Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Baby Name Choices & Discussion!
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
I'm a big fan of family names. I like a name that has roots.
We're thinking about the following girl names:
- Merritt Elise
- Merritt Rose
- Lillian Merritt
Merritt is MIL's maiden name. Elise is my mom's name. Rose is my grandma's middle name.
For a boy:
- Parker (not sure about middle name)
My grandma's maiden name.
- Steven (not sure about middle name)
DH's deceased uncle that FIL was very close.
@joecapeles We are going with Julian too! Right now though we are thinking his mn will be Lodi, after my favorite dog
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
@joecapeles you could use JJ as a nickname if you're into that!
I love Frankie, Lenny and Lou as first names. Thinking I want a two syllable first name so Lou could be a likely middle name.
Partner hates Frankie which has been a fav of mine since before I was pregnant, but we are in the seemingly common situation of partner shutting down names but has yet to suggest one. He's come around on Lenny but prefers the spelling Leni and I'm not a fan of that.
@laurapalmier: I highly suggest you stick with what you like! Those name choices are different but they're not "weird" or "out there" or any sort of made-up names (like, you-neek!). Are you thinking of something like Louise nn Lou?
Also, I'm firmly planted in the camp of Don't tell anyone the names you're considering (beyond your mate) because humans like to be contrary and have something to complain about, lol, and will always find some downside to your name options. I mean people in your real life---definitely take them for a spin here, though, and people will be honest! With our son, we introduced him after he was born, with his name, which we actually only decided after he was born, and people can't/shouldn't complain about a baby's name when they meet him.
@Bear0408: A suggestion that's been given on this thread before (that you might have already read): Give your hubbs a list of the SSA top 1000 names from last year (a printout or send him the link) and ask him to circle or write down his top 20. You can see if any of yours and his match, and go from there in narrowing the field. Or, if he picks 20 that are completely off the table for you, at least you have a starting point at which to see where he's coming from in terms of styles of names, and chat from that point forward. Good luck!
@laurapalmierI love the spelling Leni (I feel like it's a bit more feminine)
@Bear0408 I feel the exact same way about DH. He has suggested a few names that I liked when they were first suggested but for one reason or another have decided against and he is totally set on them. We've decided to stop discussing the name for a little while.
@joecapeles I like Julian Joseph; might suggest Michael or Andrew. not very good with the name thing. best of luck and I really like the first name
@Bear0408 good luck!!! like PP definitely make a list for him to look at and maybe ask for one also. I love the idea of family names, so maybe make your list and put some combinations together for him to test the flow and sound.
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
Also I think we have a name but it's not certain and I don't think we will tell family. Sloane Katherine. It was my favorite for years and I'm really surprised he is on board.
May '17 labor memes
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
@clebl24 , I love Merritt as a first name! I think Lillian is super pretty, too, but definitely more common.
For those still battling with DH on names, we went through a period where he just seemed "eh..." on every name I suggested. So I just stopped suggesting names, told him what my top choice was, and asked him to live with it mentally for a few weeks. After the few weeks was up, I sent him the SSA list and told him to let me know if anything jumped out at him because I was done spinning my wheels. Lo and behold, we ended up with my top choice in names!
We have full on released baby girl's name and if feels SO GOOD. With my son, we only told a few people (close friends and family) and I think, because they didn't think it was "finalized" we got a lot of contrary opinions. I guess it's probably because it was usually phrased like "we're pretty sure we're going with Sullivan", which would frequently be met with "but what other names are you considering..." So, when he was born and we actually had to release the name to everyone else, it felt a little awkward. Like, I was suddenly unsure about it because of all of the comments, but not because I loved it any less. Anyway...this go around, we've told anyone that's asked that we are naming her Estelle and I think because it seems more "final", ZERO negative comments! Not like I would care anyway...
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
everyone does it make so final! But it DOES feel so good, like people will stop bothering you!
With DD1 we released it pretty much as soon as we knew she was a girl because we had already decided her name was Halle after my grandpa Hal. So we wanted to be able to tell him and I didn't care what anyone's opinion was on the name! With DD2 it took us a little while longer to release the name and once we decided on Paige I think we only told immediate family/friends and then released it fully when she arrived.
This time, EVERYONE has an opinion and it's driving me nuts. We always do a middle name after a family member so I think people are a little
anxious to see who it will be since DD1 and DD2 were both my side of the family. We have told people that we have a middle name picked out and we have a pretty small list of first names but we aren't telling them until we decide. I really don't want DHs opinion swayed by his mother and she won't hold back on opinions!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Lennon Grace is so cute as is!
For a boy I vote Henry James! But at least you have the first name nailed down!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
And that's why picking a boy name is SO hard. Lol
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
M we did however find out that her second middle name was actually added as her last name when trying to do our taxes. So I have to legally have her name changed. We still fill everything out with how her name is supposed to be and don't use the second middle name.