@ngolimento I definitely wouldn’t go to this second shower but I will say I feel a bit bad for the girl having to self host her first one. Why didn’t your friend help her daughter out? That’s kind of sad to me. I was in a weird position with my shower because all of my friends wanted to “do something” but no one could afford to “host”. Thankfully my Dad stepped up to help out (we have a complicated relationship) but I know my friends would have made something happen!
@ftm_ohio@frenchiekinplusone On another similar note, there is a girl I am inviting to my shower who I literally never talk to. She is the wife of a male college friend who hung out in my same group. I’m honestly not even that close to her husband but she invited me to her wedding a few years ago, so I invited her to mine and she attends all my other close friend’s events. She really doesn’t have any close girlfriends but everyone loves her husband so we just tend to include her in things even though none of us have a close relationship with her. She is a really nice sweet girl but she is painfully shy and actually has pretty bad social anxiety. I felt kind of weird inviting her to the baby shower (because as I said we never talk) but after talking to one of my friends about it she thought it was fine because as a group we have all invited her to everything. A part of me also thinks she may have felt hurt to suddenly not to get an invite when she has always been invited in the past BUT she may also think I’m a gift whore now sooo. Who knows lol
@JJMNO1616 I think that's understandable! If she's always around, even if you're not necessarily close she probably would be hurt not to get an invite.
@ftm_ohio I agree with the others about she is family. it's probably the same reason she invited you to her bridal shower. the only reason I would take someone like that off my list is if I didn't get along with them.
@babyclarke429 I have 2 the main reason is one is on Amazon and my second is a store in town so my older family who aren't tech savvy can still look at one.
@JJMNO1616 I think that’s understandable too. It’s hard when there’s one person in a friend group that you aren’t close to and wouldn’t invite otherwise but it would be weird to single her out. I think I would do the same in your case.
I have a follow-up on @ftm_ohio 's question about inviting family - do you invite members of the extended family (aunts, cousins) who live out of state and couldn't possibly attend? I don't want people to feel left out, but I also don't want to seem like I'm only inviting th because I want them to send a gift...?
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
@hedgepig pretty much ALL my extended family lives out of state. We always invite each other to showers even if we can't always attend. They either mail or send a gift with someone who can make it. I have never felt like it was gift grabby when I was invited and couldn't make it.
@hedgepig I have lots of family out of state. I always invite them to absolutely everything (showers, christenings, bday parties) because sometimes they can actually make it. The last thing I’d want to hear is “oh shoot, I wish I had known! I would have tried to be there!” That being said, I’m in MA and the family is in upstate Maine, so it’s not like they’d have to fly across the country. BUT STILL! I think the gesture is really nice, and like others have said, must don’t mind at all sending a gift.
@hedgepig I would invite them based on your relationship with them. I have tons of relatives who live out of state, and our relationship just isn't that close. I haven't been invited to any of their baby showers, nor did I expect them to send gifts for mine. Now, if your family is more of the type where blood gets invited to everything, then go ahead and do it. Mine just isn't that way, so any invite I sent would have looked gift-whorey.
Now birth announcements are another story. People love those, and they are obligation free .
@hedgepig I invited all of my out of state family to the shower, knowing none would make it. I also had the same question but then one of them asked me when it was and where I was registered. So, I felt like they still wanted to be included. But I only invited people who I have seen in the last 5 years or so.
We just registered at babies r us because we needed some replacement items even though we are having another boy and they are only 3 years apart. New bottles and nipples, some new burp cloths and onsies because the ones from our first son got stained, I didn't breastfeed the first time, but this time I really want to so we put some stuff on there that I think would help with nursing this time around, more sheets because now we will need double, plus daycare sets...before I knew it, we had over 100 items on there. I never thought we would have another baby shower because I know its not something you usually do and i would never expect another, but with the amount of stuff we need, I'm really hoping someone decides to at least throw us a sprinkle.
We originally only registered for ourselves because Babies R Us does the 15% money back thing so why not get money back on everything we knew we were going to buy. Plus, anything we need for our toddler can go on there too, so its nice to get money back on his stuff too.
I’m a little stressed about my shower. It was actually supposed to be at the beginning of January, but my friend who was hosting it dropped the ball on sending the invites out in any sort of a timely manner. Also, I ended up being in the hospital that day anyway, so it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
So the new day is February 18th. I’ve already gotten a lot of yes RSVPs now that the invites are out.
However, now the host, my friend, is in the midst of a divorce. It just started about two weeks ago, and it is not pretty. As in, he drained their joint bank account and there’s nothing she can do.
i don’t want to put any more stress on her at ALL. And a shower is stress (and $$). She swears she’s fine, though. My mom and sister had me offer to her that they could host the shower at their house, and she could just be one of the hosts, still, but she keeps saying she’s fine. I don’t know what to say at this point...
@mikkimikey that's rough! I feel like as long as your friend is keeping you in the loop and you feel like she is doing what needs to be done it's fine to let her continue to handle it (might even be a great distraction for her) but certainly if you feel like she's struggling have someone else step in.
Not that it's her fault by any means if she doesn't keep up, but at the same time your shower shouldn't suffer for it.
I just met with my aunt today so we could assemble the invites I designed and talk about some details. I am starting to feel excited about seeing everyone.
Just catching up on this thread since I'm minorly helping plan our baby shower ! We're doing an under the sea theme (this kid is going to HAVE to like the ocean, it's ridiculous how much stuff she has already). Definitely getting excited, but it's March 4th which is roughly a month before her due date and I didn't realize how late in the game that would actually be. We're doing a coed shower so our male friends can celebrate, so it's more of a bbq baby hybrid thing. My fiances mom is a graphic designer and she came up with these and I'm in love : What are everyone's shower themes ?
@mikkimikey that is tricky. It was nice of your mom and sister to give her an out. Is she usually fairly reliable?
She’s usually on the ball with everything.
But she’s also the type to try and juggle 87 things at once because she’s awesome like that. But i just feel like it might be too much for her, and I don’t want to be the cause of her stress!!!
@mikkimikey that's rough! I feel like as long as your friend is keeping you in the loop and you feel like she is doing what needs to be done it's fine to let her continue to handle it (might even be a great distraction for her) but certainly if you feel like she's struggling have someone else step in.
Not that it's her fault by any means if she doesn't keep up, but at the same time your shower shouldn't suffer for it.
She’s not really the type to admit defeat either! I did give her my mom and sisters phone numbers and vice versa. They want to be helpful in any way they can!!
@mikkimikey you gave her the out options. It probably is something exciting for her to look forward to doing for you and will keep her distracted from what she’s dealing with. You’re a good friend for looking out for her.
Ugh, I love my mom, but sometimes she is just a handful. My mom did my bridal shower and my good friend, who was in law school at the time wasn't able to be part of the shower or wedding like I had hoped. She wanted to make up for it and asked to do my baby shower, which she has been working on and keeping me updated. I also told my mom that Brittany was doing it. So, I was out shopping with my mom on Saturday and she starts talking about going to Hobby Lobby and buying stuff for my shower and then invites herself over to spend the night the day before my shower so she can "help". I appreciate her wanting to be a part of it, but she's going behind my friend's back and buying decorations that may or may not match what my friend is already doing. Why can't people just leave well-enough alone? She got to do my bridal shower. Let my friend do her thing.
On the bright side, I can see things on my registry being bought! DH told me I was cheating the other day by looking haha. I really wasn't trying to be nosey. I went to go update something on my list and saw that it said "6 items purchased" and now I want to keep looking. I guess it does take the fun out of opening things on the day of the shower. Fun times!
@scuba_chic FFMC I have also been stalking my registry. I try not to but it’s hard haha. I’m at least not looking to see who bought what because I feel like that’s crossing the line, which is how I’m rationalizing this to myself. Sorry you are dealing with Mom drama, they can certainly be intense with this stuff! Have you given your friend a heads up about it just so she knows not to feel pressured into changing anything if your mom reaches out to her? That’s all I can think to do in this situation as it sounds like your mom’s gonna do what she wants, unfortunately
I’m a little panicked, my BFF is in charge of the shower, and it’s totally her thing, but I think work has her super stressed and I feel bad. And invites haven’t gone out yet for February 11th (I’m type A and it’s killing me a little bit). But, it’s a shower, we’re not sending a person into orbit lol.
Since the invites are done I thought i would share what we are doing for sil and my brothers shower! He was insisting we do a co shower but I refused to do a shower for my third and steal her day.
These invites are all adorable!!! My MIL is planning my shower. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I made DH at least tell me the date so I could be prepared. I'm dying to see what the invitations look like, or if there will be a theme, but I'm not being told ANYTHING and it's killing me!
My SIL keeps pressing me to have a small shower (this is baby number 2) so that people can buy things I need. Wtf?! I keep telling her no, and im not going to throw my own shower. My BIL (her husband) chimed in and was like "why not have another shower? You cant celebrate every baby?" I was like "uhh no, thats looked at as greedy lol." He totally gave me the look of "we're gonna have 6 kids and have a shower for every single one of them" ayeee. I dont need a shower, if you want to be kind enough to get us something to help out, thats kind, but I dont need a party for that.
I’m really starting to look forward to my shower now. A good girlfriend came forward to host it with my mom. She asked if she could be a bit brave with the invite and I was like sure why not! It’s definitely not going to be super traditional, but I feel confident we will have fun!
Re: The Great Baby Shower Thread!
@ftm_ohio @frenchiekinplusone
On another similar note, there is a girl I am inviting to my shower who I literally never talk to. She is the wife of a male college friend who hung out in my same group. I’m honestly not even that close to her husband but she invited me to her wedding a few years ago, so I invited her to mine and she attends all my other close friend’s events. She really doesn’t have any close girlfriends but everyone loves her husband so we just tend to include her in things even though none of us have a close relationship with her. She is a really nice sweet girl but she is painfully shy and actually has pretty bad social anxiety. I felt kind of weird inviting her to the baby shower (because as I said we never talk) but after talking to one of my friends about it she thought it was fine because as a group we have all invited her to everything. A part of me also thinks she may have felt hurt to suddenly not to get an invite when she has always been invited in the past BUT she may also think I’m a gift whore now sooo. Who knows lol
@babyclarke429 I have 2 the main reason is one is on Amazon and my second is a store in town so my older family who aren't tech savvy can still look at one.
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
Now birth announcements are another story. People love those, and they are obligation free
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
We originally only registered for ourselves because Babies R Us does the 15% money back thing so why not get money back on everything we knew we were going to buy. Plus, anything we need for our toddler can go on there too, so its nice to get money back on his stuff too.
So the new day is February 18th. I’ve already gotten a lot of yes RSVPs now that the invites are out.
However, now the host, my friend, is in the midst of a divorce. It just started about two weeks ago, and it is not pretty. As in, he drained their joint bank account and there’s nothing she can do.
i don’t want to put any more stress on her at ALL. And a shower is stress (and $$). She swears she’s fine, though. My mom and sister had me offer to her that they could host the shower at their house, and she could just be one of the hosts, still, but she keeps saying she’s fine. I don’t know what to say at this point...
Not that it's her fault by any means if she doesn't keep up, but at the same time your shower shouldn't suffer for it.
What are everyone's shower themes ?
@priestess619 those are cute!
But she’s also the type to try and juggle 87 things at once because she’s awesome like that. But i just feel like it might be too much for her, and I don’t want to be the cause of her stress!!!
@icalynn the tea for two is precious
@ftm_ohio I was in between the jungle theme and woodland theme. Such a cute idea
i love the invites / themes so far. Everyone is so different and so creative
Love seeing everyone's ideas and how different yet incredibly different they are.
On the bright side, I can see things on my registry being bought! DH told me I was cheating the other day by looking haha. I really wasn't trying to be nosey. I went to go update something on my list and saw that it said "6 items purchased" and now I want to keep looking. I guess it does take the fun out of opening things on the day of the shower. Fun times!
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
I’m a little panicked, my BFF is in charge of the shower, and it’s totally her thing, but I think work has her super stressed and I feel bad. And invites haven’t gone out yet for February 11th (I’m type A and it’s killing me a little bit). But, it’s a shower, we’re not sending a person into orbit lol.
Since the invites are done I thought i would share what we are doing for sil and my brothers shower! He was insisting we do a co shower but I refused to do a shower for my third and steal her day.
Me: 29 DH: 35
Married 5/3/14, TTC ever since
DX: Lean PCOS, Clomid resistant
Femara 7.5 + Ovidrel = BFP! Due 4/15/18
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18