I just don't get why people feel the need to share their opinions and thoughts about EVERYTHING. Like even if I had a thought like "OMG _ children I would be so overwhelmed" or "Hmm isn't ___ young/old/just right to be having kids" I WOULD NEVER SAY IT. Geeeez people need to learn to keep their mouths shut.
My cousin's wife is pregnant and due a few days before me, and the amount of comments comparing us/how far along we each looked over Thanksgiving made me want to commit murder.
@ShawnnaO I mostly just tried to ignore it. The worst part was comments like "Well she's just so tiny to begin with" which always just feels so loaded and gross to me. I definitely missed wine over the trip, though. lol.
Jesus. It's tough enough when you're just doing the comparing to yourself. There are days I decide that I'm too big. Then I'll decide that I'm too small and it means my baby is too small and I'm not feeding it appropriately and I'm already a terrible mom. I can't imagine having people openly talking about it. What is wrong with them? Doesn't it just make you want to ask them how they think that's an okay thing to talk about? Or say, "Gosh Aunt Betty. You're five years younger than Aunt Margaret and you definitely look ten years OLDER than her!"
And as far as the people who are all "Oh wow, aren't you too young?" or "won't you be overwhelmed" what response are they hoping for? "Oh, damn! Now that you point it out, I just realized I AM too young and/or it's too many kids. I think I'll drop this one off at a fire station. You know anyone in the market for a baby?"
When MIL asked me first thing if I was hoping for a boy or a girl and said, " And don't give me the 'As long as it's healthy' crap" I told her that the question is a trap and asked her if I'm supposed to say that if it's a the wrong kind I'm going to put it on an ice floe.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@ksmwalters the comparison comments can eff off. With my first my belly never got very big and he had iugr, plus I had complications. It really pissed me off to no end to be compared to someone who was having a healthy and easy pregnancy. It was worse after he was born because then it was “so and so’s baby is younger than yours and SO MUCH BIGGER”. DH’s Mom was especially bad about comparing my small, healthy son to the neighbors kid who was super chunky. I told her one day being fat didn’t equal healthy. Maybe harsh, but I couldn’t take it. Can’t we just be thankful for our healthy babies and not be compared to other moms??
At church two different people asked if this one was planned or an oops since we already have one of each. we were told we have the perfect family, a boy and a girl why would we have more? Tell me, you have to have a prefence one way or another on girl or boy don't just use that healthy baby line.
I wish that when people ask when I'm due... and I respond "mid- March" they would stop saying.... " looong ways to go still eh?"
like seriously - I'm aware. i am do uncomfortable and miserable already. I don't need the verbal reminder that I'm still months away from the finish line.
I wish that when people ask when I'm due... and I respond "mid- March" they would stop saying.... " looong ways to go still eh?"
like seriously - I'm aware. i am do uncomfortable and miserable already. I don't need the verbal reminder that I'm still months away from the finish line.
Yep. I've heard this at work every single day this week.
There was a lull but a variety of ppl are back to telling me how different life is about to be and how tired/sleep deprived/overwhelmed I will feel during the first month of the baby's life. What, life is about to change?!!! I didn't realize!! Who knew?!
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married: 5.27.16 Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
@bb3vj3n, I don't even tell people I'm due at the end of March. I just say March. They can assume March 1st if they want. Which I assume many of them do since I also get a lot of comments of how big I am already (insert eye roll here). I've gotten a LOT of surprised looks when I say March, like people are expecting me to say "any day now"
@bb3vj3n ummmmm March isn't that far away!! I don't know about you but with the holidays smack dab in the middle of this pregnancy, time is flying by!!
I get a ton of the one-of-each comments - or 'Now you'll have the perfect family.' (No we won't because we're all weird!)
Tonight, I went with my mom to an event at her church, where I went, too, until about 2.5 years ago. Someone who apparently recognized me accosted me in the bathroom for the sole purpose of saying, "Last time I saw you, you were pregnant then, too!" What a random, weird thing to say. I responded, "Yes, I've been pregnant for 2.5 years," and left the bathroom as quickly as I could.
Me: umm this app is telling me I'm gaining too much weight. DH: that's what I told you too. Me: heeeey ... Me: well I'm still within the recommended weight just gaining it a bit too fast. DH: that's what I told you. Me: .... well I shouldn't eat fast food then. DH: ya, that's what I've told you.
Me in my head: WTF. Is he looking for a day of silence from me? Buh humbug.
Me in my head to my baby: baby, I love you. I'm eating healthy, but yes, I'm choosing fast food sometimes because you are craving it too Mama may gain a few extra pounds, but it's all good. As long as I'm eating more healthy foods than not, we are gonna be ok.
Me in my head: ok. Not gonna feel guilty. Psssht. He ain't got nothing on this happy mama. Whateves.
I’ve officially reached the point where I’ve “popped” enough that rando people out and about feel the need to comment. *joy* Yesterday at Sprouts the lady checking me out asked what I was having/when I was due and when I said “March 20th” she REACHED OUT TO TOUCH MY BELLY and said “Stay put for 5 more days baby that’s my birthday!!!” Internally I was like “Bitch I don’t know you I don’t want my baby born on your birthday!!” And then I had a client asking when I was due and I kind of sighed before answering (more from moving around/she was a lot) and she responded “Oh you what that baby out!” I just smiled and said, “Nope, definitely want him to cook some more; his nursery isn’t even ready.” People are ridiculous.
I’ve officially reached the point where I’ve “popped” enough that rando people out and about feel the need to comment. *joy* Yesterday at Sprouts the lady checking me out asked what I was having/when I was due and when I said “March 20th” she REACHED OUT TO TOUCH MY BELLY and said “Stay put for 5 more days baby that’s my birthday!!!” Internally I was like “Bitch I don’t know you I don’t want my baby born on your birthday!!” And then I had a client asking when I was due and I kind of sighed before answering (more from moving around/she was a lot) and she responded “Oh you what that baby out!” I just smiled and said, “Nope, definitely want him to cook some more; his nursery isn’t even ready.” People are ridiculous.
ALL.OF.THIS.Especially "oooh, March is a good month. You should/shouldn't have him on x cause it's my birthday". I'll make sure to keep him in until that day or yell at him not to come out on your day!
Within the last two days I have had: ”you don’t even look pregnant” ”when are you due? March?! Are you sure it’s not any day now?” ”how many do you have in there?” ”you are blowing up” ”don’t eat that. You are on your way to getting fat.”
i get it. I put on a bit of weight in the last two weeks. Yes, more than I would like to but I am aware. F off. I can’t imagine what it will be like in the 3rd trimester.
I have also had more people touch my belly than I am comfortable with. My friends and family know better but it is aquantainces. I am not a touchy person. I find Giving hugs hello/goodbye exhausting and it has taken me pretty much my whole life to get somewhat comfortable with it. If you aren’t H or my kids- don’t touch my belly!
@k318 your weight is your business! I don’t understand how anyone who is not your doctor thinks it is even remotely ok to comment on it. It drives me crazy!
The entire topic of looking small is so frustrating to me even though I know people are just trying to be friendly for the most part.
1) My son was a very small baby, so it's not really shocking. 2) My fundal height is actually measuring right on track. 3) I'm being monitored for potential IUGR due to my atypical umbilical cord placement, so thanks for putting salt on the wound since I'm already worried about that.
@day38 I feel ya! It hasn't been happening as much lately, but for a while I was getting comments like, "are you sure there's a baby in there?" "I had a huge bump by the time I was __ weeks along! Where's yours?" "are you sure the baby's still growing?"
Like what the hell. Even if you're trying to give me compliment, it's not coming off that way and hearing things like that made me worry too. Why can't everyone just agree not to comment on a woman's size? So annoying. Don't listen to them!
I was asked tonight when the last time I had a period was. I am guessing because I have kids close in age, but not really that close in age IMO to warrant a discussion about my period with a total stranger. Seriously, people really think nothing is off limits with pregnant women.
One of the docs I work with.. sweetest older guy ever... saw me the other day and asked how many weeks I am now. I told him 24 and he said oh let me see and put his ear right up close to my belly hahahaha. I couldn't do anything but laugh.
@DDRRT1982 I literally had to leave and come back and look at this again. I can't even comprehend that a stranger would ask that. @syssa-o "not even close."
Guys I got my first “are you sure it’s just one in there?” Comment yesterday when I was saying on FB that my stomach touches the stearing wheel when I drive. Yeah I’m pretty sure I would know by know if it was multiples but thanks for making me feel more huge than I ALREADY feel?
@ShawnnaO Yep I got that for the first time last week at a trade show from a prospective client. Super awkward... She backtracked and counted that I only had three months to go, but OMG- why would you say that?
I was just so shocked and confused because I don't feel extra big. JERKS!
I told DH that I was done going to church until after baby is born. Mostly because of ONE annoying lady. She weekly asks when I am due. C'mon lady, you just asked me last week. Then she feels my stomach and tells me how big I am for still having 3 more months to go. She was this bad with DD I remember. And I did skip the last few Sundays because I just did not want to deal with her. Also, about 6 months after I had DD she was giving me 'advice' on how to get rid of my baby weight. And she is no small lady herself. But she told me she got rid of hers by getting on her hands and knees and scrubbing the floor. Sorry, kinda went on a rant there. But, UGH. This lady!!!
There is a really nice older guy where I work that helps my husband and I out a lot, and he always asks how I'm feeling. Well today, I hear him in the lobby ask my husband if the chubby lady is here... I know he was just trying to be funny, and I jokingly called him out on it. He starts back peddling since he didn't realize I was in hearing range and says he was talking about our dog(a really large husky). Riiiiight.... That's so much better
Well today was annoying. I wore what I thought was a cute dress and it is BUT it's the kind of outfit that apparent makes even a pregnant woman look huge because at work someone actually asked me if my due date was correct because I'm so large it looks like I'm due at the end of the month... everyone I walked by made some comment avout how i "POPPED " even more over the weekend and wow this is a big baby...
Stfu people.
And yeah, my family makes big, tall babies so bite me! I'm already prepared to skip the NB clothes, you don't have to remind me all damn day!!
I saw a bunch of people this weekend (DH’s friends) who I saw the weekend before as well, so many of the you got huge! You didn’t look this big last weekend! All true but I already feel like a whale! I know gaining weight is part of pregnancy but it is something I have a hard time dealing with, especially since I spent so much of my nonpregnant time working on my fitness. I think I want to hide until March.
One nice thing though- holiday parties where I have to mingle with DH’s colleagues are much easier pregnant! They have all been super sweet and rather than drinking to be more comfortable around people and then worrying that I said something stupid, small talk about baby and work are more comfortable for me. It is nice to have people giving compliments and congratulations when first meeting them.
WIth my 2nd pregnancy some lady at the gym told me I’m way bigger than her daughter, who was further along than me. I said ‘go home and tell your daughter you said that to me...’ Wtf is wrong with people?
So we had several inches of snow on Friday, a rarity this early in Georgia. On Sunday my MIL & FIL came over for dinner, and I was recounting to my MIL how I was sad when I realized that my snow coats wouldn't zip. (Mostly joking around.) She said she had tons of old coats of my FIL's/BIL's and DH's that I could use if I needed to. I know she was just trying to be nice but I wanted to say "Listen, if I need to I'll just buy a maternity coat. I don't want to feel like the Stay Puft marshmallow man and look like him in giant, old men’s coats.” Related: I am crabby.
Soooo...some maternity clothing fits me to a snug and clearly you can see my "big" bump. Then there are other women at work, 2 due before me and 1 after, that wear clothing that are more loose. Honestly, they could be just as big as me, if not even bigger but I'm not compairing, I honestly don't care. But I get all the "wow you're huge" comments when we are together. You gotta wear what is comfortable for you...its people around us that need to learn manners. Sheesh. Just say, "you look great"...why put in words like 'big' or 'tiny'? People don't think about how their words can be hurtful or maybe they don't care.
@nancysimp I think people think, that because it’s not a permanent state of being, they can say whatever they want about our pregnant bodies and it won’t negativelg effect us/continue to effect us post-pregnancy. It’s kind of sad. No one would go up to a not pregnant person and say “wow you’re huge!” So why do they do it to a pregnant woman?
Re: Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women
My cousin's wife is pregnant and due a few days before me, and the amount of comments comparing us/how far along we each looked over Thanksgiving made me want to commit murder.
And as far as the people who are all "Oh wow, aren't you too young?" or "won't you be overwhelmed" what response are they hoping for? "Oh, damn! Now that you point it out, I just realized I AM too young and/or it's too many kids. I think I'll drop this one off at a fire station. You know anyone in the market for a baby?"
When MIL asked me first thing if I was hoping for a boy or a girl and said, " And don't give me the 'As long as it's healthy' crap" I told her that the question is a trap and asked her if I'm supposed to say that if it's a the wrong kind I'm going to put it on an ice floe.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
we were told we have the perfect family, a boy and a girl why would we have more?
Tell me, you have to have a prefence one way or another on girl or boy don't just use that healthy baby line.
like seriously - I'm aware. i am do uncomfortable and miserable already. I don't need the verbal reminder that I'm still months away from the finish line.
There was a lull but a variety of ppl are back to telling me how different life is about to be and how tired/sleep deprived/overwhelmed I will feel during the first month of the baby's life. What, life is about to change?!!! I didn't realize!! Who knew?!
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Tonight, I went with my mom to an event at her church, where I went, too, until about 2.5 years ago. Someone who apparently recognized me accosted me in the bathroom for the sole purpose of saying, "Last time I saw you, you were pregnant then, too!" What a random, weird thing to say. I responded, "Yes, I've been pregnant for 2.5 years," and left the bathroom as quickly as I could.
DH: that's what I told you too.
Me: heeeey
...
Me: well I'm still within the recommended weight just gaining it a bit too fast.
DH: that's what I told you.
Me: .... well I shouldn't eat fast food then.
DH: ya, that's what I've told you.
Me in my head: WTF. Is he looking for a day of silence from me? Buh humbug.
Me in my head to my baby: baby, I love you. I'm eating healthy, but yes, I'm choosing fast food sometimes because you are craving it too
Me in my head: ok. Not gonna feel guilty. Psssht. He ain't got nothing on this happy mama. Whateves.
I front loaded weight and slowed way down at the end last time. This time, I was slow to put on weight but it's coming on more and more quickly now.
Ignore the scale. Ignore the weight articles. It doesn't help. Focus on the great job you're doing for your sweet baby!
”you don’t even look pregnant”
”when are you due? March?! Are you sure it’s not any day now?”
”how many do you have in there?”
”you are blowing up”
”don’t eat that. You are on your way to getting fat.”
i get it. I put on a bit of weight in the last two weeks. Yes, more than I would like to but I am aware. F off. I can’t imagine what it will be like in the 3rd trimester.
I have also had more people touch my belly than I am comfortable with. My friends and family know better but it is aquantainces. I am not a touchy person. I find Giving hugs hello/goodbye exhausting and it has taken me pretty much my whole life to get somewhat comfortable with it. If you aren’t H or my kids- don’t touch my belly!
1) My son was a very small baby, so it's not really shocking.
2) My fundal height is actually measuring right on track.
3) I'm being monitored for potential IUGR due to my atypical umbilical cord placement, so thanks for putting salt on the wound since I'm already worried about that.
Pregnant with #2:
Like what the hell. Even if you're trying to give me compliment, it's not coming off that way and hearing things like that made me worry too. Why can't everyone just agree not to comment on a woman's size? So annoying. Don't listen to them!
they didn’t even get a response. they got a scowl.
@syssa-o "not even close."
I was just so shocked and confused because I don't feel extra big. JERKS!
She was this bad with DD I remember. And I did skip the last few Sundays because I just did not want to deal with her. Also, about 6 months after I had DD she was giving me 'advice' on how to get rid of my baby weight. And she is no small lady herself. But she told me she got rid of hers by getting on her hands and knees and scrubbing the floor.
Sorry, kinda went on a rant there. But, UGH. This lady!!!
Stfu people.
And yeah, my family makes big, tall babies so bite me! I'm already prepared to skip the NB clothes, you don't have to remind me all damn day!!
End rant.
One nice thing though- holiday parties where I have to mingle with DH’s colleagues are much easier pregnant! They have all been super sweet and rather than drinking to be more comfortable around people and then worrying that I said something stupid, small talk about baby and work are more comfortable for me. It is nice to have people giving compliments and congratulations when first meeting them.
I said ‘go home and tell your daughter you said that to me...’
Wtf is wrong with people?