Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women

becausescience

Now that many of us have gone public, it is only a matter of time until people decide that it's totally appropriate to say inappropriate things to you just because you're pregnant.  So what has your SO/Family/Coworkers/Random Strangers/Anyone said that is making you say...

ShawnnaO

"Your dates don't match up, there must be another man involved." ~ my mother, who apparently has no grasp on how due dates are determined. 

becausescience

"Are you hoping for a boy this time?"

Nope, just a baby.  Hoping for healthy.

ShawnnaO

@becausescience why is "what are you hoping for?" Always the first question????? WHY? 

Also: "I'm pregnant too." My husband, looking for any excuse to take a nap. Honey, no. 

Gingermom15

"Are you disappointed it's a girl?" Said by almost everyone who knows 
No, I'm not. 
"why would you ever want another c section?!" DH's family
none of your beeswax, that's why. 

kalawa

"You're so young though!" Thanks random stranger...but I'm not. 

DDRRT1982

"You know what causes that, right?"

ShawnnaO

"Get ready to not have any more fun!" 

SoFlaMommie1128

@Gingermom15 I am so over the c section shaming! Just why?!

My MIL was trying to convince me a VBAC is best this time, I'm like, well I didn't choose to have an emergency c the first time, and would rather not go through a traumatic experience like the first time around, so a scheduled c section is sounding great but thanks! 

HappyMonkey817

"How are you feeling?" I know they mean well, but it's so awkward because I feel like shit and I hate lying. 

"Are you trying for a boy?" Yes, we did a magic penis dance before trying to conceive. Wtaf?

Gingermom15

SoFlaMommie1128 said:

@Gingermom15 I am so over the c section shaming! Just why?!

My MIL was trying to convince me a VBAC is best this time, I'm like, well I didn't choose to have an emergency c the first time, and would rather not go through a traumatic experience like the first time around, so a scheduled c section is sounding great but thanks! 

Exactly! My son's cord prolapsed and he almost didn't make it. I can't even think about attempting a vbac without my heart racing and feeling horrible anxiety. How could I ever relax enough to progress?? 

HappyMonkey817

Oh, I thought of another one. "I hope this one is quicker!" With my daughter, I was in labor for just under 48 hours. Yeah, yer darn tootin' this one better be quicker.

kalawa

@HappyMonkey817 Mine is opposite. My second came in 2 hours start to finish. We have no family in our city, and no babysitters. Everyone thinks it's funny to tell my SO to brush up on his baby catching skills, when in reality, it terrifies me that that will happen. 

chasingroygbiv

“You seem young to be having a baby, much less your 3rd.”

Yep, kind of. None of your business though, move along! 

deleted22152218

@chasingroygbiv I'll be 22 with 2 kids. F what people think. 

justkeeptrying

"So...how many miscarriages have you had now?"

Literally the first thing my MIL said. Rage. 

ShawnnaO

@justkeeptrying I hope you slapped her. 

@jeanbean15 I'll be 21 with two! And I get the "you're so young." Comment ALL the time. Like thanks? 

garnetmama

With my first, after I was visibly showing I had a cashier at the grocery store ask if I was having a girl or boy. When I replied boy, she said "ew, why?" 

justkeeptrying

@ShawnnaO, I wish I had. I was too shocked to think that fast. 

kalawa

@justkeeptrying  WTF is wrong with that woman? I'm sorry, I don't know her, but any dignified human knows that's not okay to ask. Ever. In no way, can that ever come across as a harmless question. 

mmom3

justkeeptrying said:

"So...how many miscarriages have you had now?"

Literally the first thing my MIL said. Rage. 

That might be the most insensitive thing I've ever heard.  

ksmwalters

“Well I hope they have a job for you when you get back.”

This was my MIL, and she meant well, because I’m a massage therapist and my boss will likely have to hire someone while I’m out on mat leave. We don’t have any real policy in place because it’s a small spa, so I am legitimately I little worried about if I’ll be able to pick up many days when I’m ready to come back to work. Thanks for increasing my anxiety!

barrelocarol

"Wow, your belly got big quickly!" I hate that this crapheffer was right. 

"Second boy? It's ok, you can try for a girl again." It is ok. In fact, it's awesome. No need to console me about something awesome. 

"You're gonna wanna quit nursing before the new baby arrives." Not true. 

"You're trying to have a VBAC? Aren't you worried? I wouldn't do it." I'm terrified. But a repeat section and the trauma and my personal recovery is much more terrifying. How about support of any sort?

bettyvonsomethingstein

Crapheffer FTW, @barrelocarol

Cowboycorgi

I am legit angry for some of you! I can't believe anyone would think these things, let alone say them out loud! 

After telling one of my friends that I am pregnant, the first thing she said was 'Are you going to have your husband fixed finally so you don't have these accidents anymore?' 
... She knows I had to use IVF to get pregnant
I didn't respond, I just walked away. 

deleted22152218

@ShawnnaO Yay for multiple kids in our early 20's!! 



K guys one time I was a huge twatwaffle to a pregnant person. After DD was born I went to her 2 week check up. I was totally sleep deprived and miserable with ppd and I was not taking to early motherhood well. So that's my excuse. Not that it justifies it or anything because what I said was awful. Anyway this nurse who had been there throughout my entire pregnancy told me, "I'm pregnant! My due date is Christmas Day!" And I straight up said, without thinking, "That's going to ruin Christmas." 

Yep. That's what I said. I wanted to eat my feet afterwards. 

syssa-o

Today... "my cousin had twins. She didn't breastfeed it was too tiring. You won't  be able to do it." 

Thanks. *eyeroll*

historeliza

"Your life is over!"

Yep, after giving birth, there is absolutely no meaning. Non.  Insert eye roll

pettycrocker

"Have this one and get your tubes tied"  I get that pretty often since this is #3 for us. It's crazy how many people can not wrap their heads around anyone actually wanting more than 2 kids. 

 

enigmaticjj

After telling my MIL I was pregnant, she said she had a feeling because I had a belly the last time we saw her.  I would have been about 9-10 weeks pregnant yet, and I don't feel I had an actual baby bump yet.  Just my own belly, thanks (didn't help that I've been feeling uncomfortable with my body/weight from some thyroid issues I recently started meds for).  She didn't mean it as rude, but clearly didn't realize how that came out.

She said something similar for my first/prior pregnancy too.  She mentioned the last time she saw me she noticed by belly.  At that time I was 12 weeks and still felt my normal self with my normal belly.  Why comment at all on someones body besides saying you look nice/healthy??

ladybugsamom

When I was just days before giving birth to my first son, an elderly coworker told me: "Well, at least you don't look pregnant... you just look disgustingly fat."

12 years later and I still feel ALL THE RAGE just thinking about it. Why would you ever think something like that is ok to say - to anyone - let alone an (overweight) 9 months pregnant lady???

pettycrocker

Omg @ladybugsamom that is awful! People are so rude sometimes. 

The other day I was walking out of my house to my car and 2 of my neighbors stopped me to tell me "how big I look already!" I'm just like... ummm... I just had a Big Mac 

kalawa

@pettycrocker You're right. Some people can't fathom the thought of more than 2 children nowadays. I always get asked if this was an accident because it's our third (it's not, but still not their business). And my actual friend said when I found out TW we lost the twin was, "phew...you were almost a mom of 4!" I literally had no words. She did apologize and say she was just in shock a little, and was more putting her feelings for herself on me...but still. 

Gingermom15

kalawa said:

@pettycrocker You're right. Some people can't fathom the thought of more than 2 children nowadays. I always get asked if this was an accident because it's our third (it's not, but still not their business). And my actual friend said when I found out TW we lost the twin was, "phew...you were almost a mom of 4!" I literally had no words. She did apologize and say she was just in shock a little, and was more putting her feelings for herself on me...but still. 

TW
I'm so sorry for your loss. What a disgusting thing to say 
when we found out we lost our son's twin in early pregnancy people actually told us it was for the best and twins are hard. I don't get it. It's not helpful and very hurtful. I don't care if twins are hard, I wanted both my babies. Some people need their lips glued shut 

kalawa

@Gingermom15 Sorry for your loss. And that's exactly what I told her. 

justkeeptrying

I wish there was a reaction other than "love it" on here. Because most of these I'm like  but I can't respond to every single one individually. 

During my last pregnancy when I mentioned to my grandma that I was starting to show, she said "no dear, you've always just been chubby". Don't think I'll be saying anything this time around about my belly to her...

becausescience

@justkeeptrying Lovetits can be hugs too! Because most of these are terrible.

HappyMonkey817

The level of rudeness quoted here is astonishing. 

ShawnnaO

When we told my mother in law, she said she had a feeling because the last time she saw us, I was eating more than usual. I literally would have been DAYS pregnant. 

justkeeptrying

@becausescience, that's true. I just can't wrap my head around "loving" any of these!!! Lol

deleted22152218

My "love it"s don't always literally mean I love it lol. Sometimes they're "hey I support that"s or "I totally acknowledge that"s or "that's so hard and I'm sorry"s or "wow I agree what a bitch"s lol