February 2018 Moms

Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says

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Re: Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says

  • First thing my aunt says to me  on Thanksgiving: "So how much weight have you gained?". Things not to say to a pregnant woman... Ughhh!! Like I already don't feel awful about myself... :s.   Anyone else encounter rude comments this Thanksgiving? There's always that one relative  ..

    DD angel baby 10/16 <3
    Rainbow Due 02/20/18


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  • alemarie1 said:
    First thing my aunt says to me  on Thanksgiving: "So how much weight have you gained?". Things not to say to a pregnant woman... Ughhh!! Like I already don't feel awful about myself... :s.   Anyone else encounter rude comments this Thanksgiving? There's always that one relative  ..
    My husband's friends came over after 8 years of not seeing them (they live out of state) and his friends wife brought over a ton of baby stuff and maternity clothes. She saw me and said "oh this probably won't fit you. You're a lot bigger than I was." Ummmm....excuse me?

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  • alemarie1 said:
    First thing my aunt says to me  on Thanksgiving: "So how much weight have you gained?". Things not to say to a pregnant woman... Ughhh!! Like I already don't feel awful about myself... :s.   Anyone else encounter rude comments this Thanksgiving? There's always that one relative  ..
     My mom during thanksgiving dessert "how much weight have you gained?" If she really wanted to know she could have asked privately instead of infront of all my family,  in laws, and guests, while i was sitting down with my tiny piece of pie. Guilt trip anyone?
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • Car shopping today- DS and DD are climbing in the van that we are likely buying, and DH is talking to the sales guy when this random lady walks up to me and goes,

     “omg you really need that van huh? Do you EVER get any sleep with all of that?!”

    i just glared at her in shock. Really?!

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  •  My mom asked if we could have the baby at Christmas time when she's here for her next visit. 

    Really mom? That's not how these things work,  and we really want baby to stay inside and grow until he's full term if at all possible.  
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  •  My mom asked if we could have the baby at Christmas time when she's here for her next visit. 

    Really mom? That's not how these things work,  and we really want baby to stay inside and grow until he's full term if at all possible.  
    What the what?!? She wants you to deliver a premiee for travel convenience? I'mean hoping she hadn't thought through the development difference..
  • chucksmom15chucksmom15 member
    edited November 2017
     My mom asked if we could have the baby at Christmas time when she's here for her next visit. 

    Really mom? That's not how these things work,  and we really want baby to stay inside and grow until he's full term if at all possible.  
    Geezum.  Have your baby super early so it's convenient for her.  Was she joking???

    I got the opposite.  My mom asked if I could hold him in until the 12th so he's born on her birthday.  Yeah cause that's how it works.  I'll send him the memo lol
  • Checkout lady at the grocery store this evening “looks like there’s not much room left in that hoodie.”  It’s my husbands sweatshirt and I didn’t think it looked that tight  :( 
  • @3plus1equals4 and @chucksmom15, my mom is 76 and doesn't care if what she says is appropriate or not.  Her assistant has been noticing she is getting more forgetful this last year,  says wildly inappropriate things and has lost her filter, which is interesting for a "proper southern woman"  Getting angry won't get her to understand. I'm chalked it up to senility,  it's the only way i can not been furious over  Her wanting the baby to come 6ish weeks early. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • eggplantfaceeggplantface member
    edited November 2017
    @mamaof5already Your mom sounds like mine. She says whatever the hell she wants and doesn't care who she offends. This is why many of the people she used to be friends with have shunned her. I also chalk it up to the early stages of Alzheimer's. Or maybe she just doesn't care if she's a bitch. (ETA my mom is 75.)
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • @SunflowerMama428 That is adorable!!  I am also excited to see DS becoming a big brother--it is going to be a fun journey!  How old is your DS again?
  • We set up the bassinet in our bedroom. DS comes running in this morning, goes to the bassinet and says “baby where are you” with the saddest look on his face! Omg it broke my heart. He’s going to love this baby so much I can’t wait to see them together! 
    My nephew is 3.5 and he asks every day if baby Michael is ready to be born yet. He got to feel him kick over Thanksgiving and he was so excited! He was like "is he ready to come out now??" They're going to be so adorable! 
  • @magnolia305 he’s 3. I told him Abel was still in my tummy so he put his ear to my belly and goes “yup, still there” like so matter of factly lol 


  • I feel like the older my parents get, the less F-s they give. Which is funny because they're the ones who were all about acting properly and being considerate of others growing up. Specifically my mom, who I kind of ignore here and there too. 
  • babybro218babybro218 member
    edited November 2017
    I had a great aunt who, when I was in college, told me flat out that she loves being old because she can say whatever she wants.  My father (73) is also embracing this lifestyle and has no filter whatsoever.  I'm learning to ignore most of what he says. My brother and H love to encourage him.  

    ETA: I interviewed said great aunt for a project my senior year in high school and her parting words to me were:  "The important thing now is to get married.  It doesn't matter who you marry now, because it won't last, but no one will want to marry you later if you haven't been married before."  Those words haunted me for the next 20 years.
  • hms1219 said:
    Checkout lady at the grocery store this evening “looks like there’s not much room left in that hoodie.”  It’s my husbands sweatshirt and I didn’t think it looked that tight  :( 

    Ouch! Why do people think they can get away with these comments just because we're pregnant?
  • Two people at work have said to me now, "Aren't you excited for your vacation with the baby??" I'm a FTM, but I'm pretty sure recovering from childbirth and taking care of a newborn is hardly a "vacation."

  • Ugghh @caitb13 I've heard this one multiple times too... A few saying they want to get pregnant again so they can go on maternity leave. I'm getting anxiety already thinking how 3 months is not nearly enough time to spend with my baby... 

    DD angel baby 10/16 <3
    Rainbow Due 02/20/18


  • alemarie1 said:
    Ugghh @caitb13 I've heard this one multiple times too... A few saying they want to get pregnant again so they can go on maternity leave. I'm getting anxiety already thinking how 3 months is not nearly enough time to spend with my baby... 
    I'm anxious that I'll get pulled out on bed rest early and lose time afterwards. Even though I'd technically still be on medical leave, if I'm gone longer than 12 weeks, my company puts my insurance on cobra. I can't afford that because it's my whole family so we'll over $1k a month. So I have no choice but to work up to my scheduled c-section date so i can get the 8 weeks disability & 6 weeks baby bonding. (I have enough vacation that will cover the week & a half overlap into my 12 weeks inactive.) 3 1/2 months is not enough time!

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  • Yikes! @rainafire77I really hope that doesn't happen (for lots of reasons)

    right @alemarie1?? It's like they don't remember what it was like to have a baby

  • libbodeelibbodee member
    edited December 2017
    Random old lady at Walmart: " When is baby coming?"
    Me: "not for a couple months"
    Lady: " sure you don't have two in there?" 
    Me: " not yet"
    ?? My comebacks don't even make sense any more

    Eta: there is also a lady at my work who every time she sees me says "hello there baby!" At my stomach and makes comments about how it's not fair that she isn't supposed to touch my belly and then proceeds to reach out and touch me anyway. My mom has only been allowed to one time! This lady is a grandma and still has no boundaries. Next time she reaches out I'm going to say "ahhh!" And turn my whole body away to sheild my belly.
  • One of my first graders as he was leaving my classroom put his hand on my belly and informed me that I had a big belly. Gotta love their lack of filter at that age...
  • One of my first graders as he was leaving my classroom put his hand on my belly and informed me that I had a big belly. Gotta love their lack of filter at that age...
    My first graders comment on it all the time and laugh " woa your belly is really big today!!!" Thanks. 
    It's hard not to laugh with them because they are so silly. 
  • @Chawk17 for sure! I take it in stride because I know it's all innocent and not meant maliciously. 

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  • I forgot this gem but was reminded when I was going through my shower gifts yesterday to sort everything: MIL bought a ton of baby clothes and hung them up around her house to decorate for the shower she was throwing me (and I truly appreciate all the clothes and effort!) but attached to one of the onesies was this pin of tiny feet. The paper with the pin said it was "Precious Feet" and was the same size as the feet of a 10-week old fetus. So I googled, and it turns out to be the symbol of a pro-life group trying to raise awareness. This is not the first time my MIL has made pro-life statements to me since I got pregnant (she's staunchly pro-life while I'm pro-choice) and it just makes me so uncomfortable because I don't understand her motive. I mean, newsflash, we're keeping the baby we spent $28K doing IVF for...so...what exactly is she trying to accomplish?
    I also am pro choice, and get annoyed when people rub their views in.  But you're 30+ weeks...DUH you're keeping it..(plus you wanted it, and are financially invested ect, ect, ect).....  annoying. 
  • @eggplantface I get frustrated that my extended family thinks pro-choice means pro-abortion and are not interested in hearing any other POV. Ugh. Sorry that your MIL is spamming you with her views.
  • Yeah @eggplantface that's weird.  You spent a fortune to get pregnant and are almost due.  How strange
  • WTF MIL. @eggplantface that’s so weird. 
  • People around here really need to improve their social skills.  Yelling "PREGGERS!" at someone you see maybe once a month and only say "Hi" to in passing is not an acceptable greeting or way of acknowledging their pregnancy.
  • I'm with you guys in my confusion at her motivation. Unless she sees this as an opportunity to change my views? It's not like we talk about it ever. But who knows. I just ignore it and breeze on by.

    @babybro218 Because you're not really pregnant unless someone tells you you are. Loudly.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • Ive got one- finally.
    Went for 30 week us today and found out shes in the 1%growth. Texted mom who is a family nurse practitioner.
    She said " are you eating well?"
     I am eating. How rude to assume I'm not taking care of myself... im gaining 2 pounds every appointment. 
  • Today at church all the old ladies decided to randomly start calling me "little mama" i was trying so hard not to roll my eyes the whole time. I don't know why they decided to start doing this,  they all know my name...
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • Gpa-IL has taken to saying hello and goodbye to my belly/the baby before me. Like words, not just a rub.

    I hugged his belly goodbye as a joke reply and he was saying it was too bad he didn't have any gas. He's my favorite of the in-laws :)
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