October 2017 Moms

FFFC (4/28)

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Re: FFFC (4/28)

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  • Ok here it goes: DH doesn't have a FB but sometimes uses mine to talk to family. There are zero trust issues, but it sucks that people probably think that. He doesn't use any social media and I wish he did so that I could tag things to him sometimes. Also the biggest reason I want him to get one is because the few times that he posts something, it is flooded with typos, and I don't want to be associated with that. FLAME AWAY


    But is your fb called "ChocolateandMrChocolateLife"? Because that's when I side eye. Not when the other person just uses it from time to time.

    eta: I see @carries2018 already said the same thing :)



  • haha @dajocl I'm glad you still love me. I've lost friends over this subject, but DH and I both feel strongly about it, so it is what it is. 

    We've since moved to an area where it's a lot more acceptable. I don't have any problem with parents asking the questions - heck, we'll be asking those kinds of questions when DD goes on playdates. I want to make sure the parents are responsible gun owners and I would fully expect someone to ask us those questions before they send their kids to our house. But it's our lifestyle, take it or leave it.
    I appreciate that you're open and don't have problems with other parents asking questions. I live in a liberal area where gun ownership isn't common so I (maybe naively?) just assume most households don't have them, but it is something I would want to know about if my son were going to spend time at a house that owns guns. 

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  • @bluejeanbabi05 :D definitely not, its only ChocolateisLife . I think I just misunderstood everyone on this board, because I've been thinking I was in the category of shared accounts whenever I see someone post it as a FFFC. 
    Me: 31 DH:35
    TTC #1: March 2011 
    Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
    dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 
    2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
    6 rounds of clomid
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    ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
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    FET 1/10/2017  
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    Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
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  • its a start @natleilynn people will always find a way, but at least we can stop some!
                                      DD1 - 10/11/13                 DD2 - 5/07/15

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  • @bluejeanbabi05 i do too, that is why we have pay the bills parties. although they are more fun when i am hammered and it isn't so bad watching money fly out of our bank account.

    oh also, we write checks and balance our handwritten checkbook. we are basically 92.
    I always did this religiously before marriage. I always knew exactly how much money I had. Then until we started using our budgeting system a year ago we just kind of flew by the seat of our pants with the bills DH knew we still owed.

    It's much better now. I handle the budget and we fight so much less.
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  • OH! i think it is weird to not share a bank account with H. i mean i get the reasons/arguments behind it and H and i make the same so that is probably why i dont really care about spending. but it is just so much easier to share. and any big financial decision we make together (cough cough...i twist his arm) so i dunno whats mine is his, whats his is mine.
    We have separate bank accounts and it is crucial to our marriage tbh. Both of our accounts have both of our names on them, but we don't mess with each other's money. The only time I do anything with his is when I make the car payment because the loan is on his account. I used to think it was weird too, but it just ended up this way when I started my business and had my business account. It all just sort of fell into separate money and splitting bills and as a result, our marriage was so much better and we fought a lot less. 
  • i dont have any problems with people who own guns. personally not for me. but you do you, i trust you are responsible with kids in the house. however, dont go voting against gun control...no one wants your guns ;)
    I totally support gun control. Like I said, my state required a TON of paperwork, training, testing, etc...and I am completely on board with that. The only problem is, people with bad intentions are going to find a way to get it either way. So it's not a great solution, but I honestly don't know what the solution is. 
    This exactly. Are we BFFs now?

    I think it's fantastic that there are strict requirements to get a CC license and stuff. I also fully realize that once someone has a gun they can unfortunately sell it pretty easily.
    Married November 2009
    Clara, August 2014 
    Baby Boy due October 2017
  • @natleilynn I completely agree about being pre-cautious in other homes. We live in a conservative area and are generally comfortable but very safety-oriented around guns, but you should never assume others hold the same amount of caution as you. My FIL has BBQ cook offs every year (they are really fun). He is chief firefighter and he and several other firefighters and police officers camp in a trailer for a few days while competing (DH stays too to help). A few years ago my SIL brought her son and they told us we could cool off inside the camper, and the son immediately went onto the bed, and grabbed a gun which was under the pillow. She grabbed it immediately and spoke with everyone about it, but I think she just assumed that they would have it put up because they are trained in gun safety, and she didn't think to ask. The thought about what could have happened gives me chills still to this day. Complacency is what causes the most damage. 
    Me: 31 DH:35
    TTC #1: March 2011 
    Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
    dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 
    2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
    6 rounds of clomid
    5 rounds of iui
    IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
    ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
    4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
    FET 1/10/2017  
    Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
    FET 2/2
    BFP 2/7/17 <3 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!!
    Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
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  • I grew up with guns in the house and shooting BB guns pretty early. I've always had a very healthy respect for firearms. One of the first times I took DH to my parents house I realized just how many guns were laying around my their house and how many were loaded for "home defense." It was really shocking to me and I had a real convo with DH on how I wanted the guns in our house stored. He was skeptical at first but since finding out I was PG he's really taken it to heart.

    Next mountain is talking to my dad about it. It never phased me when we had kids around the house because I guess I didn't realize how many he had. He will probably fight tooth and nail about unloading and locking his guns and I'm not looking forward to it. 
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  • OH! i think it is weird to not share a bank account with H. i mean i get the reasons/arguments behind it and H and i make the same so that is probably why i dont really care about spending. but it is just so much easier to share. and any big financial decision we make together (cough cough...i twist his arm) so i dunno whats mine is his, whats his is mine.
    I agree! I feel like it's a trust thing, I've had people tell me that if anything ever goes wrong in my marriage I'm going to be mad I don't have my money separate. For one, I have no money really, I'm a SAHM. For 2 DH is completely open about everything if I care to look, my name is on everything, I have passwords, I really just don't enjoy keeping track of that stuff. But when people have said things to me about it I always feel like I couldn't be in a marriage where I felt like I always had to be on alert for my spouse screwing me over. Maybe that's naive, I know horrible things happen but DH has always been transparent with everything, I trust him with our money




  • ac1259 said:
    OH! i think it is weird to not share a bank account with H. i mean i get the reasons/arguments behind it and H and i make the same so that is probably why i dont really care about spending. but it is just so much easier to share. and any big financial decision we make together (cough cough...i twist his arm) so i dunno whats mine is his, whats his is mine.
    I agree! I feel like it's a trust thing, I've had people tell me that if anything ever goes wrong in my marriage I'm going to be mad I don't have my money separate. For one, I have no money really, I'm a SAHM. For 2 DH is completely open about everything if I care to look, my name is on everything, I have passwords, I really just don't enjoy keeping track of that stuff. But when people have said things to me about it I always feel like I couldn't be in a marriage where I felt like I always had to be on alert for my spouse screwing me over. Maybe that's naive, I know horrible things happen but DH has always been transparent with everything, I trust him with our money
    i mean if you need to be worrying about those things i think you have a bigger issue than a bank account. maybe i am naive too, but i trust H...you could say it was a reason i married him. not saying if you dont share an account trust is lacking. but that is a weird thing to judge you over. i trust H won't cheat on me, could he? i am sure he could. but it isnt something i worry about bc i trust him.
                                      DD1 - 10/11/13                 DD2 - 5/07/15

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  • natleilynn I myself am not really a "gun person" but I live in an area where if you don't have one there's something wrong with you. My opinion on it is if you're going to have guns in your house to definitely teach children gun safety and how to use them when they can understand. Sounds like you got this down pat so no flaming from me :)
    Me: 29  DH: 32                                                                                          
    Married 9/27/2014
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    Due Date: 10/13/17
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  • oh! i do judge people who are wandering around packing heat in public situations "for protection"...uhh cops are barely qualified to make that call anymore when it is appropriate to use a firearm...and what are you protecting yourself from? terrorists? the odds are slim. and if you were in that situation, you can safely pick out the target and shoot them in mass hysteria? and live with the consequences from whatever happens from there?
    I carry not because I'm a wannabe cop or anything, but because I don't want to be in a situation where I'm the victim and can't protect myself (or my children). I don't ever, ever want to use it. I've never even put my hand on it while in public. But we live in a crazy world right now and you can't always count on cops to be around quickly if a situation escalates.  If you carry properly, nobody around you even knows you have it. In the classes they encourage you to continue training, make range time a priority and know your rights vs. crossing the line. DH and I took separate classes (mine was specifically for women) and I felt confident that the people in both classes were not out to take down the next person who looked at them wrong - but to protect themselves and their families if they were ever put in a bad situation. No normal person ever wants to have to use their firearm to protect themselves. But I want that as an option if I need it.

    A relative recently went through a major city's police academy so I've learned a lot about that process. Bottom line is, as an officer, you have to make split second decisions in order to save your life sometimes. The bad situations get far more media coverage than the times they diffuse the situations. I think it's hard for any of us to distinguish what qualifies as an "appropriate" time to use a firearm until you're actually in the situation. 
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  • flyingfallflyingfall member
    edited April 2017
    My family and SOs family are completely gun friendly families. I grew up with guns as well as him. I shot my first gun when I was five and my middle school actually had a gun/hunter safety course that everyone was required to take. 
     We learned at a young age how to properly handle (with parental supervision). Guns were never left out in the open. I grew up in a super safe neighborhood where we didn't lock our doors and you put your car keys under the seat so if someone needed to borrow the car they could ha.
    Both our families always have a gun on them for protection and are well versed in the laws for the state they are in. My dad travels a lot for work and sorry if you don't agree but always had a concealed weapon on him. When you're at a truck stop in the middle of no where and someone draws a gun on you (which happened to my dad, he's not even a trucker) then no cop with a gun is going to get there in time to protect you and your family. He knows when he can and can not shoot and when he has to declare a weapon. Sorry for the rant. Just a passionate issue in both our families. 

    ETA Gun laws. At first I did not get my concealed permit because in the state of NC you must shoot to kill if it is in self defense. You can't shoot to maim. Then as a young woman in a big city that was harassed on the daily and followed and whistled at I realized that it'd be insane not to get a form of self defense. 
  • The shoot to kill/shoot to maim argument, when it gets applied to "why did this cop take this action" is something I feel strongly about. Cops are taught to aim for center mass; it's the easiest target. Also, you might only get once chance to shoot, and shooting to maim may result in you dying. Lots of people can push through a lot of pain/terrible injuries when adrenaline is flowing.



  • also it is your right to carry around a gun, although it might sound like it...i am not really arguing that. but people act/come across all I WILL DEFEND MYSELF AND MY CHILD! yea i will too. but being in the situation is a lot different. pulling out a gun might make you the target instead of a "nobody laying on the ground" it is bigger than "protecting" yourself. people often sound to me all willy nilly ill toss a gun in my diaper bag just in case.
                                      DD1 - 10/11/13                 DD2 - 5/07/15

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