingly thankless job, where without them, we'd all be up a creek right now. Mad props to teachers, you do what I never could. But I don't think arming them and expecting them to shoot armed terrorists is the answer. I'd rather see that extra money instead spent on much needed school infrastructure, teacher pay, added security measure that actually work, and improving the educational system in general. Two wrongs don't make a right, and more guns aren't the answer either.
My UO: If you would not do something if you had to pay for it yourself, you should not bill it to your insurance. Insurance is not a magical bucket of free money. Americans want to complain about the rising cost of healthcare but they don't make decisions as though it's their own money. One of the reasons the cost of healthcare is rising because people aren't making judicious decisions with their healthcare spending. I think everyone should be on a high deductible healthplan where they have some skin in the game and are pushed to really think through healthcare decisions. I pay out of pocket for all of our prescriptions, so I shop around and get them at the cheapest pharmacy (usually it's Costco)- not many people do that. My epidural was $1200, I wasn't just deciding if I wanted the epidural, I was deciding if it was worth the investment.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
@mrsbubbles-2 I’m stealing that HP meme pic thing!!
It's probably not a really interesting UO, but it might be something that a lot of people have never thought about.