@MrsFreeman2010 Totally normal but understandably jarring. Everyone does this their own way, but I'd suggest using whatever approach feels right for you. Many people are open with their kiddos (even at 2) and use anatomically correct words to talk about body parts and how we are different/alike. Our DD went through a phase where she would talk about body parts all the time and now (at nearly 3.5) she doesn't unless it's really relevant.
In regards to nudity and showering with kids. I'm new to being a parent, so I don't know exactly how I'll handle it, but I agree with using proper anatomical terms. And I think a level of openness and teaching kids that bodies are not something to be ashamed of is important. I came from a family that really didn't talk about most things, and my parents were never remotely affectionate towards each other in front of us (they are now that we're grown up). As a result, myself and my brothers all have issues with intimacy. It's something I still work on with my husband, who intimacy comes easy to. It can be hard for him to understand sometimes how difficult a simple action is for me, because I'm very modest, I don't like being nude, and I have a really hard time initiating romance or talking about things. So, I definitely want to be more open and affectionate with my kids, and I'll need to work on setting a better example of body image comfort.
We use proper terms when the topic comes up. For instance, she hasnt asked about boys so I don't think she knows the word "penis." If she gets a little brother, I'm sure it will be a hot topic for awhile. Recently, DH took DD to the zoo. While in a large crowd, he asked her if she had to go to the bathroom and she loudly proclaimed, "No, Dad. Nothing needs to come out of my butt or my bagina." So I guess a more specific anatomy lesson is now in order.
We use proper terms when the topic comes up. For instance, she hasnt asked about boys so I don't think she knows the word "penis." If she gets a little brother, I'm sure it will be a hot topic for awhile. Recently, DH took DD to the zoo. While in a large crowd, he asked her if she had to go to the bathroom and she loudly proclaimed, "No, Dad. Nothing needs to come out of my butt or my bagina." So I guess a more specific anatomy lesson is now in order.
Ha! When younger daughter was smaller, patting her bottom used to calm her down, so older daughter still does it a lot. The other day older daughter randomly shouted "I pat sister's bottom, not her bagina! Only sister can pat her bagina!"
We definitely plan on using correct terms. We've used them a couple times but she hasn't cared to really learn or repeat them. With a little boy on the way I'm sure it will become much more common talk. DH doesn't understand why we even need to have the conversation with her but I think it's super important that she knows what to call them if anything ever happened.
I'm so relieved there are others questioning what to do about Santa, and agree that you have a responsibility to teach your child descretion to not ruin it for other kids. I'm Jewish and my spouse isn't, so I've wondered what to do, so I'm glad to read everyone's perspectives.
My UO is related: I hate when people wish everyone a blanket "Merry Christmas" this time of year, assuming everyone celebrates it. I bite my tongue every time, sometimes forcing a "Happy Holidays" out or if I'm particularly salty, I'll wish them a "Happy Chanukah." I know it's a pleasantry and people are being kind and it shouldn't bother me as much as it does.
As it's both Christmas Eve and Chanukah right now, Happy Holidays to all! (Btw, is Kwanzaa still celebrated? I don't hear much of it anymore like we used to a few years back. Please educate me if you know!)
@chailife34 see that annoys me, I will wish everyone I see a merry Christmas, because I celebrate Christmas, if you don't I'm quite happy for you to return my greeting with an "and a happy Chanukah to you" and we can both be on our way. I feel like "happy holidays" is making the issue worse and rather than acknowledging that everyone celebrates different holidays (as it's intended) it's actually ignoring that fact entirely and not celebrating the diversity of the world.
ETA: my phone thinks "celebrate" has a "v" in it...
Me - 22 | DH - 32 | Married - 24 May 2014 DS - January 2014
TTC#2 - December 2015
BFP - 6 March 2016 | MC Confirmed - 21 March 2016 TTCAL | April 2016 CP | June 2016 CP | July 2016
@chailife34 and @PartiallyDomesticated It doesn't bother me when people use whatever greeting they like. I think that's perfectly fine. However, I always wish people a Happy Holidays, and I don't see why that would be a problem. I don't think it's ignoring the diversity of the world at all. It encompasses everyone's chosen celebration without making someone stand there as I rattle off a bunch of religious holidays and otherwise. There are so many more than the few that the majority celebrate.
@starphish18 I'm right there with you having intimacy issues due to my parents lack of education. I didn't even know I had a hole between the butt and where I go pee till sex ed in 5th grade. I have issues say penis and vagina and initiating sex is me walking my fingers over dh shoulder asking if he'd like to get frisky then he'll laugh at me. I'm not comfortable trying to get him going w my hand it's really frustrating. I don't want my little guys having shameful feelings about themselves @PartiallyDomesticated my phone thinks there has a g in it
I prefer to say "Happy Holidays" to acknowledge that not everyone celebrates the same holiday. I would feel bad if I wished someone a "Merry Christmas" and later found out they were Jewish. That said, I take absolutely no offense in anyone wishing me any holiday greeting. How are they supposed to know what I celebrate?
Dogs: i like them for the most part, but I don't trust them around my kids. I have a really hard time when we go to finances mom's for Christmas because everyone brings their dogs (so 5 running around) and they will fight and it gets scary. I do my best to keep her away but it's really hard. Especially last night when DD was holding a ball and two of the bigger ones started fighting basically on top of her and almost bit her... I was livid... my child > your .... dog not sorry about that.
bath: DD is 3 and she doesn't shower with us, however she is around when we are showering or getting dressed. We are starting to try to close the doors and have fiancé be more modest... but she's hasn't really ever said anything about daddy being different. We also haven't taught her vagina, we just say "wipe your front". When baby boy comes I'm sure the topic will come up and we will teach her the proper terms then. It really just hasn't came up yet
Christmas/happy holidays: I wish everyone a "Merry Christmas" but if someone wants to say back "happy holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah" etc I am not offended at all. I'm aware not everyone celebrates my holidays.
Helicopter parenting: I'm guilty, but trying to give DD some more space. She just turned 3. However she is very adjusted and can do most things for herself so I think we've had a happy middle ground.
Re: UO 12/22
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bagina." So I guess a more specific anatomy lesson is now in order.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
My UO is related: I hate when people wish everyone a blanket "Merry Christmas" this time of year, assuming everyone celebrates it. I bite my tongue every time, sometimes forcing a "Happy Holidays" out or if I'm particularly salty, I'll wish them a "Happy Chanukah." I know it's a pleasantry and people are being kind and it shouldn't bother me as much as it does.
As it's both Christmas Eve and Chanukah right now, Happy Holidays to all! (Btw, is Kwanzaa still celebrated? I don't hear much of it anymore like we used to a few years back. Please educate me if you know!)
ETA: my phone thinks "celebrate" has a "v" in it...
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
@PartiallyDomesticated my phone thinks there has a g in it
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
bath: DD is 3 and she doesn't shower with us, however she is around when we are showering or getting dressed. We are starting to try to close the doors and have fiancé be more modest... but she's hasn't really ever said anything about daddy being different. We also haven't taught her vagina, we just say "wipe your front". When baby boy comes I'm sure the topic will come up and we will teach her the proper terms then. It really just hasn't came up yet
Christmas/happy holidays: I wish everyone a "Merry Christmas" but if someone wants to say back "happy holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah" etc I am not offended at all. I'm aware not everyone celebrates my holidays.
Helicopter parenting: I'm guilty, but trying to give DD some more space. She just turned 3. However she is very adjusted and can do most things for herself so I think we've had a happy middle ground.