Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Old Wives Thread
I was like yep. That's how it works. And he finally came full circle with "I guess I can picture it, your hips have gotten wider so it'll probably be fine."
Thanks babe. Obviously, he's truly mastered the art of romance.
@jstringfellow19 anything I've heard/read says that orgasms will cause you to contract, and the contractions could potentially lead to labor... also if he leaves it in vs pulling out, the semen is supposed to have something it that helps soften the cervix.
Also encouraging-there is a big, sudden public event planned for today at 4:00 5 minutes from my delivery hospital that, combined with normal work traffic, promises to basically shut down the city traffic-wise and triple my H's afternoon commute. Really good time to hit active labor, right?
Also i want more of your birth story. Like all the juicy deets. I am hoping to have a earthy crunchy hippie birth at a hospital myself. I am in interested in all your thoughts and feelings, if you aren't too tired and care to share.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
I'm happy to share details- anything in particular you want to know?
I do think EPO orally helped make my cervix stretchy. I technically never got to 10cm...it was push at 9.5cm (minor lip left) with some help guiding or have a c section. The stretchiness of my cervix allowed a nurse to essentially push the lip out of the way as I pushed the baby.
in what ways was doula helpful aside from suggestion new position at end?
did you push in multiple positions?
how was H most helpful?
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
how did you handle pain during labor? transition?
I moved around a lot early on and that helped baby move from sunny side up to a better position. When they broke my water the contractions go so intense, so suddenly that it shook my whole body.
I handled the pain by vocalizing, relaxing my whole body, keeping the room dark/quiet, moving when I felt I needed to and trying different positions. I kept telling myself pain is good bc it is getting me to my baby.
Honestly, moaning through contractions helped me focus on relaxing my whole body. My Bradley Instructor (and doula- same person) told me that relaxing your body just lets it progress and helps your contractions. It helped with the pain too. i had practiced relaxation techniques by downloading the "calm app" which leads you through whole body relaxation. I was able to identify where I was holding tension and relax those muscles.
First I tried laying on my side, then the shower. I stood and leaned against H or the wall of the shower. I intoned during contractions. The warm water helped but I got over heated and threw up. I also got tired from standing so long so I knew we needed a new position. I tried a bunch of positions, they were terrible. Then we found the chair. I was able to actually sleep between some of the contractions there
The moaning, relaxation and Finding a position where I could relax between contractions is the only thing that got me through transition. Honestly, though, I didn't even know I was in transition because I dilated 4 cm in 2 hours... In retrospect it seems obvious- it was the only time I told H "I don't think I can do this."
He and my doula helped me through that by just being supportive and telling me how great I was doing. 20 min later I was at 9 cm. 10 min later I was pushing.
in what ways was doula helpful aside from suggestion new position at end?
Suggesting laboring positions, working with H to keep him calm (he has diagnosed anxiety disorder), rubbing my back, suggesting ways to have H help me, putting my hair in a pony tail, making me laugh, taking pictures of me and H while I labored. She also answered my questions, helped me think of questions (esp when we were considering breaking my water vs staying on a high dose of pit) and made me feel good about my decisions.
did you push in multiple positions?
yes. like @kswiger06 when they wanted to check me bc I "sounded like I was pushing" and I refused. I was getting sick of that nurse ;-( I told them i wasn't pushing bc getting on my back for those checks really made the contractions worse. But after 3 pushes I realized I was pushing and let them check me. Yay no cervix! I was shocked bc I had just been at 9cm and literally said "oh, thank god."
I started on hands and knees until the midwife could get there. She recommended I move to the squat bar to move the baby down. That felt so much better but was completely exhausting. I did that until she was crowning. My midwife put warm water and pressure on my perineum to prevent tearing. Then, when she was crowning they moved me to my side. Moving while pushing hurts <- possibly the understatement of the century. That was the only time I screamed. Everything else was gutteral/primal or intoning.
how was H most helpful?
H was my rock. He was always within arms reach. He literally held med up if I needed it. He kept me calm. He told me how strong I am and how proud of me he was. He was my biggest advocate-- like, when I was pushing there was a huge clock staring at me across the wall. I knew it would drive me crazy to know howblong I was pushing. So I asked that it be taken down. He climbed over medical equipment to rip itnoff the wall. And he sat behind me between pushes to help me relax. Him just being there made me feel better. And when Betty was born he was the first person I looked for. He was crying and so happy- it was awesome.
I love image of H climbing over things to take the clock down. The clock would likely drive me crazy also. It's like when I'm at the gym on the treadmill and somehow my eye finds the clock on the wall. I know then that I am screwed.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
Moving positions frequently was my saving grace for a shorter labor, every 40mins or so I'd switch it up, unless I was laboring in the birthing tub and I switched positions every other contraction. DH was a rockstar with putting pressure on my tailbone every time a rush would hit.
I hit 8cm in the tub and labored only another 15 mins before I got out and pushed. I was nearly crowning as I walked (i.e. Was dragged) to the bed, pushing was only 20 mins but I ended up doing it all on my back which surprised me because all my visualizations had me on all fours or squatting. That was also helpful for me because they brought me a mirror to watch the whole debacle and that was really motivating too. By the time it was time to push my body was naturally pushing anyways with every contraction so it seemed intuitive just to continue listening to my body and doing whatever it took. DH was really amazing, he had read the book "The Birthing Partner" so he became my defacto doula and he was spot on in his support. I highly recommend that book! Especially since I had read Ina May's 'Guide To Childbirth,' they pair together well.
@Xstatic3333 I hope your baby comes soon. Silly LO is way too comfy in there ;-)
Yes, tiny glasses of beer have also happened
8 days late seems pretty common! It's one reason I want to put off induction until 41+2, to give 41+1 a chance. My midwives are fine with this. They'd even let me go to 42, but I just don't have it in me.
@Gretchypoo don't give me too much credit, DH was basically body dragging me lmao, my feet were refusing to move past a drunk snails pace
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
EPO as lube got a hard no from H. He kind of hates that I'm taking it at all (very skeptical of anything homeopathic) but I do actually feel like my cervix may have relaxed a bit yesterday. I thought I had lost my MP a few days ago but a bit more arrived this morning. Postdates testing and choosing an induction date all goes down tomorrow. Mentally I'm a mess and I just want my baby.