@bumpadmin@BumpTara@BumpCaitlinPlease hear what we are saying. I can tell you that I would not have stayed on this board if it weren't for @adirat and @antoto. If you are looking for one-off clicks, then keep going the way you are going. But if you are looking for long term, returning users who start in TTGP and move on to other boards, then you are seriously shooting yourselves in the foot by jailing long time, supportive and contributing members. Not to mention all the hurtful, awful things that poster yesterday said.
I think it would also be beneficial if you could come on here and truly explain your process (instead of just a canned response) since If these two aren't able to come back, you are seriously risking losing some of your most regular users. I'm sure your advertisers would be less than thrilled. it seems like the "process" is inconsistent at best.
Yeah, that is completely ridiculous. And there is no consistency regarding warnings. I got a warning for saying something extremely tame to a drive by where nearly every other poster said the same or "worse." So I do believe it's totally arbitrary. Sorry but regular posters who actually contribute and support each other should not get their hands slapped for calling out obnoxious trolls and drive bys. These members are the ones who add value to this community, not the randoms who roll through, wreak havoc, and leave. We shouldn't have to worry about being warned or banned for sticking together and protecting our community.
Chiming in to show my support for these ladies. @adirat & @antoto are incredibly valued members who have provided a wealth of both insightful and supportive replies/posts over their time here. For the posting history of one of these members to vanish into thin air saddens me. I, too, would love clarity on the methods use to warn/jail/ban users because it all seem far too arbitrary for me.
I only discovered these boards about a week ago and I have already seen posts from @adirat that have been so knowledgeable and helpful to me as I am beginning this journey. Banning her and @antoto takes away some great resources of this community. Look at all the support from other members! Clearly, they are highly valued around here and I would agree with other posters that say you're at risk for losing members because of this ban. Again, as a new member, I would rather talk to other women about their experiences on a message board than read endless TTC articles.
I saw the thread yesterday. It was obvious that OP was only here to inflame others. It should have been shut down as soon as the c word was tossed out. But it wasn't. It continued so these bans are just completely unjustified.
Me:31 ~ DH: 28
Swiped Right: 6/2014 Married: 9/2016 TTC # 1: 11/2016 BFP: 5/2017 Baby Boy: 1/2018 Link to FF Charts
@bumpadmin please just let this go and don't keep @adirat and @antoto in "Bump jail". Why do you guys continue to keep threads open where the OP is being incredibly hurtful yet punish everyone else for standing up for themselves and others?
I missed all the fun yesterday, guys. I would have gladly taken a warning to stand up for you all. Being mocked for infertility is definitely NOT okay whether this person was a troll or not.
@adirat and @antoto are two of the kindest, most supportive, and active bump members I've come in contact with on my year and a half here on the bump! Neither of them should be in bump jail. That poster yesterday was blantantly and unapologetically hurtful toward everyone here and I feel that adirat and antoto actually showed great restraint in their posts!!! Please don't do this to them @bumpadmin@bumptara@bumpcaitlin
@antoto and @adirat are long time highly valued members of this community. Their support and advice have touched so many here. It is not right that they are banned. The thread that started all of this was allowed to go on for too long and many completely unacceptable things were said by the original poster of that thread. Our members were just defending each other. Please let them out of jail.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
And also hoping that this thread stays stays visible even if it's eventually closed. Too many threads recently just disappear into thin air without warning, explanation, or sometimes even a clear reason. It's suspicious, so for transparency sake, i'd feel better if this was left up.
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
Has anyone ever actually seen admin post on a thread other than the typical copy and paste responses? I've only been messaged.
I have seen them actually respond without a canned response but it's been a long time. The last few years it seems like they only use their pre-written responses.
**TW**
Me: 30 DH:30 Together 2003, Married 2011 DD: July 2005 BFP: 4/10/16, MC: 5/20/16 BFP: 1/10/17, DD2: Sep 2017
WHY would you put loyal contributors in jail over a flipping troll?! That's just rewarding bad behavior! "Oh lets go stir up drama on the bump and get MEMBERS in trouble for defending the community" because that makes sense??
Signing too! @adirat and @antoto always made me feel welcome and even helping me without making me feel dumb. *TW* They truly supported me being here even with me not being a first time ttc-er. *endTW* this place is light and and not a dark place to be because of their quick witted and easy going behaviors. Free A2!!!
Even though I have no clue what happened, I cannot imagine a world where @antoto and @adirat deserve to be banned. No way, no how. If some asshole came in and threatened our community, I'm sure they got whatever they deserved. Come on @BumpAdmin, have some respect for long time members of this community.
Agreed with everything being said. I sent a message to the Admin account yesterday on this very topic. You really really really really need to look into your processes and make them more rational/predictable/etc.
You can't expect people to meet your expectations if your expectations and enforcements are not consistent.
--------
I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
I'm new to this board but was with my previous BMB for the whole stretch, and even though I'm sure things have changed... those trolls were looking for a fight and all posters did was defend their community. Why does that warrant punishment?
I sent my post in a private message to @BumpAdmin. I suggest flooding their inbox.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
I just am trying to understand where the rules are posted so that we can all ensure as a community that they are enforced fairly across the board. There seems to be quite a bit of confusion as to why these posters have been punished and why others weren't, and a discrepancy as to how the "punishment" is being doled out. How are we supposed to have order when it does not appear there is any sort of organization to how this board is run? What is the process here? posed to have order when it does not appear there is any sort of organization to how this board is run? What is the process here?
@BumpAdmin@BumpTara@BumpCaitlin I second what @hartmich said. The treatment of users on this board seems to be random and inconsistent. People can come in and be rude, purposely hurtful, and degrade the established community and it seems as if nothing is being done to them. However when an established member of the community points out that their behavior will not be tolerated here they are immediately punished.
In the stickied post at the top of the board it stated that threads will not be deleted so people can learn what will and will not be tolerated on this board. Yet posts seem to be disappearing like crazy and the number of posts from inconsiderate users has gone up.
Is the concern that you are trying to change the board rules and culture? Maybe there is a way that you can explain to us what the end goal here is and together between this community and the admins we can determine goals together with a plan on how to reach them.
Maybe one of the ladies that are established here and dedicated to this community could be a moderator. That person could then be in charge of this board and be responsible for it.
Me 30 DH 36 Married 9/26/15 TTC 2/10/17 - BFP 5/5/17 - EDD 1/11/18
Coming in to sign the petition. This is absurd. @adirat and @antoto are two members who have consistently contributed with knowledge and respect. There is no reason for either to be 'jailed'. Also why are their 'sentences' different? Why do some users get banned, some get jailed, some get warnings? I'm just so confused... Bring them back!!!!!!
All of this. Yesterday was really one for the record books.
It's pretty clear here where corporate stands in terms of creating a space for regs who need and give support unflinching vs. keeping a bunch of asshole randos in the pipeline. It's disgusting. They get to come here and outright MOCK in various and sundry ways people who may be struggling to concieve, and when we stand up for the integrity of our supposed safe haven, we're the ones who are punished.
Im not as active as some of these ladies and often miss drama on the board, but please hear me out. Obviously there have been times where tempers have shot up. Sometimes a member is having a bad day and a drive by sends them over the edge. And honestly- sometimes we are bitches. (I love you bitches) But what that woman said yesterday was uncalled for. Mocking women because they can't get KU but she can?If these boards are TRULY moderated/regulated.. then please do the job you signed up for. Moderate the boards. Be aware of the history of your users and the responses their given. Anyone who reads these threads knows that @antoto and @adirat are a huge part of this community. Support, knowledge, humor, etc.
For many of us, this board represents something that we don't have IRL. It's not exactly Sunday dinner material. I know for a fact That I wouldn't have any where near the knowledge I have now if it weren't for these boards. Please don't punish 2 members for doing exactly what an admin should be doing.
I went back several years ago, seems like the Bump has had issues like this in the past with inconsistent responses, warnings, user deletions, etc. Particularly in 2011-2012. It would not surprise me if they ignored this entire thread.
I'm going on a limb here but I am pretty sure they are simply in this to mine data from women for their own profit and gain from ad money or articles. Although I really enjoyed this community and am fairly new, I might actually just pop off.
People who run a muck get a free pass but contributing members who have been left to enforce rules and try to make the board consistent get banned.
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/683816 BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16 BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed. BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18 BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
@bumpadmin@bumptara@bumpcaitlin Nothing said by @adirat or @antoto yesterday comes close to some of the crap that has been thrown at ladies on this board and that the BGs seem to just ignore. It took entirely too long to shut things down yesterday. And the mocking of women struggling to conceive is still out there but everything @adirat has basically entirely disappeared from TB? I might be ok with valued members being jailed if everyone/everything was held to the same standard. But there really is no consistency here. If I were this inconsistent at my job, I'd be fired.
**TW**
Me & DH: 32 Married 2013 Kiddo #1: Sept 2015 BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
I'm with @Everycol0r - Bring back member mods. Obviously it would work better to have peers police these situations in the future. Especially since BGs can't even keep their heads straight on how many warnings someone has? Which seems pretty simple IMO?
Also tagging @BumpAdmin again since I see you've been on but haven't bothered to pay attention to an entire community section.
Bring back @adirat and @antoto - this is absurd! I read the thread in question yesterday and as someone who suffers from IF, I can't begin to tell you how disgusted I was by that troll. Banning her was where it should have ended.
As @hartmich pointed out above, of late it feels as though the "rules" are unfairly (and inconsistently) enforced and regular, contributing members are being banned. I personally reached out to @bumpadmin understand why one regular poster received a warning in July for using a gif flipping someone off, yet when a Sep board member called myself and fellow June posters "twats" and then used a gif to flip me off, you decided it was acceptable. @adirat and @antoto merely defended their fellow members of The Bump. I gained much from my time here (TTGP) thanks to those and other ladies here who don't deserve this unfair reaction.
Oh and just as yet another reminder... I'm still awaiting a response as to why that middle finger gif is acceptable from that sep member and seemingly no one else. Fair rule enforcement please! I guess in the meantime I can go around flipping off the trolls????
Do we need to use the flipping off gif directed toward the BGs to get a response or action?
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
I graduated from TTGP a few months ago, but this is absolutely ludicrous. @adirat and @antoto were always incredibly insightful when I posted, and I know that they continued to provide invaluable assistance even after I left. But unfortunately, I don't think that the Bump Admins care about their unfair practice of banning. This is not the first time that the Bump, the Knot, or the Nest have banned valuable, regularly contributing users in a seemingly arbitrary and ridiculous way. From the time that I started posting on The Knot several years ago until now, there's been several instances where unfair action on the part of the admins has led to mass exoduses of posters. It's almost as if the Admins do it to encourage fresh posters to increase their participation and feel welcome, even if the banned posters were innocent.
Re: Hey @bumpadmin
DD born: 3/31/19
Me: 36 DH: 41
@BumpTara
@BumpCaitlin
Chiming in to show my support for these ladies. @adirat & @antoto are incredibly valued members who have provided a wealth of both insightful and supportive replies/posts over their time here. For the posting history of one of these members to vanish into thin air saddens me. I, too, would love clarity on the methods use to warn/jail/ban users because it all seem far too arbitrary for me.
@BumpTara
@BumpCaitlin
Adding my voice in as well in support of the two ladies who were unfairly sent to jail.
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
I only discovered these boards about a week ago and I have already seen posts from @adirat that have been so knowledgeable and helpful to me as I am beginning this journey. Banning her and @antoto takes away some great resources of this community. Look at all the support from other members! Clearly, they are highly valued around here and I would agree with other posters that say you're at risk for losing members because of this ban. Again, as a new member, I would rather talk to other women about their experiences on a message board than read endless TTC articles.
I saw the thread yesterday. It was obvious that OP was only here to inflame others. It should have been shut down as soon as the c word was tossed out. But it wasn't. It continued so these bans are just completely unjustified.
Married: 9/2016
TTC # 1: 11/2016
BFP: 5/2017
Baby Boy: 1/2018
Link to FF Charts
I missed all the fun yesterday, guys. I would have gladly taken a warning to stand up for you all. Being mocked for infertility is definitely NOT okay whether this person was a troll or not.
Have some compassion BGs
@BumpTara
@BumpCaitlin
@BumpTara
@BumpCaitlin
signing
Me: 25 | DH: 25
DD: Aug. 15
@antoto and @adirat are long time highly valued members of this community. Their support and advice have touched so many here. It is not right that they are banned. The thread that started all of this was allowed to go on for too long and many completely unacceptable things were said by the original poster of that thread. Our members were just defending each other. Please let them out of jail.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@BumpCarley
Me: 25 | DH: 25
DD: Aug. 15
And also hoping that this thread stays stays visible even if it's eventually closed. Too many threads recently just disappear into thin air without warning, explanation, or sometimes even a clear reason. It's suspicious, so for transparency sake, i'd feel better if this was left up.
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@BumpJess
Me: 25 | DH: 25
DD: Aug. 15
Together 2003, Married 2011
DD: July 2005
BFP: 4/10/16, MC: 5/20/16
BFP: 1/10/17, DD2: Sep 2017
TTGP Dec '16 siggy challenge winner!
Free @antoto & @adirat!
@BumpTara
@BumpAdmin
@BumpCaitlin
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Free @antoto and @adirat !!!!
@BumpTara
@BumpMay
@BumpCaitlin
@BumpJess
@BumpAdmin
@BumpAdmin @BumpCaitlin @BumpCarley @BumpJackie @BumpMay @BumpTara
Me: 33 DH: 34
DS1: March 18, 2016
DS2: due June 7, 2018
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
Even though I have no clue what happened, I cannot imagine a world where @antoto and @adirat deserve to be banned. No way, no how. If some asshole came in and threatened our community, I'm sure they got whatever they deserved. Come on @BumpAdmin, have some respect for long time members of this community.
Agreed with everything being said. I sent a message to the Admin account yesterday on this very topic. You really really really really need to look into your processes and make them more rational/predictable/etc.
You can't expect people to meet your expectations if your expectations and enforcements are not consistent.
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
edited for spelling
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
I second what @hartmich said. The treatment of users on this board seems to be random and inconsistent. People can come in and be rude, purposely hurtful, and degrade the established community and it seems as if nothing is being done to them. However when an established member of the community points out that their behavior will not be tolerated here they are immediately punished.
In the stickied post at the top of the board it stated that threads will not be deleted so people can learn what will and will not be tolerated on this board. Yet posts seem to be disappearing like crazy and the number of posts from inconsiderate users has gone up.
Is the concern that you are trying to change the board rules and culture? Maybe there is a way that you can explain to us what the end goal here is and together between this community and the admins we can determine goals together with a plan on how to reach them.
Maybe one of the ladies that are established here and dedicated to this community could be a moderator. That person could then be in charge of this board and be responsible for it.
Married 9/26/15
TTC 2/10/17 - BFP 5/5/17 - EDD 1/11/18
@BumpCaitlin @BumpTara @BumpAdmin
Me: 28 DH: 35
Dx PCOS May 2015
Baby #1 due 12/7/17
Im not as active as some of these ladies and often miss drama on the board, but please hear me out. Obviously there have been times where tempers have shot up. Sometimes a member is having a bad day and a drive by sends them over the edge. And honestly- sometimes we are bitches. (I love you bitches) But what that woman said yesterday was uncalled for. Mocking women because they can't get KU but she can?If these boards are TRULY moderated/regulated.. then please do the job you signed up for. Moderate the boards. Be aware of the history of your users and the responses their given. Anyone who reads these threads knows that @antoto and @adirat are a huge part of this community. Support, knowledge, humor, etc.
For many of us, this board represents something that we don't have IRL. It's not exactly Sunday dinner material. I know for a fact That I wouldn't have any where near the knowledge I have now if it weren't for these boards. Please don't punish 2 members for doing exactly what an admin should be doing.
I'm going on a limb here but I am pretty sure they are simply in this to mine data from women for their own profit and gain from ad money or articles. Although I really enjoyed this community and am fairly new, I might actually just pop off.
People who run a muck get a free pass but contributing members who have been left to enforce rules and try to make the board consistent get banned.
@adirat & @antoto are truly wonderful members of The Bump community, please let them come back!
@BumpCaitlin @BumpAdmin @BumpTara
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
Married 2013
Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
Especially since BGs can't even keep their heads straight on how many warnings someone has? Which seems pretty simple IMO?
Also tagging @BumpAdmin again since I see you've been on but haven't bothered to pay attention to an entire community section.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Signing petition. OP yesterday was beyond cruel to these valuable members @adirat and @antoto
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
@BumpAdmin
Bring back @adirat and @antoto - this is absurd! I read the thread in question yesterday and as someone who suffers from IF, I can't begin to tell you how disgusted I was by that troll. Banning her was where it should have ended.
As @hartmich pointed out above, of late it feels as though the "rules" are unfairly (and inconsistently) enforced and regular, contributing members are being banned. I personally reached out to @bumpadmin understand why one regular poster received a warning in July for using a gif flipping someone off, yet when a Sep board member called myself and fellow June posters "twats" and then used a gif to flip me off, you decided it was acceptable. @adirat and @antoto merely defended their fellow members of The Bump. I gained much from my time here (TTGP) thanks to those and other ladies here who don't deserve this unfair reaction.
Oh and just as yet another reminder... I'm still awaiting a response as to why that middle finger gif is acceptable from that sep member and seemingly no one else. Fair rule enforcement please! I guess in the meantime I can go around flipping off the trolls????
A response to any of the number of questions here would be greatly appreciated.
DD born: 3/31/19
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18