Well for starters I want to pat myself on the back because I did a gif on mobile!
But my UO is that it annoys the shit out of me when people don't like my dog for no reason. I get those who have had a traumatic incident with a dog in the past and are hesitant in general. But my dog is adorable and although he gets SUPER excited when anyone comes over and does put his paws on their legs but is otherwise super well behaved. I think I get offended when people don't like him for no reason because he is my child.
Okay, I'll start. In my lurking of other BMBs, I came across a thread about how to handle Santa if the parents have decided not to "lie" to their children and tell them he is real. I'm not sure how much of a UO this is in this crowd, but I absolutely hate this trendy new idea that letting your kids believe in Santa is somehow lying to them. Imagination is a great thing to foster. Let your kids be kids, people! They will grow up soon enough and face the reality that there is no Santa, Easter Bunny, or Toothfairy, and they will survive. I will be honest with my kids about things that matter, will use real names for body parts, and try not to censor the world for them where it's reasonable.
But for eff's sake, Santa is awesome, and they can have a few years of thinking the jolly dude is real.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
After reading a link in the Alpaca thread, I guess it's an UO but FB is not the place to send baby shower invites or the like. Real invitations should still be sent.
@kayemjay2 Yes! Totally agree, I was thinking about this yesterday. I don't feel its lying, it's letting them use some imagination and believe in something beyond the possible and I don't see anything wrong with that!
I'll let my UO be along the same lines. Growing up most of my gifts on Christmas morning were from Santa and I don't see a problem with that. It seems to be "trendy" the past few years to scold parents away from doing this to keep less fortunate kids from feeling shafted. I get that, I don't want kids feeling bad. HOWEVER, I don't ever recall being like "Santa got me this, Santa got me that". It was more "I got this and that and this" and no one ever questioned anything.
Well for starters I want to pat myself on the back because I did a gif on mobile!
But my UO is that it annoys the shit out of me when people don't like my dog for no reason. I get those who have had a traumatic incident with a dog in the past and are hesitant in general. But my dog is adorable and although he gets SUPER excited when anyone comes over and does put his paws on their legs but is otherwise super well behaved. I think I get offended when people don't like him for no reason because he is my child.
You'd hate me. My UO is that I don't like pets, including dogs. A dog will approach me to be petted or whatever and I just don't want to (sometimes I will out of politeness, but I really don't want to.) And I really hate it when a dog jumps up on me or licks me. I try to be polite about it because I know this is a UO -- most people are friendly with dogs -- but it's still very clear where I stand and usually the owner says, "are you afraid?" Not really afraid per se. I'm just not an animal person.
But to be fair, I'm not offended when people aren't excited to play with or otherwise engage with my kids. They need to provide a certain level and type of attention / appropriate response in order to not harm the kid (i.e. don't say "shut up" to my kid) but I think it can be a good lesson for a child (even a baby) that they aren't the center of attention and some adults do NOT want to listen to your story, etc.
Okay, I'll start. In my lurking of other BMBs, I came across a thread about how to handle Santa if the parents have decided not to "lie" to their children and tell them he is real. I'm not sure how much of a UO this is in this crowd, but I absolutely hate this trendy new idea that letting your kids believe in Santa is somehow lying to them. Imagination is a great thing to foster. Let your kids be kids, people! They will grow up soon enough and face the reality that there is no Santa, Easter Bunny, or Toothfairy, and they will survive. I will be honest with my kids about things that matter, will use real names for body parts, and try not to censor the world for them where it's reasonable.
But for eff's sake, Santa is awesome, and they can have a few years of thinking the jolly dude is real.
Speaking of santa, my UO is that I don't like the "Elf on the Shelf" thing and we don't do it.
@kayemjay2 Yes! Totally agree, I was thinking about this yesterday. I don't feel its lying, it's letting them use some imagination and believe in something beyond the possible and I don't see anything wrong with that!
I'll let my UO be along the same lines. Growing up most of my gifts on Christmas morning were from Santa and I don't see a problem with that. It seems to be "trendy" the past few years to scold parents away from doing this to keep less fortunate kids from feeling shafted. I get that, I don't want kids feeling bad. HOWEVER, I don't ever recall being like "Santa got me this, Santa got me that". It was more "I got this and that and this" and no one ever questioned anything.
While I don't scold parents for having a bunch of presents from Santa, I am definitely one that doesn't understand it. But, growing up our things from Santa were small and fit in our stocking. Or on the ground right below our stocking, like with a chocolate Santa or something. So until I was an adult, I never knew parents did it different, and I don't think it fully hit me until this year when my friend wanted me to help her pick out wrapping paper from Santa! As for saying believing in Santa is lying to children, I feel more comfortable lying about him as he is based off a real person...Because let's face it, never in history has a bunny gave any child candy in real life.
The UO I was going to post before being inspired by yours: I totally don't mind lurkers, even the ones who post on things like the ultrasound, EDD and other personal info threads without contributing to other threads. I think the concept of the hardly-participating-person is bad when many of said people ask the exact same question repeatedly and had never stuck around long enough to see someone else had asked the same thing. But otherwise, who cares if they are never around? What harm is in that?
Okay, I'll start. [...] But for eff's sake, Santa is awesome, and they can have a few years of thinking the jolly dude is real.
Speaking of santa, my UO is that I don't like the "Elf on the Shelf" thing and we don't do it.
Totally agree. I think I said to my 3.5-year-old, for the very first time the other day, "you need to behave if you want to be on Santa's nice list" and I've never said that before... but using the Elf thing is so over-the-top as a behavior tool. Like he's always watching you. But, okay, I'll grant you, if you use it as a new holiday family tradition, to see where it is the next day, etc., I get it, I do... but it's still super creepy. It's not even cute.
The UO I was going to post before being inspired by yours: I totally don't mind lurkers, even the ones who post on things like the ultrasound, EDD and other personal info threads without contributing to other threads. I think the concept of the hardly-participating-person is bad when many of said people ask the exact same question repeatedly and had never stuck around long enough to see someone else had asked the same thing. But otherwise, who cares if they are never around? What harm is in that?
@kat81 the only time lurkers annoy me is when they literally only come in to start shit, I think we only had one incident like that on this BMB.
The UO I was going to post before being inspired by yours: I totally don't mind lurkers, even the ones who post on things like the ultrasound, EDD and other personal info threads without contributing to other threads. I think the concept of the hardly-participating-person is bad when many of said people ask the exact same question repeatedly and had never stuck around long enough to see someone else had asked the same thing. But otherwise, who cares if they are never around? What harm is in that?
@kat81 the only time lurkers annoy me is when they literally only come in to start shit, I think we only had one incident like that on this BMB.
OK that is a good point, but if they have some outlandish weird situation that is more AW than "starting shit," I don't care. As far as "starting shit" is concerned, I guess it's also bad when it's a regular, but I see how it's way worse when it's a lurker because they have no accountability, background, etc.
Everybody has a different reason and/or need for being here. I feel differently about FB groups, because there's more personal information to be gleaned from our profiles. But read and comment when you want to here. Just search your topic to see if your topic has been discussed, and then ask your question or post about your topic.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
I guess I have no issue with lurkers. I find it weird to post in the AW US and pregnancy announcement thread if you're never going to participate again. Like whats the point? I also understand @pshaortao not wanting them on the spreadsheet as she's managing that and why manage a bunch of people who never join in?
Well for starters I want to pat myself on the back because I did a gif on mobile!
But my UO is that it annoys the shit out of me when people don't like my dog for no reason. I get those who have had a traumatic incident with a dog in the past and are hesitant in general. But my dog is adorable and although he gets SUPER excited when anyone comes over and does put his paws on their legs but is otherwise super well behaved. I think I get offended when people don't like him for no reason because he is my child.
You'd hate me. My UO is that I don't like pets, including dogs. A dog will approach me to be petted or whatever and I just don't want to (sometimes I will out of politeness, but I really don't want to.) And I really hate it when a dog jumps up on me or licks me. I try to be polite about it because I know this is a UO -- most people are friendly with dogs -- but it's still very clear where I stand and usually the owner says, "are you afraid?" Not really afraid per se. I'm just not an animal person.
But to be fair, I'm not offended when people aren't excited to play with or otherwise engage with my kids. They need to provide a certain level and type of attention / appropriate response in order to not harm the kid (i.e. don't say "shut up" to my kid) but I think it can be a good lesson for a child (even a baby) that they aren't the center of attention and some adults do NOT want to listen to your story, etc.
would you be this way if you went to someone's house who had a dog? My SIL comes over and ignores him, doesn't say hi. I don't expect people in public to be nice to him but her - what's up your butt?
As for Santa, I'm all for the magic of it. I don't think it's truly lying. And elf on the shelf is creepy and people go way too hard about it (posting pics on Facebook each day)
Coming out of my lurkdom to play today! My kids do not like any type of dog. They are so afraid of them, especially if one of them comes up to them wanting to play or pet them. I especially hate if said dog is not on a leash and the owner thinks hey my dog is friendly, everyone wants to play and pet them. No, they do not, sorry. But in your case @Jen_Shoes if I was going to your house with my kids, they would be in my arms the whole time.
Regarding the whole Santa/present thing, I say you do you and your traditions and not worry about anyone else. Growing up, we only got presents from Santa and never from my parents. I never thought twice about it. Now that I'm adult, I do think that was kinda weird, but it never bothered me. Now with my kids, we do presents from Santa and from us. We also do Elf on the Shelf, but we only move them from place to place. The joy on their faces when they find them is pure bliss.
My UO, I hate the FB posts on Christmas/Christmas Eve when you show all of your presents under the tree, it's like it's gloating, look what I bought for my kids!
@kayemjay2 & @nda_roxybabe stole the UOs I was sitting on all week! I fondly recall believing in Santa as a child. Once I knew he wasn't real, I still pretended to believe in the spirit of things. We got our biggest gifts from him. I'm so annoyed by the meme circulating social media about making sure Santa doesn't give your kids too much for fear another kid won't get as much. I don't think anyone gets to dictate how Santa happens in someone else's house. Give your kids 98 gifts each, or just give them stocking stuffers. By the time they're old enough to understand and comprehend that Santa might not give everyone the same thing, they likely won't believe in him anymore anyway. One mom on either a FB thread or the bmb post commented that she won't let Santa give the big gifts because she wants the credit for them from her kids. Oy.
I also think the elf is v. creepy. However, my 3 year old has really tested my limits lately and I've been toying with getting one to "watch and report" back to Santa. I swore I'd never do it and I probably won't.
I don't mind lurkers in general as I was a lurker on my last bmb. I do mind AW'ing one-off personal details about yourself, like an U/S or announcement. It just seems so stupid and clearly those folks aren't sticking around to lurk. They are literally walking into a room of strangers, announcing medical/personal info, and then running out.
My UO: I think perpetuating woo myths on the internet is ridiculous. Vicks on your feet or a potato or onion in your sock do jack shit for your cold. If that actually worked, doctors would have prescribed it for decades and drug companies would have harnessed that power to create something expensive. Every time someone shares one of those myths on the internet, another handful of people believe that crap. **Politics trigger** This is probably how Trump was elected.
@kayemjay2 I totally agree. I do not feel like belief is Santa is a lie. Actually, it frustrates me when people say it is a lie. Let your children believe in something good in the world. We want to make them grow up too soon. Let them be kids. Let them keep their innocence for just a little while longer. My son is 10 and knows now but it hasn't effected him and he's a well adjusted child. No damage done!!
@kat81 I agree I don't care for dogs I do have cats though. However, when people come over I shoo my cats away from them and even sometimes shut them in the bedroom. They are very affectionate and one in particular is an AW. I don't want others and our visit to be interrupted. I also agree about the kids. I don't expect people to love my child just because I do. In fact it annoys me when people think I should fall over there kids. My past losses often make it hard for me, especially with babies. Let me show interest in them don't force them on me.
My UO is helicopter parents. You have no idea what you are creating. They will never be able to live a life without you involved. Don't you want them to grow up and be a successful teenager/college student /adult? The world is hard, use difficulties as teachable moments so they can handle it themselves next time. Set them up for a successful life.
I agree with the disdain for the elf on the shelf... just creepy. When did that start, anyway?
My UO: I've been building my baby registry (FTM here) and realized that I can't stand kiddie printed designs. You know, the crib sheets with the repeated monkeys riding rockets or elephants and bananas and such, all in bold colors. It's not like I should care much, but I guess I'm sensitive to aesthetics. Who designs this stuff?!
@Jen_Shoes - I definitely agree about people who don't like my dog, or dogs in general. They get a major side-eye from me. Not super related story: We got our dog on Craigslist when she was 3 years old. She was being given away because her owner (who had had her since she was 12 weeks old) was getting married and his lovely new bride did not like dogs. It's been almost 3 years, and I still cannot get over that. I had a dog when my husband and I met, and I sure as hell would not have gotten rid of my pup for any man, but also can't see myself marrying a dog hater. Nope.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
I get not liking dogs. I have a dog that a lot of people who don't like dogs seem to like. She's quiet and unobtrusive. But I can't stand dogs that jump on you or aggressively force their love. My friend and her husband have an annoyingly large dog that jumps all over you and then tries to sit on your lap when you sit down. He's huge and they do nothing to pull him off visitors. Then they come to my house and, while the husband loves my dog, he turns his nose up at my cat and pushes her off the couch if she comes too close. My cat has an uncanny ability of knowing if you don't like cat, are afraid of cats, or are allergic to them. She's drawn to those people and generally ignores everyone else. It's not ideal and I typically shoo her away from people. But I'm so annoyed that the guy with the annoying dog treats my cat like crap.
I'm also the girl in the corner at a party petting the house dog or cat.
At first I was like omg, totally agree with you @Jen_Shoes, but then I remembered I don't like cats! I mean, I'm not mean to them, but they always seems to like me and want to rub on me and sit on my lap and I hate hair and just...blegh.
I agree about the dog thing. I generally like most animals but since I had my son I've become much more leery about other peoples dog. It drives my husband and I crazy when we take our son to the park and there's all these dogs running around without leashes when there's signs that specifically say to have your dog on a leash. There has been several times where dogs have been running full speed at my stroller and their owner is yelling "its ok they are nice".. maybe your dog is nice but your dog is huge and I'm scared its going to bite my child (Irish wolf hound). Also when we walk around our neighborhood and peoples dogs are barking as us while they are in their own yards it still makes us nervous. A neighbors pit bull got out and went after one of the neighbor kids.
I know totally different than people coming to your house... But I also don't like when I go to someone's house and their dog is jumping all over me slobbering.
I also get the dog thing. I have a cat, and I have a good friend who is irrationally afraid of cats and a few not-so-close friends who are allergic and don't like cats because of that. I get that it's not personal, and I don't expect everyone to adore him just because I'm a total cat lady and think he's my soul animal (I have no shame). But he's pretty chill and is a surprisingly good judge of character. He runs for the hills when he senses negative vibes. Let's just say I'm not close with many people who don't like my cat, or with people that my cat doesn't like.
In general I love animals. I grew up with pet dogs, birds, rabbits, chickens, fish, and even cockroaches. As an adult I have two cats that I love so much it's almost embarrassing. But when I go over to someone's house I am super annoyed when their dogs (especially big, slobbery ones) jump up on me or lick me. I don't want dirty paw prints all over my clothes and I certainly don't want dog drool all over my face and hands. The WORST is when a big, hairy dog just goes and gets a drink of water and then comes and puts its head in your lap for some petting. Thanks, dog, for making it look like I just wet myself. And now my pants smell like dog breath. Cool. If the dogs have been trained to not jump up on people, I have no problem with them being around and they'll get some pets and head scratches from me. When I have guests over I put the cats away, unless I know the people are cat-friendly and don't mind the kitty cuddles.
My UO is that I don't like drama. I can handle a bit of it on t.v. and the Internet (though I don't go looking for it), but IRL it makes me so uncomfortable. My school district's teacher break rooms are fraught with gossip and drama and I always feel bad for whoever is the target. I keep thinking: these are real people with real lives, and problems, and feelings.
We are a dog family through and through. We have an underground fence so the girls can roam free while being in our yard. My UO is that I don't mind when neighbors are walking their dogs and have them come play with mine (they also allow their kids) but I have a neighbor in the back who lets his dogs come over and they aren't really interested in playing they just mark all over my flowers and each time they come in our yard they both poop. Each time. We don't pick up poop (lived in the city for a bit and hated it) but seriously ours don't shit on my plants or pee all over my flowers. Makes me want to put up an actual fence.
It will likely surprise many of you, but like @diann21, I actually don't like drama in real life. On the internet, it's fun. But in real life amongst grown adults, it's ridiculous.
At first, I 100% agreed with @jen_shoes. My aunt was here over thanksgiving and kinda ticked me off, because she was "annoyed" with my dog. Which is fine, except he's terrified of everyone, so as long as you ignore him, the most he'll do is smell your shoes to get a feel for you (people who are intense dog lovers are actually worse because he's afraid of them and will run away and sometimes bark). But he was standing next to her and smelling her feet and she kept shoo-ing him away, nearly kicking him. I was like, "quit it!" If she would have just let him finish smelling her, he would have left her alone. However, I am on the train of "if you have a big slobbery dog, don't let them goober me." I'm a dog lover x100 but I think my dog has spoiled me because he's pretty clean, doesn't really shed and is so incredibly sweet. Also, I am not a cat person (allergic) and they tend to not like me - I think they can sense that I'm not a fan. So, long story short, I see both sides.
@mcvgal I'm the one that posted that link, so I guess it's no surprise that I agree. I am still pretty old-fashioned about a lot of the etiquette rules (though I readily accept that some need to be loosened), and I feel like invitations should be sent in the mail. Facebook is far too informal, IMO. That thread had me clutching my proverbial pearls a few times!
I thought I had a UO, but it's gone. I'll be back, I'm sure!
I agree with the posts about the elves. I am not a fan. But I will say, as a 4th grade teacher, it really keeps the spirit and believing in Santa much longer. Teaching 2nd before the Elf, I had several kids that didn't believe in Santa in my class of 18. This year in 4th, almost all 60 students believe and if not, they wouldn't dare say aloud. That is the biggest positive I see about the Elf.
I agree re: FB invites on for formal occasions but not for baby showers. FFThC: The last 2 baby showers I've hosted we used FB for the invites. They were both towards the end of mom's pregnancy and we wanted a way to reach all the guests in case something happened and mom wasn't able to make the shower. It was also the easiest way for the moms to send us their invite list and/or add guests.
Okay, I should qualify my dog post- I side eye people who just have a blanket dislike of dogs. I'm in a book club, and we have a new member who does not like dogs. She's not scared of them, just doesn't like them. Because of that, she refuses to come to meetings if I host- even if I keep my dog upstairs with my husband. She has never met my dog. My dog is well behaved, doesn't jump or slobber, and is not frightening in any way (she's a lab).
I do understand the annoyance of off-leash dogs in non off-leash areas. That's not cool. I also understand being wary of strange dogs around babies/kids. I love dogs and am not scared of them, but I also acknowledged that they are animals and that they can do serious damage if they want to. My dog is given pretty much free range around my son because I know and trust her- but strange dogs, not so much.
Re: baby shower invites- I agree that FB is a no-go...but I am all about evite.com. We (my MIL) used that for our baby shower, and it was so freaking easy. That being said, my family and friends aren't ones to mind that, and they tend to use evite for their events as well, so I know no one would mind. It's easier for the host to keep track of who has responded, easy for guests to change their responses (fewer no-shows who RSVP yes), and they don't have to mail anything. I'm a fan.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
I don't have a problem in general with evites/paperless post, other than I just don't have everyone's email addresses! I keep a pretty complete record of people's physical addresses from their Christmas cards, etc and it's left over from my wedding. Plus I have several very old-fashioned country family (mostly on H's side) that do not have computers at home and don't have an email address - or at least not one they check regularly. So then, I'm in a pickle there!
Drama IRL can suck. I don't mind a little but as long I'm not smack dab in the middle of it. I do enjoy watching drama go down where it's deserved. I'm totally loving the alpaca thread
The elf thing is like whatever. Granted, I have a 2yo and I might change my mind later but at the same time I don't hear grandparents going oh my god I wish we had that when you were kids. As for telling the truth about Santa, it's their business. But if you choose to tell your kids from the start, make sure they don't ruin that magic for others! I hate hearing the stories where a 6yo comes home from school and said I was told this, is this true. Just no.
Facebook invites, I'm like whatever about. I personally prefer snail mail invites but that's just me.
Dogs.. I love them, can't get enough and want one (or two) in the next five years when the kiddos are a little older. But I do prefer that they learn to not jump on people. I have friends who don't like dogs and one would avoid my house completely because we had a very excitable mutt.
The lurker stuff, I don't care if there are lurkers although the AW type do annoy me. Like.. why? I'm just more intrigued by those who posted a few times in the past then all of a sudden stopped but can see that they are still logging in. I think the people that come in and post a random question when it's not necessary (or can be done in the random thread) are those who just made a new account just so they could ask. Silly drive-bye-rs.
My UO is helicopter parents. You have no idea what you are creating. They will never be able to live a life without you involved. Don't you want them to grow up and be a successful teenager/college student /adult? The world is hard, use difficulties as teachable moments so they can handle it themselves next time. Set them up for a successful life.
I'm curious about your perspective regarding helicopter parents, like don't be those people right off the bat or? I'm still one at playgrounds for the most part, because DD is only 2 and other kids are careless assholes. She got pushed off a play bridge once by some careless 5yo boy but fortunately I was there to catch her.
Well, I guess I have a real UO today, because I really don't get Santa. I'm not planning on telling my kids about him, or doing anything with him! I think it's kind of creepy to tell your kids that it's cool, some man is going to come into our house while we're all sleeping. Growing up, my mom was Catholic and my dad was Jewish (is now Catholic, actually!). So, we did both Hanukkah and Christmas, but only the religious aspects of them. I think Santa was just too much to add in for my parents. So, I never had it and never really missed out! I had plenty of imagination opportunities, so I think I was good! (I will agree with @pshaortao that I think if you don't do Santa, you do have a bit of a responsibility to teach your kids not to ruin it for others.)
My UO is helicopter parents. You have no idea what you are creating. They will never be able to live a life without you involved. Don't you want them to grow up and be a successful teenager/college student /adult? The world is hard, use difficulties as teachable moments so they can handle it themselves next time. Set them up for a successful life.
I'm curious about your perspective regarding helicopter parents, like don't be those people right off the bat or? I'm still one at playgrounds for the most part, because DD is only 2 and other kids are careless assholes. She got pushed off a play bridge once by some careless 5yo boy but fortunately I was there to catch her.
Yes! I am a bit of a helicopter at the playground still! Daughter (almost 3yo) has given herself a couple of concussions, (super clutzy tripping, and falling off of a dining room chair.) so I'm extra cautious even though she can climb the ladders and stuff on her own. I do hover a bit.
@kayemjay2 , I totally agree with the Santa thing. It's harmless. Don't lie to your kids about real life things, but let them be little and enjoy the "Christmas magic". I stopped believing in Santa at the young age of 7 (because of a mishap with a tooth fairy letter that was CLEARLY in my moms' handwriting...after which, I connected the dots), but I hope my kids are a little older before they figure it out.
@Jen_Shoes, I half agree with you in that I hate when people hate my pets for no reason (I have a dog and a cat), but I still dislike when I go to someone's house and their pet is jumping on me/pawing at me. I just find it awkward and uncomfortable. I always go with it and pet the dog, etc, but I don't LIKE it.
@kat81, I hate Elf on a Shelf. I can still somehow see myself getting guilted into it down the line if my son sees it at someone else's house and wonders where his is...ugh...
My UO is that I don't really like small children. I love my son, obviously, but I don't always like him. And I really don't like most people's small children, the shrieking, crying, tantrums, general life disruptions, etc. Don't get me wrong, we planned for the family we have and I love my son and this unborn little girl, but I'm greatly looking forward to both of them being a little older.
I think the term "helicopter parent" is way overused. I think hovering is fine for the younger kid safety issues listed above. Also, sometime there's no one at the park for DD to play with. Maybe she's the only one there or kids are different ages. There's nothing wrong with a parent climbing along and having fun with a kid on the equipment. I do however judge the crap out of germaphobe parents. I recently witnessed a friend tell their kid that if she touched the floor of the restaurant, her hand would fall off. Crazy.
How could you not love that face? Lol I do not let him off leash in inappropriate places (public) and he's fantastic with my neices (4 & 2) and doesn't jump on them. He does lick, but it doesn't leave slobber, and he doesn't shed. I'm also good about holding him with strangers and people he doesn't know even when they come to our house. But for my mom or MIL I don't because they know him.
I'm allergic to cats so I don't touch them, but I'm not rude to them.
I think being cautious when your children are little is fine, but once your kids are in middle school, you should back off a bit.
I don't prefer Facebook invites, and I wouldn't do it for myself but I don't get offended if I get one.
Re: UO 12/22
But my UO is that it annoys the shit out of me when people don't like my dog for no reason. I get those who have had a traumatic incident with a dog in the past and are hesitant in general. But my dog is adorable and although he gets SUPER excited when anyone comes over and does put his paws on their legs but is otherwise super well behaved. I think I get offended when people don't like him for no reason because he is my child.
But for eff's sake, Santa is awesome, and they can have a few years of thinking the jolly dude is real.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
I'll let my UO be along the same lines. Growing up most of my gifts on Christmas morning were from Santa and I don't see a problem with that. It seems to be "trendy" the past few years to scold parents away from doing this to keep less fortunate kids from feeling shafted. I get that, I don't want kids feeling bad. HOWEVER, I don't ever recall being like "Santa got me this, Santa got me that". It was more "I got this and that and this" and no one ever questioned anything.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
But to be fair, I'm not offended when people aren't excited to play with or otherwise engage with my kids. They need to provide a certain level and type of attention / appropriate response in order to not harm the kid (i.e. don't say "shut up" to my kid) but I think it can be a good lesson for a child (even a baby) that they aren't the center of attention and some adults do NOT want to listen to your story, etc.
As for saying believing in Santa is lying to children, I feel more comfortable lying about him as he is based off a real person...Because let's face it, never in history has a bunny gave any child candy in real life.
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
As for Santa, I'm all for the magic of it. I don't think it's truly lying. And elf on the shelf is creepy and people go way too hard about it (posting pics on Facebook each day)
My kids do not like any type of dog. They are so afraid of them, especially if one of them comes up to them wanting to play or pet them. I especially hate if said dog is not on a leash and the owner thinks hey my dog is friendly, everyone wants to play and pet them. No, they do not, sorry. But in your case @Jen_Shoes if I was going to your house with my kids, they would be in my arms the whole time.
Regarding the whole Santa/present thing, I say you do you and your traditions and not worry about anyone else. Growing up, we only got presents from Santa and never from my parents. I never thought twice about it. Now that I'm adult, I do think that was kinda weird, but it never bothered me. Now with my kids, we do presents from Santa and from us. We also do Elf on the Shelf, but we only move them from place to place. The joy on their faces when they find them is pure bliss.
My UO, I hate the FB posts on Christmas/Christmas Eve when you show all of your presents under the tree, it's like it's gloating, look what I bought for my kids!
I also think the elf is v. creepy. However, my 3 year old has really tested my limits lately and I've been toying with getting one to "watch and report" back to Santa. I swore I'd never do it and I probably won't.
I don't mind lurkers in general as I was a lurker on my last bmb. I do mind AW'ing one-off personal details about yourself, like an U/S or announcement. It just seems so stupid and clearly those folks aren't sticking around to lurk. They are literally walking into a room of strangers, announcing medical/personal info, and then running out.
My UO: I think perpetuating woo myths on the internet is ridiculous. Vicks on your feet or a potato or onion in your sock do jack shit for your cold. If that actually worked, doctors would have prescribed it for decades and drug companies would have harnessed that power to create something expensive. Every time someone shares one of those myths on the internet, another handful of people believe that crap. **Politics trigger** This is probably how Trump was elected.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
@kat81 I agree I don't care for dogs I do have cats though. However, when people come over I shoo my cats away from them and even sometimes shut them in the bedroom. They are very affectionate and one in particular is an AW. I don't want others and our visit to be interrupted. I also agree about the kids. I don't expect people to love my child just because I do. In fact it annoys me when people think I should fall over there kids. My past losses often make it hard for me, especially with babies. Let me show interest in them don't force them on me.
My UO is helicopter parents. You have no idea what you are creating. They will never be able to live a life without you involved. Don't you want them to grow up and be a successful teenager/college student /adult? The world is hard, use difficulties as teachable moments so they can handle it themselves next time. Set them up for a successful life.
EDD: 06/25/2006 M/C: 11/03/2005
EDD: 04/08/2012 M/C: 09/03/2011
EDD: 12/27/2012 Born Sleeping: 07/19/2012
EDD: 12/07/2013 M/C 05/30/2013 & 05/31/2013
EDD: 07/01/2016 Born sleeping: 03/02/2016
My UO: I've been building my baby registry (FTM here) and realized that I can't stand kiddie printed designs. You know, the crib sheets with the repeated monkeys riding rockets or elephants and bananas and such, all in bold colors. It's not like I should care much, but I guess I'm sensitive to aesthetics. Who designs this stuff?!
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
I'm also the girl in the corner at a party petting the house dog or cat.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
I agree about the dog thing. I generally like most animals but since I had my son I've become much more leery about other peoples dog. It drives my husband and I crazy when we take our son to the park and there's all these dogs running around without leashes when there's signs that specifically say to have your dog on a leash. There has been several times where dogs have been running full speed at my stroller and their owner is yelling "its ok they are nice".. maybe your dog is nice but your dog is huge and I'm scared its going to bite my child (Irish wolf hound). Also when we walk around our neighborhood and peoples dogs are barking as us while they are in their own yards it still makes us nervous. A neighbors pit bull got out and went after one of the neighbor kids.
I know totally different than people coming to your house... But I also don't like when I go to someone's house and their dog is jumping all over me slobbering.
My UO is that I don't like drama. I can handle a bit of it on t.v. and the Internet (though I don't go looking for it), but IRL it makes me so uncomfortable. My school district's teacher break rooms are fraught with gossip and drama and I always feel bad for whoever is the target. I keep thinking: these are real people with real lives, and problems, and feelings.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
However, I am on the train of "if you have a big slobbery dog, don't let them goober me." I'm a dog lover x100 but I think my dog has spoiled me because he's pretty clean, doesn't really shed and is so incredibly sweet. Also, I am not a cat person (allergic) and they tend to not like me - I think they can sense that I'm not a fan. So, long story short, I see both sides.
@mcvgal I'm the one that posted that link, so I guess it's no surprise that I agree. I am still pretty old-fashioned about a lot of the etiquette rules (though I readily accept that some need to be loosened), and I feel like invitations should be sent in the mail. Facebook is far too informal, IMO. That thread had me clutching my proverbial pearls a few times!
I thought I had a UO, but it's gone. I'll be back, I'm sure!
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
I do understand the annoyance of off-leash dogs in non off-leash areas. That's not cool. I also understand being wary of strange dogs around babies/kids. I love dogs and am not scared of them, but I also acknowledged that they are animals and that they can do serious damage if they want to. My dog is given pretty much free range around my son because I know and trust her- but strange dogs, not so much.
Re: baby shower invites- I agree that FB is a no-go...but I am all about evite.com. We (my MIL) used that for our baby shower, and it was so freaking easy. That being said, my family and friends aren't ones to mind that, and they tend to use evite for their events as well, so I know no one would mind. It's easier for the host to keep track of who has responded, easy for guests to change their responses (fewer no-shows who RSVP yes), and they don't have to mail anything. I'm a fan.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Drama IRL can suck. I don't mind a little but as long I'm not smack dab in the middle of it. I do enjoy watching drama go down where it's deserved. I'm totally loving the alpaca thread
The elf thing is like whatever. Granted, I have a 2yo and I might change my mind later but at the same time I don't hear grandparents going oh my god I wish we had that when you were kids. As for telling the truth about Santa, it's their business. But if you choose to tell your kids from the start, make sure they don't ruin that magic for others! I hate hearing the stories where a 6yo comes home from school and said I was told this, is this true. Just no.
Facebook invites, I'm like whatever about. I personally prefer snail mail invites but that's just me.
Dogs.. I love them, can't get enough and want one (or two) in the next five years when the kiddos are a little older. But I do prefer that they learn to not jump on people. I have friends who don't like dogs and one would avoid my house completely because we had a very excitable mutt.
The lurker stuff, I don't care if there are lurkers although the AW type do annoy me. Like.. why? I'm just more intrigued by those who posted a few times in the past then all of a sudden stopped but can see that they are still logging in. I think the people that come in and post a random question when it's not necessary (or can be done in the random thread) are those who just made a new account just so they could ask. Silly drive-bye-rs.
(I will agree with @pshaortao that I think if you don't do Santa, you do have a bit of a responsibility to teach your kids not to ruin it for others.)
@Jen_Shoes, I half agree with you in that I hate when people hate my pets for no reason (I have a dog and a cat), but I still dislike when I go to someone's house and their pet is jumping on me/pawing at me. I just find it awkward and uncomfortable. I always go with it and pet the dog, etc, but I don't LIKE it.
@kat81, I hate Elf on a Shelf. I can still somehow see myself getting guilted into it down the line if my son sees it at someone else's house and wonders where his is...ugh...
My UO is that I don't really like small children. I love my son, obviously, but I don't always like him. And I really don't like most people's small children, the shrieking, crying, tantrums, general life disruptions, etc. Don't get me wrong, we planned for the family we have and I love my son and this unborn little girl, but I'm greatly looking forward to both of them being a little older.
I think the term "helicopter parent" is way overused. I think hovering is fine for the younger kid safety issues listed above. Also, sometime there's no one at the park for DD to play with. Maybe she's the only one there or kids are different ages. There's nothing wrong with a parent climbing along and having fun with a kid on the equipment. I do however judge the crap out of germaphobe parents. I recently witnessed a friend tell their kid that if she touched the floor of the restaurant, her hand would fall off. Crazy.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
Lol I do not let him off leash in inappropriate places (public) and he's fantastic with my neices (4 & 2) and doesn't jump on them. He does lick, but it doesn't leave slobber, and he doesn't shed. I'm also good about holding him with strangers and people he doesn't know even when they come to our house. But for my mom or MIL I don't because they know him.
I'm allergic to cats so I don't touch them, but I'm not rude to them.
I think being cautious when your children are little is fine, but once your kids are in middle school, you should back off a bit.
I don't prefer Facebook invites, and I wouldn't do it for myself but I don't get offended if I get one.