IVF with donor eggs

[Deleted User]

@20T. Omg!  Hopefully me too for October!!!  ER is late Aug/early sept.  Polypectomy Sept 27th, and fx FET some time after that!!!

laurad75

Finally, things are moving for all of us.  It would be so special to be cycling along with you resilient amazing women.  

@JamieH2000 Our clinic gave us the name of an attorney they recommend but the donor has to go through her testing first anyway.  I actually just emailed over our signed agreement and credit authorization for the initial payment (ded) so they will officially mark her as reserved so no one else can snatch her up and send the match to my clinic.  My clinic will then give her a detailed questionnaire to complete and then they will schedule her medical screening which will happen at my clinic.  This won't be until early September when she comes back for school.  After all the screening is done we will both sign the contracts and we will need attorneys for that.  

20T

thanks ladies
@fivetimesnoluck yes, our bank guarantees one 6 cell day 3 embryo. Our lab was in touch with them during the thaw issue though and I think they would have tried to make it right if we hadn't ended up with a blast (or at least that is the impression they gave the lab).
@JamieH2000 so we could have done a September transfer but we're traveling so it wasn't going to work. Also the prep seems pretty long, but then again I've never done a FET before so I don't know if that is normal. We're going to transfer just the 1 PGS normal at first and hope for the best! 
@laurad75 that payment is brutal but yay for locking her down!

JamieH2000

@laurad75- gotcha, makes sense! Will you keep it completely anonymous or see if the donor is open to any contact? Once we both got our lawyers, our lawyer asked us if we would be open to contact, donor sibling registry, etc, and when we told her we were willing to be open and exchange contact info, she told the donor's attorney that. The donor was also willing, so now we are a "known" donation. I only throw this out there since now its taking a little longer to get the legal contract updated and we had to have a second (easy) chat with the psycologist, but just something to consider! At first I didn't really think it would be an option since the default for the program is anonymous, but now I am really happy we will have each other's names and emails and decide together how much a relationship we will or won't have in the future.

@20T- hope you are traveling somewhere FUN before you get PREGGO!! I think once you start the meds for an FET, its about 4 weeks to transfer, or thats what my calendar is at least.

laurad75

@JamieH2000 Our agencies default is completely anonymous but if asked we would agree to exchange names, etc just in case.  I don't want to exchange Christmas cards or anything but it would be nice to have the option.  

JamieH2000

@laurad75- exactly... we are not looking to be best friends or anything.. i just figure the more open now, the more options we have in the future if the child ever feels the need to meet them. Hopefully that won't happen, but just trying to keep all doors open. Plus I am looking forward to sharing my thanks to her directly, since it is such a gift to someone she doesn't even know. 

20T

@JamieH2000 eek, just reading that is awesome (and I so hope you're right). From the date I start BCP through the transfer week looks to be about 6 weeks for me. That's so interesting that even at this stage REs use different protocols! 

fivetimesnoluck

Bumping this back up with an announcement:

It's a girl!

We found out at a small party yesterday that was thrown for us by some of our best friends. It feels amazing to have so much support and was awesome fun to celebrate with friends and family!

Everyone knows our struggles and most everyone knows we took the donor route. The party, learning the sex, and our upcoming Anatomy Scan on Wednesday make this all seem so very real. I still have a hard time accepting that this is actually finally happening. 

I'm keeping you all in my thoughts as we approach September!!

tobs2017

Of course, you can benefit from a donor egg. It appears that your follicles do not release mature eggs which cannot be fertilized and reduces your chances of conceiving. To get help, all that you need to do is to choose a clinic that offers IVF services carefully, and they will help you select an egg donor with the attributes you may be looking for. Most clinics offer a wide range of donors and will give you an opportunity to interview them before choosing a potential donor. Once the egg donor has been selected the doctors will determine whether they meet psychological, emotional and legal needs before embarking on the procedure. Once the right donor has been chosen, you will be required to choose between having a surrogate mother carry the pregnancy for you or have the egg fertilized and implanted in your womb. Note that before you choose your ideal egg donor, you may be required to sort through an extensive database. In most cases, intended mothers choose donors who resemble them in a way or have similar characteristics.  Also, you will be required to choose whether you will have an egg donor that is anonymous.

laurad75

@tobs2017 Who are you talking to? 

JamieH2000

@laurad75- that poster is just spamming all the boards. I have reported them

@fivetimesnoluck- congrats on the girl and the fun annoucement/party! So glad you have supportive family and friends. I can not wait to get to the 20 week mark! What an exciting time for you after all the losses. Please keep checking in and keep us posted!

AFM- just passing the weeks along... I start lupron in 7 days, stop BC in 11, and baseline is in 16! Think I am excited much? hahah

20T

Congratulations on a baby girl @fivetimesnoluck, that's such amazing news!

@JamieH2000 you're chugging right along!! Day by day girlie  

AFM, today is CD1, so I called into my clinic and I should be starting BCP on Wednesday (I'm just waiting to hear back for sure). The tentative calendar we made had me starting BCP on Friday so I'm just hoping that won't throw off my appointments as I had to clear my work schedule for those specific days!

[Deleted User]

@20T Hooray for CD1!!!!!
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/mz/d6txlwb31nmh.gif" alt="">

20T

Ha, thanks @BusinessWife. Would have been nice (and cheaper) to be a special snowflake but that's not my path apparently  

JamieH2000

@20T- yay for CD1! when is your estimated transfer again? I hope we are buddies!!

AFM I think we finally have the legal ironed out. The donor didn't want us to donate extra embryos, so we had to take that out. Not sure if we would have anyways, but had originally put that in the contract just to leave our options open. If we have extra when we are done, we will have to cross that path then I guess. Meds should be here tomorrow, so I always get nervous about getting them off my porch (though we live in a nice area and have never had a package stolen), but still....

20T

YAY for knocking the legal stuff off your list @JamieH2000! It's looking like we're shooting for a transfer sometime during the week of October 2nd. What about you? Good luck with your med delivery, maybe if it comes before lunch you can pop home and get it inside safely?

JamieH2000

@20t- wish I could pop home over lunch but I work 25 mins away. I'll just try to head home a little early probably. We will be sometime the week of 9/25 assuming no delays so we will be really close!! Have you decided on 1 vs 2? Also, are you doing lupron as part of your protocol? 

20T

I'm sure it'll be fine out there then @JamieH2000! That's so exciting that our transfers will be right around each other. You're doing fresh right? We're only transferring 1 for a few reasons (we know it is PGS normal and then we only have 2 total). As far as protocol, I'm doing 21 days of BCP, 14 days of Lupron and then add in vivelle dots (estrogen patches) and estrace. At some point I'll add PIO, medrol & doxy (probably after transfer) but I don't see that on the calendar. I've never attempted a FET before so this is all new and strange to me! What about you?

JamieH2000

@20t- yes we are doing fresh, assuming we can get the timing all synced up right! Haven't decided yet on 1 vs 2. Will wait and see how many we get. I'll be on BC for almost two month bc of the delay, but will start lupron 5 days before I stop BC and will likely be on it 3-4 weeks. I will also be doing estrogen patches and adding estrace if needed. So sounds very similar!! Hopefully it will be good news in October for both of us!

20T

Did your meds come in ok @JamieH2000? 

JamieH2000

@20t- thanks for checking! Yes I got them next step is driving 1.5 hours to the min clinic on Monday during business hours to donate all the stim meds to the donor that I have from my last cycle I decided not to do. It just makes me nervous since it's like carrying around thousands of dollars.  Do you have all your meds too? I feel like there isn't that much in the lupron bottle that I have to take daily for 3-4 weeks, but I'm sure the nurse did the math correctly!

20T

oh that's a great plan for your stim meds @JamieH2000-it is like you're still using it Mine are meant to arrive today but no FedEx update since 4:00AM so we'll see!

JamieH2000

@20t- hope your meds came!! When do you start lupron? I start tonight and a little nervous since I haven't taken straight lupron before (only did microdose as part of my IVF #2 protocol). I have heard it can give really bad headaches, but my plan is to drink a ton of water and trying to take care of myself with healthy eating and exercise. Only 4ish weeks to transfer, so I think I can be good for a month

Any other updates from our ladies? @laurad75 @radmom27 and everyone else I'm missing

laurad75

Oh my gosh - I'm so excited for you @JamieH2000

No update from me just yet.  I'm going to follow up with my clinic next week if I don't hear anything.  

JamieH2000

@laurad75- so much waiting in this process, I know how you feel you are just waiting to hear on timing on when the donor could start a cycle?

20T

it was a total nightmare, but yes I eventually got my meds on Saturday @JamieH2000. I start Lupron on 09/08. I did Lupron during my 1st round of IVF and I definitely remember headaches and rage ( ). Hang in there, you're in the countdown range now!

@laurad75 hope you hear back soon!!

laurad75

@JamieH2000 so. much. waiting. As soon as her questionnaire is approved by my clinic they will notify us because then we need to pay for her medical screening. She will do that screening sometime in early September.  She and I will both be on bcp while we get all the legal stuff in order and then hopefully the cycle will be in late Oct or early Nov. I think we will get a better idea of timing after her screening is complete.  

JamieH2000

@20t- I definitely felt some rage this morning at annoying work emails and definitely had a bad headache for an hour or two last night. Not sure if its the meds or just annoying work stuff haha. I'm gonna try to take it later in the evening so I can just go to bed with the headache. So glad you got your meds though!! You are going on a trip soon if I remember correctly?

@laurad75- hopefully they provide you updates, because the waiting AND wondering if the worst! You found her through an agency, but the clinic still needs to do their screening I assume? I hope the agency did some screening of their own to make sure she is a good candidate? Is this her first time donating? So many prayers the next few weeks go quickly and it all comes together smoothly!

laurad75

@JamieH2000 The agency we used is one of the more 'exclusive' ones using women with exceptional talent, academic achievement etc so they do the personality type screening but my clinic needs to do their own for good measure.  She is a first time donor so it might take a little longer.  I was told it could take up to three weeks for the questionnaire to be accepted and its been just over two so I just need to be a little more patient and then I will follow up next week.  

JamieH2000

@laurad75- ok gotcha! That is interesting. I didn't look into agencies at all so wasn't sure how that process worked and how much testing they did. It sounded like your donor was in college so shes probably pretty young and will hopefully pass the medical screening with flying colors! I am sure the questionaire will be just fine too since your agency does that screening also! Seems silly they need 3 weeks, but I guess everything takes weeks and not days in this process!

laurad75

@JamieH2000 She's a grad student and the 3 weeks is the window of when they send the questionnaire, she completes it and sends it back and then they approve it.  I know they sent it two weeks ago yesterday but I don't know if she sent it back yet.  She may have and they just haven't approved it yet.  

prudence9-2

Thanks @20T @ @laurad75 who told me to check this thread. If you all don't mind, I'll join the conversation. And though, I'm not yet at the point where I choose to go with DE, there is a chance that this is what I will end up doing. 

**tw***
I had 4 PGS normal embryos after my IVF cycle back in November. Had my first FET in January but the embryo stopped growing at 6w1d. For various reasons/complications had to wait until August to transfer the next embryo. But that ended in a chemical
and even though both embryos were PGS normal, my RE thinks it is my eggs. And that there are still some genetic defects with the embryos that were not detected in PGS. 

I still have 2 more tries. I'm currently waiting for my hcg levels to go down. And will start FET as soon as it's negative. We will add some injection called neupogen which will increase my white blood cells count and supposedly prevent my body from rejecting the embryos... well, that's the plan. But if it is an egg issue, this will obviously not work. 
**end tw**

which is why I'm starting to look into the next step which will probably be DE. From reading some of the comments here. I'm leaning toward frozen. Mainly because it seems like the faster route. 

Did any of you consider doing PGS test to the embryos? 

laurad75

@prudence9-2 I'm sorry for all your struggles. I hope this next try works out but if it happens that DE is the path you need to take, I think you will find that it is a beautiful option.  In regards to PGS testing, we decided with our RE that we will not test and do a fresh transfer.  We will test any remaining embryos and freeze for a possible sibling.  

There are pros/ cons to both frozen and fresh egg donations.  We chose fresh because our insurance will cover some of the costs and we will receive all eggs retrieved from our donor in her cycle.  With frozen you will likely receive a group of 6 or so eggs to fertilize but it is faster and some clinics offer a guarantee plan with frozen eggs.  

AFM: Finally some news!  I just sent an email to my coordinators asking if there has been any updated and they told me that the donors questionnaire had just been approved and next I will hear from the financial coordinator to pay for her medical screening.  Another hurdle cleared!  (But - why did I have to send the email to get that news?  It seems like too much of a coincidence that emailed at just the right day to get some news.  Whatever.)

JamieH2000

@prudence9-2 I have followed your journey and sad that you may have to consider DE, but we are all here for any questions. I am still hopeful one of your two remaining PGS embryos will work, but having a back up plan is always a good idea!

The decision on frozen vs fresh is definitely a personal one and there is no wrong or right option. They each have their pro's and cons. For me, I am doing Fresh, and it is taking a little longer and is a little more expensive, but you usually get a good deal more of eggs and embryos (though not always of course). I thought the time delay was worth the hopefully extra embryos-  for more tries or hopefully for a second child. My clinic does not recommend PGS for DE, so we went with that. I am not sure if I will regret that if it doesn't take or if I have a m/c, but I am also not 100% sold on PGS either. If it was going to give me a 90-99% success rate, I would do it hands down. But even with PGS, its still like 65-70% at most clinics. So for now, not doing testing. Happy to answer any questions!

prudence9-2

Thanks @laurad75 & @JamieH2000 I'm hoping that one of my two remaining would work. 

But in he meantime I got the number of the person in my clinic that deals with DE & Surrogacy. And I need to make that phone call. I want to see what they recommend. From my meeting with my RE on Monday, it seems like they usually go for fresh. 

As for PGS, you are both right. There are no guarantees. We are hoping that at least 1 of my 4 PGS normal embryos is actually normal.

I totally see see the benefits of fresh. Especially since you have good chances to end up with more embryos. 

Im turning 42 in 2 months. So I'm starting to get nervous with longer waits. But we'll see. I'm just starting to think about everything. It's a lot to take in. 

Im also using a donor sperm. And starting to wonder if his genetics don't match up well with mine and it causes all these m/c. I still have one more vial in storage. But thinking that if it gets to that, I will look for a new sperm donor. 

JamieH2000

@prudence9-2 - hope you had a good weekend and your HCG is coming down so you can get going again! when is your next check?

@laurad75- I missed your last post, but soo glad the donor got accepted! I agree with you about why did you have to email? Thats why I don't feel bad emailing asking for updates. I figure as long as I am polite, they can't get annoyed since we are paying alot of money for this! maybe give it just a day and call the financial coordinator yourself? 

AFM- AF is kind of here, hoping that it gets fully here ASAP since my baseline is tomorrow and I know they will want a thin lining before beginning estrogen. Donor baseline is today, so also praying she is ready to go! Starting to get anxious since there are still lots of milestones before transfer in 3ish weeks, but ready to get this show on the road!

prudence9-2

@JamieH2000 my beta is today. I bet it's still not negative. But I hope its close. 

Wow! So exciting!!! Good luck at the baseline tomorrow! Hope it will be nice and thin

laurad75

@JamieH2000 We still have to do the full medical screening before she is officially accepted so hopefully that happens soon.  I was told a while back that she would be back here in Boston the first week of Sept (she is a grad student) so I assume she is here now and can schedule the screening.  If I don't hear anything by the end of the week I'm gong to call again.  

allyall10

Hey ladies, I was recommended to join you all on this thread by @JamieH2000 .  I posted my welcome on my own thread today for everyone to read if they desire.  I am currently reading through everything and am here to answer questions from a veteran if needed.  I truly wish all you ladies the best!

JamieH2000

glad to see you here @allyall10!

Well ladies.. I am utterly devastated. Today was the baseline for me and the donor... and the donor is pregnant. I can't even believe this happening. We have been waiting for 4 months, did all the legal, and supposedly she was on the pill. The clinic is giving us priority in rematching and will try to get the process going ASAP, but right now I just feel broken and I am questioning if I even want to continue on this road. I never thought that literally EVERYTHING in this journey could go wrong. I thought I was at the worst having to use donor eggs when I started trying at age 27, but apparently not. I'm sorry for the negative post but I am so broken today. and not sure when there will be light again.