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August 2017 Moms
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The In-Laws/Family Vent Thread

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Re: The In-Laws/Family Vent Thread

  • knottie0d8cc4d43bacc09fknottie0d8cc4d43bacc09f member
    @maebee87 I agree with @JWatt5 that literally sounds like a made-up story it's so bad (not saying you made it up, just that it's that ridiculous). I give you serious props for even considering letting her into your life after she offered you $$ to leave DH at the alter. Who would do that to their son?!

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  • maebee87maebee87 member
    @Jwatt5 I wish they would apologize, but I'm not holding my breath we have been having issues going on 8 years now.
    @secicc12 I could write a book about all the drama over the years- and it's embarrassing but it is true.

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  • AdvoCyndi30AdvoCyndi30 member
    @maybee87 Jeez!!! That's some serious crap. I'm so sorry. :-( You're being generous by visiting three times a year.
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  • SouthernMama15SouthernMama15 member
    @maebee87 that is beyond the realm of unacceptable. I don't even have words. I wouldn't see them ever.
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  • HappyToBeHereHappyToBeHere member
    I agree with PPs, @maebee87, I'd have the hardest time moving past issues like that. Kudos to you for sticking it out.
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  • jaclynnn89jaclynnn89 member
    edited March 2017
    Today is DD's first birthday. Such a huge day and I wanted everything perfect even though we're only celebrating with family. I told my MIL 3 separate times what we were planning to do, and that I couldn't wait to make her first birthday cake. Last night she sent my SO a text saying why don't we just go to her house instead and she'll order pizzas and make a cake for her. NO. NO NO NO. He shut it down right away but I am literally shocked by the audacity of her even suggesting it. He was in the car with me one of the times I told her so thankfully he, without any suggestion from me, very clearly reminded her that I had TOLD her our plans and that we are going to do what we want for our daughters 1st birthday.

    This is far from the first time she has overstepped too, we moved a month after she was born so it took us a little while to get a nursery established for her. MIL went out and bought a crib, bedding, rocking chair, a room decor for HER house, all before we had ANYTHING. She surprised us with it when we went for dinner... had bought the bedding I was planning on getting but couldn't yet afford in a different color. I was visibly upset. DD doesn't live there and rarely stays the night, and we hadn't even had a chance to buy a proper crib for or house yet.
    She also tried to feed her solids for the first time when she watched DD while we were at an engagement party but my BIL stopped her thank for. I cannot for the life of me understand why she thinks it's okay to even try to take away those moments from us. She's our first child, we, like everyone else, should get to experience things with our own daughter as her parents before anyone else. UGGGGHHHHH!!!!
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  • knottie0d8cc4d43bacc09fknottie0d8cc4d43bacc09f member
    @jaclyngoldman Oh god... that sounds awful. And actually kind of creepy that she had a whole nursery set up, knowing that your DD wouldn't be staying there much. I'd say she's just over-excited, but then things like trying to feed DD solid foods for the first time without you just seems like she is overstepping/trying to get all the "firsts" for herself! 

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  • SouthernMama15SouthernMama15 member
     Nothing like having your whiny toddler almost asleep when your FIL calls and now he's wound up. Did he even leave a message? No. And I'm not calling back 
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  • FeliciosityFeliciosity member
    We just had our little gender reveal party for a small group of family and friends. It went very well over all. But my MIL... oh my gosh. She has been saying she wants it to be a girl, patting my belly saying "hows my baby girl doing" and such. Well, at the party she suddenly decides she thinks it's a boy. After the reveal, she starts going around telling everyone that she "knew" it was a boy because I didn't squeal... which I guess to her means I wasn't excited? So now I have friends and family coming to me and being encouraging as though I were disappointed that my baby is a boy. Kind of embarrassing and annoying to have to explain that I am actually excited it's a boy and that I didn't have a preference to begin with... and to be met with "that's the spirit" pats on the back.

    That and MIL hates my 'knights and dragons' idea for my nursery (I've always loved fairy tales), and belittles it whenever she overhears me telling someone about it.

    This all used to make me mad, but now it just makes me sad that she can't seem to go along with me on anything regarding the baby. Makes me wonder how she is going to be when he is born.
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  • dma0389dma0389 member
    edited April 2017
    SO I posted a few weeks back about my upcoming trip to SoCal and how I know how it would go with my in-laws. Well I came back this week...FiL is always awesome and the best Dad one can ask for (lol after my Daddy), so nothing new there. BUT as noted, my MiL was something else:
    • She told me I exercise too much - I went to Pure Barre 4x out of the 9.5 days we were in SoCal (San Diego, Anaheim, LA). Um that's up to me and ps. when I worked out with my 1st pregnancy it kept me in shape and helped me push my son out in less than 45 minutes! So let me be. My mother even supports my healthy lifestyle bec she is also a workout nut even at the age of 58.
    • She asked me and hubby out of nowhere why don't like the sitting President (45) while watching tv on the couch. I didn't say anything and let hubby enumerate our long laundry list.
    • Politics & Money were talked about often. Subjects that should be avoided with family. Like what does it matter how much is in MY 401K? Just know I've been saving for retirement since my 1st big girl career at the age of 23!
    • Couldn't watch our 2 yo son bec she had errands to do for the family gathering. He's there 1-2x a year, like really? And to top it, they only watched him without us 1.5 days out of the 9.5 days we were there, whereas my parents watch our son 5x a week while we are at work!
    • At Disneyland my 2 yo son wanted to meet Mickey Mouse but she complained the line was long and was hungry. Who is the 2 yo here? 
    • The preggo (me) wanted a snack while at Disneyland and I saw POPCORN, plus 2 yo son loves popcorn. I buy the smaller cheaper option bec the souvenir bucket was not necessary. She went on and on how she wanted the pink lid souvenir popcorn bucket so we had to search how many popcorn carts for the PINK LID popcorn plastic container. Once again - who is the 2 yo and the preggo???
    • This is random BUT she wanted to make her new gmail password to MY DOG's name. Not my husband's dog, but my family dog. LOL I thought that was funny. Not a vent just FUNNY.
    I'm glad to be home and we did visit. I do love them but sometimes I'm just not used to the quirks. Reading this makes me laugh now.

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  • ColoradoHikerColoradoHiker member
    edited April 2017
    My mom wanted to be in the delivery room with me when I was pregnant with DS.  She kept asking, no matter how many times I told her absolutely not, it was just DH and I.  Thankfully, I ended up not leaving for the hospital until 10pm, and had DS close to midnight.  There wasn't enough time to even tell anyone until after DS was born, and so everyone was surprised when they got a midnight call.

    As far as people in the delivery room, you can tell the nurses that you don't want visitors.  They can be in the waiting room, but they won't allow them in unless you say so.  This goes for recovery as well.  If someone chooses to wait for hours on end there, that's their choice and you shouldn't let it bother you one bit.  Take as much time as you want with your new family once the baby is born, and don't ever feel guilty for it.
    DS1: Born 11.18.15
    DS2: EDD- 09.08.17

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  • knottiee689565f63838b35knottiee689565f63838b35 member
    usually my mom and I have a good relationship but now that I "really look pregnant" she's just going to start telling me what to do. Like how even though DH and I don't want people at the hospital when I go into labor, she's going to come to town because she knows DH will need a break from and someone needs to care for the dogs. I'm also not allowed to have my dogs at MY house until I'm used to the baby. Yeah, 4 dogs is crazy, but they are well behaved and it will be august so they are fine staying in the garage for a while. I also got a new job at an orthodontist office and god forbid I do that - "I should have stuck with engineering job that I hated just for the benefits." Then she told me it's the worse job to get because of the gas,when orthodontists don't use it and I'm not even working chair side yet. She also told since I will be doing X-rays I should just stop working. Um I'm still in training, I am not allowed to take X-rays, I am not even in the room after I get patients set up for them. Also, work knows I'm pregnant! Gah!
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  • SouthernMama15SouthernMama15 member
    I went to the hospital Monday night due to some intense cramping and lower back pain. MIL took care of DS and he stayed with DH's aunt yesterday so I could rest. She commented that he didn't nap well. Well, now I know why. He just told me he wanted tea. I asked him where he'd had tea and he said Leigh Ann's  house. She's done this before, right before he turned one. We told her not to do it. Who in their right mind gives a toddler sweet tea loaded with sugar and caffeine?
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  • PinkPrincessPiperPinkPrincessPiper member
    @SouthernMama15 I hope you're feeling better. I'd be pissed about the sweet tea. My MIL tried giving my oldest Coke when he was a baby-like in his bottle. Hell no. 
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  • SouthernMama15SouthernMama15 member
    @PinkPrincessPiper I am feeling better, thank you. I hate dealing with crap like that. It's hard, because I get free help from time to time, but then it's awkward when they do stuff like that. It's not the first time. 
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  • wendy+shaunwendy+shaun member
    PinkPrincessPiper said:
    Whenever I talk about my in-laws, I'm referring to my MIL & BIL. My husband's father left his mom while he was still in the womb, and to this day I've never met the man (the entire 18 years we've been together). His mom has been married & divorced FOUR times since. Anywho, MIL & BIL are co-dependent drug addicts who have been in & out of jail the last 15 years. They've been off hard drugs (crack) for about 3 years now, but they still haven't gotten back on track. 

    For example, their roommates recently kicked them out (I don't know why, and I don't care), and they are giving my husband guilt trips trying to let them move in with us. Before you think I'm cold bitch, they've moved in with us 3 times before, and it's always a disaster. They mooch, steal, make a mess -- to this day half of my attic is filled with their crap. It's NOT happening again. Thankfully DH made it clear to them that we are about to be a family of 6 in a 3BR house as is. Sorry, not sorry. 

    TL;DR: My in-laws as the worst & I really envy people with "normal" ILs. Sigh. 
    Hmmmm, this explains a lot...........
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  • AdvoCyndi30AdvoCyndi30 member
    @wendy+shaun And again...who are you?!
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  • wendy+shaunwendy+shaun member
    PinkPrincessPiper said:
    @wendy+shaun You're just making yourself look bad here, lady. Digging up an old post & throwing at jab at my in-laws is pretty low. But stay classy. ;) 
    this is fun.
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