@Amphibious22 sorry to hear all the craziness. It def pours. Do you have someone you can stay with locally until you get on your feet? Right before weddings and right before baby is a great excuse to save. In the pregnancy book I finished earlier this week they lived with friends until a couple weeks before the baby came. I know it’s another move but you could keep your job and DH could get a job anyday. Things can turn around quickly.
Guys, my cousin is due with her second baby about a month after I'm due. My mom told me today that my aunt (cousin's mom) told her that since she had a cold she was taking dayquil. You know... high alcohol content and not recommended for pregnancy decongestant ingredients. Smart. Granted with her first pregnancy she went to an amusement park and rode rides and rollercoasters all day. She and her DH are the kind of people who should not have 2u2.
@Amphibious22 definitely don’t feel like you are pathetic or apologize for sharing. That is a really tough situation and your feeling are totally valid. ((Hugs))
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@Amphibious22 I'm late to the conversation in the evening time as always, but I'm thinking of you. Don't ever feel bad for leaning on us for a supportive ear.
I hope it turns out to be less complicated than it feels and many blessings come your way
@Amphibious22 that is such a tough decision. Before deciding to move could you reach out to potential employers in Arizona? Why is your H’s dad (if I remembered correctly) only willing to help you buy there? Would he help you elsewhere if you explain the situation or maybe co-sign your lease?
@lisa2589@sabby2 The struggle is real. DD goes to bed late and wakes up at the butt crack of dawn. She doesn't nap at home, so her emotions are all over the place. Her new thing is "fine, I'll never ____ again in my life!" whenever I tell her she can't do something-usually eat candy or watch youtube.
So I'm not sure if it's stress or something I ate (or both) but I ended up getting really sick last night and spent most of the evening throwing up. Brought me back to those first tri days. Luckily I woke up feeling better.
@ffw0617 the problem with couch surfing is that we have 2 dogs and a cat. It's a little much to impose on even my best friend and we don't have any family in the area.
@marcus7676 as much as I love my FIL, he can be pretty manipulative. He's only willing to get us a house in PHX because that's where he lives and wants us to move there. It would be nice to have family and grandparents close by, but we're still trying to decide if giving up our independence is worth it.
Thanks again for support and advice. I'm hoping the right answer will become obvious in the next few days. Honestly I can do whatever, I just want DH to find a way to be okay with life again.
Me 30 Him 30 Married August 2015 DS born 5/23/2018 TTC #2 July 2020
@Amphibious22 we live about 3 hours from any family right now and it’s pretty tough. If it’s any bearing on your decision making, if your in laws are people you love and would trust with LO, they can be a huge help. It’s one of the things I regret about having to live away from family is having no help with DS.
*lurker* they did unpin and pin the new us thread haha we tagged them with every post but maybe if you have a pot stirrer (hopefully you don't) but if you do convince them to start a poll for a ridiculous reason and then you might get the bumpgods attention also avoid that haha not fun but do tag them and have lots of different people do it too if you haven't already hope you get that thread pinned asap!!
Your situation is strangely familiar.... When we were trying (going through IVF) with DD, my DH was laid off. Then as we were awaiting of BFP (after 5 years), DH went and tore his right Quad, completely. Now, DH is a large man, and a proud man, who was already unemployed for 15 months at this point... and we had felt he was close to getting a new gig. So here he is crotch to ankle cast, and we get our BFP, within 48 hours. (then my pay got cut in the meantime, and his unemployment ran out, etc etc.)
I was supposed to be SO happy, and relieved we were pregnant, finally. And that everything was going to be OKAY. It would all work out, etc. (Spoiler alert: it totally did) I had similar feelings, regarding a DH that was so concerned about money and where are we going to live, and how we were going to pay for things, that he honestly wasn't interested in the pregnancy. And it hurt. A lot. The Bump, and the ladies in Oct 15 were amazing. And it was super helpful.
In the end, DH started a great new gig that was the best thing that could have happened. We chose to move cities... partially for financial reasons, TBH. And we decided we weren't "one and done". And we too accepted help from a parent. On some negotiated terms.
There were some fights. I won't lie. But in the end DH and I are stronger for it. And we have a plan moving forward together to help avoid situations like this in the future.
It's tough @Amphibious22, so tough, but lady, you can get through this. I know it. {{{{HUGS}}}}
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
@rnielsen321 just saw this and cried reading it. Life has been so hard and it's just getting worse every day that DH is still unemployed. It's really reassuring to hear that you guys made it through. If I'm being completely honest, I have days where I question if this marriage is worth it. I know it is and I know these are just tough times, but I'm starting to lose steam.
We're still thinking seriously about a move as well. He just needs to get a job so he can feel like his life has purpose again. I really appreciate you sharing your story, it means a lot.
Me 30 Him 30 Married August 2015 DS born 5/23/2018 TTC #2 July 2020
@Amphibious22 Sorry to hear about how much you are facing! I had to uproot and move to Phoenix three years ago...we just bought our in-laws house so we plan to stay for a while. It’s a fresh start and hot as hell, but cost of living is pretty reasonable. And, it was 75 here today, so there is always that! And, you’d have another June bug in the area
there are a a few more zoos and wildlife preserves in and around phx too, so you might even have better luck than you’d think! Especially if you get in at one of the newer places where everyone is staring from scratch?
@Amphibious22 Please know you have someone here in your corner. Cheering you two (three) on!
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
Can anyone clarify? I'm 19.6 weeks {20 weeks tomorrow!} and I think nesting started.
Tuesday I was cleaning, and then HAD to start cleaning the pantry. Not just tidying. Remove everything and wipe shelves kind. Then another cupboard in the kitchen.
Generally I was tired of the mess, but when does nesting start? Could that be the beginning?
@MissKittyDanger@LaceyBee522 that does sound like nesting, but for some reason I thought nesting was supposed to be like, the few weeks leading up to labor.
@MissKittyDanger@LaceyBee522 that does sound like nesting, but for some reason I thought nesting was supposed to be like, the few weeks leading up to labor.
with DD, nesting came and went, and as we got close to her EDD, it was more panic haha
Me: 28 | Husband: 39 Married March 2016 DD: born 7.22.16 DS EDD: 6.23.18
Re: Randomy random randoms (1/8)
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
Y’all I was up late last night on west coast time and did not see the split poll discussion. I miss all the fun!
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
I hope it turns out to be less complicated than it feels and many blessings come your way
@ffw0617 the problem with couch surfing is that we have 2 dogs and a cat. It's a little much to impose on even my best friend and we don't have any family in the area.
@marcus7676 as much as I love my FIL, he can be pretty manipulative. He's only willing to get us a house in PHX because that's where he lives and wants us to move there. It would be nice to have family and grandparents close by, but we're still trying to decide if giving up our independence is worth it.
Thanks again for support and advice. I'm hoping the right answer will become obvious in the next few days. Honestly I can do whatever, I just want DH to find a way to be okay with life again.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
they did unpin and pin the new us thread haha we tagged them with every post but maybe if you have a pot stirrer (hopefully you don't) but if you do convince them to start a poll for a ridiculous reason and then you might get the bumpgods attention also avoid that haha not fun but do tag them and have lots of different people do it too if you haven't already hope you get that thread pinned asap!!
Your situation is strangely familiar.... When we were trying (going through IVF) with DD, my DH was laid off. Then as we were awaiting of BFP (after 5 years), DH went and tore his right Quad, completely. Now, DH is a large man, and a proud man, who was already unemployed for 15 months at this point... and we had felt he was close to getting a new gig. So here he is crotch to ankle cast, and we get our BFP, within 48 hours. (then my pay got cut in the meantime, and his unemployment ran out, etc etc.)
I was supposed to be SO happy, and relieved we were pregnant, finally. And that everything was going to be OKAY. It would all work out, etc. (Spoiler alert: it totally did) I had similar feelings, regarding a DH that was so concerned about money and where are we going to live, and how we were going to pay for things, that he honestly wasn't interested in the pregnancy. And it hurt. A lot. The Bump, and the ladies in Oct 15 were amazing. And it was super helpful.
In the end, DH started a great new gig that was the best thing that could have happened. We chose to move cities... partially for financial reasons, TBH. And we decided we weren't "one and done". And we too accepted help from a parent. On some negotiated terms.
There were some fights. I won't lie. But in the end DH and I are stronger for it. And we have a plan moving forward together to help avoid situations like this in the future.
It's tough @Amphibious22, so tough, but lady, you can get through this. I know it. {{{{HUGS}}}}
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
We're still thinking seriously about a move as well. He just needs to get a job so he can feel like his life has purpose again. I really appreciate you sharing your story, it means a lot.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
there are a a few more zoos and wildlife preserves in and around phx too, so you might even have better luck than you’d think! Especially if you get in at one of the newer places where everyone is staring from scratch?
Please know you have someone here in your corner. Cheering you two (three) on!
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
I'm 19.6 weeks {20 weeks tomorrow!} and I think nesting started.
Tuesday I was cleaning, and then HAD to start cleaning the pantry. Not just tidying. Remove everything and wipe shelves kind.
Then another cupboard in the kitchen.
Generally I was tired of the mess, but when does nesting start? Could that be the beginning?
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18