@Jens_Hoes what did you do in the past to deserve all of this bad luck? I think you need to live in a bubble. Joking aside, hope your power gets fixed soon and at least your H was trying to fix it and not put it off.
RE hair - I've been growing mine out since I had chopped off at least 13 inches at the beginning of my first pregnancy. My hair was nice then but I wanted to experience it long and fuller. I figured I'll get it chopped again after LO is born around when my hair starts to shed like crazy, if not sooner.
I feel yall on nerves regarding breastfeeding! I had a lot of tears the first time around. Having DH's support was the most important thing to get me through it. I suggest that FTMs who are determined to make sure your DH/SO know to encourage you (reasonably). My mom on the otherwise as like just switch to formula, it'll be fine. I was just too determined to ride it out if she was getting enough milk from me. I do remember by 2 months it got so much easier.
I've been in the FTM camp of being excited for this LO to arrive. I know it'll be ridiculously hard, but I feel like all the big things in life that are worth it are hard at some point. I feel like I have mentally prepared myself for birth and a newborn as much as it makes sense to before I get to a point of being an anxious mess. I guess I just like to look forward to the stuff I'm excited about, because it helps me get through the hard part. Now I want to go find that thread from waaaay back where STMs talked about all the good things about a newborn.
@Jens_Hoes Oh man, you really can't catch a break. Eesh, I hope that's the last of it and things look up from here!
When do y'all install the car seats? 1 month before the due date? I don't really remember what I did with DD.
With both boys, DH installed the seats the day we left the hospital. I am sure we will do the same this time. Lucia's seat is still sitting in the original packaging. I figure we still have plenty of time.
Rough weekend, @Jens_Hoes! I'm sorry you're dealing with all that.
Does anyone know if tea tree oil is okay to use in oils and lotions during pregnancy? I have an appointment tomorrow so I'll try to remember to ask then. My cousin offered to get me a spa treatment and I'm looking at a foot massage where they use a tea tree oil foot balm.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@Jens_Hoes oh no! You just can't catch a break! You deserve ice cream.
My hair has been much more manageable with pregnancy, and it's been so nice not losing half of it every day! This made me remember a question though - my hair goes all the way down to my butt and I love it. It's taken years to get it this long. But people keep asking me when I'm going to cut it! Is that really something I may have to do? I just figured I'd put it up in a bun most of the time. I did that for work everyday anyways, so that's not a big deal for me. I just can't believe how many people mention it and I feel like I'm not catching on to something.
@WombThereItIs reading your post about the "yikes" and delivery becomeing more near I'm getting a little scared. It's not all you, I've been getting progressively more nervous as the weeks are counting down about how good or bad it might be in the beginning. It's not all bad right? All pregnancy I've felt like I'm not allowed to worry about those things because we have wanted and prayed for this baby for a long time through IF and it doesn't feel right that I'm afraid I'll hate maternity leave or that I won't be good at handling the lack of sleep. Hopefully it will all be ok.
I know everyone has had different experiences, and while I'm not one who loathes the newborn stage I will say that as a FTM I don't think I was mentally prepared. I knew I wouldn't sleep much and my body figured out a way to survive, but the hardest part for me was feeling like I had lost "who I used to be" and struggling with my identity outside of being a mom/milk factory, if that makes sense. Eventually I felt a lot more like myself, but for those first few months it was equal parts very special and super challenging.
^^^^ this is so true. As a FTM, you gain a new identity. It's both wonderful and terrifying at the same time. I remember missing my old self at times too. I missed the girl who always had it together, would swim laps in the morning, and then hit the weights or jog the lakes in the evening. 2 1/2 years later, it's still a struggle. Sometimes I feel like Wonder Woman and others times I feel like a sinking ship. I think it is a combination of getting a healthy mix of the old and new you. This was a struggle that I wasn't mentally prepared for nor was I warned about.
@rkstro2, I will say that even if you DO hate the newborn phase and it's way harder than you expect it to be, it's totally ok! The baby piece is so short lived relative to the total change in your little family. I willingly went into this pregnancy knowing that I don't really like pregnancy or babies, but all of the uncomfortableness and misery is worth it to build the family that we wanted. I guess I'm saying that I hope you absolutely love the baby phase, but don't beat yourself up if you don't--focus on the total package of the future! And (at least for me) I found that it is entirely possible to hate the baby phase while being totally in love with the baby. I wouldn't change a thing, I'm just a realist with a good memory, haha...
@Kipperoo thank you so much for the encouragement! I really do beat myself up a lot so I'll just have to practice some grace for myself if I don't love the newborn phase. Hopefully my love for baby will be enough to get me through .
@rkstro2 I'm certainly not trying to scare anyone! We kind of had a perfect storm of things that made my experience unusual. We had just moved to a new place on the other side of the country from everyone we know and my husband was working 90+ hours a week. This meant we were entirely alone and had no friends or anybody nearby and I was teleworking my old job so I didn't know a soul either. He was never home and when he was he was basically sleeping or getting ready to leave so it was very isolating. Plus my son was colicky and didn't sleep hardly at all and breastfeeding was unusually hard. We finally were turning a corner and got down to 3 wake ups a night at nine months and my husband deployed. Unreal!
Looking back its almost comical how the deck seemed so stacked against us. So looking back at that seems daunting as all hell. I know that this time around I have some been there done that skills and my husband's work schedule is much improved so it won't be all the same but it's still in the back of my head.
When do y'all install the car seats? 1 month before the due date? I don't really remember what I did with DD.
I'm with @mcvgal, we had it in the car when we left the hospital. Doing a "dry fit" ahead of time is prudent, to ensure the car seat works with your vehicle, but driving around with it in your car for a month runs the risk of invalidating its safety if you're in an accident, and then having to buy another one.
@bacorrea, we made sure we knew how to install car seat ahead of time, but didn't travel with it in the car. We literally live across the highway from the hospital so DH was able to get it when he ran home to shower.
That's so interesting that yall did it the day of! I am pretty sure we did it around a month out and got it inspected by the car seat people on post to make sure it was ready to go.
Personally, the car seat is the most stressful aspect of having a child for me. Making sure it's installed correctly and worrying about if I did it wrong. I seriously cry every time I have had to install DD's car seat. I'm ridiculous I know. Ha.
Also I am with @Kipperoo I don't like the baby phase and just remember that's totally ok! DD is my favorite person in the whole world, but it took a bit to get there. Sometimes I think it takes the head knowledge of "OMG this is my baby I will love and protect her" to connect with the actual feeling, if that makes sense. Other people love the baby phase and hate toddlers. I am pretty sure we will all hate our teenagers! Ha JK!
I think we put the bases for the bucket seat in around 36? We are using my son's old infant seat so if need be I know I can install it in about 30 seconds.
@jens_hoes, sorry you are having a rough go. So many things to be frustrated about.
And sorry to everyone having a stressful, hormonal, tear filled weekend. Mine started well with DS taking his bunny pics followed by a family maternity session. This morning all 3 of us woke up sick. We were supposed to join my grandparents and other family for a lunch celebrating grandparents' birthdays. I escaped long enough to join family for lunch. I was late bc I had to wait on DH to take sick kid duty. DH set off smoke detectors as I was trying to leave. Family callled bc they were waiting on me. I showed up with vomit on my shirt and pants and my hair was a hot mess. I sat down and immediately bust into tears.
@clebl24, I also definitely wasn't prepared or warned for the inevitable loss of the self I knew before the baby. It's not like I was entirely gone, but I definitely morphed and lost a lot of the freedom I had pre-baby. With determination, you can still keep doing most of the things you once enjoyed, but they are all different and more complicated. It's a wonderful, terrifying, and dramatic change. Why people don't warn you of this is a mystery to me...
Rough weekend, @Jens_Hoes! I'm sorry you're dealing with all that.
Does anyone know if tea tree oil is okay to use in oils and lotions during pregnancy? I have an appointment tomorrow so I'll try to remember to ask then. My cousin offered to get me a spa treatment and I'm looking at a foot massage where they use a tea tree oil foot balm.
Rough weekend, @Jens_Hoes! I'm sorry you're dealing with all that.
Does anyone know if tea tree oil is okay to use in oils and lotions during pregnancy? I have an appointment tomorrow so I'll try to remember to ask then. My cousin offered to get me a spa treatment and I'm looking at a foot massage where they use a tea tree oil foot balm.
So nothing is 100 percent safe during pregnancy, there's always a risk, and companies (& FDA) cover their butts and say to use at your own risk. Always discontinue use of a product if you have any adverse reactions too. Here's more scare tactics about tea tree oil from the Mayo Clinic:
That said, I just spied a piece online about the benefits of tea tree oil for episiotomy healing, so there's that. And I think since it's a skin application in a lotion & footrub, the amount that would be absorbed systemically in your body and be processed and potentially affect the baby has got to be miniscule, right?
I do love tea tree oil, for reals. It's awesome for blemishes, bug butes, and little cuts. I'm trying to recall if I've used it while pregnant.... Good idea to ask at your appt tmrw. Good luck!
@bacorrea I'm installing my seat around 36wks, but I'm also having to do some re-arranging and moving DD1s seat to the back row so I want her to have a couple weeks to get used to it.
@Jens_Hoes I'm so sorry that you are having such an awful week! I really hope it turns around for you!
RE the new baby stage, I am the weirdo that can't wait for it and loves loves loves newborns. This is my last baby so I know it will be bittersweet! That being said, I definitely still have nerves about delivery/breastfeeding/lack of sleep and how I'm going to juggle two kids schedules of sports/school plus a newborn.
Phew. I think I caught up on everything. I know I missed things I wanted to comment on though! I've been MIA enjoying my last weekend back "home" and the sunshine before we have to return to rain and cold weather this week! I'll be thankful to be back in our routine, but not at all looking forward to leaving this weather!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
We celebrated DD2s birthday today with her favorite treat, donuts! She even had a cute donut skirt! It was quite comical to be the pregnant lady picking up 6 dozen donuts from Dunkin today!
@SKZW I ended up going in. When I'd talked to the doctor, he'd basically made me feel like an idiot for even questioning whether or not to go in. He said if I was in pain, I needed to go in. They did the FFN, which was negative. Checked my cervix, only open about a fingertip. I'm having contractions, but they're sporadic at best. I was basically told to stay off my feet and rest until my csection. Which is laughable, because I work freaking retail. Oh, and I'm supposed to take Tylenol for the discomfort. Also laughable. I borrowed a support belt from a friend tonight, so I'm hoping that will help me get through the next six weeks with less discomfort. Just very ready for this to be over. I hate being pregnant.
@Jens_Hoes - omg! So sorry that happened!! I hope they got it all fixed and power's been restored.
@bacorrea - we waited both times until I had delivered before DH installed the infant car seats but it was because the hospital would do an inspection before we left the hospital. They don't do that anymore so I actually plan on calling this week (34w) to make an appointment to have it inspected and then I will install based on when the appointment is.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@SparkySunDevil can they take you out of work? My MD approved intermittent leave for fmla for times when I'm getting contractions. They don't do bed rest anymore but at least they are helping protect my job and myself. They also took me off having to do portable x-rays which was practically a whole day of walking and standing
@SparkySunDevil can they take you out of work? My MD approved intermittent leave for fmla for times when I'm getting contractions. They don't do bed rest anymore but at least they are helping protect my job and myself. They also took me off having to do portable x-rays which was practically a whole day of walking and standing
This. If you (or your doctor) are concerned about preterm labor, you should look in to this. A healthy baby/mama is the most important thing.
@CherryBananas I didn't see if anyone answered about your hair but I kept mine "long" (not nearly like yours) but there's no reason to cut it unless your against pulling it up but it sounds like you're prepared for that! Newborns can grasp as a reflex but I never had a problem with DD pulling my hair until she was bigger and I could tell her no or just adapt and wear it up during that phase. For me there was just no time to style my hair let alone get a decent shower (it becomes a luxury for awhile) so bun it was!
On the subject of hair...I had mine pretty long when DS was born and I put it up nearly every day...it was awesome and fast and stayed away from baby fingers. One day, I decided it would be even easier if I cut it above my shoulders. I quickly realized this was a big mistake because it took more time to style and had to be washed and styled every day (vs every other day with my longer hair)...so I've been growing it back out with this pregnancy. It's JUST at the point that it feels long enough to be easy again.
I have short curly hair at the moment. Its fairly easy to keep up with, wash, put product in, and go. However, I know when I don't do anything with it for a day or 2 it is a mess! So, I'm attempting to grow it a little bit more so that I can jut put it up once baby is here. Just easier if I'm not able to wash it or wet it down to actually tame it.
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
I had no intention of cutting my hair last time, but ended up chopping off 12" and donating 2 months after DS was born for two reasons. 1) It was taking me too long to dry and ended up with wet hair in a bun a lot and 2) I was losing hair by the handful in the shower and needed to give my drain snake a break. I have my fingers crossed the hair loss won't be as bad this time, so I can keep my hair length.
@SKZW, thanks for the response! In case anyone was wondering about tea tree oil, my doctor said it's not proven safe so I should avoid it. The spa is going to use unscented lotions, which I found out is their policy anyways for pregnant women.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@erinh2005@Kipperoo thanks ladies! I never style my hair during the week. I'm not a morning person at all so I get out of the shower, put it up in a bun, and head to work. I've been doing it like that for 11 years so it's a habit now. It's good to know I'm not completely oblivious to some secret thing that would require me to chop off all my hard work. I like the option of taking it down on weekends or when I have somewhere nice to go
Re: Weekend Randoms 3/18&19
I feel yall on nerves regarding breastfeeding! I had a lot of tears the first time around. Having DH's support was the most important thing to get me through it. I suggest that FTMs who are determined to make sure your DH/SO know to encourage you (reasonably). My mom on the otherwise as like just switch to formula, it'll be fine. I was just too determined to ride it out if she was getting enough milk from me. I do remember by 2 months it got so much easier.
@Jens_Hoes Oh man, you really can't catch a break. Eesh, I hope that's the last of it and things look up from here!
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Does anyone know if tea tree oil is okay to use in oils and lotions during pregnancy? I have an appointment tomorrow so I'll try to remember to ask then. My cousin offered to get me a spa treatment and I'm looking at a foot massage where they use a tea tree oil foot balm.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
My hair has been much more manageable with pregnancy, and it's been so nice not losing half of it every day! This made me remember a question though - my hair goes all the way down to my butt and I love it. It's taken years to get it this long. But people keep asking me when I'm going to cut it! Is that really something I may have to do? I just figured I'd put it up in a bun most of the time. I did that for work everyday anyways, so that's not a big deal for me. I just can't believe how many people mention it and I feel like I'm not catching on to something.
edit for spelling
Looking back its almost comical how the deck seemed so stacked against us. So looking back at that seems daunting as all hell. I know that this time around I have some been there done that skills and my husband's work schedule is much improved so it won't be all the same but it's still in the back of my head.
May '17 labor memes
pretty sure we did it around a month out and got it inspected by the car seat people on post to make sure it was ready to go.
Personally, the car seat is the most stressful aspect of having a child for me. Making sure it's installed correctly and worrying about if I did it wrong. I seriously cry every time I have had to install DD's car seat. I'm ridiculous I know. Ha.
May '17 labor memes
And sorry to everyone having a stressful, hormonal, tear filled weekend. Mine started well with DS taking his bunny pics followed by a family maternity session. This morning all 3 of us woke up sick. We were supposed to join my grandparents and other family for a lunch celebrating grandparents' birthdays. I escaped long enough to join family for lunch. I was late bc I had to wait on DH to take sick kid duty. DH set off smoke detectors as I was trying to leave. Family callled bc they were waiting on me. I showed up with vomit on my shirt and pants and my hair was a hot mess. I sat down and immediately bust into tears.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/tea-tree-oil/safety/hrb-20060086
That said, I just spied a piece online about the benefits of tea tree oil for episiotomy healing, so there's that. And I think since it's a skin application in a lotion & footrub, the amount that would be absorbed systemically in your body and be processed and potentially affect the baby has got to be miniscule, right?
I do love tea tree oil, for reals. It's awesome for blemishes, bug butes, and little cuts. I'm trying to recall if I've used it while pregnant.... Good idea to ask at your appt tmrw. Good luck!
@Jens_Hoes I'm so sorry that you are having such an awful week! I really hope it turns around for you!
RE the new baby stage, I am the weirdo that can't wait for it and loves loves loves newborns. This is my last baby so I know it will be bittersweet! That being said, I definitely still have nerves about delivery/breastfeeding/lack of sleep and how I'm going to juggle two kids schedules of sports/school plus a newborn.
Phew. I think I caught up on everything. I know I missed things I wanted to comment on though! I've been MIA enjoying my last weekend back "home" and the sunshine before we have to return to rain and cold weather this week! I'll be thankful to be back in our routine, but not at all looking forward to leaving this weather!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
@bacorrea - we waited both times until I had delivered before DH installed the infant car seats but it was because the hospital would do an inspection before we left the hospital. They don't do that anymore so I actually plan on calling this week (34w) to make an appointment to have it inspected and then I will install based on when the appointment is.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003M8GMUY/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1490060188&sr=8-4&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=shower+drain+catcher&dpPl=1&dpID=51+TUFzfOvL&ref=plSrch
There's also an Umbra starfish one that works great too.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EU6HB9S/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.