Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: February IVF
@laurad75 It was a lot easier than I thought it would be! I went through California cryobank. Their website has baby pictures of people who have donated & their interests, health history, etc & you just pick who you'd like.
@stella_700 GOOD LUCK!! That's so exciting! FX for a lot of eggs!. How was the trigger shot? Did you have your husband give it to you or did you do that one yourself?
@famiylgrl86 so awesome! Keep us posted, you're almost there!
I saw my doctor today. She said I'm good to go. Triggering tonight and retrieval on Saturday. Exciting, but nerve wracking at the same time!
Me: 31
DH: 34
Ttc since 11/15
Unexplained infertility
IUI #1: 11/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #2: 12/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #3: 1/17. Letrazole and ovidrel BFN
IVF: 2/25 10 eggs retrieved, 9 fertilized, 7 embryos frozen, 7 embryos normal PGS/PGD results
FET #1: 3/22 CP
Hysteroscopy: 5/8 polyp removal
FET#2: 5/31 ??
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for being on this board and sharing and I hope for BFPs for everyone... perhaps I'll be back for the April IUI group
Me: 37 DH: 34 Married since September 28, 2014
BFP: March 2015 m/c at 4 weeks
IUI #1 (+clomid): April 2017 (donor sperm, BFN)
IUI #2 (+femera): August 2017 (cancelled, ovulating on right side, which is blocked)
IUI #3 (+femera): September 2017 (donor sperm, BFN)
@Hoping10 good luck this weekend!
@rayoflight80 I am sorry
@stella_700 I hope it went well today and you're recovering quickly!
@hoping10 good luck!
10/16-12/16 -3 IUI, all BFN
2/17 IVF #1 froze 5 five day blasts
5/17 FET#1 BFN
6/17 FET #2 BFP
@rayoflight80 I'm so sorry. Hugs.
@rayoflight80 I am so sorry. Sounds like you have a good plan for moving forward. FX for your next steps
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
I hate waiting, it drives me demented. I'm not a patient person, it isn't my best character trait. They got 12 eggs, not has high as I had hoped, so now we are just waiting on the fertilization report today. I didn't think to ask if that was the mature number or the total number, I might have been a bit out of it still. While I don't have anything to compare this to I think I'm doing pretty well in recovery. I think this is part of how good my doctor is but I surprised the nurses in how well I recovered. No signs of OHSS and started to more much more like my normal fluidity. I think they though it was take longer cause I'm a bigger girl? Got home and took a 2 hour nap after eating lunch. Still feeling some soreness as they did part vaginal and part abdominal retrieval. I am sucking down the gatorade still, on my fourth 20 oz bottle since getting home around noon yesterday.
Ladies the almost immediate relief from getting those eggs out is amazing. I have a cautionary tale though. They doctor's note says they want you on a stool softener before the procedure. I'm never taking a stool softener again until I seriously need it. I'm also taking a long nap since I was up and down like 5 or 6 times in the middle of the night. Bleh.
Going to get some protein in me this morning and having eggs and toast. : )
Good luck to all today and thank you for the positive wishes from everyone.
@Hoping10 - good luck tomorrow! how did the trigger shot go last night?
@rayoflight80 - so sorry. sounds like you have a good plan. take care of yourself this weekend!
AFM, i stopped the BCPs yesterday! Baseline ultrasound and blood work is at 7 am Sunday morning, so keeping myself busy so it'll come quickly! No real plans for the weekend, so DH and I might go to the movies tomorrow and grab a nice dinner (it's rare when he doesn't have to work a 24 hour shift on either Saturday or Sunday!) Anyone else have any fun weekend things planned?
Had an ultrasound this morning to check progress - I had 4 measurable follies (a 15, 13, 13, 12) and 7 other potential ones that may or not perk up. RE said she hopes we get six but to be prepared for 3-4. I started cetrotide this morning and I'm just waiting on my bloodwork results to see if I have to go back tomorrow and/or Sunday
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
@caseyw8784 Trigger went well. I iced both spots before injecting since my stomach has gotten pretty sensitive. Had period like cramps this morning and my lower back has been hurting. Other than that, ready to go tomorrow morning.
Me: 31
DH: 34
Ttc since 11/15
Unexplained infertility
IUI #1: 11/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #2: 12/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #3: 1/17. Letrazole and ovidrel BFN
IVF: 2/25 10 eggs retrieved, 9 fertilized, 7 embryos frozen, 7 embryos normal PGS/PGD results
FET #1: 3/22 CP
Hysteroscopy: 5/8 polyp removal
FET#2: 5/31 ??
@stella_700 12 is great! Hoping for a wonderful fertilization report!
I am now 4 days past my 5 day transfer and the last couple days I have finally felt like myself again, my swelling is mostly gone and just feel good knowing that I have two little peanuts in there hopefully doing their thing! I felt like a sort of pinching feeling and slight cramping today and wondered if maybe they could possibly be implanting! Crazy to think!
After posting about whether monitoring your estradiol and progesterone levels during the 2 week wait is the norm I decided to call my doctor. They said it wasn't their protocol but I could come in for blood work if I wanted. So I went in yesterday and they called me today and said my progesterone was a little low so the bumped up my nightly shot dosage. So crazy that they don't normally check! So glad I asked!
Praying there is a lot of good news here in the next few weeks!
Just a little heads up/PSA...I'm not sure if it's at all the stores, or just the ones here in the Boston area, but I just got back from Destination Maternity (I'm very sensitive with hormones so I know the bloat is going to be real once I start stims so I wanted to pick up a couple new pairs of leggings/lounge pants!) and they were having a BOGO sale for their Motherhood line of leggings!
Had my 2nd ultrasound today. They said everything is looking great. I had 4 follies on my left & 8 on the right that were measurable. hope it keeps up or I get a few more. Not sure how likely that is, but I'll take 12!
TTC: April 2013
DOR: AMH .3 - 1.31 (it varies); FSH: 5.1
Clinic NMCSD
IUI #1 July/Aug 2016
IVF #1 Sep/Oct Microdose Lupron Protocol - IVF cancelled only 1 follicle
IVF #2 Feb/Mar Antagonist protocol w/estrogen priming - 0 eggs retrieved (empty follicle syndrome)
Donor Egg Cycle as soon as we find a match
Me: 31
DH: 34
Ttc since 11/15
Unexplained infertility
IUI #1: 11/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #2: 12/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #3: 1/17. Letrazole and ovidrel BFN
IVF: 2/25 10 eggs retrieved, 9 fertilized, 7 embryos frozen, 7 embryos normal PGS/PGD results
FET #1: 3/22 CP
Hysteroscopy: 5/8 polyp removal
FET#2: 5/31 ??
@lizycs we are also doing the genetic testing OOP as well for those reasons. I ended up taking the money from 401k to do so but I'm confident with that decision for the reasons you mentioned above
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
Me: 31
DH: 34
Ttc since 11/15
Unexplained infertility
IUI #1: 11/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #2: 12/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #3: 1/17. Letrazole and ovidrel BFN
IVF: 2/25 10 eggs retrieved, 9 fertilized, 7 embryos frozen, 7 embryos normal PGS/PGD results
FET #1: 3/22 CP
Hysteroscopy: 5/8 polyp removal
FET#2: 5/31 ??
BFP #2: 4.14.16 CP: 4.17.16
BFP #3: 6.10.2016 CP: 6.17.16
RE appt: 6.27.2016- saline sono all clear
Progenity: + carrier Tay-Sachs, Gaucher's, hemachromatosis. DH: carrier Alpha 1 anti-trypsin
PCOS, hypothyroid, MTHFR, hx of LEEP in 2006
Clomid + TI Cycle #1: 50mg Trigger 8.24.2016- BFN
Clomid 75mg + IUI#1 9.25.2016- BFP #4 10/6
Beta #1 15 Beta #2 38 Beta #3- 71 beta #4 171 Beta # 5- 21 Natural MC 10/21
HSG- clear
IVF Jan 2017
Egg Retrieval 1.22.17: 32 eggs retrieved,29 mature, 24 fertilized, 14 to blastocyst for biopsy
PGS results: 4 PGS normal 2 XX, 2 XY
FET: 3.13.2017 for 2 PGS embryos
Beta#1: 3.24.2017......... 78; Beta # 2 241; Beta #3 4198
Baby BOY due 11.29.2017
We are doing both PGS and PGD: PGD testing for a genetic disorder that I have a 50% chance of passing on, and PGS because, why go through the whole PGD testing to only have one not implant cause of chromosomal issues?
Glad you guys ended up choosing to do it, and hopefully avoid the heartache of the 3 abnormal ones not implanting!!
ER: We had 18 follies, 11 mature eggs, and all initially fertilized. We got down to only 2 that made it to 500+ cells and PGS testing revealed only one normal embryo. We have since started estradiol valerate, dexamethasone, and baby aspirin. Anyone else being put on steroids? We had a failed round of IVF last year, so we haven't made it to this point yet and curious what others are going through. FX for everyone!
Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism
Failed IVF round in 2016 - 6 mature eggs, 0 normal embryos on PGS testing
2nd round IVF started Jan 2017 ER - 11 mature eggs, 11 fertilized, ONE normal embryo
@Marley629 glad you're feeling more hopeful, it definitely sounds like you're making nice progress. And sometimes those smaller ones catch up quickly, at least some did for me.
@kenneyjn sorry you weren't feeling well, but all you need is one good embryo! I'm set to go on steroids after the ER, I believe it's supposed to reduce inflammation and help with implantation.
After 3 days of being told "just one more day of stims" I am finally ready to trigger tonight! I'm excited to take the next step, but my nurse kind of scared me about the HCG shot. I was planning on doing it myself but she said, "It's a big needle..." and suggested my husband should do it. Just curious, for those who've already done ER, would you suggest administering yourself or having DH do it?
10/16-12/16 -3 IUI, all BFN
2/17 IVF #1 froze 5 five day blasts
5/17 FET#1 BFN
6/17 FET #2 BFP
3 mature follies at scan today..and some lagging so I hope they catch up. My estrogen is 718 so they are pushing me one more day with meds and I go in tomorrow for another scan and bloodwork and most likely will trigger tomorrow night with retrieval on Wed!
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
@kennyjn I am going to be taking steroids before they transfer next cycle (medrol).
I received my fertilization report- out of 10 retrieved, 9 were inseminated and there are 8 ongoing embryos. I'll take it
Me: 31
DH: 34
Ttc since 11/15
Unexplained infertility
IUI #1: 11/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #2: 12/16. Clomid and ovidrel BFN
IUI #3: 1/17. Letrazole and ovidrel BFN
IVF: 2/25 10 eggs retrieved, 9 fertilized, 7 embryos frozen, 7 embryos normal PGS/PGD results
FET #1: 3/22 CP
Hysteroscopy: 5/8 polyp removal
FET#2: 5/31 ??
@brela11 when is your ultrasound?? Hope it goes/went well!
@krenee124 hoping it's too early girl! Sending you positive vibes!!