@satsumasandlemons But no one was discussing numbers. Without stating your height and starting weight it's all so vague saying you've gained 5lbs (or whatever it is) means nothing. I'm sorry if it was a trigger for someone, but if I was sensitive about weight, I don't think I would be clicking on a thread with weight gain in the title. But it's not a big deal, a TW was added and hopefully no one else will be triggered by clicking it on accident thinking it was something else.
My husband is a personal trainer so I guess I'm just used to everyone around me talking about weight all the time.
I was looking through old pictures, and found one of myself at 28-29 weeks last pregnancy. I swear my bump is nearly the same right now at 19 weeks. It's so weird how different it is the second time!
Sorry but I think threads like this are really counterproductive. I think talking about health, food, excercise, etc during pregnancy is really important and totally deserves it's own thread. But, this is just a thread of people listing their weight without actually taking into account other extremely important factors (height, BMI, age, etc). I've already seen a couple people (including the OP) admit to being jealous of other people's lack of weight gain.. so, how is it good or helpful for each of us to be comparing our numbers?? It really seems to just be a subject that opens people up for comparing themselves to others.
Sorry but I think threads like this are really counterproductive. I think talking about health, food, excercise, etc during pregnancy is really important and totally deserves it's own thread. But, this is just a thread of people listing their weight without actually taking into account other extremely important factors (height, BMI, age, etc). I've already seen a couple people including the OP admit to being jealous of other people's lack of weight gain.. so, how is it good or helpful for each of us to be comparing our numbers?? It really seems to just be a subject that opens people up for comparing themselves to others.
It is simply an interesting subject. I think BMI is a load of BS, at least for me. I am short, normally have a small waist and trim body, but huge boobs, do you know where that puts me BMI wise? That's right, overweight. Because boobs. I've actually been told by a doctor that I was too fat. Some people go by that religiously, I do not. Many of us have a goal, some of us eat vegan, some are omnivores. Some of use hit the gym everyday, and others prefer the couch. Regardless of those variations, we all are having different pregnancy weight gain experiences, and it can be fun and therapeutic to share. It wasn't meant to become a study with exact data.
@tripledaggerWed95976 I can see your point that pregnancy health is more important than weight gain. But there's a significant number of us who have participated in this thread and find the topic interesting. To me as a FTM, I like reading about the range of weight gain. It just gives me more information from real people. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it, you don't have to participate. But obviously there is some value here to a significant number of people.
Me: 31 DH: 31 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 CP 3/2019
@tripledaggerWed95976 I don't think anyone would disagree that pregnancy health is way more important than the number on the scale, and we can talk about that and create threads for it anytime, but this thread just happened to be about the number on the scale and it's pretty interesting to see the the variety. I don't see it as counterproductive at all.
@tripledaggerWed95976 I don't think anyone would disagree that pregnancy health is way more important than the number on the scale, and we can talk about that and create threads for it anytime, but this thread just happened to be about the number on the scale and it's pretty interesting to see the the variety. I don't see it as counterproductive at all.
Im glad you find it interesting- I'm not saying it's wrong to wonder about others weight gain. What I'm saying is; when more than one poster have already claimed to be jealous of other's lack of weight gain I just don't see how that is helpful or productive. In fact, it seems to be putting SOME people in the position of feeling that they have gained too much in comparison to others. So, while I'm glad that it didn't make you feel negatively in any way, all I'm saying is that threads like this have the potential to make SOME people feel badly
@tripledaggerWed95976 half of these discussions are comparing and contrasting our pregnancies and experiences. We compare symptoms, behaviors, deliveries, gear, confessions, unpopular opinions and many more things - obviously we talk light hearted things and also lend support but to say we can only talk "productive" things is ridiculous. There are health and fitness check-ins, green mom threads and anything else people want to discuss - to draw the line at talking about weight is arbitrary. And guess what, when the babies come we are sure as heck going to be comparing those experiences as well, including weight gain and loss for both Momma and baby. And no where in the post did it say anything about numbers, if moms put that in there it's because they were comfortable with it.
Dont want to talk weight, fine no one is forcing you. Talking about weight gain and other pregnancy related topics doesn't always have to be a "teaching moment". We can bitch and worry without having a greater purpose. Frankly if I wanted a lesson in eating, exercise or health I'd consult my doctor, this is a board of women to complain, vent, congratulate and support not a damn pamphlet.
@tripledaggerWed95976 I don't think anyone would disagree that pregnancy health is way more important than the number on the scale, and we can talk about that and create threads for it anytime, but this thread just happened to be about the number on the scale and it's pretty interesting to see the the variety. I don't see it as counterproductive at all.
Im glad you find it interesting- I'm not saying it's wrong to wonder about others weight gain. What I'm saying is; when more than one poster have already claimed to be jealous of other's lack of weight gain I just don't see how that is helpful or productive. In fact, it seems to be putting SOME people in the position of feeling that they have gained too much in comparison to others. So, while I'm glad that it didn't make you feel negatively in any way, all I'm saying is that threads like this have the potential to make SOME people feel badly
I really do not think it is the green monster type of jealousy, just the wishful type.
Why the trigger warning? The title says everything you need to know. If weight is a sensitive topic don't click - putting a "TW" in the title give no new information or warning.
I understand weight can can be a very sensitive issue but let's use common sense here. And frankly if anyone is sensitive to weight discussions I see it better to have a separate thread then put it on the weekly symptoms.
This. Also without knowing someone's height and actual weight it's also hard to compare anyway.
This is exactly why I don't understand the point of this thread. These numbers literally mean nothing to anyone else. I expected this thread to be a conversation about people who are concerned about weight gain for whatever reasons.
@tripledaggerWed95976 I understand what you're saying, but don't you think plenty of the topics of conversation here have the potential to make someone feel badly? I'm not picking a fight, I just think it's worth thinking about. I have to agree with @Dcwtada that not everything HAS to be positive and productive, and if someone is that sensitive about weight gain, they don't have to read a weight thread. This is a pregnancy forum, if someone wants to talk about their weight gain, there's no better place.
I'm sure this wasn't posted purposefully to upset anyone, but I agree with @MrsLa3 that a trigger warning of sorts might be helpful. I hesitated to read anyone's responses because weight is such a touchy subject for me, but then got sucked right in to the comparisons. I know each pregnancy is different, so it's crazy to compare... but I can't help it. I'm desperately trying not to make weight a focus for this pregnancy, as it was a big part of my pregnancy with DS. I do my best to stay (semi)active and make the best eating choices I can. Seriously happy for those of you who can discuss/compare weight with such casual ease
It was not meant to be malicious, and so I apologize if it was a trigger for you. I just try to eat as healthy as possible and not worry too much about my weight. I decided to adapt a casual attitude about it at the beginning as all I could keep down was carbs and not so healthy things.
Starting a thread to share your weight with the world and compare to everyone else just does not say "casual attitude" to me.
Dont want to talk weight, fine no one is forcing you. Talking about weight gain and other pregnancy related topics doesn't always have to be a "teaching moment". We can bitch and worry without having a greater purpose. Frankly if I wanted a lesson in eating, exercise or health I'd consult my doctor, this is a board of women to complain, vent, congratulate and support not a damn pamphlet.
This. I have nothing to add in the babymoon thread because quite frankly I can't afford one ATM. I'm sure many people can't afford the luxary of a babymoon. It would be limiting to ask those who feel comfortable discussing something not to. Everyone chose to write those numbers, and everyone can ask any weight related concerns too. It's really a personal choice.
I'm sure this wasn't posted purposefully to upset anyone, but I agree with @MrsLa3 that a trigger warning of sorts might be helpful. I hesitated to read anyone's responses because weight is such a touchy subject for me, but then got sucked right in to the comparisons. I know each pregnancy is different, so it's crazy to compare... but I can't help it. I'm desperately trying not to make weight a focus for this pregnancy, as it was a big part of my pregnancy with DS. I do my best to stay (semi)active and make the best eating choices I can. Seriously happy for those of you who can discuss/compare weight with such casual ease
It was not meant to be malicious, and so I apologize if it was a trigger for you. I just try to eat as healthy as possible and not worry too much about my weight. I decided to adapt a casual attitude about it at the beginning as all I could keep down was carbs and not so healthy things.
Starting a thread to share your weight with the world and compare to everyone else just does not say "casual attitude" to me.
Oh, so because I like to share, and and am curious about others and wanted to give them a place to share their concerns or truimphs, that automatically makes me what, concerned or ashamed? Oh okay. I'll get right on that.
I'm sure this wasn't posted purposefully to upset anyone, but I agree with @MrsLa3 that a trigger warning of sorts might be helpful. I hesitated to read anyone's responses because weight is such a touchy subject for me, but then got sucked right in to the comparisons. I know each pregnancy is different, so it's crazy to compare... but I can't help it. I'm desperately trying not to make weight a focus for this pregnancy, as it was a big part of my pregnancy with DS. I do my best to stay (semi)active and make the best eating choices I can. Seriously happy for those of you who can discuss/compare weight with such casual ease
It was not meant to be malicious, and so I apologize if it was a trigger for you. I just try to eat as healthy as possible and not worry too much about my weight. I decided to adapt a casual attitude about it at the beginning as all I could keep down was carbs and not so healthy things.
Starting a thread to share your weight with the world and compare to everyone else just does not say "casual attitude" to me.
Oh, so because I like to share, and and am curious about others and wanted to give them a place to share their concerns or truimphs, that automatically makes me what, concerned or ashamed? Oh okay. I'll get right on that.
There's nothing wrong with being concerned about weight. I never said you were ashamed, I'm not sure where you got that. I'm not sure what you mean by "I'll get right on that," since I never suggested that you do anything different. I'm just saying I don't understand this thread. I think you started backpedaling when people had something to say about it. So if you want some advice to "get right on," I suggest that if you are interested in your weight and other people's weight, just own it. I still don't get it, but you do you.
I for one don't actually want to talk about diet and exercise - in fact, it's one of the few threads I have never opened! I will however gladly sympathize with anyone else that has already had to go buy new underwear like me!
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
Hmmm, being casual and accepting of one's own weight doesn't mean that we cannot be interested in others experiences. If you do not understand the purpose of a thread, I get it. But when I don't understand the purpose of a thread, I just move on without commenting. Like I said, I was shocked at the number on the scale, but I am unconcerned, my baby is healthy and I am happy with that. I do not see that as back pedaling. Is it because I went back and put TW in the title? I did because it was kindly requested.
Meh, the thread is pretty self explanatory IMO. Participate or don't.
Anyhoo, at 21 weeks I'm up 17 pounds and proud of it! I'm growing a human damnit. With DS I gained 57 pounds, with DD I gained 40. It's just what my body does.
I for one don't actually want to talk about diet and exercise - in fact, it's one of the few threads I have never opened! I will however gladly sympathize with anyone else that has already had to go buy new underwear like me!
Hahah me ;( Im wearing spanx right now, I can't fit into pants that fit me four days ago and I was supposed to wear them to a party on Tuesday. Oh well. New undies on their way.
I for one don't actually want to talk about diet and exercise - in fact, it's one of the few threads I have never opened! I will however gladly sympathize with anyone else that has already had to go buy new underwear like me!
Hahah me ;( Im wearing spanx right now, I can't fit into pants that fit me four days ago and I was supposed to wear them to a party on Tuesday. Oh well. New undies on their way.
Haha, I wear a maidenform control camisole my whole pregnancy. It helps smooth things and support my bump. No shame
I for one don't actually want to talk about diet and exercise - in fact, it's one of the few threads I have never opened! I will however gladly sympathize with anyone else that has already had to go buy new underwear like me!
Hahah me ;( Im wearing spanx right now, I can't fit into pants that fit me four days ago and I was supposed to wear them to a party on Tuesday. Oh well. New undies on their way.
Oh man, that sounds painful! I don't want anything to hug me!
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
For some of us with a RCS, it actually is, though I plan on going to 40 weeks. And for others, they are at the halfway point.
For the majority an RCS is scheduled at 39 weeks. So 19 weeks would be half way, just saying.
For anyone else who thinks this thread doesn't need a trigger warning, I clicked on this thread to read something about a concern whether ir was OP or her OB and if anyone else has had this problem or whatever. Yall don't know my back story so ya'll wouldn't know that I had a LOT of trouble gaining weight with my previous pregnancies. I gained 16 with my first, and 36 with my second. However, I only gained 3 pounds until 30 weeks and gained 33 all within the last 9 weeks. I guess it just brought back there memories of everything I had to go through. So unless you've BTDT you wouldn't understand, so the general don't click or keep scrolling wouldn't apply here since the title of the thread was very vague. Because let's be honest "Weight gain at the half way point" doesn't give too much info.
hm I'm trying to decide where I fall on the "comparing weight is interesting" vs "this thread makes no sense" spectrum. I get that it can be a touchy subject for a lot of people. I do agree that just comparing the number of lbs gained tells us nothing. BMI, while not perfect, is probably the best metric, or alternatively something like height + pre pregnancy dress size, but even then what do you do with that info? Or is it more of a journal for you (general "you") to document where you are? I don't know. I can say that to read that most people in the thread gained less than me did bum me out a little (I'm pre pregnancy BMI 22/ size 4-6 and have gained 10 lbs at 18w5d). And then I realized I got bummed out by a bunch of random numbers that are completely taken out of context, and are or no relevance to me - and then that fact bummed me out a lot. So. I guess I vote for this thread is useless. But hey, if it helps you (again general "you"), carry on.
I feel like 90% of any posts on this app should have TW if we are being real. Nobody knows what a TW is for someone...since we are all Internet strangers. Hugs to anyone who was upset by this.
It was still a thread about weight, whether it was a concern or discussion I don't see the need for a trigger warning. If you have weight sensitivity you know clicking the thread it will be about weight in one way or another. Assuming the topic may be about a concern does not justify you complaining when it's a discussion.
I can't think of one woman that has not had weight issues on one side of the spectrum or the other, despite when or how it happens. Being able to discuss it is cathartic for some. I have triggers about certain things (they are not the norm, no one would think to "TW") and if I see one I go on my way. Censorship or stating the obvious, just in case, seems beyond ridiculous, but then perhaps I am in the minority. Wouldn't be the first time.
I gave a smart ass response without reason so heres my reason. I don't think it needs a TW because I don't think the thread should exist in the first place. As others has said, giving a general "I gained X lbs" means absolutely nothing without back story. We might as well start a thread about what color underwear we are currently wearing.
If someone is concerned about the weight they have gained (or lack thereof), that's a completely different story. But that's not the case here.
@Rae1 lucky for you we have the ever important and existential posts on pregnancy superstitions, dreams and what we are eating - thank goodness we are all chipping in our trigger warnings, back stories and underwear color on those threads to make them worthwhile.
@Rae1 lucky for you we have the ever important and existential posts on pregnancy superstitions, dreams and what we are eating - thank goodness we are all chipping in our trigger warnings, back stories and underwear color on those threads to make them worthwhile.
Those are for entertainment value. Does reading now much weight people have gained entertain anyone? Again, I just don't see the point in a thread full of random numbers.
Odd I counted more than 20 people that posted about their experience, apparently they saw a point. But please tell them there was no point again since they may have missed it the first time.
I can't believe I woke up to drama on this thread....
I'm sorry but if a bunch of strangers on the internet feel like it's okay to discuss how much they've gained and you can't resist the impulse to click on and read the entire thread, you shouldn't be on the internet. Who knows the next time someone would say something triggering in a thread that wasn't actually it's own entity that would set you off? Also, this isn't the only weight thread I've seen so I'm not understanding at all why all the sudden this one is getting this much heat. Don't like it, don't read it and move on. There are actually people on this board that are comfortable and want to discuss this topic.
And if you seriously don't think the superstition thread couldn't be as triggering as this one, you need to re-evaluate your thinking.
Better yet, better stay away from the big dumb questions thread if you've had trouble with nursing. There's a whole bunch of discussion there that might trigger someone.
Anyway, back to the topic. @kerils posted this link earlier in the month (https://www.calculator.net/pregnancy-weight-gain-calculator.html), where you can enter your height and weight, and it will break down your recommended weight gain by week. It does use BMI as a factor, so take that with a grain of salt. Also, keep in mind how much morning sickness you had. I think that for me, I'm a touch under where I "should" be because I was sick for a while. Also, I have definitely lost muscle mass, having been so sick and not working out enough, so that attributes to what my weight is right now. At least you can see then if you're close to on track. If not, then you can talk to your doctor. Bottom line, you know you, and this way you can see if where you are is ok, or needs to be watched.
I may be the minority, but I found this thread very comforting. I think I've posted before about my concerns over the weight gain associated with pregnancy, and I'm at the point now where my jeans are getting tight. Hearing of others who have similar insecurities and similar weight gains as myself somehow puts me at ease. I found out I'm right in the middle in comparison to others, which really does help me feel more "normal."
But, I also understand how any discussion of weight could be a trigger, especially for someone who has experienced difficulty with eating disorders in the past. Sadly, I don't have an answer or any real advice for those suffering, but if you are, you may have want to seek professional advice to get you through what could be a tough time. (Not directed at anyone. Just a general statement/genuine concern for others).
Re: *TW* Weight gain at the half way point
My husband is a personal trainer so I guess I'm just used to everyone around me talking about weight all the time.
I've already seen a couple people (including the OP) admit to being jealous of other people's lack of weight gain.. so, how is it good or helpful for each of us to be comparing our numbers?? It really seems to just be a subject that opens people up for comparing themselves to others.
CP 3/2019
Dont want to talk weight, fine no one is forcing you. Talking about weight gain and other pregnancy related topics doesn't always have to be a "teaching moment". We can bitch and worry without having a greater purpose. Frankly if I wanted a lesson in eating, exercise or health I'd consult my doctor, this is a board of women to complain, vent, congratulate and support not a damn pamphlet.
ETA words
I will however gladly sympathize with anyone else that has already had to go buy new underwear like me!
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
Anyhoo, at 21 weeks I'm up 17 pounds and proud of it! I'm growing a human damnit. With DS I gained 57 pounds, with DD I gained 40. It's just what my body does.
my happy boy
CP 3/2019
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
For anyone else who thinks this thread doesn't need a trigger warning, I clicked on this thread to read something about a concern whether ir was OP or her OB and if anyone else has had this problem or whatever. Yall don't know my back story so ya'll wouldn't know that I had a LOT of trouble gaining weight with my previous pregnancies. I gained 16 with my first, and 36 with my second. However, I only gained 3 pounds until 30 weeks and gained 33 all within the last 9 weeks. I guess it just brought back there memories of everything I had to go through. So unless you've BTDT you wouldn't understand, so the general don't click or keep scrolling wouldn't apply here since the title of the thread was very vague. Because let's be honest "Weight gain at the half way point" doesn't give too much info.
And thank you for putting a tw.
I get that it can be a touchy subject for a lot of people. I do agree that just comparing the number of lbs gained tells us nothing. BMI, while not perfect, is probably the best metric, or alternatively something like height + pre pregnancy dress size, but even then what do you do with that info? Or is it more of a journal for you (general "you") to document where you are? I don't know.
I can say that to read that most people in the thread gained less than me did bum me out a little (I'm pre pregnancy BMI 22/ size 4-6 and have gained 10 lbs at 18w5d). And then I realized I got bummed out by a bunch of random numbers that are completely taken out of context, and are or no relevance to me - and then that fact bummed me out a lot. So. I guess I vote for this thread is useless. But hey, if it helps you (again general "you"), carry on.
I can't think of one woman that has not had weight issues on one side of the spectrum or the other, despite when or how it happens. Being able to discuss it is cathartic for some. I have triggers about certain things (they are not the norm, no one would think to "TW") and if I see one I go on my way. Censorship or stating the obvious, just in case, seems beyond ridiculous, but then perhaps I am in the minority. Wouldn't be the first time.
If someone is concerned about the weight they have gained (or lack thereof), that's a completely different story. But that's not the case here.
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
Edited bc TB posted too soon
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
I'm sorry but if a bunch of strangers on the internet feel like it's okay to discuss how much they've gained and you can't resist the impulse to click on and read the entire thread, you shouldn't be on the internet. Who knows the next time someone would say something triggering in a thread that wasn't actually it's own entity that would set you off? Also, this isn't the only weight thread I've seen so I'm not understanding at all why all the sudden this one is getting this much heat. Don't like it, don't read it and move on. There are actually people on this board that are comfortable and want to discuss this topic.
And if you seriously don't think the superstition thread couldn't be as triggering as this one, you need to re-evaluate your thinking.
Edited for clarity
But, I also understand how any discussion of weight could be a trigger, especially for someone who has experienced difficulty with eating disorders in the past. Sadly, I don't have an answer or any real advice for those suffering, but if you are, you may have want to seek professional advice to get you through what could be a tough time. (Not directed at anyone. Just a general statement/genuine concern for others).