@sparklingdiamond it doesn't matter if she was your first or last there will always be that guilt. We have given so much to dd that I wonder how I can do the same; and i know this one shouldn't need all the extra attention because some things should come more naturally. And then I wonder about how having another baby will affect how often I will do her therapy skills; she is doing so well right now that I want her to keep progressing. My confession involves that I am slightly nervous about what it will be like to raise a child without a disability. Dd was so easy going, she hardly cried and never had what other moms referred to as" leaps." We didn't have to baby proof until walking (18 months). And she has always been a great night sleeper (except for after her surgery).
@rklinge0 I think that is perfectly acceptable. I Only have neighbors with now the experience of two kids. I watched James (their son with Down’s syndrome for a long while, and yes he was very easy going.
And they just had their new baby in September, and except for a little bit of jealousy on James’s end, everything has been going smoothly. All of the jealousy tends to stem from when she is feeding the new baby.
They even transitioned him to a a big boy bed right before his brother’s birth, and so far, everything has been great!
I just wanted to shine a little light on what you might be going through in the next few months!!
With my losses, any time I'd hear someone complaining about pregnancy, I'd say that I'd still rather be going through that. Now I'm definitely in the camp of pregnancy is miserable, but I still think this suffering is way better.
Pregnancy is hard on some women, and others have an easier go of it. It doesn’t impact how much you love or want your children. One of my sisters has 4 kids, partly because she ENJOYED being pregnant. I’m jealous her body handled it so much better than mine, but absolutely accept the physical discomfort/pain for getting to be a mom in a few short months. We’ll get there together ladies!
@sapphires-and-diamonds@ngolimento ughhh yes! The people who are like “are you so excited?!” They look at my with disgust when I flat out say no. Its bc I know what waits for me - inevitable pain and sleepless nights all while taking care of a toddler. Ya I can’t f’in wait! The only silver lining is I can drink again - but not too much if I’m nursing (eye roll). I haven’t even told many people. I don’t have fb so there goes any formal announcement. But it’s weird working it into conversation. Most people see the bump and are like “how didn’t I know that?” Uhhh bc I don’t know you well enough nor do I feel the need to broadcast it.
Yes to all of this. I hope this one takes bottles eventually, because DS did not. Bring on the wine! I do have FB, but rarely go on and have no intention of making an announcement on there. There's a chunk of family who have no idea I'm pregnant either. One of my very good friends found out 3 days ago and I felt *kind of* bad when I said "um yeah, I'm 5 months along...". @ngolimento you're exactly right about it being in part because of experiencing a previous loss. So much anxiety when I tell someone. Plus zero enthusiasm.
My Confession is that I don’t know why pregnancy has this sort of etiquette that you get judged if you don’t follow. Like we announced to everyone right as soon as we found out at 5 weeks because we tried for 2 years and were so excited about it. We got a lot of flack from people saying it was too early and we shouldn’t be sharing it. Well why the hell not? I understand many people don’t want to and that’s totally fine and their choice but we dreamed of this for 2 years and wanted to embrace every moment even if it did end in a loss. If we had a loss we wanted the support of our family and friends around us. Thankfully we didn’t - but let me be excited damnit!
Me: 27 // DH: 30 Married 05/21/2011 TTC Since Feb 2016 RE: Dec 2016 Dx: PCOS 5 rounds of Letrozole 5mg + Ovidrel + TI BFP!!!! June 2017 // EDD: 04/01/2018 IT'S A BOY!
@vintageandrea90 My husband had this weird idea that it was “bad luck” to announce it before second Tri. I have no idea where he got that from but my MIL has really weird urband legend beliefs about pregnancy as well. I have always been under the impression it has more to do with the M/C rates in early pregnancy but I agree with you. If you feel confortable sharing that news... good and bad, then that’s your personal choice!
With my losses, any time I'd hear someone complaining about pregnancy, I'd say that I'd still rather be going through that. Now I'm definitely in the camp of pregnancy is miserable, but I still think this suffering is way better.
I don't think you would meet many people who prefer a dead child to feeling awful. I have lost pregnancies, but I still dislike the process to get a child. Disliking feeling like shit does not in the slightest bit detract from the joy and love that I feel at having a child. I don't get the mindset of "enjoy your torture" just because you want the end result more than anything.
i am totally on board with the whole mixed emotions with symptoms! On one hand it totally sucks that I can’t take more than Tylenol and wimpy meds when I’m sick, and having a bladder the size of a teaspoon is annoying, not to mention throwing up because dh took a round about too fast! It doesn’t take away from the hope and anticipation of the pregnancy tw but pregnancy has never been joyful for me, it’s constant anxiety and fear of another loss and more pain.
Re: FFFC 12/15
And they just had their new baby in September, and except for a little bit of jealousy on James’s end, everything has been going smoothly. All of the jealousy tends to stem from when she is feeding the new baby.
They even transitioned him to a a big boy bed right before his brother’s birth, and so far, everything has been great!
I just wanted to shine a little light on what you might be going through in the next few months!!
I do have FB, but rarely go on and have no intention of making an announcement on there. There's a chunk of family who have no idea I'm pregnant either. One of my very good friends found out 3 days ago and I felt *kind of* bad when I said "um yeah, I'm 5 months along...". @ngolimento you're exactly right about it being in part because of experiencing a previous loss. So much anxiety when I tell someone. Plus zero enthusiasm.
Married 05/21/2011
TTC Since Feb 2016
RE: Dec 2016 Dx: PCOS
5 rounds of Letrozole 5mg + Ovidrel + TI
BFP!!!! June 2017 // EDD: 04/01/2018
IT'S A BOY!