UO Time?

LuLiLaEv · December 2016

AdaByron said:

Just because the "Read this first" thread is there, doesn't mean we're bound to those rules. Not all of those threads get started every week, and that's fine. Some extra threads get started every week, and that's great! I'm signed up for Friday Ticker Change, but I have only actually started it once because someone gets here before me most Fridays, and that's perfectly fine. If you don't like the guidelines, ignore them. If you like them, follow them. It's really not that serious.

This! Why is everyone making such a big deal about the rules?! If you don't like them, ignore them, it's a public forum and no one can tell anyone what to do or not to do as long as it's not violating the TOU! If you want to post something, do it! If you're not interested, skip it and move along. I'm so sick of reading about it!

longhairdntcare · December 2016

Fuck the rules. It's the internet and I do what I want.
Image result for rules meme

cssme13 · December 2016

i don't think the "rules" are as strict as some of you ladies think they are. They are really there to prevent 400 posts about morning sickness or when we get closer, 400 posts about "is this a contraction or gas?" I also think that having more organized posts helps us to not miss when something major happens I.e a loss. If you have a legitimate topic that isn't completely covered then post about it.

hqinmd · December 2016

lol at all the ladies saying to ignore the rules. I mean, I am as amused by the drama as anyone, but are you hoping for it? Because as soon as people start ignoring the rules, someone WILL harp on them about not using the designated threads (because it's already happened) and then drama!!!111

I don't care either way, for the record.

longhairdntcare · December 2016

the only 'rules' I really agree with are the main threads.. like symptoms (I don't want to see 50 posts about morning sickness), Ultrasounds, etc.

In general, I think its common sense. Look at the boards, if you have something to discuss that doesn't fit in one of the main categories, start a thread.

AdaByron · December 2016

For reasonable people, the read this first thread helps us stay organized. So if someone forgets which day we do UO's, you have a place to check. But for the people who don't know how a good BMB works, it's not going help anything. People who can't be bothered to check the Symptoms Thread before posting about their SS morning sickness are definitely not going to read the entirety of the RTF thread before deciding whether to post. Some of that stuff is inevitable, and people learn what's obnoxious and what's not by being told if they should have posted in the Symptoms Thread. Some people just have to learn the hard way.

So I guess I'm not taking a side. I'm not totally against rules, but I think the RTF thread is way too long and confusing and nothing is really going to solve the problem of unnecessary repeat threads.

AdaByron · December 2016

And in general, I think it's really important for people to feel comfortable starting a thread if they have something they think is thread-worthy.

caribbeanmama-2 · December 2016

Just because we got here first doesn't mean it's okay to set up an artificial structure that only insiders know is a loose guide and that intimidates newbies from starting new threads. I know this was not the intention but it comes across that way. Some gentle re-wording and deleting of assigned topic lists could go a long way in creating a 'Read this first' thread that is more agreeable, less didactic, and more consistent with how BMB boards have been organized over the last 2 years. Saying the rules aren't strict and to simply ignore the rules is not really helpful in erasing the confusion that it currently creates.

AdaByron · December 2016

@caribbeanmama I agree with you.

@osucma do you think you could edit the "Read This First" thread to make it less intimidating?

Or is there someone who is good with words who wants to write up something to replace it?

morgarita · December 2016

While I'm beginning to like the sass you all are displaying. Posting something on the symptoms list feels more like a general discussion not asking for help. If there's a separate post it gets more responses rather than the one or two and then getting buried before anyone else gets a chance to post a response.

torichantel2005 · December 2016

I just thought of a very big UO. No one is going to like this. I hate gender reveal parties. I will forever be confused why we have to have parties for everything (for the record, I feel the same way about engagement parties). I mean, what is the actual point of these things? What happened to just telling people things? Seems a lot of hoopla for something that, while super exciting for the parents and maybe grandparents, means very little to anyone else.

chiquita928 · December 2016

@torichantel2005 They're not my thing either.

spk112 · December 2016

torichantel2005 said:

I just thought of a very big UO. No one is going to like this. I hate gender reveal parties. I will forever be confused why we have to have parties for everything (for the record, I feel the same way about engagement parties). I mean, what is the actual point of these things? What happened to just telling people things? Seems a lot of hoopla for something that, while super exciting for the parents and maybe grandparents, means very little to anyone else.

Not an UO to me. I feel like they're very AW-ish.

mama2stepmama · December 2016

torichantel2005 said:

I just thought of a very big UO. No one is going to like this. I hate gender reveal parties. I will forever be confused why we have to have parties for everything (for the record, I feel the same way about engagement parties). I mean, what is the actual point of these things? What happened to just telling people things? Seems a lot of hoopla for something that, while super exciting for the parents and maybe grandparents, means very little to anyone else.

Yes! I think they are so lame.

mars8k · December 2016

torichantel2005 said:

I just thought of a very big UO. No one is going to like this. I hate gender reveal parties. I will forever be confused why we have to have parties for everything (for the record, I feel the same way about engagement parties). I mean, what is the actual point of these things? What happened to just telling people things? Seems a lot of hoopla for something that, while super exciting for the parents and maybe grandparents, means very little to anyone else.

I would hate to get invited to 1 of someone i don't care much about but i think small ones are cute. I'm planning on doing a small 1 for my mum, siblings, their kids and my best friends. But those are people who are just as excited to find out as i am.

But i get you though i would hate to get invited to a cousin's party for example i mean congrats but what do i care lol

goodtimesally · December 2016

So what if someone starts *another* thread about something that was already discussed on page 34 of the designated Symptoms thread? Chances are someone here doesn't care if it is redundant and has the patience to reply to them or even just actually wants to reply. The thread won't "clog" the board. It will probably fall the bottom and not even been seen on the first page after the day has gone by. I'm sorry but I've been bumping for a long ass time and this structure stuff is off-putting and now apparently there aren't/never were any rules? Seems like back-peddling. Unless someone is violating actual TB terms of service or whatever then I think we are
allowed to post whenever and whatever we want without being policed. The lack of organization on my last BMB was actually what made it more interesting.

LuLiLaEv · December 2016

Could someone maybe point out in the "Read This First" what you find offensive or "too structured", where you find the rules you don't like?

I read through it again and didn't find any kind of rules or it telling me what I can and can't post. It's a guideline.

It's how the people who were here first set up the board to run smoothly and in an organized manner. It's to keep away 100 posts about morning sickensss and everyone posting their "Dear Diary" posts for attention.

Is this going to be an issue for the next 6-7ish months?!

torichantel2005 · December 2016

LuLiLaEv said:

Could someone maybe point out in the "Read This First" what you find offensive or "too structured", where you find the rules you don't like?

I read through it again and didn't find any kind of rules or it telling me what I can and can't post. It's a guideline.

It's how the people who were here first set up the board to run smoothly and in an organized manner. It's to keep away 100 posts about morning sickensss and everyone posting their "Dear Diary" posts for attention.

Is this going to be an issue for the next 6-7ish months?!

I don't disagree with you. I understand the concern, but if anyone doesn't want to follow the guidelines, then don't. I, too, think it needs to stop being brought up. We are beating a dead horse at this point.

thatcma · December 2016

Sorry I have been MIA in regards to all this discussion my DH's birthday was yesterday so we had a family gathering.
@adabyron I can no longer edit the read this first thread, it's only editable for 1 month from creation. If someone wants to re-write it, that's fine, I don't really care.
I agree with @lulilaev "read this first" is a guideline. I looked through it again and don't see anything that dictates "if you don't follow these rules you need to leave. Perhaps I shouldn't have bolded things, but oh well. My big thing is that I also don't want to keep seeing the same thread started about the same subject which we have all seen/chimed in on 100 times before.
Overall I do agree with @torichantel2005 I think at this point we stop bringing it up. I think the board is going to flow how it's going to flow regardless of what the "read this first" thread says. Also at this point we should really have all the people on here we are going to have so I think that thread will become less of a concern.

francinek-2 · December 2016

UO- I can't handle it when someone who has never been pregnant before thinks they are an expert on it. I had a girlfriend (never been pregnant) argue with me the other day about having a glass of wine. (She kept saying "one glass is fine") Now I know that there are different opinions on that but come on, if I say that's not something I do when I'm pregnant get off my back!

satsumasandlemons · December 2016

@FrancineK , I'm also going to add to yours and say I can't handle it when someone who HAS been pregnant before thinks they're an expert on it, too. EVERY pregnancy is different. Just because you also gestated and gave birth does not mean you are an expert on my pregnancy. The only people who are experts on my pregnancy: my doctor and me.

virginiaunicorn11 · December 2016

I know it is grammatically correct, but I hate the word nauseated. I just want to be able to say that I am "nauseous" without worrying that my fellow grammar nerds are writing me off.

RunRestRepeat · December 2016

Hahaha, @virginiaunicorn11! I'll have to admit to being one of the grammar nerds (hangs head in shame). Seeing posts about how "nauseous" people are drives me INSANE! Though I do flash back to the scene in Never Been Kissed every time and it makes me want to watch it again!

OperaSingerMommy · December 2016

RunRestRepeat said:

Hahaha, @virginiaunicorn11! I'll have to admit to being one of the grammar nerds (hangs head in shame). Seeing posts about how "nauseous" people are drives me INSANE! Though I do flash back to the scene in Never Been Kissed every time and it makes me want to watch it again!

Yes, Never Been Kissed! I immediately thought of that movie when I read these comments. I miss all of those chick flicks from the middle school/high school days.

francinek-2 · December 2016

@satsumasandlemons YES! Don't get me going! The other thing that pissed me off last time was all the "blogs" started by the new moms in my life that had their first babies around the time I had mine. "The working mom" blog, the "fitness mom" blog, the "I am a champion breastfeeder" blog. Just because you've been a mom for a fraction of a couple months gives you the expertise to write and give advice to others??? NO..... just no. If I have a question about babies or parenting I'm talking to my doctor or my own mother who has the stories of 5 successful adult children to speak from. Eye roll.

virginiaunicorn11 · December 2016

FrancineK said:

@satsumasandlemons YES! Don't get me going! The other thing that pissed me off last time was all the "blogs" started by the new moms in my life that had their first babies around the time I had mine. "The working mom" blog, the "fitness mom" blog, the "I am a champion breastfeeder" blog. Just because you've been a mom for a fraction of a couple months gives you the expertise to write and give advice to others??? NO..... just no. If I have a question about babies or parenting I'm talking to my doctor or my own mother who has the stories of 5 successful adult children to speak from. Eye roll.

Wow, really? I have the opposite response to new mom blogs. I thought the whole point of blogs is to share your experience and what you've learned. Why do you have to be an expert to share? Unless they were encouraging you to read their blogs instead of calling your doctor, I don't see why it is so awful for new moms to start a blog. Seems like a great outlet for some women.

Personally, I also really counted on the new mom friends who had a baby 3 months before me. These were my most important supporters. They just went through it and knew exactly what I was going through. My mom and other seasoned mothers tended to forget what it was really like, or gave outdated advice (like, "oh, just use the crib bumpers and let him sleep on his belly. You turned out fine".) Certainly there were times my mother helped more than a new mom friend, but I don't think one is better or more expert than the other - they just play different roles, both of which I really need.

francinek-2 · December 2016

@virginiaunicorn11 there is a difference between sharing your experience with your friends,which I did many times in groups and one on one, and writing an advice column on the subject. What I am saying is that the older more experienced advice of a seasoned parent who has seen how their choices and experiences have shaped their children long term are more valuable to me than the advice of someone that is still in it. I think the mutual sharing between friends that are raising children of similar ages is invaluable and something I need in my life. That's why I'm on TB but I just think it's a little obnoxious and AW-ish to publicly document every waking moment of your life w your newborn. Again this is my opinion!

virginiaunicorn11 · December 2016

I don't know the tone of the blogs you're talking about, but it's the UO thread, so that's perfect. We can agree to disagree!

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