Infertility

IVF with donor eggs

Hi.  I haven't participated on this board in a couple of months but I was hoping someone might be able to tell me if there are conversations or threads somewhere regarding donor eggs.  The 'third party page is very quiet.  

We have done three ER's without producing any transferable embryos so using donor eggs will likely be part of the conversation soon.  Thanks.  
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP! 

Take a look at my blog


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Re: IVF with donor eggs

  • @fivetimesnoluck sorry to highjack! Just wanted to drop in and say CONGRATS!! That is amazing! So happy for you!
    **TW**
    Me: 31, DH:33
    TTC since October 2015: MFI
    Summer 2016: 3 IUI's: BFN
    October 2016: Switched RE's and began IVF cycle 
    December 2016: Retrieved 13 eggs, 12 mature, 9 fertilized with ICSI. 5 day ET of 2 blasts with 4 frosites left. BFP!!!! EDD: 8/30/2017 
    August 25, 2017: It's a Girl!!
    April 12, 2019: FET, BFP!!! Baby BOY EDD: 12/29/2019
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  • @fivetimesnoluck Thank you for sharing and congratulations!  The more I look into the possibility the better I feel about it but its a whole new ballgame and I have so much to learn meanwhile I don't know if we are giving up too fast on my eggs. I will start to lurk the babycenter board.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • To those of you who are starting the process: how did you decide to do fresh vs frozen.  My clinic seems to focus on frozen which would be easier and less expensive but then we would only get a lot of 6 or 7 eggs and hope they fertilize.  

    How did you decide to stop trying with your OE?  Part of me is ready to move on to DE but then I feel like I'm giving up too fast.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @laurad75- Making the choice to move on to DE is probably the hardest decision I have had to make. All the details are in my siggy, but even after 1 cancelled IVF and 2 failed IVFs (with none to freeze), I was planning to try again 1 more time. My RE was fine with either doing 1 more round or donor. It was a hard choice because I'm young (29), so I should have decent eggs, but it really seems to be an egg quality issue. She thinks i probably have some normal eggs, but wasn't sure how many rounds it would take to find one. After 3 months of cysts and delays for trying to start our 4th round, I couldn't take the limbo any more. It was like my body was telling me it was done. So me and my husband had a heart to heart and decided it was time to move on. I believe if I meant to have a genetic child, then we still will naturally, but I can't keep living my life like I have been the last year. I still have days where I wonder if I should have kept trying, since I only did 2 ER and got 2 day 5 early blasts the second round... but most days I am more excited at the odds of having success with donor (92% at my clinic with fresh).

    My RE (Dr. Rodgers from the Beat Infertility podcasts), definitely recommended fresh since it will give us the option of potentially 2 or more children. It is more expensive and a longer process, and its not guaranteed to give us multiple children, but the odds are better. So for us, we didn't really consider frozen and will be using our clinic's in house donors (assuming one of our 3 choices will work out). We are currently waiting for them to finish their current cycles (sometime between end of June- August), and I'm hoping we can get to transfer by Aug/Sept. Trying to be patient.. but its a long process ahead.
    History in Spoiler

    Age: 32 (same with DH). Together since 2006, Married June 2013 and TTC since August 2015
    Diagnosis: Mild Endo, DOR (AMH of 1.5), Poor Quality Eggs/embryos, Displaced Window of Implantation (ERA Post Receptive)
    March-May 2016: 1 TI and 2 IUIs- BFN 
    June 2016- Laproscopy- found/removed mild endo and confirmed only 1 normal healthy ovary.
    August 2016- IVF #1 with Antagonist Protocol- Cancelled (2 lead follies), converted to IUI- BFN
    Oct-Nov 2016- IVF #2 with Estrogen Priming Micro Lupron Protocol, 2 eggs retrieved, day 3 transfer of 1- BFN
    January 2017- New RE, IVF#3 with Estrogen Priming Antagonist Protocol, 12 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, 2 day 5 early blasts transferred (none to freeze :(), BFN
    May 2017- Sept 2017- Starting Donor Egg process! Waiting for donor to be available... and then she is pregnant at baseline :(
    Oct 2017- Donor #2: 25R, 22M,18F, 12 blasts frozen! Fresh transfer cancelled due to thin lining with fluid :(
    Nov 2017- Hysterscopy to remove polyp
    Dec 2017- DE FET #1 on 12/8 on 2 perfect blasts- BFN and devastated
    Jan-Mar 2018- ERA #1- Post receptive by 24 hours, ERA #2 RECEPTIVE with 4 days of Progesterone
    Apr 2018- DE FET cancelled for lining issues :(
    Jun 2018- DE FET #2 of two 1AA blasts- first BFP ever! Beta 10dp5dt- 378, Beta 14dp5dt- 2840, Beta 16dp5dt- 4035, beta 18dp5dt- 10916. Due on 2/20 with one baby after a vanishing twin
    Baby Born born early @ 33.5 weeks due to Pre-e
    Back for # 2!
  • mandasdmandasd member
    My situation is unique because fresh cost the same as frozen since I'm using the military grant - the grant doesn't apply to the Egg cohort so I was going to have to pay full price for frozen and then reduced fees for embryology and transfer. I also would like more than one child and I was nervous only getting 6 frozen eggs may only allow us one child. Since the cost is the same, we prefer fresh cycle but that has its own host of issues since we need a Tricare eligible donor that has access to the military base. Slim pickings! We've been patiently waiting almost 3 months to find a match. 

    The decision to move to DE was easy for me. I committed to two IVF cycles and if they didn't work I would move on. 1st cycle was cancelled because of dominant follicle. 2nd cycle was delayed 4 weeks because of cyst and dominant follicle but we finally made it to stim with 12 equal follies at baseline and then 6-8 growing during stims. At egg retrieval, they weren't able to collect any eggs so I was out and done with my own eggs. The only struggles I have now is finding a match. But I'm glad I didn't try again with my own eggs. It's just a waste of time! 
    Me: 37 / Hubs: 42
    TTC: April 2013
    DOR: AMH .3 - 1.31 (it varies); FSH: 5.1
    Clinic NMCSD
    IUI #1 July/Aug 2016
    IVF #1 Sep/Oct Microdose Lupron Protocol - IVF cancelled only 1 follicle
    IVF #2 Feb/Mar Antagonist protocol w/estrogen priming - 0 eggs retrieved (empty follicle syndrome) 
    Donor Egg Cycle as soon as we find a match
  • mandasdmandasd member
    @JamieH2000 I'm a little embarrassed to admit but my husband and I have actually talked very little about DE. He wanted to know what the doctor and I discussed the day after my "no egg retrieval" which was to use donor eggs. And we talked again when I told him I made a spreadsheet of our options including the fresh and frozen agency that works with our clinic - he asked me to send him the spreadsheet and then has not said much more about it. I asked if he checked the links and said no. He's been saying he doesn't want to talk about it - he's not ready to discuss it but he knows and understands that I'm moving forward. He agreed to go to the psychologist and he knows we have a donor match. In anticipation of our appointment tomorrow he said he will be ready to discuss it all at the appointment. It's been 11 weeks so I cutely said, "babe, it's been 11 weeks, it's time for you to discuss this with me." And he said "I'm going to the appointment so I guess that tells you I'm ready to talk about it...but not until Saturday!" So, there we have it! He knows if he doesn't agree to this than it's another discussion we're having so I'm sure if he didn't want to move forward we would have already had THAT talk! Men, I just don't get them sometimes! 
    Me: 37 / Hubs: 42
    TTC: April 2013
    DOR: AMH .3 - 1.31 (it varies); FSH: 5.1
    Clinic NMCSD
    IUI #1 July/Aug 2016
    IVF #1 Sep/Oct Microdose Lupron Protocol - IVF cancelled only 1 follicle
    IVF #2 Feb/Mar Antagonist protocol w/estrogen priming - 0 eggs retrieved (empty follicle syndrome) 
    Donor Egg Cycle as soon as we find a match
  • @mandasand- no judgement here!! This is one of the hardest things a couple can go through. So o get it. I'm sure he is coming around. It's good he's willing to go and maybe it will help to have the coversation with a professional third party. That is the point of the meeting. I just hope there aren't any surprises about his opinions. Maybe he will decide he wants to talk with you before it still.. hoping it goes smoothly and you can keep on moving forward! My husbands biggest unhappiness about this all is the cost as he would be happy never having a children. But now that he's seen me at some really dark days he know how important this is to me, and just ready for us to success and stop this tortuous journey and be happy again.
    History in Spoiler

    Age: 32 (same with DH). Together since 2006, Married June 2013 and TTC since August 2015
    Diagnosis: Mild Endo, DOR (AMH of 1.5), Poor Quality Eggs/embryos, Displaced Window of Implantation (ERA Post Receptive)
    March-May 2016: 1 TI and 2 IUIs- BFN 
    June 2016- Laproscopy- found/removed mild endo and confirmed only 1 normal healthy ovary.
    August 2016- IVF #1 with Antagonist Protocol- Cancelled (2 lead follies), converted to IUI- BFN
    Oct-Nov 2016- IVF #2 with Estrogen Priming Micro Lupron Protocol, 2 eggs retrieved, day 3 transfer of 1- BFN
    January 2017- New RE, IVF#3 with Estrogen Priming Antagonist Protocol, 12 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, 2 day 5 early blasts transferred (none to freeze :(), BFN
    May 2017- Sept 2017- Starting Donor Egg process! Waiting for donor to be available... and then she is pregnant at baseline :(
    Oct 2017- Donor #2: 25R, 22M,18F, 12 blasts frozen! Fresh transfer cancelled due to thin lining with fluid :(
    Nov 2017- Hysterscopy to remove polyp
    Dec 2017- DE FET #1 on 12/8 on 2 perfect blasts- BFN and devastated
    Jan-Mar 2018- ERA #1- Post receptive by 24 hours, ERA #2 RECEPTIVE with 4 days of Progesterone
    Apr 2018- DE FET cancelled for lining issues :(
    Jun 2018- DE FET #2 of two 1AA blasts- first BFP ever! Beta 10dp5dt- 378, Beta 14dp5dt- 2840, Beta 16dp5dt- 4035, beta 18dp5dt- 10916. Due on 2/20 with one baby after a vanishing twin
    Baby Born born early @ 33.5 weeks due to Pre-e
    Back for # 2!
  • @mandasand hey, just wanted to say, we are not in a DE situation but my H is the exact same way about discussing treatment.  He has his MESA/TESE scheduled late July and I'm sure it'll be me going, hey are you okay with everything? You wanna talk about anything before your procedure?  And he will be like, "No, what's there to talk about?  I said I would go do it and I will!" Ughh.  Okay dear.  At least we try ;)
  • @mandasand @BusinessWife  It's so hard to encourage the conversation without being pushy.  I understand that men don't think about babies the same way we do but sometimes I wonder if my H is just going along with this because he knows its important to me.  He thinks its enough to be supportive but this isn't 'my thing' its OUR thing.  

    @BusinessWife I know you have struggled with your H making it a priority and you have the patience of a Saint for sure.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • Ugh @20T I'm so sorry. Of course you are welcome to join the convo while you figure things out.  I'm in a similar boat. I think we will try one more round with my eggs but after that I imagine it will be time to move on. It's so hard. Are you okay?
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @20T I'm glad you found this thread, but oh my God.  I am just so devastated for you right now. Just such a shock.  We're here for you... ❤❤❤
  • @20t- we have been on this ride so long together and I'm so sad to see your update. Feel free to PM me any time. Really hoping your RE has some good advice on the 19th. It's such a hard decision but I must say I am excited for the the chance to be successful with DE. Thinking of you!
    History in Spoiler

    Age: 32 (same with DH). Together since 2006, Married June 2013 and TTC since August 2015
    Diagnosis: Mild Endo, DOR (AMH of 1.5), Poor Quality Eggs/embryos, Displaced Window of Implantation (ERA Post Receptive)
    March-May 2016: 1 TI and 2 IUIs- BFN 
    June 2016- Laproscopy- found/removed mild endo and confirmed only 1 normal healthy ovary.
    August 2016- IVF #1 with Antagonist Protocol- Cancelled (2 lead follies), converted to IUI- BFN
    Oct-Nov 2016- IVF #2 with Estrogen Priming Micro Lupron Protocol, 2 eggs retrieved, day 3 transfer of 1- BFN
    January 2017- New RE, IVF#3 with Estrogen Priming Antagonist Protocol, 12 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, 2 day 5 early blasts transferred (none to freeze :(), BFN
    May 2017- Sept 2017- Starting Donor Egg process! Waiting for donor to be available... and then she is pregnant at baseline :(
    Oct 2017- Donor #2: 25R, 22M,18F, 12 blasts frozen! Fresh transfer cancelled due to thin lining with fluid :(
    Nov 2017- Hysterscopy to remove polyp
    Dec 2017- DE FET #1 on 12/8 on 2 perfect blasts- BFN and devastated
    Jan-Mar 2018- ERA #1- Post receptive by 24 hours, ERA #2 RECEPTIVE with 4 days of Progesterone
    Apr 2018- DE FET cancelled for lining issues :(
    Jun 2018- DE FET #2 of two 1AA blasts- first BFP ever! Beta 10dp5dt- 378, Beta 14dp5dt- 2840, Beta 16dp5dt- 4035, beta 18dp5dt- 10916. Due on 2/20 with one baby after a vanishing twin
    Baby Born born early @ 33.5 weeks due to Pre-e
    Back for # 2!
  • @20T. Oh so glad you're feeling a bit better. This stuff can be so hard - so much riding on it, so many emotions.... I kwym about only having one transfer so far.  I almost cant even believe it. But hopefully you're feeling another degree better about everything this morning, and another step better after TOMORROW'S appt!!!  That is so amazing they could fit you in right away! ❤
  • @laurad75 I am excited for you to move ahead. I don't know if it's going to hit me at some point down the road, but for me, I really have not had a significant sadness about moving forward with this decision. I feel grateful for the opportunity to carry our child and for the advancements in science that made this all possible. And I have no doubts about how strongly I will bond with any baby that comes into our family.

    I guess my point is, everyone processes this path differently. For me, having hope and more confidence than ever before that this is going to help us achieve our take-home baby is worth any trade off.

    If I come across any more resources or links to share, I will be sure to post them! Keep us posted on your progress. Wishing you all the best!

    Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013

    2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages

    TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016

    2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN

    Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017

    May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714

    EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL!  <3 E. L. A. born 12/7/2017








  • @fivetimesnoluck That is exactly how I feel!  Thank you!
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @laurad75 there is a Parents Via Egg Donation Forum- used to be free but now there is a charge.I found working with a counselor familiar with infertility and third party reproduction super helpful.  Hope you can get started soon!
    ******TW*****
    Me 39 DH44
    Married 8/2/14
    TTC 9/14
    Dx: PCOS, blocked L fallopian tube, suspect poor egg quality
    MFI (low #, poor morphology)
    IVF #1 9/15 Failed
    IVF #2 12/15 Failed
    1st DE FET  5/16-BFN :(
    2nd DE FET 7/18-BFP :)
    8/17 Baby HR 140/min EDD 4/6/17
  • @2legsbaby- I thought about joining that site but  wasn't sure it was worth the money. Did you use it when it was free?

    @laurad75- glad you are feeling excited about moving forward!! We are trying naturally too until we can retain a donor and there is nothing like a few months of natural failures (hopefully not of course!) to remind me why we are pursuing the path we are. I still get my hopes up each month that this will be our miracle since besides lower amh, there really isn't anything wrong except probably poor quality. I'll look for donor resources and share any I find. It will be good to have some others on here to share the experience with!!

    History in Spoiler

    Age: 32 (same with DH). Together since 2006, Married June 2013 and TTC since August 2015
    Diagnosis: Mild Endo, DOR (AMH of 1.5), Poor Quality Eggs/embryos, Displaced Window of Implantation (ERA Post Receptive)
    March-May 2016: 1 TI and 2 IUIs- BFN 
    June 2016- Laproscopy- found/removed mild endo and confirmed only 1 normal healthy ovary.
    August 2016- IVF #1 with Antagonist Protocol- Cancelled (2 lead follies), converted to IUI- BFN
    Oct-Nov 2016- IVF #2 with Estrogen Priming Micro Lupron Protocol, 2 eggs retrieved, day 3 transfer of 1- BFN
    January 2017- New RE, IVF#3 with Estrogen Priming Antagonist Protocol, 12 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, 2 day 5 early blasts transferred (none to freeze :(), BFN
    May 2017- Sept 2017- Starting Donor Egg process! Waiting for donor to be available... and then she is pregnant at baseline :(
    Oct 2017- Donor #2: 25R, 22M,18F, 12 blasts frozen! Fresh transfer cancelled due to thin lining with fluid :(
    Nov 2017- Hysterscopy to remove polyp
    Dec 2017- DE FET #1 on 12/8 on 2 perfect blasts- BFN and devastated
    Jan-Mar 2018- ERA #1- Post receptive by 24 hours, ERA #2 RECEPTIVE with 4 days of Progesterone
    Apr 2018- DE FET cancelled for lining issues :(
    Jun 2018- DE FET #2 of two 1AA blasts- first BFP ever! Beta 10dp5dt- 378, Beta 14dp5dt- 2840, Beta 16dp5dt- 4035, beta 18dp5dt- 10916. Due on 2/20 with one baby after a vanishing twin
    Baby Born born early @ 33.5 weeks due to Pre-e
    Back for # 2!
  • @laurad75. So glad to hear you're starting to have a plan to move forward that you can feel good about ❤

    @20T how was your wtf apt?? (((Hugs)))
  • @JamieH2000 I did use it when it was free and when I was first struggling with the decision to use donor eggs, there were a lot of members and different boards (including some for husbands!). I saw on their site now that you can use for 48h and if unhappy get your money back... not sure how many members now that there is a fee, but might be worth checking out! 
    ******TW*****
    Me 39 DH44
    Married 8/2/14
    TTC 9/14
    Dx: PCOS, blocked L fallopian tube, suspect poor egg quality
    MFI (low #, poor morphology)
    IVF #1 9/15 Failed
    IVF #2 12/15 Failed
    1st DE FET  5/16-BFN :(
    2nd DE FET 7/18-BFP :)
    8/17 Baby HR 140/min EDD 4/6/17
  • For those who pursued DE IVF how did you choose an agency?  I have been researching agencies and focusing on those that have a good amount of local donors to avoid travel fees if we can.  The agency that has the most options with the highest quality donors is NAFG but their donor fees are 10,000 - 15,000 which is way above all other agencies.  I was curious if anyone had insight or thoughts on this part of the process.  

    I'm also desperate to keep this thread alive. 



    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • 20T20T member
    Hi @laurad7 (and everyone!), I'm still here and want to keep this thread going too!
    Image result for waving gif

    If we go the DE route, we are looking at frozen eggs for a variety of reasons. Our RE and Embryologist said they've worked with Fairfax Egg Bank in the past and have had good results, but I can't remember if you wanted to use fresh or frozen. I like the frozen route because it seems more anonymous and can be done when I'm ready as opposed to having to sync cycles, etc. But I haven't found a donor on there that I would be comfortable with yet. 

    I'm still really struggling with this decision and it doesn't help that my RE thinks we should do one more round with my OE because of my age (I'm 33). He said that if he'd have the results I've had with someone over 36, he'd recommend going directly to DE but that he was struggling because of my age. Thanks buddy....that non-answer is not helpful! I can't really wrap my head around not having my own biological child. I know it sounds really selfish, but I always imagined looking at my baby and seeing some piece of me or my family looking back at me. I don't really know how to give that up. My H just doesn't seem to understand that and keeps saying but it'll be your baby because you'll carry it and give birth to it. I found this article: https://blog.pved.org/2009/07/20/women-who-give-birth-to-donor-egg-babies-are-the-biological-moms/ but would like to see more of the research before believing it (although I really want to). 

    We've decided to take some time off (just a few months)for now, to heal and figure things out. This TTC/IF journey has taken over the last 2 years of our lives and I can't even remember what I like to do for fun. I feel like that'll be easier said then done though and I'm eager to maintain this thread to work all of these issues out with you all! 
  • @20T I hear you loud and clear.  If one of the doctors gave me any hope that we could still succeed with my own eggs I'm sure we would have kept going.  Obviously it was very hard to hear that the chance of conceiving was very slim but it made the decision to go DE much easier.  I have read a bunch of those articles and need to believe that its true - both doctors that I saw had so many positive things to say about DE including the studies on imprinting and epigenetics (those may be the same thing).  

    In regards to Frozen vs Fresh - I am waiting to hear back from our financial coordinator to confirm our insurance coverage.  If my insurance covers anything for DE IVF it will only be for fresh eggs so we will go that route.  Otherwise, we will likely do a guaranteed plan with frozen.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @laurad75- glad you want to keep the thread alive!! I'll stay here with you!
    As far as agencies, I didn't look into any since my clinic (FCI in Chicago) has an in house donor base (with about 20 or so caucasin donors right now). Its cheaper to use their in house donor base since they are all screened and ready to go. You could look into traveling to a clinic with an in house donor base instead of using an agency. I know that CNY has an in house donor base and has veryyy cheap prices, though you don't get quite as many eggs, but it may be worth looking into if you are considering traveling. 

    @20T- we are on a little break right now (since our donors aren't available for a another month or two), and its really nice! Went on our first real vacation in a while! Now if only we could travel somewhere and not worry about Zika. I would definitely be on the beach somewhere ;)  
    I was in a similar situation to you, where my RE said I could definitely try again with my own eggs, but it was also totally reasonable to move on to donor- Meaning it was completely up to us and she didn't really have a strong opinion.  I think you probably knew we were planning to try one more time, but then I was delayed for 2 months with cysts and decided it was my body's message it was time to move on. Sometimes I wonder if I am moving on too fast, since I am only 29 and have only been trying 2 years. But then I think about how many tries we have had with TI, IUI, IVF and how we have NEVER had any pregnancy. So it makes me convinced there is something wrong with my eggs. We are currently trying naturally, and with each natural fail, it reminds me why I am going down this path.  I don't think I will feel 100% confident in this path until I get my BFP. Then all doubts will melt away and that will be the child that is meant for me. Our thought was also that since we are young, if we are meant to have a genetic child, it will still happen someday in the next 10-15 years. But I can't live my life like this for the next 10 years trying. I would rather move on and hopefully be blessed with children from DE, and then have a miracle later if its meant to happen. Sorry for the novel.. but know that you aren't alone and I also have similar moments of doubt, worry and yet hopeful/excitement.
    History in Spoiler

    Age: 32 (same with DH). Together since 2006, Married June 2013 and TTC since August 2015
    Diagnosis: Mild Endo, DOR (AMH of 1.5), Poor Quality Eggs/embryos, Displaced Window of Implantation (ERA Post Receptive)
    March-May 2016: 1 TI and 2 IUIs- BFN 
    June 2016- Laproscopy- found/removed mild endo and confirmed only 1 normal healthy ovary.
    August 2016- IVF #1 with Antagonist Protocol- Cancelled (2 lead follies), converted to IUI- BFN
    Oct-Nov 2016- IVF #2 with Estrogen Priming Micro Lupron Protocol, 2 eggs retrieved, day 3 transfer of 1- BFN
    January 2017- New RE, IVF#3 with Estrogen Priming Antagonist Protocol, 12 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, 2 day 5 early blasts transferred (none to freeze :(), BFN
    May 2017- Sept 2017- Starting Donor Egg process! Waiting for donor to be available... and then she is pregnant at baseline :(
    Oct 2017- Donor #2: 25R, 22M,18F, 12 blasts frozen! Fresh transfer cancelled due to thin lining with fluid :(
    Nov 2017- Hysterscopy to remove polyp
    Dec 2017- DE FET #1 on 12/8 on 2 perfect blasts- BFN and devastated
    Jan-Mar 2018- ERA #1- Post receptive by 24 hours, ERA #2 RECEPTIVE with 4 days of Progesterone
    Apr 2018- DE FET cancelled for lining issues :(
    Jun 2018- DE FET #2 of two 1AA blasts- first BFP ever! Beta 10dp5dt- 378, Beta 14dp5dt- 2840, Beta 16dp5dt- 4035, beta 18dp5dt- 10916. Due on 2/20 with one baby after a vanishing twin
    Baby Born born early @ 33.5 weeks due to Pre-e
    Back for # 2!
  • Thank you @JamieH2000  I really need to just calm down for now.  We are attending a seminar at our clinic next week where they will go over all the information with us but I'm so impatient and want to know it all NOW.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @laurad75- I totally get it! once you decide to go this way, its like let's just get the show on the road!! I am also trying to stay patient but its hard. hopefully you can get things going quickly after the seminar. Do you know if they have an in house database you can start looking at?
    History in Spoiler

    Age: 32 (same with DH). Together since 2006, Married June 2013 and TTC since August 2015
    Diagnosis: Mild Endo, DOR (AMH of 1.5), Poor Quality Eggs/embryos, Displaced Window of Implantation (ERA Post Receptive)
    March-May 2016: 1 TI and 2 IUIs- BFN 
    June 2016- Laproscopy- found/removed mild endo and confirmed only 1 normal healthy ovary.
    August 2016- IVF #1 with Antagonist Protocol- Cancelled (2 lead follies), converted to IUI- BFN
    Oct-Nov 2016- IVF #2 with Estrogen Priming Micro Lupron Protocol, 2 eggs retrieved, day 3 transfer of 1- BFN
    January 2017- New RE, IVF#3 with Estrogen Priming Antagonist Protocol, 12 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, 2 day 5 early blasts transferred (none to freeze :(), BFN
    May 2017- Sept 2017- Starting Donor Egg process! Waiting for donor to be available... and then she is pregnant at baseline :(
    Oct 2017- Donor #2: 25R, 22M,18F, 12 blasts frozen! Fresh transfer cancelled due to thin lining with fluid :(
    Nov 2017- Hysterscopy to remove polyp
    Dec 2017- DE FET #1 on 12/8 on 2 perfect blasts- BFN and devastated
    Jan-Mar 2018- ERA #1- Post receptive by 24 hours, ERA #2 RECEPTIVE with 4 days of Progesterone
    Apr 2018- DE FET cancelled for lining issues :(
    Jun 2018- DE FET #2 of two 1AA blasts- first BFP ever! Beta 10dp5dt- 378, Beta 14dp5dt- 2840, Beta 16dp5dt- 4035, beta 18dp5dt- 10916. Due on 2/20 with one baby after a vanishing twin
    Baby Born born early @ 33.5 weeks due to Pre-e
    Back for # 2!
  • As far as I know they do not have an in-house database but I've been looking at the donors on from the agencies I believe they work with.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • 20T20T member

    @20T- we are on a little break right now (since our donors aren't available for a another month or two), and its really nice! Went on our first real vacation in a while! Now if only we could travel somewhere and not worry about Zika. I would definitely be on the beach somewhere ;)  
    I was in a similar situation to you, where my RE said I could definitely try again with my own eggs, but it was also totally reasonable to move on to donor- Meaning it was completely up to us and she didn't really have a strong opinion.  I think you probably knew we were planning to try one more time, but then I was delayed for 2 months with cysts and decided it was my body's message it was time to move on. Sometimes I wonder if I am moving on too fast, since I am only 29 and have only been trying 2 years. But then I think about how many tries we have had with TI, IUI, IVF and how we have NEVER had any pregnancy. So it makes me convinced there is something wrong with my eggs. We are currently trying naturally, and with each natural fail, it reminds me why I am going down this path.  I don't think I will feel 100% confident in this path until I get my BFP. Then all doubts will melt away and that will be the child that is meant for me. Our thought was also that since we are young, if we are meant to have a genetic child, it will still happen someday in the next 10-15 years. But I can't live my life like this for the next 10 years trying. I would rather move on and hopefully be blessed with children from DE, and then have a miracle later if its meant to happen. Sorry for the novel.. but know that you aren't alone and I also have similar moments of doubt, worry and yet hopeful/excitement.
    @JamieH2000 you are SO spot on. That was so helpful to hear, thank you!
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