I never knew l&d gifts were a thing until after I left the hospital with DD. I never ended up doing one.. but with DD, we had so many amazing staff helping us through out the day while I was labouring down. One of the nurses was with us for nearly 24 hours and went above and beyond any of my expectations. I like the idea of bringing coffee & donuts this time around, if I remember. I know some people who just drop off a birth announcement later on with a sweet note written on the back. I agree that it is their job to assist during delivery, but some nurses and staff really outshine others.
Re nurse gifts - - my sister brought cookies and left them at the nurse's station on the recovery floor. I didn't do anything for the L&D nurses (I was only with them for 7 hours total?).
gifts for the staff? I've never heard of this. I kind of feel like there's just SO much going on the whole time you're in, that'd be the last thing I think about. when we were in with DS, my sister did bring us a pie. we kept it in the fridge in the nurses station. we never even touched it so when we left, we told them to have at it. so maybe that was a gift? lol
as for swearing. my mom's favorite word is f#ck. I said it waaay to much before DS. I really cut back. but I'm constantly on my mom to remind her to watch her mouth. maybe its the autism spectrum? but he's like a parrot. the stuff he was repeating from her was NOT ok for when he started school lol.
me:35 DH:34 DS: born oct 2012 TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16 BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17 BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
I plan to have H buy donuts or cookies or something for the staff when it comes time for me to deliver. I know home baked goods usually aren't eaten, so that'd be a waste. But as a healthcare worker, carbs are the best. Even like bagels and cream cheese from Panera would be cool. Or a fruit basket.
I also work in health care and know how much some patients can suck the life out of you without really meaning to, and if I can give them something to brighten their day a little, I'll gladly do so. But I wouldn't be keeping the food in my room. I'd have it brought to the nurses station or the break room so everyone can enjoy. I don't want to stare at sugar cookies while I'm being barred from solid foods in labour.
But yeah, as someone else said - If you do gifts, keep it to food and regular cards and stuff like that. Gift cards are a grey area that you're likely wasting money on depending on the policies, and definitely no cash.
Re swearing - - I swear so much. However, once DS was born and started repeating things I said, my language cleared up tremendously (at home - - I swear at work).
I just fell down the rabbit hole of May's Bump Cream thread. Wow, that's a doozie. They bring us up again as an example of a rude board. I don't get it - that whole thread is out of control.
ETA - And someone say's they would consider themselves one of the nicest boards out there. OK...now you're just trying too hard.
@izza2@LaceyBee522 I hate the word nice. I hate being described as nice (which I rarely am, TBH). Because I feel like 99% of the time, when people say someone is nice what they mean is that person is agreeable and sort of a pushover. It rarely means kind or compassionate or someone you want to be around, etc. It means agreeable because if you could describe someone in any more detailed way, you would. Nice is bland and boring. And I have no interest in just being agreeable.
So I am looking into doulas and I seem to have a lot of questions/confusion would other people be interested in a whole tread dedicated to choosing a doula?
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@MoonOverGoldsboro honestly it was all info I knew already and is standard across Manhattan hospitals, but the shared post partum rooms are sooooo small, and the only showers are down the hall. Like, it’s my worst dorm fears come to life lol, and one of the reasons I went to NYU for college was because each dorm room had a private bathroom lol! The delivery rooms are private so that’s fine, but ughhhh seriously the shared recovery room was so small that I’d be able to touch my roommates face from bed with minimal effort. And DH would only be allowed to visit 8am-10pm.
Wait... you guys weren’t allowed to eat during labor in hospital? I had 3 meals a day delivered to me in my room! Is that standard? Or special circumstances?
@bkrahn once you arrive at the hospital, you're not allowed to eat. But once you deliver you can eat. My hospital does deliver 3 meals/day after delivery, but I'd just order from Seamless or whatever. Blehck hospital food.
@doxiemoxie212 oh wow, that’s interesting! I wonder maybe if it’s different in Canada.. I laboured for 36 hours at the hospital and had food delivered every 4 hours or so the entire time I was there
@bkrahn in the US, generally speaking, they won't let you eat once you arrive at the hospital because if you have to have a C-section, the anesthesia team is not down with vomit/aspiration. They do recommend you eat as much as you can before you arrive at the hospital, and the eating policy is honestly one of the reasons why my OB supports laboring at home as long as possible (especially for someone like me who lives 2 blocks away).
Re: vomit/aspiration, I actually have a friend who had to have a c-section, and she did start vomiting during the operation (she ate before arriving at the hospital), and she did aspirate it. She said it's really scary because you can't feel that you're about to vomit until there is vomit in your mouth. So.... I was happy to hear that my hospital at least allows clear liquids, so jello, popsicles, clear broth, etc., are fine.
@krashke yeah, I don't feel like my chances of getting the birth center are great. And then if I deliver more than a week early or a week late, I can't do the birth center anyway, so it becomes moot......... sigh At least my hospital is only $380/night for a private room if you get one. Most hospitals in Manhattan are (no joke) $1000/night for a private room, and it's just as unlikely to get one, so.... blessings?
No food during labor is an out of date rule that is slowly being recognized as so and hospitals/doctors are slowly coming around to “allowing” it.
Givinf birth is intense, and pushing after potentially hours and hours of no food or nurishment is like expecting someone to run a marathon without eating for a week before hand. Doesn’t really add up.
Definitely something you want to talk to your doctor about. If they “don’t allow” you to eat during labor, they aren’t practicing evidence based care.
(I use “allow” in parentheses because nobody can actually keep you from eating - it’s your body)
@doxiemoxie212 ohh, yeah that I can see. That makes a lot of sense. When I had a d&c this spring, they didn’t let me eat either for the anesthesia. But in general I’ve never had any restrictions.
@doxiemoxie212 Ugghhhh. I gotta say, the shared recovery room, and most especially not getting to have your DH stay the night, sounds so, so crappy. I will cross my fingers for the birth center, or at least for a private room. You need some kind of upgrade, seriously.
I am now imagining how creepy it would be to wake up in the hospital to your roommate touching your face...
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
That post delivery room sounds like pure hell. You and your roommate suppose to help each other out with your babes since DHs aren't there? Pass them off to school other from bed to bed? Praying you get a private! Or get the move that you want out of NY!!
@burlapandlace omgosh. Hope you have a few boxes of tissues. But good decision to start!
me:35 DH:34 DS: born oct 2012 TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16 BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17 BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
@catlady1215 - I saw that, but I'm pretty sure they were referring to another thread that was mentioned earlier in their thread, not the one here. I'm kind of over the obsession between our BMBs at this point. They have no idea who we are and think we're "mean" and full of "drama", and if that makes them feel better, then so be it. But we know the truth, and that's what matters.
@doxiemoxie212 - I hate the thought of shared PP rooms, although I know it's kind of standard in most bigger hospitals. We do clinical at St. Luke's in Utica, and they have shared PP rooms, with like 5? private rooms. But, they allow the s/o's or the support person (i.e.: best friend/sister/etc. if they don't have a s/o) to spend the night, regardless of whether they're sharing or not. Their rooms are decently sized, but definitely not big enough for two PP mothers, two s/o's, and two babies... It gets cramped quick. They do make it so that they have all of the rooms occupied with one PP mother before doubling up, unless it's a special case where two people want to share a PP room.
@izza2 these pp rooms were maybe 10x10? Like beyond cramped and fully all the way to zero room after the beds and bassinets. Also same thing, exactly 5 private rooms available... sigh
uh those shared rooms sound HORRIBLE. I can't even imagine. You need ALL the rest after you have baby and you can't comfortably do that with someone else and two BRAND new newborns trying to figure out life in there. God forbid if I had just gotten my new babe to sleep and the other one in the room started crying and woke it up. I would probably just start sobbing.
No longer am I taking for granted that shared rooms in my area, at ALL of the hospitals, is unheard of. They all have beds or pull out couches for spouses. My hubs went home the first night in the hospital to care for the dogs and it was fine, nbd, but he was there the 2nd night.
@kmurdock925 - I delivered DS#2 at OSU. Which hospital did you end up at?
As far as eating during delivery - My boys were born in different cities in different hospitals, both were inductions. With DS1 I was allowed to order dinner before starting pitocin (I had been in triage for a few hours before they decided to induce), and allowed to order breakfast the next morning before they broke my water. I think I had a couple popsicles too. Had DS1 around 4:45 pm.
With DS2 they let me have a bowl of cereal before the 5:30 am induction (I was inpatient with pre-e), but only ice chips/popsicles after that. DS2 was born around 6 pm.
First Son - born 2013
Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). First open heart surgery at 5 days old. He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing. Third Son - due June 9, 2018
I had a dream about wine last night.... I had a nice big glass and it was all so real, I could taste it, and was about halfway through before I realized I shouldn’t be drinking it
@mytinc - I went to Riverside. My doc goes there and to St. Anns. My Friend is a L&D nurse at Dublin Methodist, and that hospital is BEAUTIFUL and the maternity rooms are HUGE and so nice so I would like to go there but eh, changing doctors doesn't sound like fun. Hubs and I have tossed around the idea of just showing up to L&D at Dublin anyway because I really don't care who delivers the baby (my doc didn't make it to DD's birth in time).
Riverside messed the billing all up for DD so we're a little salty about that, lol. Other than that the care was great.
@doxiemoxie212 - Eek. 10x10 isn't nearly big enough for two people PP! Especially considering you can have grandparents, siblings, etc. all coming to visit while in the hospital... That's poor planning on their part. I know the rooms at St. Luke's are probably 20x20 if I had to guess?
I had a friend deliver at Riverside and she had a great experience. I actually live an hour away, so DS1 wasn't born in Columbus. DS2 had to go to Nationwide Children's right after birth (as in an hour later), so I had to deliver at OSU (that was where my material fetal medicine care was based out of). He was born during a home football game and I could see the stadium from my room. No complaints about my care there.
PS - they lost that game.
First Son - born 2013
Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). First open heart surgery at 5 days old. He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing. Third Son - due June 9, 2018
@izza2 yeah, so the deal is that the L&D rooms are really big - like, easily 20x20, and they're all single occupancy. So I can't complain on that front, but the PP rooms are crazy small. I'm debating touring other hospitals to see if I want to try to swap providers, but the benefit of this hospital is that it's literally two blocks from our apt, so I feel like I'd be soooo much more comfortable laboring at home for a while, etc., and they also said you can request to leave after a vaginal birth 24 hours later, which I think if home is really close to the hospital is something I'd be into. St Luke's is like, depending on time of day/day of the week, a jooouuurney from my apt. Like, IDK, I know people get in cabs while in labor, but that just seems like such a nightmare to me. I just want to come to California so none of this is an issue!! lol
Also, FYI, for anyone curious, although it is NY state law that you must leave the hospital with baby in a carseat, apparently the low down on NYC hospitals is that they do not want to see that carseat lol. They say it takes up way too much room in the PP rooms, and they know almost everyone walks home with baby, so they DGAF. I'm probably still going to take baby home in the Doona, but DH wants me to reconsider.
@mytinc - I had zero issues with Riverside other than the billing. The nurses were fantastic! My hubs doesn't like it but that is just because he drove ambulances when he was in college and they did a lot of drop offs there and just has eh memories.
Eek very scary having to transfer. Riverside has whatever the highest level of nicu/icu care is (too lazy to research what it is actually called) so I know that holds a lot of appeal to people. NW Childrens is fantastic. Did he get a cute little OSU swaddle/onesie?! I LOVE how they dress the babies up, especially for beat *ichigan week.
I lived on the 20th floor in Morrill tower when I went to OSU so I could see right into the shoe to watch the games...I'm sure your fam didn't mind that view while hanging with you.
Re: Weekly Randoms w/o Dec 4
as for swearing. my mom's favorite word is f#ck. I said it waaay to much before DS. I really cut back. but I'm constantly on my mom to remind her to watch her mouth. maybe its the autism spectrum? but he's like a parrot. the stuff he was repeating from her was NOT ok for when he started school lol.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
I also work in health care and know how much some patients can suck the life out of you without really meaning to, and if I can give them something to brighten their day a little, I'll gladly do so.
But I wouldn't be keeping the food in my room. I'd have it brought to the nurses station or the break room so everyone can enjoy. I don't want to stare at sugar cookies while I'm being barred from solid foods in labour.
But yeah, as someone else said - If you do gifts, keep it to food and regular cards and stuff like that. Gift cards are a grey area that you're likely wasting money on depending on the policies, and definitely no cash.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
ETA - And someone say's they would consider themselves one of the nicest boards out there. OK...now you're just trying too hard.
Just like drive-by's tend to have a different definition of "rude" or "mean" than most people do..
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Me: 32 | DH: 36
Married June 2005
1/2016 - TTC#1
4/2017 - Initial RE visit, Dx: Severe MFI (Varicocele, 14% motility, 3% progression, but normal count)
7/2017 - Stage 3 endometriosis discovered during laparoscopic removal of ovarian cyst
9/27/2017 - BFP at 10dpo (cycle 22), baby boy due June 9, 2018
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Re: vomit/aspiration, I actually have a friend who had to have a c-section, and she did start vomiting during the operation (she ate before arriving at the hospital), and she did aspirate it. She said it's really scary because you can't feel that you're about to vomit until there is vomit in your mouth. So....
@bkrahn they don’t let you eat in case you need emergency surgery so you don’t aspirate while under anesthesia.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Givinf birth is intense, and pushing after potentially hours and hours of no food or nurishment is like expecting someone to run a marathon without eating for a week before hand. Doesn’t really add up.
Definitely something you want to talk to your doctor about. If they “don’t allow” you to eat during labor, they aren’t practicing evidence based care.
(I use “allow” in parentheses because nobody can actually keep you from eating - it’s your body)
I am now imagining how creepy it would be to wake up in the hospital to your roommate touching your face...
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
@burlapandlace omgosh. Hope you have a few boxes of tissues. But good decision to start!
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
And you all handled it as i would have expected. Why so much 'June is drama!' crap?? That was what 2 times?
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
I'm kind of over the obsession between our BMBs at this point. They have no idea who we are and think we're "mean" and full of "drama", and if that makes them feel better, then so be it.
But we know the truth, and that's what matters.
@doxiemoxie212 - I hate the thought of shared PP rooms, although I know it's kind of standard in most bigger hospitals. We do clinical at St. Luke's in Utica, and they have shared PP rooms, with like 5? private rooms. But, they allow the s/o's or the support person (i.e.: best friend/sister/etc. if they don't have a s/o) to spend the night, regardless of whether they're sharing or not. Their rooms are decently sized, but definitely not big enough for two PP mothers, two s/o's, and two babies... It gets cramped quick. They do make it so that they have all of the rooms occupied with one PP mother before doubling up, unless it's a special case where two people want to share a PP room.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
uh those shared rooms sound HORRIBLE. I can't even imagine. You need ALL the rest after you have baby and you can't comfortably do that with someone else and two BRAND new newborns trying to figure out life in there. God forbid if I had just gotten my new babe to sleep and the other one in the room started crying and woke it up. I would probably just start sobbing.
No longer am I taking for granted that shared rooms in my area, at ALL of the hospitals, is unheard of. They all have beds or pull out couches for spouses. My hubs went home the first night in the hospital to care for the dogs and it was fine, nbd, but he was there the 2nd night.
As far as eating during delivery - My boys were born in different cities in different hospitals, both were inductions. With DS1 I was allowed to order dinner before starting pitocin (I had been in triage for a few hours before they decided to induce), and allowed to order breakfast the next morning before they broke my water. I think I had a couple popsicles too. Had DS1 around 4:45 pm.
With DS2 they let me have a bowl of cereal before the 5:30 am induction (I was inpatient with pre-e), but only ice chips/popsicles after that. DS2 was born around 6 pm.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
@mytinc - I went to Riverside. My doc goes there and to St. Anns. My Friend is a L&D nurse at Dublin Methodist, and that hospital is BEAUTIFUL and the maternity rooms are HUGE and so nice so I would like to go there but eh, changing doctors doesn't sound like fun. Hubs and I have tossed around the idea of just showing up to L&D at Dublin anyway because I really don't care who delivers the baby (my doc didn't make it to DD's birth in time).
Riverside messed the billing all up for DD so we're a little salty about that, lol. Other than that the care was great.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
PS - they lost that game.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
Also, FYI, for anyone curious, although it is NY state law that you must leave the hospital with baby in a carseat, apparently the low down on NYC hospitals is that they do not want to see that carseat lol. They say it takes up way too much room in the PP rooms, and they know almost everyone walks home with baby, so they DGAF. I'm probably still going to take baby home in the Doona, but DH wants me to reconsider.
@mytinc - I had zero issues with Riverside other than the billing. The nurses were fantastic! My hubs doesn't like it but that is just because he drove ambulances when he was in college and they did a lot of drop offs there and just has eh memories.
Eek very scary having to transfer. Riverside has whatever the highest level of nicu/icu care is (too lazy to research what it is actually called) so I know that holds a lot of appeal to people. NW Childrens is fantastic. Did he get a cute little OSU swaddle/onesie?! I LOVE how they dress the babies up, especially for beat *ichigan week.
I lived on the 20th floor in Morrill tower when I went to OSU so I could see right into the shoe to watch the games...I'm sure your fam didn't mind that view while hanging with you.