August 2017 Moms

Everything You didn't want to know about Pregnancy, Birth & Postpartum: STM to FTM advice

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Re: Everything You didn't want to know about Pregnancy, Birth & Postpartum: STM to FTM advice

  • @DeansGirl14 yeah I'm signing up this weekend for the 1st class, see how it goes before signing up for the other classes we were thinking of doing there. I am going to have to take a look at the pediatricians etc too. So much to do!!! 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @smallbutmighty77 and @DeansGirl14 are you guys FTM? the classes are informational. I took the one for calming and relaxation during labor and let me tell you that flew out the window for me lol but all the classes are fun and make sure you have the dates right as well because my pregnancy brain last year was super bad. I had one schedule for like a 27th of the month and it happen both months fell on the same Saturday. I went a month ahead but the building was closed and it was a hot day that I was sweating like wth, I even went to the maternity center and asked them that if I was going to the correct building and they said yes and a nurse went with me and she open the facility and no one was there come to find out I check my email and it was not until the following month I started laughing at myself and told her it was my first time carrying a baby full term pregnant and mixed up the dates. She was nice and said it is OK we will see you in August when you give birth :) 
    DeansGirl14
  • @emmeline714 I am a FTM...I am all for informational, and I want to do the tour when we have a bit more time for questions etc. I feel like taking one class in person and if I feel like it was ok or not great I can take others they offer online. 
    Just want DH to see/do something involving the babies arrival outside of gadgets and gear, he has no clue. 
    He asked me the other day why I told him he would not be able to leave the sleeping baby to take the dog for a walk. Let the dog in the yard, sure. Take her for a 10min walk?!? Um, no thanks. He was also very surprised by how tiny the clothes we got were...like, yeah, it's a baby!!! So some of it is for him to get a better feel for everything that is going to happen, etc.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    emmeline714
  • @smallbutmighty77 oh I know, lovely DHs always need it the most. They are fun specially the baby foods one because you get to taste that lovely stuff lol. Men are always clueless until baby arrives then they get it together because they learn that they are responsible for a tiny little human other than themselves. My daughter prefers her dad over me at times but I just see him how he is a dad to our daughter and how careful they are they become more sensitive and alert. 
    smallbutmighty77
  • @emmeline714 I know the first time I see him hold this tiny baby I am going to lose it! 100% bawl my eyes out, lose it. Probably the first like 10 times I see them together I am going to be a pile of mush. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    emmeline714
  • @Kathryn0903 We were Team Green both times and when I had each of my boys, we did the bris at our house.  We got recommendations for the mohel through the local synagogue and had no issues scheduling them.  My parents were helpful in arranging everything while I was recovering.  
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    BabyFeld
  • @smallbutmighty77 I still get emotional at times when I see them bonding but I think it also has to do with the fact I am pregnant with my second one. My DD turn 7 months on friday I cried my eyes out because I started reminiscing on the fact that time is flying by quick :( 
    smallbutmighty77
  • STM's or FTM's who have done this already.  I have been trying to contact this one day care for weeks now, not super regularly, but ive left messages quite a few times, and now emailed twice.  I know this doesnt bode well for them being a reliable choice, but I really want to get in contact with them.  Is just showing up at a daycare a no-no?  I feel like it would be, but I figured I would ask just in case. 
    August 2017 BMB April Siggy Challenge

    **TW Loss mentioned**
    Married: 7/21/12
    TTC: 4/12/16
    BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16
    TTCAL: 8/8/16
    BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17
    Mommy to a super cute Havanesse puppy!  <\;3
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker


  • @littlebug2010 I like pop up visits just to see what the daycare is like when they're not expecting someone to randomly show up. I think for a formal tour, it's nice to schedule an appointment just because they need to have a certain number of people in each rooms. But I always do a pop up before I make my final decision. If I couldn't get in contact with a daycare they would be off my list. What if you need to contact then during the day about your LO and they're MIA, not good.
    August 2017 BMB April Siggy Challenge

  • @littlebug2010 when we were looking at daycares, DH just showed up and they seemed fine with it. Gave him a tour and all.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @britvahok I agree that not being able to contact them is making me nervous, but the crappy thing is that this is the best location for us.  Its also priced really well for the area, and I just hate not trying.  I think Im going to give it a few more weeks ( I have contacted other places), and see if I can get a hold of them, and I might just pop in one day to see if I can talk to someone.  Good to know that you just popped in when looking though! Thanks!
    August 2017 BMB April Siggy Challenge

    **TW Loss mentioned**
    Married: 7/21/12
    TTC: 4/12/16
    BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16
    TTCAL: 8/8/16
    BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17
    Mommy to a super cute Havanesse puppy!  <\;3
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker


  • I was wondering if anyone can explain what we are entitled to as far as maternity leave goes? I have been jumping through hoops with my HR department and they refuse to get back to me until it is time for me to fill out my paperwork 30 days prior. It has been extremely frustrating, as DH and I cannot afford for me to be unpaid for 12 weeks and we really need to plan ahead.

    Here is what I THINK I learned:
    1. FMLA gives 12 weeks unpaid
    2. I'm in California. so I get PFL, which gives 6 weeks paid (about 55%)
    3. PDL gives 6 or 8 weeks, depending on natural or c-section?

    I've read so many pamphlets and online articles... and I am still very confused. Any insight would be greatly appreciated...
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @Feliciosity
    I *think* maternity leave really varies on your own individual company.  At the time DS was born, I was a teacher here in NJ, and the maternity leave that I got was different than a friend's who worked in another district.  My district allowed me to use 20 paid sick days before my due date and 20 paid sick days after my due date.  After the 20th day, I began FMLA, which gave me 12 weeks of full benefits, and the first 6 weeks were paid (not my complete salary, but I forget what percentage it was).  

    Sorry I can't be of more help...If HR won't meet with you, is it possible to meet with another woman within the company who went through a maternity leave?  She may be able to offer some insight and be able to help you.  Good luck! :)   


    Pregnancy Ticker


    belmont1785Feliciosity
  • AbbeyHAbbeyH member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic
    @Feliciosity I am not from California and I know that they have a lot of state specific guidelines, buuuuut I happen to be in HR and am more than happy to help if I can. I'm pretty sure fmla is federal- that allows you up to 12 weeks of unpaid time with job preotection (as long as you have been with the company long enough- and it is a company of a certain size) As for short term disability, that would be up to your company. Traditionally I see a vaginal birth being approved for 8 weeks of short term disability pay, and cs approved for 10 weeks. This time runs congruently with FMLA. Being in California definitely adds some complexity- but it tends to be in the employees favor if I recall. Hope this helps!
    Feliciosity
  • @Feliciosity That's completely ridiculous that they can't tell you what their maternity leave policy is.  Can you tell them that you need to find a childcare spot and you have to give them an idea about when you're returning to work?  I'm not familiar with CA laws, but FMLA entitles you to 12 weeks of unpaid leave as long as your employer has at least 50 employees within a 75 mile radius and you've worked at least 1250 hours in the 12 months prior to your leave.  FMLA and STD usually run concurrently.  Many STD policies pay a percentage of salary up to a certain cap for 6 weeks for a vaginal delivery and 8 weeks for a c-section.  It's up to your employer whether you can substitute accrued paid leave (sick, vacation and/or personal) for unpaid FMLA leave.  There should be a clear written policy on this, which should be provided to you upon request.  
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    Feliciosity
  • @kristenk727 That helped a great deal. I have a follow-up question, if that is okay.

    What about if I change jobs? Just a while ago I got an email... asking me if I want to interview for my dream job!!! Worst. Timing. Ever. Ugh!! But from what I understand, if I change companies now... I will not get any leave what-so-ever... is that right? No FMLA, no PFL, no Disability? Or can I still take disability? I will put my baby first... but this job is something I have been wanting FOREVER!
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Guys, my arreolas have increased in size by like 50%. Will they ever go back to my "normal" size?! 
  • @kristenk727 omg praise the lord
    kristenk727
  • secicc12secicc12 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    @kristenk727 omg praise the lord
    Haha I'm in the same boat. It's like half my already  gigantic boob is areola. 

    Pregnancy Ticker
    mrsmatt1212
  • Has anyone attended a breastfeeding class? I know several people mentioned meeting with LC in the hospital, but just curious if anyone found any of those classes or groups helpful?
  • @erindippity I attended a BFing class offered by my hospital before DS1 was born.  I had read up on BFing a lot before that, but still found it helpful.  It's also good for your SO to go to the class with you.  BFing can be very challenging and having a supportive, informed partner is important.
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    erindippitymiddy411
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