FFFC 12/15 — The Bump
April 2018 Moms

FFFC 12/15

1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
edited December 2017 in April 2018 Moms

*Confessions not guaranteed to be flame free. 
Me: 31yo DH: 38yo
Married: 07/16/16
TTC #1: 04/17
BFP: 8/1/17 EDD: 4/16/18

Re: FFFC 12/15

  • lindsye said:
    @JJMNO1616 on a related note, I am now pregnant enough that the other day in the grocery store parking lot, a car was about to park in the expectant mother spot, saw me walking by, and drove on. Yep, you should feel guilty about parking in that spot if you don’t need it!
    I don't actually feel like I need it :D BUT you should definitely be pregnant! I never parked in that spot before this week and it was only because the parking lot was packed. 
    Me: 31yo DH: 38yo
    Married: 07/16/16
    TTC #1: 04/17
    BFP: 8/1/17 EDD: 4/16/18
  • @Mattel I get it. I already have so much guilt about DS taking backseat to this LO. While I logically know I'll feel as much love for and devotion to this baby as I do to him, right now it doesn't seem possible. And then I feel guilty for feeling that, and round and round we go.
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  • @Mattel I know my situation is a bit different, but I feel the same way.  I haven't even bought anything for this baby yet or planned a nursery.  I am so worried about DS taking a backseat, especially with this one's medical needs.

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  • @mountainsmama your entire post could have been written by me. I have been having a hard time comprehending that this will be our last Christmas as a family of 3. I got unexpectedly weepy when I was talking to my doula about my feelings. 

  • @shireeallason thinking of you getting weepy makes me feel weepy, hah damn hormones!

    @ngolimento YES to the health guilt. Last time I was all green smoothies and prenatal yoga. This time I'm like, I'm going to demolish this giant bowl of pasta at 8 pm because I finally got the kid to bed and I'm exhausted.
  • +1 to the guilt train. But mine is a little different. I feel guilty because I don't enjoy pregnancy and have a hard time during the first few months after birth. And I feel so much guilt because of all the women who would kill to be me during that time. I'm hoping my bond with DD will help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and it will be easier for me to connect with the new baby. Don't get me wrong, I am super excited to have another baby. I just know where I struggle. Also, I'm already feeling guilty for DD not getting my full attention anymore. Pregnancy hormones really have me all over the place these days.

  • @lindsye Yes, I think that's probably how it will go for me too. I get bothered by the pressure that there is one "correct" way of experiencing motherhood, whether its your first or second time. I haven't seen that here necessarily, which is really nice. <3
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  • kmalls said:
    lindsye said:
    @sarahkate2233 I don’t know if you feel this way, but with my first baby, I don’t think it was really real to me until they handed me the baby after she was born. I knew intellectually that I was pregnant, but I didn’t really bond with the baby emotionally until after she was born.
    I’ve felt this way with all my pregnancies, I think some of us are just wired differently. I’m happy I’m pregnant and I love this child, but I have never once talked to or sang to the baby while pregnant. It would just be awkward and forced, to me. 
    Same here... I never talk to the baby. My husband does sometimes when he's being goofy but otherwise it just feels kind of weird to me. I have been buying stuff and making plans for the nursery but I haven't actually done anything yet! 
    Me: 31yo DH: 38yo
    Married: 07/16/16
    TTC #1: 04/17
    BFP: 8/1/17 EDD: 4/16/18
  • I never talk to the baby... I have never had that urge, not even with my other two children. I've always felt like a bad mom for not doing the music thing, reading, etc. Glad I'm not alone! 
  • My confession is that I got my DS to bed early last night and even though MH had been hitting on me all night I didn't tell him the kid was in bed. I was happy having a few quite moments to myself. And MH has a cold and I didn't want to have sex with him being sick.

    @JJMNO1616 the other week we were at the mall. I didn't even think about parking in the expecting mothers spot until I had to carry my kicking and screaming 2 yo out. That's when I needed it.

    @lindsye had the same feeling about a few of my students today. One was on his phone during instructions and asked a question about what I went over, and the other left for a week and missed most of the instruction for the test. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
  • @JJMNO1616 I completely forget about the pregnancy parking spots I need to keep my eyes peeled for those more

    @sarahkate2233 oh I am so glad you said this. I have felt so guilty not talking to my baby. I just feel so weird about it, like what do I say? I also have been doing a lot of the prepping and buying some things. Every one says oh you have to talk to the baby so he can hear you and it’s so calming. I just have no clue what to say. Glad I am not the only one. Sounds like a lot of moms don’t. 

    For the the moms that do, what do you talk about? Do you sing or read?
  • The other night, DS hit me hard in the stomach and i felt pain and at least one contraction afterwards. It went away after a while but when he started to climb on the couch to come jump on me again I pushed him away and accidentally made him fall head first off the couch  :'( he was fine but I felt so awful. 

    I guess that relates to the STM guilt that’s on here too. I want to play and roughhouse with him but instinctively protect myself/baby first :(
  • @babyclarke429 I usually tell baby that I love them and to keep growing and be healthy
  • @babyclarke429 ; I kinda talk to her, but really only when she's kicking or moving.  I'll put my hand where she's moving and just be like, "Hi baby, whatcha doin' in there?  Are you moving all over?" Lol.  I don't see how talking to the baby will really do anything.  Baby hears you talking to other people all day.  Or singing in the car.  They don't know if you're talking to them or not, they hear you and get to know your voice no matter what. :)
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  • @babyclarke429 I don't always talk to baby, but I sing him the same song in the shower daily. And I'm like @psuxray07 I really only talk to him when he's kicking around. I just say hi, how you doing in there?
  • npov18npov18
    5 Love Its Photogenic First Comment
    edited December 2017
    I do the exact same, talk to her when I feel her moving...or asking her to change positions when she is kicking me in the middle of the night
  • @ngolimento i felt that way when i was pregnant w dd2. My personality is a lot for people to take (especially those more quiet or reserved). There's no gray area w me; you like me or you don't.

    Anyway my fear turned into a reality: dd2 is my clone. And i love her to death. In fact i find myself coddling her more bc i feel like no one understands her but me. Which isn't right and i am working on it (she can be such a handful now). Long story but it'll be fine if she's like you or not.
    Proud mama-llama of 2

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  • The only talking I do to baby is to ask her to move out of a position that feels uncomfortable. I let DD1 do all the talking to baby for me :p plus much like DD1, I'm sure this girl will prefer everything about DH except for the fact that he can't lactate. 
    Me, 28 & DH, 28 | 4.2011
    DD1 | 8.17.14
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  • @sparklingdiamond it doesn't matter if she was your first or last there will always be that guilt. We have given so much to dd that I wonder how I can do the same; and i know this one shouldn't need all the extra attention because some things should come more naturally. And then I  wonder about how having another baby will affect how often I will do her therapy skills; she is doing so well right now that I want her to keep progressing.  
    My confession involves that I am slightly nervous about what it will be like to raise a child without a disability.  Dd was so easy going, she hardly cried and never had what other moms referred to as" leaps." We didn't have to baby proof until walking (18 months). And she has always been a great night sleeper (except for after her surgery). 
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