May 2017 Moms

Weekend Randoms 3/18&19

24

Re: Weekend Randoms 3/18&19

  • To all those not feeling well, I hope you feel better soon. I didn't sleep well last night, and it's gloomy and raining here, so I'm with those who are tired and unenthused about the day.

    We did tons of hospital bag packing. We have set up/ordered things we need (doula, must need items) so we are working our way through the "before baby" list of things to do.

    I had a dream last night everyone around was a baby and I had to keep saving all of these baby's lives because they were so helpless! Exhausting!

    @Jens_Hoes I'm so sorry to hear about all of your misfortune! I hope this just means it's all getting out of the way before baby!

    @clebl24 I don't see anything wrong with that image, aside from the grammatical error. Conceptually, I think it is beneficial to let people know ahead of time if they are welcome or not. You don't want people going to the hospital, and then being told they can't see you-- I think that's more rude. But, as @Yiggle09 said, I would think in the hospital would be better than once you're at home. Are you a FTM? If not, I'm sure you know better. My FTM brain thinks they should visit right after (in hospital) and then disappear for a month (once DH and I are settled with LO more). :)
    SKZWYiggle09
  • SKZWSKZW member
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    kns1988 said:
    @clebl24, I can't believe so many people are okay with that sign. I don't mean to be so blunt, but I find things like that to be cringe-worthy and very off-putting. I also loathe things with rhymes on them. I would absolutely handle it on a one on one basis if people ask. 
    This^ mostly. The part about "this is set in stone" rubbed me the wrong way. The top part seems to be reasonable enough to tell people. I like the idea of one-on-one chat with people who might be the most likely to show up uninvited. Also not disclosing the room number is good, and checking with hospital policy on visitors. Your nurses can run interference, if needed, and say things like "I'm sorry, it's time for xyz and you'll need to leave now."

    Our family all lives far away, so we didn't have to deal with the revolving door at home, but for the people who did visit, we made it clear ahead of time that if they visited in a "support" capacity, rather than having to be entertained and/or spending every minute with the baby, that'd be the Best way for them to help us out.

    I think it's good that you're already thinking about managing expectations, no matter the method you choose! It'll help in the long run.
  • @clebl24 I see. Well, maybe do a memo, but cut it down so it's grammatically correct and leave out the "set in stone". Just make it short and sweet. If people have a problem, they'll confront you about it I'm sure.
    SKZWvrj0522
  • @SKZW That's absolutely adorable! And how perfect! I love that they have a way of reassuring us in the womb. :)
    SKZW
  • SKZWSKZW member
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    @jayandaplus: Thank you & I agree! If he's happy and healthy, then all's progressing right, right?
    jayandaplusbacorrea
  • @clebl24 Apart from the grammatical error, I personally don't see anything wrong with that message and wouldn't be offended to receive something like that.

    @Louise_Belcher I'm not sure when the linea nigra is supposed to appear. I've had mine for a while now, although the top is still more faint than the bottom.
  • @Louise_Belcher I don't have a linea nigra...not even anything faint. My belly button hasn't even popped out! It just looks flat sometimes depending where he's at. 

    Im 50/50 on the sign. I agree that shortening it and fixing the errors would be good. Or just tell people...whatever you're comfortable with. I'm not sure what we will do. A lot of family and friends live out of state so it's really just my immediate family and some friends we have here. I'm guessing it will just be immediate family at the hospital and others can come once we are settled. We did find out that my MIL is planning on coming the end of June (not sure of the exact date) until I think July 11. Her reasoning is 1) we will be more settled and 2) she thought it would be good in case we want to do something for our anniversary (July 4), which I thought was nice. Our friend from Cali is trying to figures out when to come and we just told her when she can afford it is fine, I'll be off for 8.5 weeks so she can come during then if she wants. Figured I'd let her know when others are coming in town and work around that. My bio dad just emailed me when they are thinking of coming (mixed emotions but that's a really long story), which would be May 27-June 2 and want to spend as much time with us. It's starting to feel very real and a bit overwhelming honestly. Sorry that kind of became a ramble...anyway, that's what's going on with us for when little man arrives! At least for the time being...



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    "A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
    Jkp7749SKZW
  • @WombThereItIs oh man!!! I hope you are right and I get a pass this round. It lasted well past a year after birth last time and I was not a fan. 

    @SKZW That litttle thumb is adorable!

    @starphish18 Awesome on your sweet deals! And go you going out 3 nights in a row! Shoot I made pancakes this morning and then had to lay down for a while just to have the energy to run to the store. I totally wouldn't have it in me for that much social time. 
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    starphish18SKZW
  • jayandaplusjayandaplus member
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    edited March 18
    Just got off the phone with my mom and I can't stop crying. DH and I decided to ask her to come 3 weeks after my EDD and stay at a hotel. This went over very badly, she's not coming at all, and now I'm to blame for hurting her (again) and keeping her from her grandbaby. I know she's going to say we didn't let her come and that's how this will all be remembered. I know I can't stop crying because of the hormones (normally not a crier) but still. I'm so hurt AND feel like a horrible and mean daughter and person.
    thistlenweedsSKZWerinh2005Squirtgun
  • @jayandaplus
    I'm so sorry your mother did not respond how you had hoped. You need to remember it is all about you and your family. Only you and your DH know the best thing for you.  <3 

    jayandapluserinh2005Squirtgun
  • @Jens_Hoes, I think you are due some good luck! Yikes!

    @jayandaplus, I'm sorry your mom is being so selfish. You have every right to have that time for you and your family to acclimate.

    On the subject of hospital visitors, I would opt out of the cutesy saying and just send a more email asking for privacy at the hospital. But that's just because I'm not a cutesy saying type of gal. 

    My weekend is pretty low key...lots of toddler activities. My whole baby making/pushing area is sore today. It simultaneously feels like I did a million sit-ups and rode a bike 10 miles. Ugh.
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  • @jayandaplus I'm so sorry you have that stress on your from you mom. You are NOT to blame for her not visiting, if she does end up choosing not to. That is all on her, and even she knows that. My guess is she'll change her tune once she realizes you're not going to just give in to her guilting you.

    @thistlenweeds Oh man, sorry about the house delays. That must be incredibly frustrating, especially with a LO on the way.
    thistlenweedsSKZWerinh2005Squirtgun
  • bacorreabacorrea member
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    edited March 19
    Catching up! 

    Sorry about out your rough week @Jens_Hoes

    @thistlenweeds ugh I am so sorry. I've never done anything like it, but can you get something out of it/pay your contractor less or something? That really stinks. I'm sorry. 

    @jayandaplus hugs girl. I'm sorry. Hopefully your mom will come around. 

    In regards to hospital visitors. I am not a big fan of cutesy sayings, but I think you should be firm in whatever way you feel. If you're 100% you don't want visitors in the hospital I would be making that clear now. There is a chance DH won't make it for the birth so we won't have any visitors besides my parents and siblings who will have DD and we won't be posting anything on the internet until DH has met DS. 

    Also adding to what PP said. Check with your hospital policy on visitors. When DD was born no kids under 18 were allowed to visit anyone on the floor unless they were siblings.
    Jens_Hoesjayandaplusthistlenweedsvrj0522
  • MoshiMoshi7MoshiMoshi7 member
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    edited March 19
    @jayandaplus I think everyone before me has covered everything well, but sending you hugs, lady. 

    @thistlenweeds I'm so sorry they pushed the closing back. Building a house is so stressful, especially when they don't meet deadlines. Fingers crossed for you that everything goes smooth in April and you can get all settled before baby.
    jayandaplusSKZWthistlenweeds
  • Thank you everyone!

    @bacorrea doesn't look like that yet. He's not a contractor, he's the builder/seller so we don't have any real rights outside of mutual acceptance yet.
  • kns1988kns1988 member
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    @Louise_Belcher, I had a similar cry the other day. I got all teary during Lamaze class because we watched a birth video and I was so scared that I won't be able to do it. I hope breastfeeding is a better experience for you this time around.
    Me: 28, DH: 30
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17.

  • Catching up just now... had a not-so-bad shift today, showered, and now in bed "settling" down.

    @jayandaplus sending good vibes to you because even though you weren't wrong for expressing your family's wishes, it still sucks that your mom reacted that way and you feel the way you do. 

    @Jens_Hoes WOW, what a crazy string of events. Hang in there and yes, stay indoors or bubble wrap yourself (and car), lol.

    @Yiggle09 hope you feel better soon.

    I'm with the no sleep-too much pressure down there-always peeing crew. Baby boy had dropped sometime last night and I was UNCOMFORTABLE. I think I need to bust out my Support belt now. 

    Good night for now... I hope!

    DS 7/24/15

    LO due 5/9/17

    Yiggle09Jens_Hoes
  • Ok. I'm really baffled by this. Would most of your family and friends really just show up at a hospital unannounced and uninvited? That for sure is not normal in my circle. I've never seen anything like that. 

    Im sorry for everyone that cried today and yesterday. Seems like a bad day for a lot and I hope Sunday is better  :)
    American living abroad in the Middle East.
    BFP: August 22, 2016
    EDD: April 29, 2017





    mdlorenzJens_Hoesthistlenweeds
  • With so much going on with everyone, I thought this was a good read. We all do so much for everyone else, including growing a baby!, and we often forget to take the time out for us. I know I do! So, here's something I saw on Pinterest this morning and thought it would be a good share  :)

    http://www.thirteenthoughts.com/50-ways-to-practice-self-care/?pp=1&amp;utm_content=buffer996c5&amp;utm_medium=social&amp;utm_source=pinterest.com&amp;utm_campaign=buffer



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  • kns1988kns1988 member
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    @starphish18, people are so weird to pregnant women! I had one the other day tell me "ugh, God help you" when I told her I was having a boy. I just don't get it. Also, 3 nights of being social in a row would completely wear me out even if I weren't pregnant. 
    Me: 28, DH: 30
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17.

    starphish18SKZW
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