Yesterday after I mentioned that my perinatal nurse told me to slow it down with the exercise since it was triggering BH contractions, MH's coworker told me that it was ridiculous for me to slow down on exercise because she *once* saw a pregnant woman run a marathon.
@ShawnnaO Imagine we all just walked up to one another and said "omg, you've gotten so much bigger than last week!!" when not pregnant. Bye bye human race lol
The comments I've been getting aren't about my body but more an assumption that my "maternal drive" applies to all children now. *TW it actually started right after my 2nd mc *end TW. When a sorta friend said "You want kids, you'll be our babysitter." when telling us her H would be away for extended work trip. excuse me?? You can't afford my hourly rate. Then another woman sent me in to play with her daughter (about 4yo) while she was taking a bath and then came in with the soap and was all "make sure you wash her butt, cause she doesn't wipe well." I'm doing what now? This same woman told another pg couple they can drop their very active toddler off at our house when she goes into labor. They have never been to our house which is not. even. safe.
I mean I guess the delivery is more offensive than the actual requests. It would be nice to have a community of families that share play date duties. but this is weird right?
edit b/c omg @vflux33 that woman's totally an expert and you should listen to her over your dr. SMH
@vflux33 I’m not sure I can roll my eyes any harder. Did you tell her you are planning to run a marathon next weekend and she should join you? Because I once saw a non-pregnant woman run a marathon.
@fatstagnation okay, first of all, yes. Those things are all weird. Secondly I love kids and have babysat before starting our family for friends’ kids. But because I offered. I don’t even ask my family to wash my kid’s butt... And to sum it all up, none of those people sound like anyone that I would want to have play dates with. With the exception of the pregnant lady with the kid—since someone else volunteered you to watch her kid, I’m hoping she’s normal and also thinks that’s weird. I wouldn’t let just anyone watch my kid when I go into labor.
@fatstagnation It is weird. Just because you are pregnant, or you have children, does not mean you want OTHER people's children. Pfffttt I worked in childcare, at a center, and I loved it. But I still hated babysitting some of my friend's children.
@fatstagnation I love my kids, but I’m not obsessed with everyone else’s kids (with the exception of really close friends and family’s kids). I think that’s totally ok, and your friend is super weird!
@mdfarmchick She does run marathons so that wouldn't work. I think out loud I said "well she wasn't having contractions" or something and left the room. This same person has said a lot of really uninformed and judgmental things to me about pregnancy/fertility and I basically have to constantly bite my tongue in front of her in order to preserve our "friendship" because of her work relationship with MH. She had the nerve a few weeks ago to tell us that having twins wasn't hard because she went to a party last month and a couple at that party had 8 month old twins at home and they "seemed fine". Like for one thing, you just met these ppl at a party and do you really think they shared all their struggles with you??? Not to mention the fact that her social circle consists almost entirely of people who can afford live-in nannies --nothing wrong with going that route if that's you're thing, but it prooooobably changes the stress level at home just a tad. Anyway she and her H are TTC so when her time comes we shall see how "easy" everything is.
@stlbuckeye132 I have to see her all the time, and it sucks! Talking shit on her is becoming a daily hobby, which I'm not proud of, though she totally deserves it.
@fatstagnation I really relate to this. I am shy, I work with the public and I have it down and don’t seems super shy in that setting where I am providing customer service and there are specific roles, but you can’t really fake it with kids, and what most kids are to me are just short candid strangers. I like some of them, and not all, just like adult strangers, but I am hardly comfortable with them when I have just met them. A number of clients (hair salon) have brought in their kids and assumed I would play with them (no butt washing so far lol) while my husband or one of their other stylists works on their hair, and aside from the fact that I am at work, unless we are very close, or your child is in fact a dog, I am not more interested than I was before. I love a few kids in my life desperately, but it isn’t just because they are kids.
Re: Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women
*TW it actually started right after my 2nd mc *end TW. When a sorta friend said "You want kids, you'll be our babysitter." when telling us her H would be away for extended work trip. excuse me?? You can't afford my hourly rate.
Then another woman sent me in to play with her daughter (about 4yo) while she was taking a bath and then came in with the soap and was all "make sure you wash her butt, cause she doesn't wipe well." I'm doing what now?
This same woman told another pg couple they can drop their very active toddler off at our house when she goes into labor. They have never been to our house which is not. even. safe.
I mean I guess the delivery is more offensive than the actual requests. It would be nice to have a community of families that share play date duties. but this is weird right?
edit b/c omg @vflux33 that woman's totally an expert and you should listen to her over your dr. SMH
@fatstagnation okay, first of all, yes. Those things are all weird. Secondly I love kids and have babysat before starting our family for friends’ kids. But because I offered. I don’t even ask my family to wash my kid’s butt... And to sum it all up, none of those people sound like anyone that I would want to have play dates with. With the exception of the pregnant lady with the kid—since someone else volunteered you to watch her kid, I’m hoping she’s normal and also thinks that’s weird. I wouldn’t let just anyone watch my kid when I go into labor.
@mdfarmchick She does run marathons so that wouldn't work. I think out loud I said "well she wasn't having contractions" or something and left the room. This same person has said a lot of really uninformed and judgmental things to me about pregnancy/fertility and I basically have to constantly bite my tongue in front of her in order to preserve our "friendship" because of her work relationship with MH. She had the nerve a few weeks ago to tell us that having twins wasn't hard because she went to a party last month and a couple at that party had 8 month old twins at home and they "seemed fine". Like for one thing, you just met these ppl at a party and do you really think they shared all their struggles with you??? Not to mention the fact that her social circle consists almost entirely of people who can afford live-in nannies --nothing wrong with going that route if that's you're thing, but it prooooobably changes the stress level at home just a tad. Anyway she and her H are TTC so when her time comes we shall see how "easy" everything is.
I actually really like the woman whose kid's butt I washed. nobody's perfect...
A number of clients (hair salon) have brought in their kids and assumed I would play with them (no butt washing so far lol) while my husband or one of their other stylists works on their hair, and aside from the fact that I am at work, unless we are very close, or your child is in fact a dog, I am not more interested than I was before. I love a few kids in my life desperately, but it isn’t just because they are kids.