Baby blues and PPD are real. And breastfeeding is damn hard work. Don't beat yourself up if all doesn't go perfectly or according to plan and don't be afraid to talk to someone, anyone about any bad feelings you might have. I only realized later on that what I thought was really bad baby blues wasn't probably PPD. Mix a roller coaster of hormones and emotions with broken little sleep and it's a recipe. You'll all be the best mommas you can be.
Edited to add I didn't see the above comment but it goes to show how common it is!
Double posting to second this. PPD and PPA are absolutely no joke.
@Mango517 don't let other's feelings stop you from doing what you want. The whole event is stressful enough and the first few moments with you baby will be some of the most precious and memorable times. We didn't tell anyone we were in labor because I slept through most of it. I woke up to serious contractions and baby was born two hours later so we didn't really have time. BUT I do wish that we had waited to tell my fil until we were actually ready to see him. We were enjoying our first few hours with our son doing skin to skin and low and behold fil comes busting in to the room unannounced. I was fuming for the rest of the morning. I hadn't even been up to go to the bathroom yet and was definitely not ready for visitors. Good luck with whatever you decide. People will get over it eventually if they have a hard time accepting it at first. We didn't get any questions about the timing of our calls to family tho.
@littlebug2010 Do you have risk factors other than being overweight that your Dr thinks you need a glucose test that early? I was slightly overweight with my DS, and had my glucose test around 24w I think, which is normal. I only would have done the 3h if I didn't pass the 1h test.
Have you had blood draws already? If you did, maybe you already have elevated glucose levels, or they saw glucose when they tested your urine. It's definitely better to know early if they have reason to suspect you have GD, but otherwise I would ask why the Dr wants you to test so soon.
No advice on how to not feel ill, I didn't have much in the way of side effects. I think it's the equivalent of a really sugary soda, it's more that you have to drink it all within five minutes that's gross.
@ColoradoHiker I didn't have anything odd in any of my blood draws or urine. That's why I thought it was odd. Maybe it's just this office policy. But I did feel it was early. I guess I'm worried that I'll be fine for the tests but then something might change further along and I won't know!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
How soon should you pack a hospital bag and what items are must haves?
Comfy pants, a nursing tank, underwear, flip flops, phone charger, beer or wine, coming home outfit, toothbrush jic hospital doesn't provide. Maybe concealer for some post birth photos lol
I packed mine that morning before heading in. I also packed a ton of crap I didn't need, like pillows and towels and toiletries.
@Kathryn0903 Although all the breastfeeding literature will tell you to wait, I would NOT have survived the hospital without bringing a pacifier. My daughter was great at breastfeeding from the start but she was really fussy during the night even no matter how much she ate. It gave me so much anxiety as a new mom. The pacifier gave me 5 min of freedom to use the restroom or take a deep breath without her crying (or me crying!) Every cry at the beginning makes you a hormonal mess because you think you're doing something wrong or they are hurt.
Now obviously you'd want to use good judgement and if the baby wasn't catching on to breastfeeding quickly then probably best not to confuse them with a pacifier. But for me it was a LIFESAVER.
@Kathryn0903 to answer some of your questions, I had a C-section I was out of work for 8 wks. That is what my doctor said. I also knew I wanted to strictly formula feed, the nurses were really nice about, they never pressured me into trying BF first. However I got pressure from family members to BF, but I held my ground and told them no I don't want to. And they eventually backed off.
My advice for FTM who end up having a c-section, after the baby is out and they are putting you back together, you get extremely cold, and sometimes uncontrollable shakes. And your scar can and most likely will be numb/tinglely for a year.
How soon should you pack a hospital bag and what items are must haves?
Depends on your pregnancy. I had mine packed at 34 weeks because the OB said I could go early and was still messing with it 5 minutes before we left for the hospital at 40+3. Call the L&D ward about what to pack because you need to know what they supply before you start tossing stuff in. Mine didn't even supply the first diaper for DS.
@Kathryn0903 Hey there, i am a FTM too! I am about 9w1d now and i have made a checklist already of what to pack and what the baby and hubby should have in there bags. I know i will do all the packing. I did that so i could buy everything in a ore organized matter and start buying now. I plant to have all bags ready at 30 weeks and carry it with me everytime i have an appointment. I know it might sound crazy but i have heard family members stories of not coming back home from dr. Appointment bc they were already dilated at 32 weeks. I know the hospital gives you a lot i just want to be prepared
Experienced moms, i have read a lot of sad threads about absence of babys heartbeat on ultrasounds.
For mom that have experienced this unfortunate situation, i have a couple of questions... If you dont mind.
1. Did it happened on first visit/first ultrasound, or on second ultrasound a bit down the line 2. Did you feel any different, absence of pregnancy symptoms perhaps 3.what happens then? What is the next step.
I really hope and wish no one has ever to experience a loss. But i am curious/frightened i read the chances of miscarriage are as low as 20% but about 3 mom have experienced it in the past week or so and have posted their goodbyes here in the community. Anyone care to share?
@Kathryn0903 to answer some of your questions, I had a C-section I was out of work for 8 wks. That is what my doctor said. I also knew I wanted to strictly formula feed, the nurses were really nice about, they never pressured me into trying BF first. However I got pressure from family members to BF, but I held my ground and told them no I don't want to. And they eventually backed off.
My advice for FTM who end up having a c-section, after the baby is out and they are putting you back together, you get extremely cold, and sometimes uncontrollable shakes. And your scar can and most likely will be numb/tinglely for a year.
@andressab this is only from my personal experience, I'm sure every mother who has suffered a loss has a different story.
1. Did it happened on first visit/first ultrasound, or on second ultrasound a bit down the line: Yes, it was on the first visit and ultrasound. I was 7 weeks at my first appt. 2. Did you feel any different, absence of pregnancy symptoms perhaps. I had started spotting a few days before my appt and noticed that my breast tenderness had subsided. 3.what happens then? What is the next step. Honestly it was the most devastating thing I've been through in my entire life and still affects me today. After the dr didn't see a heartbeat she sent me for blood work to check my HCG levels. My HCG levels were already dropping and I was told I had the choice of getting a D&C or waiting to have a natural miscarriage. I decided to wait and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. After you have a miscarriage you still have to get blood work until your levels reach 0
@andressab I cant answer all of your questions but I can answer a few
First and foremost, there is really nothing you can do to avoid a miscarriage. So as much as you can just know you are pregnant now, and thats all you can really do. As someone who had a loss, I have to tell myself that every day.
Sorry these are long: 1. Did it happened on first visit/first ultrasound, or on second ultrasound a bit down the line: I never had an US. I just started bleeding really heavy and it happened very fast. I got an US when I went in that day to confirm, and I had a complete MC, so the US tech even asked me if I was sure I was pregnant, which made me cry uncontrollably. And then she looked for my ovaries and tried to get as good of a look at my tubes as possible, to ensure there wasn't any tissue left, and that it wasn't ectopic. 2. Did you feel any different, absence of pregnancy symptoms perhaps: Looking back and comparing it to this pregnancy, yes I lost symptoms. My MC was at 9 weeks, but by 7 weeks, my breasts weren't sore, and I never had any food issues, and my energy came back. I was/am a FTM so I didn't realize it when It was happening. I also had a moment of extreme light headedness at about 7 weeks and brushed it off as more blood or something. But it turned out that it was very possibly part of the pregnancy terminating. My OB said that It could have been a rush of hormones and my body recognizing something to be wrong. But She also assured me that if I was light headed when I got pregnant again, that it is a normal symptom, and to not worry unless its coupled with loss of other symptoms. 3.what happens then? What is the next step. It was totally natural for me. Nothing left by the time I was at the doctor. I can actually remember passing it, in my own bathroom. I didn't look at it, but I clearly felt it, and it happened a second time right after that too, and i just knew. At the OB I was given the option to have a D&C if I wanted, to make 100% sure that I had passed it all, but that I could just go with blood tests, and as long as my HCG dropped I was good. I chose that method, and within a week I was at 0.
Please know that this is something that is different for everyone as well, but if knowing our stories will help you feel better then thats fine.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Im about 8 weeks now. Does it get better? I feel like breaking down and crawling up into fetus position. Im worried that the way i have been feeling doesnt allo my baby to feel loved by me. I have been wishing for my 40 weeks to just come! So i can not be pregnant and have my baby! We decided not to have the cvs testing done bc we wouldnt terminate the pregnancy anyways, and also bc jnowing that something was wrong with my baby would make me even more stressed out. Does it ever stop? I mean the sickness, the worry? The stress? Does it go away at any point of your pregnancy so you can actually enjoy being pregnant? Or is that just a dream?
Hang in there, @andressab! The first trimester can be exhausting! Yes, yes, yes you can expect the sickness and exhaustion to lessen in the next few weeks. (Not guaranteed, but very likely.)You will love your little baby so much. The worrying? Well, you're about to be a mom, so the worrying is never completely out of the picture, but you don't need to make yourself crazy with it. Second trimester was fun-- I got my energy back and had my cute baby bump. Third trimester I got bigger, but wasn't terribly uncomfortable until the last week or two.
IvorySoapGirl
- Forest Hills, NY
Me: 40 DH: 40 Married May 2012 DD born Sep 2013 MC Feb 2017 11w2d CP May 2017 5w MC Oct 2017 6w BFP Dec 2017 EDD 8/15/18
Once your hospital bag is packed do not, I repeat, do not unpack that sucker. OB told me 1 1/2 days before water breaking baby wasn't anywhere near coming and would be probably another 10-14 days before showing up. I decided to wear the some of the clothes in my bag for variety and ended up removing the camera to take pictures at the Holidays. There are very few pics of when my son was born. We had a family member pick up the camera later, but they forgot to give it to us until we were home from the hospital. Thank God for cell phones. Incidentally, I was also stuffing in clothing items as we were leaving for the hospital. I went to hospital without hairbrush, toothbrush, make-up, etc. Ewww. Thankfully, my sis brought some essentials, but really...Do not unpack that bag!
Slip on shoes and grippy socks are also a must. Thought my feet would fit into my Uggs/ slippers after birth and they didn't. My feet were so swollen I had to use my "old lady" housework white slip on sneakers because they werw the only shoes my feet would fit into. So glad I can wear flip flops this time.
@britvahok and @littlebug2010 thank you so much for sharing! I can only imagine how hard it must have been! To be honest it was a relieve to know that you can actually feel a mc happening. That way you can try to do something about it. I guess, i dont know. I have an appointment on friday, and believe me when i say that i have every symptom and that this will be my second ultrasound but still it is a bit frightening.
Yes for the slippers, @Lauradi1010, my son was a June baby and the last couple months all I could wear was flip flops, fortunately my work didn't care. For the hospital I got some really comfy flip flop style slippers at target. They were great to slip on when going to the bathroom or when I finally got to get up and walk around. I also recommend bringing some of your own pauamas/gowns. I got some cute ones that had button up tops off the clearance rack at Macy's that were great for nursing . I had a c section and was there Monday through Wednesday. I also got a big pack of granny panties from target with high waists. It took about 5 or 6 months before I could stand anything low rise because it aggravated the incision site. Pull on skirts and palazzo pants were great, too. I also took a thin, cotton robe, one of those waffle looking ones.
If you bring your own pillow, get a pillow case with a color or pattern so it doesn't get mixed in with the hospital pillows.
As far as for baby, I only brought an outfit for him to come home in, they supplied tee shirts and socks for him. I know a lot of people bring footie pajamas, but they can't wear them with the ankle monitor the hospital puts on them.
One good tip, when doing your hospital tour, ask if the delivery room and recovery room are the same or different. Some recommend bringing one bag for the delivery room and then leaving a recovery bag in the car for someone to get once you're settled in the recovery room.
Bring chapstick, my lips got so chapped, I took a ton of Carmex. Instead of regular shampoo, I took a shower cap and dry shampoo so I didn't have to wash, blow-dry, and straighten. Those little makeup wipes are great when you can't get out of bed need to wash your face. Just that and brushing my teeth made me feel like a new woman.
@andressab yes you can feel signs but like I said, mine went away but I didn't notice it until later on. Not to mention as you go on in your pregnancy some symptoms will go away naturally. Like my boobs aren't sore now and haven't been for a few weeks, but I'm still good. Also there isn't anything you can do if you are going to miscarry. Even if you get to the doctors before you pass it, there is nothing they can do. Not to make you feel out of control, but unfortunately that's how it works. Just know that right now your pregnant and the closer you get to the second tri the better and once you hit it the chances of miscarriage go down a lot!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
I think we need to have a separate "what to pack for the hospital" thread as we get into June! There are great tips here (like dry shampoo and makeup wipes) that I'd never think of nor will remember come summer
Man, I'm loving this thread!! Just spent the first half of my work day reading it all!! lol. Thank you ladies for taking the time to answer all of our questions!! Before I was pregnant, I was so ready. I could spit out information about anything pregnancy and baby related. I've babysat and kept so many kids/babies that it just comes naturally to me. But since the moment I saw that second line, my mind went completely blank and I am nothing but anxiety!
When you head back to work after maternity leave, plan for your first week back to NOT be a full week and start midweek or end of the week. Trying to come back to work cold turkey a full week after being home every hour for months with your newborn is TOUGH!
I started my first week back after my son was 3 months old, on a Wednesday. Also I did half days those 3 days back. Then the following week I was able to transition.
Also, if you plan to pump at work, put it on your calendar so that people can't schedule events/meetings during your pump time. If you don't keep to a regular schedule for pumping, you may see a decline in your supply. If you're in a meeting and it's time to go pump, don't feel bad to excuse yourself.
Was very thankful I have a manager who is family oriented and understood my needs. Having the discussion with your manager before you leave for maternity leave is always helpful.
How did all you STMs handle visitors after baby came home? DH's family is overseas and they've already asked us twice how early they can come after LO arrives.. They want to stay with us for at least 2 weeks (6 people total) and it is majorly stressing me out. They are great to be around, but I'm worried it will be awkward trying to BF, get into a routine, etc.. not to mention disrupt our family bonding time. Ahh! How did you guys handle? Anyone have out of town visitors that stayed for an extended period of time?
With our first we decided only immediate family at the hospital, then the first few days at home. It worked well for us. My FIL and MIL came in town about a week after we got home and we were much more settled and felt up to company at that point. They did not stay with us though, they stayed in a hotel. I don't regret setting boundaries even though it might have seemed rude or unappreciative. You really do need that time to heal plus I was super emotional those first few weeks. I also learned that you have to express what you need. If I thought the baby was being handled to much, I would nicely take him back and settle him with me or the swing.
I also requested people call before they come or schedule a time to come visit
PPD Isn't always just sadness either...I was angry..really really angry..about everything and nothing. Everything except for the baby..then I had thoughts of running away with the baby...Serious stuff. I ended up on a low level Anti depressant for about 8 months.
Baby blues and PPD are real. And breastfeeding is damn hard work. Don't beat yourself up if all doesn't go perfectly or according to plan and don't be afraid to talk to someone, anyone about any bad feelings you might have. I only realized later on that what I thought was really bad baby blues wasn't probably PPD. Mix a roller coaster of hormones and emotions with broken little sleep and it's a recipe. You'll all be the best mommas you can be.
Edited to add I didn't see the above comment but it goes to show how common it is!
Double posting to second this. PPD and PPA are absolutely no joke.
@TRA0816 I didn't realize anger was a sign of PPD. I thought I was going crazy over the summer, especially when I started weaning from EPing. I was SO angry, and it literally could be anything that flipped my switch. I'm still working with DH to try and repair some of the damage I did emotionally during that time period. He understands, but I was awful, and what's worse is I knew it, even when I was yelling.
Hi again STMs I seriously love this thread. Another question... After being home with baby for a few weeks/months, what nursery items did you find yourself using all the time? What did you buy that ended up being a waste of money?
How soon should you pack a hospital bag and what items are must haves?
I packed mine as I flew out the door.really didn't need much! Pretty much just comfy pjs if you don't like a hospital gown for afterwards. DH brought me clothes and MIL brought baby outfits. Hospital provides everything else!
Hi again STMs I seriously love this thread. Another question... After being home with baby for a few weeks/months, what nursery items did you find yourself using all the time? What did you buy that ended up being a waste of money?
So I didn't need a bassinet,I used the one that came with my stroller, and it was better because I was able to rock baby to sleep in it. Also a glider was (and still is)a lifesaver for nursing and putting baby to sleep. I didn't actually over buy, so I can't think now what was a waste...
Hi again STMs I seriously love this thread. Another question... After being home with baby for a few weeks/months, what nursery items did you find yourself using all the time? What did you buy that ended up being a waste of money?
The diaper changing table was a gift but waste of money for the gift giver as we never used it when he was a baby. I changed the baby on the floor with a changing pad, on the couch, on the bed. Now the table is used as a toy holder..it has three shelves so it works well.
Halo sleep sacks Formula dispensers Nose Frida Lots of pajamas Extra sheets for crib/pack and play Mattress cover for crib/pack and play White noise machine Comfy glider (make sure it's tall enough to lean your head back in) Lots of burp clothes (old school cloth diapers work great-extra thick)
Waste:
Wipe warmer Dark colored sheets (I insisted on navy and they showed every bit of drool) Shoes
@Kathryn0903 I would suggest meeting your pediatrician. I think I was 7 or 8 months before I decided on a pediatrician. The office I decided on has a new parent meeting where they bring you in prior to having your baby and answer any questions. It was really nice to have the open forum to tour the office and get all your questions answered.
@anokoch our HR person was an idiot and wouldn't give them till the last minute. Once I had my c section scheduled, she finally gave them to me.
@Kathryn0903 I can't remember exactly when we picked, sometime in the 3rd trimester. I would say it depends on where you live, like daycare. We didn't have time to meet before, but a lot of them do meet and greets. Our hospital gave us a list, but you can also usually check your insurance company website and find an in network list to narrow it down a bit. I panicked trying to find someone who had rights at the hospital I delivered at, but we wound up just seeing who was on call at the hospital
@Kathryn0903 We didn't choose a pediatrician. We saw several (one each day) as part of hospital rounds and we met our ped then.
I cannot even tell you how much we love our pediatrician. I seriously adore her. I was super worried about choosing one ahead of time, and we ended up waiting....and I'm so happy we did. We ended up just choosing the one we liked the most during our hospital stay.
@secicc12 Necessities: white noise machine, rock n play, Fisher price swing, nose Frida, halo sleep sacks, glider
Not necessary: baby bathrobes, wipe Warmer, diaper genie
I'd recommend not registering for clothes or baby blankets. People buy them anyways. We have about 15 blankets for our son, and he's never used most of them.
@Kathryn0903, I think I started doing research around 6 months, and met with them around 7.5 months. If you do a Google search for "questions to ask new pediatrician ", tons of helpful stuff comes up. If I can find the form I used, I'll link it here for you.
@secicc12 my favorite thing was the boppy lounger. It was amazing for when my arms got tired from holding the baby.
This is is super random unsolicited advice that likely won't apply to hardly anyone (I hope!) but I had the worst belly button pain at around 20 weeks with my son and wrote it off as my body stretching. Never mentioned it to my doc. Happened a couple more times randomly, then around 11 months pp I had the same pain and it wouldn't go away. Ended up being an umbilical hernia (with no visible bump). I had a CT scan and it showed that I had strangulation of my intestines at one time. This can be super serious if you let it go. So--- if you feel belly button pain a couple months after baby is out say something!
Re: Everything You didn't want to know about Pregnancy, Birth & Postpartum: STM to FTM advice
Have you had blood draws already? If you did, maybe you already have elevated glucose levels, or they saw glucose when they tested your urine. It's definitely better to know early if they have reason to suspect you have GD, but otherwise I would ask why the Dr wants you to test so soon.
No advice on how to not feel ill, I didn't have much in the way of side effects. I think it's the equivalent of a really sugary soda, it's more that you have to drink it all within five minutes that's gross.
DS2: EDD- 09.08.17
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
I packed mine that morning before heading in. I also packed a ton of crap I didn't need, like pillows and towels and toiletries.
Although all the breastfeeding literature will tell you to wait, I would NOT have survived the hospital without bringing a pacifier. My daughter was great at breastfeeding from the start but she was really fussy during the night even no matter how much she ate. It gave me so much anxiety as a new mom. The pacifier gave me 5 min of freedom to use the restroom or take a deep breath without her crying (or me crying!) Every cry at the beginning makes you a hormonal mess because you think you're doing something wrong or they are hurt.
Now obviously you'd want to use good judgement and if the baby wasn't catching on to breastfeeding quickly then probably best not to confuse them with a pacifier. But for me it was a LIFESAVER.
My advice for FTM who end up having a c-section, after the baby is out and they are putting you back together, you get extremely cold, and sometimes uncontrollable shakes. And your scar can and most likely will be numb/tinglely for a year.
Hey there, i am a FTM too! I am about 9w1d now and i have made a checklist already of what to pack and what the baby and hubby should have in there bags. I know i will do all the packing. I did that so i could buy everything in a ore organized matter and start buying now. I plant to have all bags ready at 30 weeks and carry it with me everytime i have an appointment. I know it might sound crazy but i have heard family members stories of not coming back home from dr. Appointment bc they were already dilated at 32 weeks. I know the hospital gives you a lot i just want to be prepared
For mom that have experienced this unfortunate situation, i have a couple of questions...
If you dont mind.
1. Did it happened on first visit/first ultrasound, or on second ultrasound a bit down the line
2. Did you feel any different, absence of pregnancy symptoms perhaps
3.what happens then? What is the next step.
I really hope and wish no one has ever to experience a loss. But i am curious/frightened i read the chances of miscarriage are as low as 20% but about 3 mom have experienced it in the past week or so and have posted their goodbyes here in the community. Anyone care to share?
1. Did it happened on first visit/first ultrasound, or on second ultrasound a bit down the line: Yes, it was on the first visit and ultrasound. I was 7 weeks at my first appt.
2. Did you feel any different, absence of pregnancy symptoms perhaps. I had started spotting a few days before my appt and noticed that my breast tenderness had subsided.
3.what happens then? What is the next step. Honestly it was the most devastating thing I've been through in my entire life and still affects me today. After the dr didn't see a heartbeat she sent me for blood work to check my HCG levels. My HCG levels were already dropping and I was told I had the choice of getting a D&C or waiting to have a natural miscarriage. I decided to wait and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. After you have a miscarriage you still have to get blood work until your levels reach 0
First and foremost, there is really nothing you can do to avoid a miscarriage. So as much as you can just know you are pregnant now, and thats all you can really do. As someone who had a loss, I have to tell myself that every day.
Sorry these are long:
1. Did it happened on first visit/first ultrasound, or on second ultrasound a bit down the line: I never had an US. I just started bleeding really heavy and it happened very fast. I got an US when I went in that day to confirm, and I had a complete MC, so the US tech even asked me if I was sure I was pregnant, which made me cry uncontrollably. And then she looked for my ovaries and tried to get as good of a look at my tubes as possible, to ensure there wasn't any tissue left, and that it wasn't ectopic.
2. Did you feel any different, absence of pregnancy symptoms perhaps: Looking back and comparing it to this pregnancy, yes I lost symptoms. My MC was at 9 weeks, but by 7 weeks, my breasts weren't sore, and I never had any food issues, and my energy came back. I was/am a FTM so I didn't realize it when It was happening. I also had a moment of extreme light headedness at about 7 weeks and brushed it off as more blood or something. But it turned out that it was very possibly part of the pregnancy terminating. My OB said that It could have been a rush of hormones and my body recognizing something to be wrong. But She also assured me that if I was light headed when I got pregnant again, that it is a normal symptom, and to not worry unless its coupled with loss of other symptoms.
3.what happens then? What is the next step. It was totally natural for me. Nothing left by the time I was at the doctor. I can actually remember passing it, in my own bathroom. I didn't look at it, but I clearly felt it, and it happened a second time right after that too, and i just knew. At the OB I was given the option to have a D&C if I wanted, to make 100% sure that I had passed it all, but that I could just go with blood tests, and as long as my HCG dropped I was good. I chose that method, and within a week I was at 0.
Please know that this is something that is different for everyone as well, but if knowing our stories will help you feel better then thats fine.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
IvorySoapGirl - Forest Hills, NY
Me: 40 DH: 40
Married May 2012
DD born Sep 2013
MC Feb 2017 11w2d
CP May 2017 5w
MC Oct 2017 6w
BFP Dec 2017 EDD 8/15/18
Slip on shoes and grippy socks are also a must. Thought my feet would fit into my Uggs/ slippers after birth and they didn't. My feet were so swollen I had to use my "old lady" housework white slip on sneakers because they werw the only shoes my feet would fit into. So glad I can wear flip flops this time.
If you bring your own pillow, get a pillow case with a color or pattern so it doesn't get mixed in with the hospital pillows.
As far as for baby, I only brought an outfit for him to come home in, they supplied tee shirts and socks for him. I know a lot of people bring footie pajamas, but they can't wear them with the ankle monitor the hospital puts on them.
One good tip, when doing your hospital tour, ask if the delivery room and recovery room are the same or different. Some recommend bringing one bag for the delivery room and then leaving a recovery bag in the car for someone to get once you're settled in the recovery room.
Bring chapstick, my lips got so chapped, I took a ton of Carmex. Instead of regular shampoo, I took a shower cap and dry shampoo so I didn't have to wash, blow-dry, and straighten. Those little makeup wipes are great when you can't get out of bed need to wash your face. Just that and brushing my teeth made me feel like a new woman.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Before I was pregnant, I was so ready. I could spit out information about anything pregnancy and baby related. I've babysat and kept so many kids/babies that it just comes naturally to me. But since the moment I saw that second line, my mind went completely blank and I am nothing but anxiety!
I started my first week back after my son was 3 months old, on a Wednesday. Also I did half days those 3 days back. Then the following week I was able to transition.
Also, if you plan to pump at work, put it on your calendar so that people can't schedule events/meetings during your pump time. If you don't keep to a regular schedule for pumping, you may see a decline in your supply. If you're in a meeting and it's time to go pump, don't feel bad to excuse yourself.
Was very thankful I have a manager who is family oriented and understood my needs. Having the discussion with your manager before you leave for maternity leave is always helpful.
I also requested people call before they come or schedule a time to come visit
caitlyn5454 said:
DS2: EDD- 09.08.17
Halo sleep sacks
Formula dispensers
Nose Frida
Lots of pajamas
Extra sheets for crib/pack and play
Mattress cover for crib/pack and play
White noise machine
Comfy glider (make sure it's tall enough to lean your head back in)
Lots of burp clothes (old school cloth diapers work great-extra thick)
Waste:
Wipe warmer
Dark colored sheets (I insisted on navy and they showed every bit of drool)
Shoes
@Kathryn0903 I can't remember exactly when we picked, sometime in the 3rd trimester. I would say it depends on where you live, like daycare. We didn't have time to meet before, but a lot of them do meet and greets. Our hospital gave us a list, but you can also usually check your insurance company website and find an in network list to narrow it down a bit. I panicked trying to find someone who had rights at the hospital I delivered at, but we wound up just seeing who was on call at the hospital
We didn't choose a pediatrician. We saw several (one each day) as part of hospital rounds and we met our ped then.
I cannot even tell you how much we love our pediatrician. I seriously adore her. I was super worried about choosing one ahead of time, and we ended up waiting....and I'm so happy we did. We ended up just choosing the one we liked the most during our hospital stay.
Necessities: white noise machine, rock n play, Fisher price swing, nose Frida, halo sleep sacks, glider
Not necessary: baby bathrobes, wipe Warmer, diaper genie
I'd recommend not registering for clothes or baby blankets. People buy them anyways. We have about 15 blankets for our son, and he's never used most of them.
@Kathryn0903, I think I started doing research around 6 months, and met with them around 7.5 months. If you do a Google search for "questions to ask new pediatrician ", tons of helpful stuff comes up. If I can find the form I used, I'll link it here for you.
This is is super random unsolicited advice that likely won't apply to hardly anyone (I hope!) but I had the worst belly button pain at around 20 weeks with my son and wrote it off as my body stretching. Never mentioned it to my doc. Happened a couple more times randomly, then around 11 months pp I had the same pain and it wouldn't go away. Ended up being an umbilical hernia (with no visible bump). I had a CT scan and it showed that I had strangulation of my intestines at one time. This can be super serious if you let it go. So--- if you feel belly button pain a couple months after baby is out say something!