Hi all, Been a little MIA since I was in Chicago, and then coming home, I'm starting work again, so it's been a bit of a rough transition. I have been stopping in to lurk and see how you all are doing.
@funkykey so sorry. Man how unfair? Our health care system is ridiculous and you shouldn't have to put something off because of cost. I hope these next few months fly by.
@megmac2010 sorry that you didn't have others to freeze. Hopefully this will work and it won't matter!
@hopeful_mom ooh, triggering soon. How exciting. Can't wait to hear how it goes. Hopefully those last ones will kick it into gear with the trigger shot.
@dragonette505 that sounds like a sweet set up. I used to be in a downstairs out of the way office and I bought a recliner chair off craigslist two years ago when I was pregnant, bc I got so tired, and when my office mate wasn't there on Fridays I used to take short naps. It was great. Now we're upstairs right next to offices and classrooms plus we have a third office mate, so not sure that would work anymore for me. A yoga room and relaxation room sounds awesome.
Paging @marioana99 How you holding up? I'm assuming no news is bad news, but maybe you're too excited to stop in and tell us your good news. Still have everything crossed for you.
To all our newbies, welcome!
AFM- not much to report. Still waiting for my test results. Hopefully either next Friday or the monday after. I think the pill is really messing with me though. I feel exhausted even though I've been sleeping plenty. Also feeling kind of down. I am also organizing a friend's baby shower. Which is probably causing me stress and triggering, but I don't feel it outright. I offered to do it because she didn't have anyone else doing it. We're not like great friends or anything, but we used to be in a book club and then we started doing monthly dinners with another friend. I feel for her because her friends are spread out across the country and family doesn't live nearby and I am kind of in a similar position and I could empathize. I just feel like the older we've gotten the less friends we have. Anyway, I'm sure it will be totally fine. I had a hard time with her being pregnant for a bit, as I did with all my friends, but I'm over it now. It still feels unfair, but hopefully it will finally be my turn soon. It has to be, right? I do feel like after being on the pill for 18 years, when I got off it, I felt different. Lighter somehow. Now that I'm back on it I feel that heaviness again. I don't know, maybe it's in my head. I'm going on a work retreat to start the school year on Monday and Tuesday and I'm feeling a little panicky because I'm not driving which means I can't like get out if I need to. I haven't had a panic attack since last summer when my loss was fresh, but things like overnights bring back the anxiety for me. I'm sure I'll be fine. This is all coupled with DH, who has lots of anxiety, getting certified for Scuba, and he's having all kinds of stress about his open water dive this weekend, so vibe not so great over here. Which is really too bad because I've had such a great, relaxing summer. Sucky way to begin the year. Oh well. Alright, sorry for the novella. Off to bed.
TTC #1
me- 37, DH- 38
Married 6.28.14, started TTC right away BFP Nov 2015, PPROM Feb 2016 ER #1 May 2017, 15 retrieved, 10 fertilized, 3 day 5. ER#2 July 2017, 22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, 6 day 5/6 9 embryos tested for pgs and pgd. FET #1 9.29.17- 1 embryo-BFN FET#2 12.19.17- I embryo-BFP 1/1/18! Happy New Year to me! EDD 9/6/18 Baby boy born 9.11.18- the love of my life!
@Dwmmwd. (((Hugs to you))) I haven't been on BCPs in a very long time, and let me tell you, I'm not looking forward to ot, since that's what they are talking about once I get my post-retrieval AF, in case the timing is off from my natural cycle for the hysteroscopy, and so they can start regulating everything for FET prep. Ugh. I am looking forward to it almost as little as the PIO lol. Except it's a pill so ok? But I hear you, and it's probably not in your head. :/ I dont know what I can say to help, except I'm right there with you. We are mostly stressed about work/money stuff, so the household has been kind of tense. Plus I'm feeling extra emotional, like PMS starting, combined with anxiety bc I now have to wait <i>specifically</i> for the Lupron auth to come through before I can order my meds. Eeep!!! Lol. Fun, right??? ;)
@Dwmmwd and @BusinessWife I dread the BCP each time too and agree there's a heaviness, I get more anxiety, just not myself, I hate it! @Dwmmwd I feel you on the overnights with the anxiety too, Ive never heard anyone else say what Ive always noticed in my own head before so thanks for putting that out there, I'm not the only one. Interesting, and counterintuitive, but my RE has authored several peer reviewed papers that showed stress/anxiety had a positive effect on success in getting pregnant for couples dealing with infertility. Really surprised me, but hey, I'll take it!
@Dwmmwd Yeah we have a lot of nice perks at my office! Whenever docs or acupuncture places talk about reducing stress I'm like: ummmm my job is the least stressful thing in my life. I am sorry about the pill.... I think it sucks. I have thus far not had to use it for a cycle, thank goodness. I told my first clinic that I actually had a very bad reaction to the pill. I started taking it in my late 20's and was sick and laid up on the couch and feeling shitty. I couldn't feel better and tried 4 different kinds. It took 2 years but ultimately I was dx'ed with 2 autoimmune conditions that were likely sparked by taking them. I know most people don't have a long term bad reaction (and if they told me it was the only thing I could do to get a baby I'd take the risk and deal with the consequences later) but whenever people say it makes them feel bad, it totally makes sense. So far I've been allowed to base my ivf's off my natural cycle, but I know that doesn't always work. So sorry that pill is kicking your ass can't believe you're planning a shower! I haven't been to one since (tw) I miscarried a week after attending one of my best friends baby showers 2 yrs ago....
@BusinessWife I feel like when you've already been through so much, there's so much anxiety heading into an IVF. I'd be surprised if you weren't feeling tense. I feel like my mind has been bouncing around since my last AF. If you've been on the pill, hopefully your body won't totally flip out from it again. Maybe taking it between ivf and fet will be more like a break on your body than a burden.
@Momifbysea omg! Stress/anxiety can help?!? Laaaawd! I'm gonna have 10 babies!!! Maybe the adrenaline helps or something? I love to know the way the doc thinks it works..... just curious about the theory
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
I cannot tell you how annoying that post was dear lord!!
AFM: I got the call and it's trigger time y'all!! I feel like its the world series and i'm being called to the plate...its hilarious. This is it game 7...even though its cycle 8 I dont know if its the caffeine in the DECAF coffee from dunkin (i swear i think they switched it) but i just feel super anxious! Today i had a different tech so i'm trying to not stress too much over the sizes that she measured. E2 was 969 yesterday and just went up 100 to 1069 so since it hasn't gone up that much we believe its time to go so we dont lose any...which then means I dont get my RE for ER BUT i get the dr thats the head of the clinic so hoping he can be just as much of a good luck charm I've got 21.5, 20, 19.5, 19, 16.5, 15.5, 12.5, 10.5, 9.5 soooo it seems like 2 have shrunk a lil and others have stayed the same so i'm really hoping that each follie will have a good mature egg ready to go!!! I'm surprised i'm this nervous for it....but excited that its go time!!!
History of TTC in spoiler box
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
Just venting... I've been in a pretty good mood considering being on all the hormone shots & protocols. Now that I am only on bcp waiting to confirm my FET date , I am SUPER grumpy!! I am going on vacation tomorrow & just moody. Has this happened to anyone else?
@Hopeful_mom - Yay for trigger!! Really hopeful for your ER.
@Magallyta - I have waves of grumpiness and moodiness. I think it comes with the TTC and infertility territory. Don't let it ruin your vacation though!
My TTC journey:
Me and DH: 30-35 Unexplained infertility TTC #1 since 2015 11/2015 - BFP! 12/2015 - MC IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal) FET #1 TBD Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!
I'm not feeling so great after taking the trigger shot. Noveral 10,000 units. Could I really be having an allergic reaction to it all of a sudden. having this strange tightness in my left hand and its very tender in one area, feeling super bruised. Dr google says its a reaction. Anyone else experience this? I'm not one to run to hospitals at all. How concerned do I need to be??
History of TTC in spoiler box
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
@Hopeful_mom i would call the after hours line and talk to them. They'll tell you if its something to worry about or not. Youre right to be concerned. That doesnt sound like typical side effects.
TTC #1
me- 37, DH- 38
Married 6.28.14, started TTC right away BFP Nov 2015, PPROM Feb 2016 ER #1 May 2017, 15 retrieved, 10 fertilized, 3 day 5. ER#2 July 2017, 22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, 6 day 5/6 9 embryos tested for pgs and pgd. FET #1 9.29.17- 1 embryo-BFN FET#2 12.19.17- I embryo-BFP 1/1/18! Happy New Year to me! EDD 9/6/18 Baby boy born 9.11.18- the love of my life!
Dwmmwd yes thank u - I did! I'm more concerned about it hurting something for the ER. A lil surprised I haven't heard back from them. Since I have done this before I wouldn't think I would be allergic or anything like that but it is a very strange feeling for sure! You get so close you dont want anything going wrong!
History of TTC in spoiler box
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
@Hopeful_mom - Oh no! That doesn't sound good. I hope you hear good answers from the nurse.
My TTC journey:
Me and DH: 30-35 Unexplained infertility TTC #1 since 2015 11/2015 - BFP! 12/2015 - MC IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal) FET #1 TBD Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!
helloworld9Dwmmwd nurse actually still didn't call back so they put the dr on call through instead...and said i should go to the hospital...r they kidding me!! Maybe its a blood clot and he's just not sure. UGH!!! Obviously I have no desire to go...not sure what to do...
History of TTC in spoiler box
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
@BusinessWife - The sick time sucks. But it's definitely not vacation, it's definitely dealing with a medical issue. When I take the day off to have the fibroid removal surgery, it's not a fun day for me, you know?
I hate it though- I have a new boss (as of last week), and telling him I needed time off one morning for a consultation with a surgeon was NOT fun. But I wanted him to know, it's not something I chose to schedule; when you're dealing with medical issues, it's not like there's a lot of flexibility in picking a time. Like, I can go to the dentist after work - but the surgeon's not going to meet me at 7pm.
But I don't want to give my boss too much information either - because it's personal. It's not like I waltz around talking about the shape of my reproductive organs.
@megmac2010 - obviously, I don't know where @dragonette505 works, but I interviewed at one of the Big Four accounting firms years ago, at one of the fairly central offices, and they had lots of stuff like that - wellness rooms, etc. I think it's more common in some industries than others... You know, something to keep in mind, in case you are thinking of a career change.
@Dwmmwd - Keeping FX for your test results. I hated - HATED - being on the pill, always have. It makes me feel depressed and obsessive, like a little bit paranoid. Even when I was on it suppressing, after 2 weeks I was panicking about minor stuff - I had to actually stop myself and breathe deeply. I think it just affects some people differently than others - for me, I've always noticed a huge difference.
Very kind of you to organize the shower, and it 100% will be your turn soon!! A few of my friends recently have moved away, and I hate it. Like, my 3 closest friends have all or are moving. Two of them because their husbands accepted foreign contracts, and one for her own temporary work placement. I know they'll be back, but I hear you on the as you get older, your friends spread and things change. I actually think IF has changed a lot of my friendships too - some of my other friends who have little kids, I don't see as much - they're so busy with their kids, and they do all kid stuff with the other moms, and because I'm not a mom, I'm not doing kid stuff, so I see them so much less... anyway, it's a little bit isolating.
@Hopeful_mom - I never use the app! It sucks! Excited for your retrieval and hoping this issue with the side effects of the trigger shot are resolved, and that they resolved smoothly and quickly.
yeah pretty scary night i must say and yes I maybe should've gone to the hospital but I did not and thank g-d I'm still here Blood clots can be fatal I just didn't think that was the issue. My other Dr does believe that I am having an allergic reaction for whatever reason but the fact that its getting better and not worse means I should be fine AND more importantly it should NOT cause an issue for ER tomorrow...and lets be honest thats the main concern here.
Crazy that I've taken this shot 5x already and all good, yet this time there was an issue. It definitely feels off but at least not as intense as last night and its only in my hand and arm and not my leg. Always gotta worry about something!
@Dwmmwd i wanted to add as well how lovely it is that you are being so selfless and kind for your friend!Its a true testament to the person you are! Hoping it will be your turn before you know it!!
funkykey i've struggled through the years with some friends (super close // maid of honor close) that have kids and our friendship has changed for sure. I didnt mind in the beginning to go to the kids parties and play dates but they were the ones that stopped inviting me since i didn't have kids and I guess assumed I rather not be bothered. Seems like when its your time you'll be ready to jump back in. For me I'm not upset anymore that i'm no longer close with them, I'm actually angry with them. I want to be a mother and I get family comes first BUT there is something to be said about still being a good friend. And I certainly find getting older that people no longer know how to do that. I'm laughing as I know this has come up before and in that time have written another 2 friends off. By the time my lil pnut comes I'll only have family to celebrate with. Sorry you're feeling isolated! New boss, are you happy with the switch? I can't understand why you don't want to walk around the office talking about your reproductive organs, I always know thats my hot topic of conversation That is the only bonus about not being on my next project right now so the extra stress of the monitoring and ER taking place is no big deal!
History of TTC in spoiler box
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
@Hopeful_mom - I hear you on being angry with the friends. There are 2-3 friends who haven't been such good friends to me during this, and though they improved once I mentioned it, it could have easily gone the other way.
One of the cruelest things about IF is the sheer length of time it takes. I have other friends who've gone through tough times, but at most the tough time seems to last like 2-3 months, maybe 6 months. It's easy to be patient and supportive with someone when they're going through a tough time that's resolved in 6 months. 2+ years, though? I know it can be tough for people to be supportive over that period of time, but it's not nearly as tough as it is to actively live it, day in and day out. Bah.
Anyway, I'm sorry that some of your friends turned out to be duds. It takes a lot of courage to keep going in that kind of environment.
Friends.... it's a funny thing. I really do believe different people are in our lives for different reasons, through different seasons. The ones who turn out to be lifelong will weather through that ebb and flow, and somehow you keep coming back together. That's how it's been for me, anyway.
Take my BFF for instance. We were like sisters growing up. Ages 2-12. Then she moved, I moved, adolescence changed things, and we drifted apart for a long while... even through college, we stayed in touch here and there, but we were on different journies. Then she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding... Then she was the MOH at mine... Then we both started trying at basically the same time. And we both needed IVF. So now, after all this time, we have come back together and been blessed to bond all over again as grown women theough our TTC struggles. And fx we will both get to journey into the future of mommyhood more or less together too!!!
Now another dear old friend I met in Uni. At a job actually at that time. She and her BF didn't have kids yet... I was still single. We were all three roommates. There were plenty of struggles through that time; they got married, had the kids... none of that was an issue, but our friendship was often strained for other reasons. Then I got married - YAY! - And when TTTC and IF hit, she just couldn't relate. Anything she said just pissed me the F off. Lol. So.... even still, now she is one of the few people who know we are doing IVF. And she wants to be supportive, but she just doesn't get where I'm coming from lots of times. Eventually when LOs are on the way, her kids will both be older, and I may or may not want to hear the BTDT baby advice from her. Bc so much of the time what she says just grates on me. But I am her kids', "Auntie." We have been through so much of life's ups and downs, I do hope once our kids start to come along, it may get easier again. We shall see, and it is what it is.
Another dear friend with no kids, come to find out at the bachelorette weekend, she still kind of wished she could have them. :'( Then she went through cancer, and beat it! But if the chances of her having kids before when she was around 40 ish I'm sure just flew right out the window with that. So while she can relate to the health issues aspect, and the medical struggle, I don't feel like she's the right person to go to with this IVF stuff, bc I'm sure there's a part of her that <i>wishes</i> she could be in my shoes, IF and all, but at least with a <i>shot</i> at having kids. I think she has entertained the idea of foster/adopt, so time will tell where her heart leads her, but it was a totally different dynamic when she and I were both just childless couples still. I do hope she can be someone I visit with and comes to the shower, and lunch dates with squish etc. Because I love her dearly, it I also know sometimes its just too hard. :/
Anyway, TL;DR Life and longterm friendships are both funny. *edited typos+clarity
BusinessWife Its very interesting the way IF changes your life and relationships! BUT I also think its maturity and having a voice. Growing up I was more of a people pleaser and my BFF just took advantage of it. I use to be fine with it but you grow and you just don't have the patience that you use to. Her kids used to call me Auntie and its sad I don't have the same relationship with them but I needed to be done for my own sanity. Its hard when someone is so positive and uplifting for others but not for you. AND all of that was prior to IF with her....I can't even imagine dealing with her through IF. I'm sorry for your friend and hope other avenues can bring her to motherhood. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
Its funny you talk about baby advice I can't say I can give baby advice but I've had enough niece, nephews and babysitting under my belt I can hang with the best of them HAAAA!! I only wish I had kids earlier in life because I feel like I WORRY about everything and anything happening to them!
funkykey it sounds like you have some promising friendship and thats awesome! Sorry you're left stranded but at least you know they're returning. I think as time has gone on it makes me more thankful for the wonderful family I have and how important that is. And then the few friends I have that are worth while I value probably even more.
AFM: This numbing feeling in my left arm and leg was quite scary last night. This is the 6th time I'm taking this shot and I've never experienced an issue prior. The dr on call said I should go to the hospital and that was the last thing I wanted to do. He was concerned i could have a blood clot, I took a baby aspirin in hopes that wasn't the case. Luckily this morning my leg was feeling better but my arm was still tender. Since I'm on the mend the dr wasn't too concerned. Can't get over the reaction my hand still feels like its sleeping ugh!!! They said it was smart that I took the baby aspirin as having the leg pain was concerning. I think if that persisted I would've went to the hospital.
Glad i got the call and i'm ready for ER tomorrow. Lets hope my hand is feeling back to normal by then...its so weird!!
History of TTC in spoiler box
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
I agree with everyone else how our struggles can really change our relationships. I think a lot of it has to do with how well you can listen and sympathize with others. Some of my friends did not go through infertility but know others who do, and they are okay for me to talk with. Others just don't understand at all.
My TTC journey:
Me and DH: 30-35 Unexplained infertility TTC #1 since 2015 11/2015 - BFP! 12/2015 - MC IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal) FET #1 TBD Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!
Just back from my quickie trip to NC and omg @Hopeful_mom that sounds awful! I've always felt super sleepy and a little nausea after triggering, but not that scary. And on the first night of my first round of ivf I felt so cray I considered going to the emergency room but of course, didn't want to ruin my chances to have a baby so chose to sit there and think I was dying on the off chance I wasn't! Lol SO GLAD you're feeling better!!! @BusinessWife you are so lucky really to have friends to chat about it. I really don't have any, but I guess I'm also a bit like that.... I don't want to deal with anyone else's judgements or opinions. It's hard enough without trying to explain to people what's going on afm still waiting on AF ... just glad it didn't come Friday, but now I'm like: freakin start already!!!! Lol
@dragonette505. Quickie trip to NC sounds so nice! CVS Specialty told me to wait for the auth to come through for the Lupron before ordering ANY of my meds... and of course they are closed Monday. They will overnight it tho, so fx it's there on Tuesday and I can place my order for everything but the low dose hcg. Just knowing I have my meds here ready to go I think will help my nerves. I hope! Lol
@dragonette505. Quickie trip to NC sounds so nice! CVS Specialty told me to wait for the auth to come through for the Lupron before ordering ANY of my meds... and of course they are closed Monday. They will overnight it tho, so fx it's there on Tuesday and I can place my order for everything but the low dose hcg. Just knowing I have my meds here ready to go I think will help my nerves. I hope! Lol
I've had my durn drugs for a month now I think.... they are just sitting there staring at me!!! Lol but I'm always insanely anxious till I get them home and sort through them! Here's my haul I posted on my IF IG I just wanna get this going! Let us know when you get all your drugs! I'm so interested to hear about your experience with the low dose hcg
@hopeful_mom glad your leg is feeling better, you scared me with all that and I totally get not wanting to jeopardize ER by going to the ER! Hoping it goes well for you!
@dragonette505 hooray for the stash and hoping it will be soon for you. Ive never experienced anything like the waiting game that is IF!
AFM: AF came Saturday and I did my first follistim this morning (well, actually DH did it, I'm a chicken with needles so that's his "assignment"). Anyone else get in a really upbeat mood or have energy surge from the dexamethasone? I kinda like that one, not gonna lie...except that it also makes me ravenous, like never ending hunger!
@Momifbysea doing this quite a few times I didn't think I would have any type of reactions at all so I was certainly shocked by it. Even coming out of surgery was different this time...its amazing how each time it can change.
dragonette505 I'm laughing at your pic thinking how i wouldn't have space to on load all my drugs it's nutty. excited for you to get started...glad you made it through your trip so lets go AF!
AFM: Glad ER is over, I was more nauseous coming to this round as well. They say that you're body going through something can just change on a whim like that...so I think my body is ready for the next step - a transfer right Thrilled they got 7 golden eggs, yay! The Dr was like "i think we have 6 were looking at" and I'm like no, I think we have more like 6-8. SO he assured me he would get everything. One hurdle down now on to the next...I was happy that each follie had an egg this time unlike the last 2...you just never know!
History of TTC in spoiler box
TTC since 2014 Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30 7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10. IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
@Hopeful_mom This cycle is definitely your sign that you're ready to move on to the next step. So much has been different this time around. Watch you get quite a few that make it to blast. Fingers crossed!
Me:35 DH:37 Married 09/2013
*TW* TTC #2 since June 2016 *END TW*
Endometriosis
March 2017- IUI#1- Clomid - BFN April 2017 - IUI #2 - Clomid, Ovidrel - BFN May 2017 - IUI #3 - Clomid- cancelled cycle
@Dwmmwd Welcome back! I hope you had a good time with your parents. I'm also far away from my parents, and I can imagine how hard it must be for you to be dealing with your mom's health issues from a distance as well as your own at the same time. You're a very strong person. I'm looking forward to hearing your test results--FX for lots of good news! It's also very good and kind of you to organize that baby shower, even when it's painful for you. I helped with a friend's, and I thought it was actually good for my mental health in the end because it forced me to be happy for her and not wallow in self-pity, which is my usual inclination. Everyone's different, of course, but hopefully this ends up being, if not a good thing, at least something that goes by quickly.
@Funkykey, @Hopeful_mom, @Dwmmwd I'm with you on the friends coming and going and friendships changing. Two of our "couples" friends have moved out of or announced they're moving out of NYC, which is frustrating because obviously we like them and hate that we won't get to see them again or at least not as often. Now I'm at a place where most of my close friends don't have kids, which frightens me because I'm worried that when I finally do get KU, I won't have any parent friends. So I feel you all on the isolation, even if we're feeling isolated for different reasons. In general, the difficulty in making and keeping friends in adulthood is definitely my least favorite part of being an adult, especially in a city with a relatively transient population.
@BusinessWife I agree with you about the different people coming in and out of our lives for different reasons. I try to remember that when I'm sad about losing contact with people, or people moving away. That is a wonderful story about your BFF and how you have come back together for both the happy and sad times in your adult lives. Thank you for sharing your stories--it's so true that every person has a different role in our lives and especially in this IF journey.
ALSO, hooray! Your drugs are almost here!!
@Hopeful_mom That's so scary about the Novarel trigger! Knowing next to nothing about anything medical, I wonder if maybe you hit a nerve or something? I'm glad that you don't appear to have had a clot! Seven eggs is fantastic! Congratulations! Enjoy your well-deserved rest today.
@Momifbysea Congrats on starting the stims! Hope it all goes well and you get some great follies. I look forward to updates!
@hopeful_mom 7 eggs, wow! That is so awesome and I agree there are several signs with this cycle that maybe it will be your time to get to move on! I hear you on the part about being happy that those follies had eggs- after my last round where they got 1 egg out of my 8 follicles, that scares me a TON this time. Holding you up in my prayers as your reports come in.
@Hopeful_mom. Yay!!!! So happy for you to have the ER behind you, with 7 beautiful eggie-weggs!!! Congratulations!!!! <img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/de/4n9bchh5tajg.gif" alt="">
@Momifbysea. Congrats on starting stimms!!!! <img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/3v/s0aqlux0tq4s.gif" alt="" title="Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/3v/s0aqlux0tq4s.gif"> I am gonna be right behind ya with @dragonette505... ❤❤❤
My IVF meds are officially ordered!!! <img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/32/5ezjiqezpwax.gif" alt=""> Arriving tomorrow, no sig required. We have a great big porch, so should be just fine ;) I will also have tracking come to my phone actually, so if they arrive fairly early, I may be able to swing by on my lunch and move them inside the house, anyway. If not, no worries. <img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/oh/1s1kb5s48orr.gif" alt="">
@BusinessWife yay! They generally come in cold packs so they are safe to sit for a bit if needed (in a Styrofoam packing box on the inside). But I feel you... if you can hop and get it at least put in the house that's the best. I had my almost 800 bucks of HGH in my last box so I was on that box like white on rice I am feeling hella crampy (watch my stupid AF come in the middle of the night and I cant get in for monitoring till day 3
Re: Anyone doing IVF in July/August?
Been a little MIA since I was in Chicago, and then coming home, I'm starting work again, so it's been a bit of a rough transition. I have been stopping in to lurk and see how you all are doing.
@funkykey so sorry. Man how unfair? Our health care system is ridiculous and you shouldn't have to put something off because of cost. I hope these next few months fly by.
@megmac2010 and @bababatty fx for next week!
@megmac2010 sorry that you didn't have others to freeze. Hopefully this will work and it won't matter!
@hopeful_mom ooh, triggering soon. How exciting. Can't wait to hear how it goes. Hopefully those last ones will kick it into gear with the trigger shot.
@dragonette505 that sounds like a sweet set up. I used to be in a downstairs out of the way office and I bought a recliner chair off craigslist two years ago when I was pregnant, bc I got so tired, and when my office mate wasn't there on Fridays I used to take short naps. It was great. Now we're upstairs right next to offices and classrooms plus we have a third office mate, so not sure that would work anymore for me. A yoga room and relaxation room sounds awesome.
Paging @marioana99 How you holding up? I'm assuming no news is bad news, but maybe you're too excited to stop in and tell us your good news. Still have everything crossed for you.
To all our newbies, welcome!
AFM- not much to report. Still waiting for my test results. Hopefully either next Friday or the monday after. I think the pill is really messing with me though. I feel exhausted even though I've been sleeping plenty. Also feeling kind of down. I am also organizing a friend's baby shower. Which is probably causing me stress and triggering, but I don't feel it outright. I offered to do it because she didn't have anyone else doing it. We're not like great friends or anything, but we used to be in a book club and then we started doing monthly dinners with another friend. I feel for her because her friends are spread out across the country and family doesn't live nearby and I am kind of in a similar position and I could empathize. I just feel like the older we've gotten the less friends we have. Anyway, I'm sure it will be totally fine. I had a hard time with her being pregnant for a bit, as I did with all my friends, but I'm over it now. It still feels unfair, but hopefully it will finally be my turn soon. It has to be, right?
I do feel like after being on the pill for 18 years, when I got off it, I felt different. Lighter somehow. Now that I'm back on it I feel that heaviness again. I don't know, maybe it's in my head. I'm going on a work retreat to start the school year on Monday and Tuesday and I'm feeling a little panicky because I'm not driving which means I can't like get out if I need to. I haven't had a panic attack since last summer when my loss was fresh, but things like overnights bring back the anxiety for me. I'm sure I'll be fine. This is all coupled with DH, who has lots of anxiety, getting certified for Scuba, and he's having all kinds of stress about his open water dive this weekend, so vibe not so great over here. Which is really too bad because I've had such a great, relaxing summer. Sucky way to begin the year. Oh well. Alright, sorry for the novella. Off to bed.
BFP Nov 2015, PPROM Feb 2016
ER #1 May 2017, 15 retrieved, 10 fertilized, 3 day 5.
ER#2 July 2017, 22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, 6 day 5/6
9 embryos tested for pgs and pgd.
FET #1 9.29.17- 1 embryo-BFN
FET#2 12.19.17- I embryo-BFP 1/1/18! Happy New Year to me! EDD 9/6/18
Baby boy born 9.11.18- the love of my life!
a week after attending one of my best friends baby showers 2 yrs ago....
@BusinessWife I feel like when you've already been through so much, there's so much anxiety heading into an IVF. I'd be surprised if you weren't feeling tense. I feel like my mind has been bouncing around since my last AF. If you've been on the pill, hopefully your body won't totally flip out from it again. Maybe taking it between ivf and fet will be more like a break on your body than a burden.
@Momifbysea omg! Stress/anxiety can help?!? Laaaawd! I'm gonna have 10 babies!!! Maybe the adrenaline helps or something? I love to know the way the doc thinks it works..... just curious about the theory
All this talk about BCP I guess I should be glad I couldn't take it. @dragonette505 that just sounds awful and scary!! Only reason I wanted to take it was to help with me terrible cramps during AF, but I have terrible veracose veins and the dr was always against it for possible blood clots, yay me! It's tough growing up never having nice legs, they were already chunky so who was a kidding. I joke with OH it's directions for him
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr this is why I hate using the bump on my phone the rest of my msg deleted
whatever article says that stress can help @Momifbysea is fantastic not sure why I don't have a football team already
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
This is such crap 5x it wont save properly!!
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
whatever article says that stress can help @Momifbysea is fantastic not sure why I don't have a football team already . I did get my first bfp ever during a very hard time so I have to hope and pray it will happen again!! Have u asked ur dr about trying estrace instead of bcp? Since I was originally prepping for an FET I was on it for 2 weeks and it did suppress me I believe but that has its own side effects. It's very tough, ladies that have low amh on here suggested I should not do bcp afraid my follies won't wake back up (my ob since I was a kid said I couldn't take it anyway for possible blood clots) so I didn't want to chance it and my RE was fine with that!
AFM: I think my follies might be ready to go I'm just waiting to hear from my clinic. It's so crazy how stressful this process is, I worry at every appointment even though I kno there's nothing I can do but hope I see a rise in each follie. Then you pray there will be a beautiful mature normal egg ready to go!! The cycle that gave me the most eggs I did the worst on so I'm ok with not getting double digits cooky I kno. I think one of the 8 isn't growing enough so praying I can get a solid 7, keeping my expectations realistic I hope!!!
ive been using my computer so much lately, now I know why!!!!
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
AFM: I got the call and it's trigger time y'all!! I feel like its the world series and i'm being called to the plate...its hilarious. This is it game 7...even though its cycle 8
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
@Magallyta - I have waves of grumpiness and moodiness. I think it comes with the TTC and infertility territory. Don't let it ruin your vacation though!
Unexplained infertility
TTC #1 since 2015
11/2015 - BFP! 12/2015 - MC
IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal)
FET #1 TBD Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!
I'm not feeling so great after taking the trigger shot. Noveral 10,000 units. Could I really be having an allergic reaction to it all of a sudden. having this strange tightness in my left hand and its very tender in one area, feeling super bruised. Dr google says its a reaction. Anyone else experience this? I'm not one to run to hospitals at all. How concerned do I need to be??
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
BFP Nov 2015, PPROM Feb 2016
ER #1 May 2017, 15 retrieved, 10 fertilized, 3 day 5.
ER#2 July 2017, 22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, 6 day 5/6
9 embryos tested for pgs and pgd.
FET #1 9.29.17- 1 embryo-BFN
FET#2 12.19.17- I embryo-BFP 1/1/18! Happy New Year to me! EDD 9/6/18
Baby boy born 9.11.18- the love of my life!
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
Unexplained infertility
TTC #1 since 2015
11/2015 - BFP! 12/2015 - MC
IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal)
FET #1 TBD Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
I hate it though- I have a new boss (as of last week), and telling him I needed time off one morning for a consultation with a surgeon was NOT fun. But I wanted him to know, it's not something I chose to schedule; when you're dealing with medical issues, it's not like there's a lot of flexibility in picking a time. Like, I can go to the dentist after work - but the surgeon's not going to meet me at 7pm.
But I don't want to give my boss too much information either - because it's personal. It's not like I waltz around talking about the shape of my reproductive organs.
@megmac2010 - obviously, I don't know where @dragonette505 works, but I interviewed at one of the Big Four accounting firms years ago, at one of the fairly central offices, and they had lots of stuff like that - wellness rooms, etc. I think it's more common in some industries than others... You know, something to keep in mind, in case you are thinking of a career change.
@Bababatty - keeping FX for you!!! Exciting!
@Dwmmwd - Keeping FX for your test results. I hated - HATED - being on the pill, always have. It makes me feel depressed and obsessive, like a little bit paranoid. Even when I was on it suppressing, after 2 weeks I was panicking about minor stuff - I had to actually stop myself and breathe deeply. I think it just affects some people differently than others - for me, I've always noticed a huge difference.
Very kind of you to organize the shower, and it 100% will be your turn soon!! A few of my friends recently have moved away, and I hate it. Like, my 3 closest friends have all or are moving. Two of them because their husbands accepted foreign contracts, and one for her own temporary work placement. I know they'll be back, but I hear you on the as you get older, your friends spread and things change. I actually think IF has changed a lot of my friendships too - some of my other friends who have little kids, I don't see as much - they're so busy with their kids, and they do all kid stuff with the other moms, and because I'm not a mom, I'm not doing kid stuff, so I see them so much less... anyway, it's a little bit isolating.
@Hopeful_mom - I never use the app! It sucks! Excited for your retrieval and hoping this issue with the side effects of the trigger shot are resolved, and that they resolved smoothly and quickly.
Me:35 DH:37
Married 09/2013
*TW* TTC #2 since June 2016 *END TW*
Endometriosis
March 2017- IUI#1- Clomid - BFN
April 2017 - IUI #2 - Clomid, Ovidrel - BFN
May 2017 - IUI #3 - Clomid- cancelled cycle
July 2017- IVF #1-Microdose Lupron protocol, Gonal-F, Menopur, HCG trigger- 12 mature eggs, 9 fertilized, 4 frozen- 2 PGS normal!!
August 2017- FET #1
Crazy that I've taken this shot 5x already and all good, yet this time there was an issue. It definitely feels off but at least not as intense as last night and its only in my hand and arm and not my leg. Always gotta worry about something!
@Dwmmwd i wanted to add as well how lovely it is that you are being so selfless and kind for your friend!Its a true testament to the person you are! Hoping it will be your turn before you know it!!
funkykey i've struggled through the years with some friends (super close // maid of honor close) that have kids and our friendship has changed for sure. I didnt mind in the beginning to go to the kids parties and play dates but they were the ones that stopped inviting me since i didn't have kids and I guess assumed I rather not be bothered. Seems like when its your time you'll be ready to jump back in. For me I'm not upset anymore that i'm no longer close with them, I'm actually angry with them. I want to be a mother and I get family comes first BUT there is something to be said about still being a good friend. And I certainly find getting older that people no longer know how to do that. I'm laughing as I know this has come up before and in that time have written another 2 friends off. By the time my lil pnut comes I'll only have family to celebrate with. Sorry you're feeling isolated!
New boss, are you happy with the switch? I can't understand why you don't want to walk around the office talking about your reproductive organs, I always know thats my hot topic of conversation
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
One of the cruelest things about IF is the sheer length of time it takes. I have other friends who've gone through tough times, but at most the tough time seems to last like 2-3 months, maybe 6 months. It's easy to be patient and supportive with someone when they're going through a tough time that's resolved in 6 months. 2+ years, though? I know it can be tough for people to be supportive over that period of time, but it's not nearly as tough as it is to actively live it, day in and day out. Bah.
Anyway, I'm sorry that some of your friends turned out to be duds. It takes a lot of courage to keep going in that kind of environment.
Take my BFF for instance. We were like sisters growing up. Ages 2-12. Then she moved, I moved, adolescence changed things, and we drifted apart for a long while... even through college, we stayed in touch here and there, but we were on different journies. Then she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding... Then she was the MOH at mine... Then we both started trying at basically the same time. And we both needed IVF. So now, after all this time, we have come back together and been blessed to bond all over again as grown women theough our TTC struggles. And fx we will both get to journey into the future of mommyhood more or less together too!!!
Now another dear old friend I met in Uni. At a job actually at that time. She and her BF didn't have kids yet... I was still single. We were all three roommates. There were plenty of struggles through that time; they got married, had the kids... none of that was an issue, but our friendship was often strained for other reasons. Then I got married - YAY! - And when TTTC and IF hit, she just couldn't relate. Anything she said just pissed me the F off. Lol. So.... even still, now she is one of the few people who know we are doing IVF. And she wants to be supportive, but she just doesn't get where I'm coming from lots of times. Eventually when LOs are on the way, her kids will both be older, and I may or may not want to hear the BTDT baby advice from her. Bc so much of the time what she says just grates on me. But I am her kids', "Auntie." We have been through so much of life's ups and downs, I do hope once our kids start to come along, it may get easier again. We shall see, and it is what it is.
Another dear friend with no kids, come to find out at the bachelorette weekend, she still kind of wished she could have them. :'( Then she went through cancer, and beat it! But if the chances of her having kids before when she was around 40 ish I'm sure just flew right out the window with that. So while she can relate to the health issues aspect, and the medical struggle, I don't feel like she's the right person to go to with this IVF stuff, bc I'm sure there's a part of her that <i>wishes</i> she could be in my shoes, IF and all, but at least with a <i>shot</i> at having kids. I think she has entertained the idea of foster/adopt, so time will tell where her heart leads her, but it was a totally different dynamic when she and I were both just childless couples still. I do hope she can be someone I visit with and comes to the shower, and lunch dates with squish etc. Because I love her dearly, it I also know sometimes its just too hard. :/
Anyway, TL;DR Life and longterm friendships are both funny.
*edited typos+clarity
I'm sorry for your friend and hope other avenues can bring her to motherhood. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
Its funny you talk about baby advice I can't say I can give baby advice but I've had enough niece, nephews and babysitting under my belt I can hang with the best of them HAAAA!! I only wish I had kids earlier in life because I feel like I WORRY about everything and anything happening to them!
funkykey it sounds like you have some promising friendship and thats awesome! Sorry you're left stranded but at least you know they're returning. I think as time has gone on it makes me more thankful for the wonderful family I have and how important that is. And then the few friends I have that are worth while I value probably even more.
AFM: This numbing feeling in my left arm and leg was quite scary last night. This is the 6th time I'm taking this shot and I've never experienced an issue prior. The dr on call said I should go to the hospital and that was the last thing I wanted to do. He was concerned i could have a blood clot, I took a baby aspirin in hopes that wasn't the case. Luckily this morning my leg was feeling better but my arm was still tender. Since I'm on the mend the dr wasn't too concerned. Can't get over the reaction my hand still feels like its sleeping ugh!!! They said it was smart that I took the baby aspirin as having the leg pain was concerning. I think if that persisted I would've went to the hospital.
Glad i got the call and i'm ready for ER tomorrow. Lets hope my hand is feeling back to normal by then...its so weird!!
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
Unexplained infertility
TTC #1 since 2015
11/2015 - BFP! 12/2015 - MC
IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal)
FET #1 TBD Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!
SO GLAD you're feeling better!!!
@BusinessWife you are so lucky really to have friends to chat about it. I really don't have any, but I guess I'm also a bit like that.... I don't want to deal with anyone else's judgements or opinions. It's hard enough without trying to explain to people what's going on
afm still waiting on AF ... just glad it didn't come Friday, but now I'm like: freakin start already!!!! Lol
Here's my haul I posted on my IF IG
I just wanna get this going! Let us know when you get all your drugs! I'm so interested to hear about your experience with the low dose hcg
@dragonette505 hooray for the stash and hoping it will be soon for you. Ive never experienced anything like the waiting game that is IF!
AFM: AF came Saturday and I did my first follistim this morning (well, actually DH did it, I'm a chicken with needles so that's his "assignment"). Anyone else get in a really upbeat mood or have energy surge from the dexamethasone? I kinda like that one, not gonna lie...except that it also makes me ravenous, like never ending hunger!
@Hopeful_mom Thinking of you today! Fingers crossed all goes well!
@Hopeful_Mom Can't wait to hear your update.
@Momifbysea I didn't take dexa so I didn't get excited from that but I definitely got energy from finally starting the injections. Yay for you!
Me:35 DH:37
Married 09/2013
*TW* TTC #2 since June 2016 *END TW*
Endometriosis
March 2017- IUI#1- Clomid - BFN
April 2017 - IUI #2 - Clomid, Ovidrel - BFN
May 2017 - IUI #3 - Clomid- cancelled cycle
July 2017- IVF #1-Microdose Lupron protocol, Gonal-F, Menopur, HCG trigger- 12 mature eggs, 9 fertilized, 4 frozen- 2 PGS normal!!
August 2017- FET #1
dragonette505 I'm laughing at your pic thinking how i wouldn't have space to on load all my drugs it's nutty. excited for you to get started...glad you made it through your trip so lets go AF!
AFM: Glad ER is over, I was more nauseous coming to this round as well. They say that you're body going through something can just change on a whim like that...so I think my body is ready for the next step - a transfer right
Thrilled they got 7 golden eggs, yay! The Dr was like "i think we have 6 were looking at" and I'm like no, I think we have more like 6-8. SO he assured me he would get everything. One hurdle down now on to the next...I was happy that each follie had an egg this time unlike the last 2...you just never know!
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
Me:35 DH:37
Married 09/2013
*TW* TTC #2 since June 2016 *END TW*
Endometriosis
March 2017- IUI#1- Clomid - BFN
April 2017 - IUI #2 - Clomid, Ovidrel - BFN
May 2017 - IUI #3 - Clomid- cancelled cycle
July 2017- IVF #1-Microdose Lupron protocol, Gonal-F, Menopur, HCG trigger- 12 mature eggs, 9 fertilized, 4 frozen- 2 PGS normal!!
August 2017- FET #1
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/de/4n9bchh5tajg.gif" alt="">
@Momifbysea. Congrats on starting stimms!!!!
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/3v/s0aqlux0tq4s.gif" alt="" title="Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/3v/s0aqlux0tq4s.gif">
I am gonna be right behind ya with @dragonette505... ❤❤❤
My IVF meds are officially ordered!!!
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/32/5ezjiqezpwax.gif" alt="">
Arriving tomorrow, no sig required. We have a great big porch, so should be just fine ;) I will also have tracking come to my phone actually, so if they arrive fairly early, I may be able to swing by on my lunch and move them inside the house, anyway. If not, no worries.
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/oh/1s1kb5s48orr.gif" alt="">
I am feeling hella crampy (watch my stupid AF come in the middle of the night and I cant get in for monitoring till day 3