Have we not had one of these in a while? I figured since we're all sleep deprived and/or heavily pregnant, there must be quite a few things we need to confess!!
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
My first day home alone with 2 kids consisted of me sitting on the couch with my newborn all day and let my son watch TV and movies from the time my husband left for work to the time he got back home. It was a rather successful day TBH.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
This is probably more of a UO than a Fffc but i gots feels. I didn't want to argue in the depression thread but I feel like bitching about how long your maternity leave is obscene. The huge majority of people in this group get six weeks with their babies before going back. Maybe for some people that seems like enough but I mean that's me after this weekend and I'm still fucking bleeding and can't get my pants on. So I get being unhappy being stuck at home with a newborn but you can complain about it without shoving your privledge in everyone's face. It totally gives me flashbacks of how crazy insensitive people are when you're dealing with fertility stuff.
My confession is that I had to stop reading about all y'all's births, because it was bringing out some nasty jealousy on my part. I didn't get the birth I wanted, and it's been challenging to accept. While, yes, 'healthy mom, healthy babe' is the most important thing, it really doesn't capture the whole picture, and it can be a bit dismissive of the level of emotions that can come up after a hard birth.
The snacks I justify during MOTN feedings are shameful. Last night I are two cold mozzarella sticks. We have plenty of fruit and healthy options but they just don't exist to me at 3 am
After I get the older kids to school, baby and I come home and spend half the day watching HGTV in bed. I'm still a bit sore and a lot sleep deprived, so I have no drive to do much else.
My first day home alone with 2 kids consisted of me sitting on the couch with my newborn all day and let my son watch TV and movies from the time my husband left for work to the time he got back home. It was a rather successful day TBH.
I did this too! But added a little walk in to make us feel like we did something lol .
Is it weird that I don't really have a birth plan or birth expectations? Like I filled out my hospital's form and there are some things I know like I want to do skin to skin and breastfeed if possible. But for the actual birth I just pretty much put maybe for everything. Like maybe I'll want to labor in a tub, maybe I'll want an epidural, maybe I'll want to listen to music. My plan is really just to do whatever the doctors/nurses suggest and whatever I feel like at the time.
Also the labor rooms have DVD players so I've packed all 6 Rocky movies and am super excited to watch them. Though in line with my first paragraph I've also packed books of multiple genres, a coloring book, cards, & have music playlists all set up in case I'm just not in the mood for something.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@poetryandoceans I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I felt really positively about my birth experience at the time, but looking back on it actually makes me feel pretty sad. At the time I think I was just happy that she was here safely, but when I think about everyone rushing off to the nicu and me staying behind alone in recovery I feel pretty bummed. Also, trudging between my room and baby's room with my newly stitched second degree tear, hand expressing colostrum until my boobs were bruised, and so on. It's hard not to feel kind of jealous of those who can room in, bond, and rest. I'm going to start seeing a therapist to process some if this stuff because I really don't want it to grow bigger than it is for me. I know in the end it's just a small piece of becoming a mom, but it feels pretty major. Thinking of you.
My first day home alone with 2 kids consisted of me sitting on the couch with my newborn all day and let my son watch TV and movies from the time my husband left for work to the time he got back home. It was a rather successful day TBH.
I did this too! But added a little walk in to make us feel like we did something lol .
Ha, you win!
im dying to go out for a walk outside but there's still a foot of icy snow on the roads everywhere here and so it's just not worth it right now. I'm very ready for spring to get here.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
My first day home alone with 2 kids consisted of me sitting on the couch with my newborn all day and let my son watch TV and movies from the time my husband left for work to the time he got back home. It was a rather successful day TBH.
I did this too! But added a little walk in to make us feel like we did something lol .
Ha, you win!
im dying to go out for a walk outside but there's still a foot of icy snow on the roads everywhere here and so it's just not worth it right now. I'm very ready for spring to get here.
We must live in very different climate areas lol it was 80 degrees - I was actually concerned it was too hot out. You get a pass for not leaving home at all! I would not have either.
@lemieuxk thank you I agree, I think talking to someone is really important. I've been seeing my counsellor to reframe the experience, and while I no longer feel like I 'failed' or whatever, my jealousy is telling me I'm not quite as 'over it' as I'd like to be.
i hope your time with a therapist is productive. I'm here if you want to vent
@marriedhamstermom I don't think you will need all that stuff for when you are in the hospital. Laboring for 12 hrs SOUNDS like a long time but it goes really quickly and you're not bored at all. I can't speak for other moms- maybe it is different if you got an epidural or got to labor at home a long time- but I know the 1st 6 hrs I was in the hospital while we were waiting for pit to kick in FLEW by even though I wasn't in "real" labor. We spent it walking and bouncing on the labor ball to try to get things moving. and the next 6 if you had turned on a tv or asked if I wanted to color or play cards I would have bitten your head off. My H turned on music but I didn't hear it. The nurses kept apologizing for the mom screaming in the next room-- i couldn't hear her either. I was totally in my own world. And then postpartum you are so so tired and all you want to do is sleep and snuggle your lo.
@marriedhamstermom Same way here! I know I do want the meds. Other than that, both of us make it out healthy and try not to poop while pushing! Even though everyone says you don't know or the nurses clean it up, it's the ridiculous thing I am obsessing over!
@marriedhamstermom +1 to pretty much all of what @Gretchypoo said. I didn't have a birth plan at all. I was just like you and figured I'd play it by ear. And it worked for me. I labored med free for 9 hours and was doing fine. Then I decided the tub might help. But the second I got in, I was miserable and wanted the epidural right then and there. I blamed the tub at the time, but I hadn't realized I was transitionsing. I knew that if I didn't leave my options open and had my heart absolutely set on a particular birth, I would've been devastated had things gone differently.
We were a total team green failure. This is not a gender disappointment post though.
****TW warning****
We were very excited during this pregnancy to be team green and guess what we were having. By any list, over 90% of our symptoms were pointing to a boy. We bonded really really hard with the thought of having a boy. When it was revealed we had a girl, both H and I felt like we lost this son we had bonded with. Being that this was a rainbow pregnancy, we had already lost one baby, and it's been hard processing feeling like we lost a second. It didn't help that she was in the nicu and her entire labor we joked about the awesome superbowl party we were going to have with her in the recovery room.
My love for our daughter has grown daily and I am bonding with her great, but it's still been an adjustment. The first time we went to the store to clothes shop (five days post partum), I cried in the middle of an aisle because I was drawn to "boy" clothes more than "girl" clothes and I felt I had no idea how to be a girl mom. Needless to say, she still rocked some camo on H's birthday last week.
Lesson learned...don't trust old wives tales, and if I want to bond with a certain sex before the birth, find out what we're having.
@Gretchypoo that's good to know! Well it's all already in my bag so I'm just gonna leave it there and if I don't use it I don't. Maybe DH will find some use out of it even if I don't!
@leslie1331 I'm trying not to worry about pooping while pushing but I agree it's hard not to worry about it despite the roughly hundred articles I've read saying you won't care when you're in the moment. I hope they are right.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@marriedhamstermom I'm on the other end of things, I say bring stuff to entertain you because you may want it. I wasn't really planning on doing too much during my birth, I thought labour would keep me occupied. Turns out, when you labour for 47 hours, you need things to take your mind off it.
Especially if it doesn't take up too much space in your bag, I don't think you'll regret having it. Best case scenario, your labour goes so well and you're so distracted by it that you don't need it, and you look back on it and laugh at how "optimistic" you were to think you'd need those things. But if you ask me, if you're labouring long enough that you need something to take your mind off it, you'll really want it.
@leslie1331 you're gonna have a hard time pushing if you're trying not to poop! It's pretty much bound to happen. I knew and I wasn't happy about it but oh well.
@poetryandoceans I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I felt really positively about my birth experience at the time, but looking back on it actually makes me feel pretty sad. At the time I think I was just happy that she was here safely, but when I think about everyone rushing off to the nicu and me staying behind alone in recovery I feel pretty bummed. Also, trudging between my room and baby's room with my newly stitched second degree tear, hand expressing colostrum until my boobs were bruised, and so on. It's hard not to feel kind of jealous of those who can room in, bond, and rest. I'm going to start seeing a therapist to process some if this stuff because I really don't want it to grow bigger than it is for me. I know in the end it's just a small piece of becoming a mom, but it feels pretty major. Thinking of you.
This! After they wheeled me back to my room I just broke down sobbing. I knew Harrison was in good shape for being so early, but all the emotions just hit me then. My mom, daughter, IL's, and DH were in my room when I came out from my C-section, but DH had to send everyone but DD from the room because I was so upset and sad. I still feel upset sometimes, because it feels like my body didn't do what it was supposed to for this baby, with the PPROM, but my doc reminded me at my 6 week follow up that we kept him in another 2.5 weeks after my membranes ruptured, so that's a positive that he grew that much more.
I missed the whole nesting stage and the uncomfortable "is he coming soon" part. DH and I had big plans for our last few months with DD as an only child after 7 years. I know she had 7 years of feeling special, but we wanted to ease her into the transition and she was thrown into total upheaval with me in the hospital so long, then not even being able to meet her brother for a month while he was in the NICU.
I have major mom-guilt about not being able to take care of both my children's needs at the same time for a month. In my head, I know everything worked out and DD was happy and well cared for while her brother was in the NICU, but in my heart, sometimes that hurts.
Like you said, I know that eventually this will just be a blip in our story, but right now it's not easy.
@leslie1331 you're gonna have a hard time pushing if you're trying not to poop! It's pretty much bound to happen. I knew and I wasn't happy about it but oh well.
Definitely pooped with #1 but did not with #2. Win some, lose some!
My husband wasnt grossed out by me so that's all that matters ha!
FFFC: I pooped about four times, and I absolutely noticed. If anything's in there, it's coming out. I can't say I was thrilled about it, but I couldn't afford to dwell.
I didn't poop, but I thought I was going to. And I wanted to! I was waiting to push thinking "I cannot wait to poop when I start pushing. Idgaf who sees" Because the pressure was so much. Turns out the giant poop I thought I had to take was a baby and the urge left when she came out. Go figure.
i pooped. had no idea either. nurse was stealth about cleaning it up. i caught her at the end and even pointed it out. H hadn't seen it til i pointed it out. And let me tell you I didn't care one bit. There was way too much other shit (see what I did there) going on. LOL
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
I didn't poop with #1, but did with #2. To effectively push you really can't focus on it too much. I was so nervous about it the first pregnancy, but once in the moment of labor realized it was the least of my concerns really. And with #2 they cleaned it up so quickly I really didn't think of it/realize what had happened till after baby was here.
I have pretty much accepted I will! And I know if I am pushing out a baby, I won't give a F what is going on. It's like I know it's dumb, but I keep thinking about it. It's like the Strep B test, I was so worried. And then it happened and I was embarrassed I even worried about it.
I got into my fat jeans 5 days after delivery and I want to tell everyone I know, but I won't. I also would want to punch somebody in the face if I saw them post that shit.
I'm impressed any of you are putting on jeans. I've been rotating the same 3 pairs of yoga pants since I pushed out this baby.
My FFFC is that I lost 30 lbs being pregnant and now my FWP is that I have to buy all new pants at some point. The thought of going jeans shopping with a newborn terrifies me only slightly less than the thought of leaving her for a few hours and risking the panic attack and milksplosion.
I knew about pooping during pushing, but H had no idea since we didn't get a chance to take the birth class and I didn't really have time to prepare him for anything labor related since DD came so unexpectedly. He was kind of shocked about it lol.
I never actually got around to buying maternity pants. My maternity pants have been my fat jeans with a belly band. They are not comfortable at all and I only wear them to work but it got to the point where I procrastinated so much it didn't make sense to buy pants for just a couple weeks.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Lmao I packed away all of my jeans months ago and have yet to do so much as glance at them. I'm living in the land of leggings, yoga pants and dresses.
Another confession-I know I shouldn't care and my body did an amazing thing and all that but I really don't want to look pregnant anymore. I don't mind looking like I gained weight, but right now I could post a March or April HDBD pic and nobody would question me. I ran into the grocery store to pee the other day while H and DS stayed in the car and got a congrats, when are you due? C'mon ute it's, time to relax!
Another confession-I know I shouldn't care and my body did an amazing thing and all that but I really don't want to look pregnant anymore. I don't mind looking like I gained weight, but right now I could post a March or April HDBD pic and nobody would question me. I ran into the grocery store to pee the other day while H and DS stayed in the car and got a congrats, when are you due? C'mon ute it's, time to relax!
I was nice about it but told her I had the kid a week ago, he was in the car with my husband, and I was still waiting to deflate. Too sleepy to get creative and the woman was really trying to be nice. I've become more sympathetic in my non-pregnancy.
I was nice about it but told her I had the kid a week ago, he was in the car with my husband, and I was still waiting to deflate. Too sleepy to get creative and the woman was really trying to be nice. I've become more sympathetic in my non-pregnancy.
Awwww you'll deflate soon! I'm with you about trying to appreciate my body for all its done while also wanting it to look normal again.
Re: FFFC (2/24)
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Example: it's 1 am? If he sleeps three more hours I'll be up at 2 am... oh wait it's 1045 pm.
Also the labor rooms have DVD players so I've packed all 6 Rocky movies and am super excited to watch them. Though in line with my first paragraph I've also packed books of multiple genres, a coloring book, cards, & have music playlists all set up in case I'm just not in the mood for something.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
im dying to go out for a walk outside but there's still a foot of icy snow on the roads everywhere here and so it's just not worth it right now. I'm very ready for spring to get here.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
i hope your time with a therapist is productive. I'm here if you want to vent
****TW warning****
We were very excited during this pregnancy to be team green and guess what we were having. By any list, over 90% of our symptoms were pointing to a boy. We bonded really really hard with the thought of having a boy. When it was revealed we had a girl, both H and I felt like we lost this son we had bonded with. Being that this was a rainbow pregnancy, we had already lost one baby, and it's been hard processing feeling like we lost a second. It didn't help that she was in the nicu and her entire labor we joked about the awesome superbowl party we were going to have with her in the recovery room.
My love for our daughter has grown daily and I am bonding with her great, but it's still been an adjustment. The first time we went to the store to clothes shop (five days post partum), I cried in the middle of an aisle because I was drawn to "boy" clothes more than "girl" clothes and I felt I had no idea how to be a girl mom. Needless to say, she still rocked some camo on H's birthday last week.
Lesson learned...don't trust old wives tales, and if I want to bond with a certain sex before the birth, find out what we're having.
@leslie1331 I'm trying not to worry about pooping while pushing but I agree it's hard not to worry about it despite the roughly hundred articles I've read saying you won't care when you're in the moment. I hope they are right.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Especially if it doesn't take up too much space in your bag, I don't think you'll regret having it. Best case scenario, your labour goes so well and you're so distracted by it that you don't need it, and you look back on it and laugh at how "optimistic" you were to think you'd need those things. But if you ask me, if you're labouring long enough that you need something to take your mind off it, you'll really want it.
I missed the whole nesting stage and the uncomfortable "is he coming soon" part. DH and I had big plans for our last few months with DD as an only child after 7 years. I know she had 7 years of feeling special, but we wanted to ease her into the transition and she was thrown into total upheaval with me in the hospital so long, then not even being able to meet her brother for a month while he was in the NICU.
I have major mom-guilt about not being able to take care of both my children's needs at the same time for a month. In my head, I know everything worked out and DD was happy and well cared for while her brother was in the NICU, but in my heart, sometimes that hurts.
Like you said, I know that eventually this will just be a blip in our story, but right now it's not
easy.
My husband wasnt grossed out by me so that's all that matters ha!
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17
I also would want to punch somebody in the face if I saw them post that shit.
Edited to add image
My FFFC is that I lost 30 lbs being pregnant and now my FWP is that I have to buy all new pants at some point. The thought of going jeans shopping with a newborn terrifies me only slightly less than the thought of leaving her for a few hours and risking the panic attack and milksplosion.
edit spelling
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17
EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
My hips were like, nah we're already wide this time around
My hips don't lie.