UO: I don't understand posting US pics here. It's just a huge thread with 100 nearly identical photos. I have zero interest in looking at a hundred US pics that all look just like every other US pic I've ever seen, and I wouldn't expect anyone to care to look at mine if I posted it.
I think it's because people want to post them and that's where they can.
My UO....I DO NOT like Pentatonix. Yeah maybe the concept was cool for like 1 or 2 songs. Yes, they are talented. But I think they are waaaaay overrated.
Nooooo! Who doesn't like Pentatonix?!?
Haha, jk all musical tastes make the world go round . I'm just super proud of them as a former a cappella dork!
UO: I don't understand posting US pics here. It's just a huge thread with 100 nearly identical photos. I have zero interest in looking at a hundred US pics that all look just like every other US pic I've ever seen, and I wouldn't expect anyone to care to look at mine if I posted it.
I think it's because people want to post them and that's where they can.
It is beneficial to have a place to catch the crap nobody wants to look at. There are literally pics in there from people who haven't posted a single other comment on the board. That's pretty much the epitome of AW-ing.
UO: I don't understand posting US pics here. It's just a huge thread with 100 nearly identical photos. I have zero interest in looking at a hundred US pics that all look just like every other US pic I've ever seen, and I wouldn't expect anyone to care to look at mine if I posted it.
This is why I haven't posted mine - it's just a little blob and I can't imagine anyone giving a rat's patoot. I don't mind that others are excited about it though, and I'm happy they have a place to share.
The ultrasound thread for me is useful. I post bc I enjoy seeing other posts, but mostly I do it bc if I make a comment on another thread (PGAL, or weekly appointments namely), then I figure the ultrasound thread is the place to put the good news updates (especially if the thread is an older one from a previous week). That said, I don't find it cool when people post there but don't participate at all otherwise.
O I am so going to get flamed I know it... but my unpopular opinion is that people who feel a disconnect with their baby should have their own thread. I know it's a real issue and it's terrible to criticize... but after struggling so so hard to get pregnant, I just don't want to come across another "I don't feel anything for my baby" post. Sorry. i went back and forth with this one. I have some sympathy, but mostly I don't. Its probably just because I'm a FTM and I don't get what that's like at all to not feel any connection. Go ahead flame away, but know that I admitted to not knowing what it's like and feeling like a jerk for criticizing.
Last time I was super active on TB was 2011-2012. Our June 2011 group migrated to FB and so I just never posted here since. Our board was the "nice" one, unicorns and rainbows all the way, which is how I am, so I fit in perfectly, but I appreciate some good snark and appropriate flaming, and I'm sarcastic with a dry sense of humor, so I can hold my own around the snark though I will always blow sunshine and rainbows up your butt because that's just who I am. Lol Anyway, my point to all this is about how differently the boards are about starting posts. I absolutely understand why there are all these rules, it makes sense and keeps things organized. I abide by the rules and don't think it's that big of a deal, but I do feel it's made the board a bit dead. Not much posting is happening because people are probably doubting whether it's ok to post or not. So I get both sides, I really do. I enjoy the board not being cluttered, but I also miss the hustle and bustle of an active board with many different topics. There are pros and cons to anything I guess. I think that as we all get more comfortable with each other and get a better feel of each other's personalities, we'll feel more comfortable starting our own posts? Still so many more months to come!
@cmandzak723 so as someone whose delt with infertility and recurrent loss, not connecting is a way to protect my emotions from that kind of heart ache again. I don't doubt that I'll connect when things get a little farther but yeah...it's not easy and I don't think anyone chooses to not connect.
Edit bc autocorrect put headache ache and not heart ache.
@cmandzak723 I don't think it's a bad idea for them to have their own thread, because it is tough and everyone here deserves support for whatever they're going through.
And I'm not going to flame you but just because you or others may have struggled on any level doesn't mean others feelings aren't valid.
I hate the "first world problems" type of thing. There is always someone somewhere in the world who has it worse. Doesn't mean people can't be upset or struggle with their own issues.
Only asking this here because this thread seems to be popular right now and I have been curious for a while...can someone who was around back in the day explain what that 'mass exodus' was...or rather, why it happened? I have heard so many people talk about it but nobody ever goes into detail about what happened!!
UO - I have never watched a single episode of Gilmore Girls and honestly have no desire too.
@irishrose54 I know what you mean and I'm not trying to criticize specifically for not connecting. More for posting about it everywhere. I just wish it were its own thread. I struggle with infertility as well. And for me it's the total opposite. I feel like a starving person who is watching people talk about how much food they have and it being a problem. I know disconnecting with the growing baby is a real thing and there are a lot of reasons why it could happen. What's interesting about what you do is that I do that to people every day. I have maybe one real friend because i am so afraid of being disappointed by people. But I generally don't talk about it because it is my choice to act like that and I know it. As I said, I know i have a difference of opinion and I don't want to tell you that you should feel any different from how you do. I just think that it should have its own thread because it is a reoccurring topic almost everywhere I look and I personally feel upset to see it. Whether that's right or wrong, it's just an emotion that I cannot help. I'm sorry about your struggle. Everyone reacts to heartache differently. It's like people giving a warning about a TW in their post. I just wish the disconnect topic had its own thread.
This is could all also be pregnancy hormones making me a crybaby about it too. Who knows...
@rae. UO... You're not missing much I used to love it when it was new but now it's quite dated and full of fluff. I don't think it passes the timelessness test.
@Cait32 I understand and appreciate the sensitivity in your reply to my post. But I just want to point out that there is a mental health check in thread though right? Because it is its own sensitive topic. it's also one that I have lurked in because I feel like I can relate to a lot of the issues brought up there but do not feel comfortable sharing on it yet. If there were a thread dedicated to this disconnection topic that keeps coming up, then I could know it upsets me and avoid it just like some days I know I emotionally cannot handle TW posts. And someone feeling bad about cancer is not quite the same as feeling a disconnect to a child. Also I didnt say that their feelings were a bummer and drag me down. I am saying that they are upsetting me because I feel quite the opposite reaction to the unborn child because of my own personal struggle. So yes, I am going to stick to my guns here and say that it deserves its own thread because A- it is clearly an important issue that needs likeminded people to come together for support and B- because it upsets people (or maybe I'm the only one... I've admitted pregnancy hormones got me a little crybaby like lately). But it was just my suggestion. I have found in the past that I have kept quiet and haven't said anything thinking I'm the only one, then when I speak out a lot of people are siliently relieved. Maybe not the case this time. Who knows? Again I appreciate your sensitive reply and hope that everything goes well for you.
I hate the "first world problems" type of thing. There is always someone somewhere in the world who has it worse. Doesn't mean people can't be upset or struggle with their own issues.
Thank you! That term implies that we aren't entitled to discuss anything because we live in a stable country. Not useful, just a way of invalidating others. Always seems to be first world people who say it too
Not trying to call you out @flipflopped! The term has always annoyed me so I jumped on the bandwagon.
@Cait32 I understand and appreciate the sensitivity in your reply to my post. But I just want to point out that there is a mental health check in thread though right? Because it is its own sensitive topic. it's also one that I have lurked in because I feel like I can relate to a lot of the issues brought up there but do not feel comfortable sharing on it yet. If there were a thread dedicated to this disconnection topic that keeps coming up, then I could know it upsets me and avoid it just like some days I know I emotionally cannot handle TW posts. And someone feeling bad about cancer is not quite the same as feeling a disconnect to a child. Also I didnt say that their feelings were a bummer and drag me down. I am saying that they are upsetting me because I feel quite the opposite reaction to the unborn child because of my own personal struggle. So yes, I am going to stick to my guns here and say that it deserves its own thread because A- it is clearly an important issue that needs likeminded people to come together for support and B- because it upsets people (or maybe I'm the only one... I've admitted pregnancy hormones got me a little crybaby like lately). But it was just my suggestion. I have found in the past that I have kept quiet and haven't said anything thinking I'm the only one, then when I speak out a lot of people are siliently relieved. Maybe not the case this time. Who knows? Again I appreciate your sensitive reply and hope that everything goes well for you.
I have no idea why you feel that you need protection from my feelings? Nope, sorry, not gonna hide in a corner because my "abnormal" feelings upset you.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
Only asking this here because this thread seems to be popular right now and I have been curious for a while...can someone who was around back in the day explain what that 'mass exodus' was...or rather, why it happened? I have heard so many people talk about it but nobody ever goes into detail about what happened!!
UO - I have never watched a single episode of Gilmore Girls and honestly have no desire too.
^^^^ All of this. I want to know the drama.
Also never watched/never want to watch Gilmore Girls.
@hqinmd thank you for not flaming me. lol I knew that it was a possibility that people would. But everyone has been very respectful of my unpopular opinion.
I knew it would be an unpopular opinion but i brought it up anyway. And I would only bring it up in this thread. I wouldn't never (intentionally) try to make someone feel bad in direct response to their post about a mental health issue. Just as we want to be caring and supportive to everyone's concerns and mental/physical health, we also want to be sensitive to trigger topics. And this was one for me. I once made a poll on the glow app about a very sensitive topic and what was interesting was that all the comments were basically berating me for even beinging it up and how terrible I was. But in the poll section, the opinions were about 50/50. So people were getting upset along with me but we're too afraid to speak up. That's the only reason I mentioned it. In case I wasn't the only one feeling this way.
... I absolutely understand why there are all these rules, it makes sense and keeps things organized. I abide by the rules and don't think it's that big of a deal, but I do feel it's made the board a bit dead. Not much posting is happening because people are probably doubting whether it's ok to post or not. So I get both sides, I really do. I enjoy the board not being cluttered, but I also miss the hustle and bustle of an active board with many different topics. There are pros and cons to anything I guess. I think that as we all get more comfortable with each other and get a better feel of each other's personalities, we'll feel more comfortable starting our own posts?
Yes! I was very active in my May 2013 and November 2014 boards and am still active on both FB pages and have NEVER seen such "rules". (Nor such a dead board)
@cmandzak723 okay I get what you meant by your uo now. for me, it being its own thread would not be something I'd participate in but I also get why you're saying and you're obviously entitled to your opinion on it. Sorry for your struggle with IF it's really the worst
@tsarina and @hqinmd It takes a lot to offend me. I only use it on things that aren't really a thing. Like in this situation it's not like you can't post places you just don't have 'your' place yet. 'Problems' that aren't really a problem are 1st world to me. Maybe my UO is that not yet having a BMB isn't really an issue.
@cmandzak723 I get where you're coming from. Keep in mind that feeling disconnected from the pregnancy doesn't mean that someone doesn't want the baby or the pregnancy. I hope you understand that there are many women who have struggled to get pregnant who feel a disconnect. Imagine then how upset they are that can't seem to connect with the baby. Early in a pregnancy especially, many women feel this way. It's great that you don't, but I wonder why you have such a strong reaction to another woman's feelings (that she can't control and would prefer to be different).
You should also know that this isn't necessarily a 'mental health' issue. Some pregnant women who are depressed have trouble connecting, but many mentally healthy women do too. So lumping it in with mental illness is inaccurate.
@flipflopped Ha! I forgot you'd used that phrase at all when I posted, and I agree that is super trivial and don't mind the phrase used in that way. (I was so confused that you commented to me!)
I was really trying to get at the mindset I see a lot of "there are women who can't get pregnant so you shouldn't complain about x, y, or z." Not feeling connected to your growing baby is a thing, even if someone else can't relate to it.
@Cait32 I understand and appreciate the sensitivity in your reply to my post. But I just want to point out that there is a mental health check in thread though right? Because it is its own sensitive topic. it's also one that I have lurked in because I feel like I can relate to a lot of the issues brought up there but do not feel comfortable sharing on it yet. If there were a thread dedicated to this disconnection topic that keeps coming up, then I could know it upsets me and avoid it just like some days I know I emotionally cannot handle TW posts. And someone feeling bad about cancer is not quite the same as feeling a disconnect to a child. Also I didnt say that their feelings were a bummer and drag me down. I am saying that they are upsetting me because I feel quite the opposite reaction to the unborn child because of my own personal struggle. So yes, I am going to stick to my guns here and say that it deserves its own thread because A- it is clearly an important issue that needs likeminded people to come together for support and B- because it upsets people (or maybe I'm the only one... I've admitted pregnancy hormones got me a little crybaby like lately). But it was just my suggestion. I have found in the past that I have kept quiet and haven't said anything thinking I'm the only one, then when I speak out a lot of people are siliently relieved. Maybe not the case this time. Who knows? Again I appreciate your sensitive reply and hope that everything goes well for you.
I have no idea why you feel that you need protection from my feelings? Nope, sorry, not gonna hide in a corner because my "abnormal" feelings upset you.
Because they effect my feelings. I'm not TELLING you to do anything. I was suggesting it has its own thread because it's a topic that upsets me and maybe others. You can't suggest that it doesn't or shouldn't because it clearly does.
Also, I have said over and over that those feelings seem to be common amoung users. Not at all abnormal. One of the reasons I suggested it needs its own thread.
Clearly i I have upset you and for that I am sorry.
@flipflopped Ha! I forgot you'd used that phrase at all when I posted, and I agree that is super trivial and don't mind the phrase used in that way. (I was so confused that you commented to me!)
I was really trying to get at the mindset I see a lot of "there are women who can't get pregnant so you shouldn't complain about x, y, or z." Not feeling connected to your growing baby is a thing, even if someone else can't relate to it.
Not so much with not having a BMB.
+1 I wasn't talking about it the way you used it at all @flipflopped - just thinking of the many times others have used it elsewhere in non-productive ways.
I think every parent hates elf on a shelf @ashaw512. I don't do it because DD doesn't know where she is half the time let alone what an elf is but...the idea of having to do something remotely creative every day sounds nauseating.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
No clue if this is an UO or not, just something I have been thinking about with Christmas sneaking up on us. Our kids will not be getting these huge elaborate Christmases. Not when they are young anyways. I saw this thing on Pinterest where you only get them 4 gifts (something you want, something you need, something you wear, something you read). I am sure grandparents and aunts/uncles will spoil with plenty more gifts. I just think especially when kids are young, they need to be taught to be appreciative and that they don't get everything they want just because they want it. Also, Santa will bring ONE gift (an extra 'want' gift).
I hate him too. But my kids love him....so I begrudgingly do it though I do get a lot of enjoyment seeing them so excited about it. We don't do any elaborate scenes or anything, he just simply moves from spot to spot every morning. DH likes to hide him sometimes in harder to spot places, but that's a about it. Even just having to move him at night annoys me lol
I hate him too. But my kids love him....so I begrudgingly do it though I do get a lot of enjoyment seeing them so excited about it. We don't do any elaborate scenes or anything, he just simply moves from spot to spot every morning. DH likes to hide him sometimes in harder to spot places, but that's a about it. Even just having to move him at night annoys me lol
My kids are too young to know about the elf, but I'm dreading when they hear about him from kids at school and ask why the elf isn't in our house. I can think of tons of inappropriate responses to that question, but not many kid-friendly ones.
@cmandzak723 I am glad you posted mostly because I respect when people really do use this thread for true unpopular opinions. Not only does it get people talking but it really does allow us to see something from someone else's perspective even if we don't agree with it. This is exactly what UO is about, generating discussion and thoughts about a controversial or sensitive topic.
As far as the mass exodus that happened in 2014/2015 on the bump that was due to a bunch of rule changes and people getting banned for really bizarre or no good reasons (including board leaders) They had a change in administration and corporate leadership and as such went through and tried to purge the site to gain control and really messed the boards up and anyone that said anything that was mean was banned except for the new admins. It was a bunch of BS, a lot of great people were kicked out. Most people moved to Proboards and a few other forums in protest. I was one of them but since I am only on mobile sites I found those boards hard to navigate and burdensome (lol I know first world problem amirite?). They have lightened up and the boards self regulate like they were meant to do. I always believe it was up to the communities on each board to shape their board.
My UO is when people post an UO or FFFC and it's tame as can be as a humble brag. I remember with my first board the month or so after we had a babies people would "confess" things like they *gasp* didn't change their baby's socks that day (ok the kid isn't walking, they ain't getting dirty) or one where as they were changing their babies diaper he peed and they felt like bad parents because while they completely wiped him down and changed his clothes (even though they didn't get dirty) they felt terrible because they couldn't give him a bath since they'd be late for church. The idea that is "my confession makes me look good" does nothing but make the real struggles we are going through and real confessions harder for most moms. Believe me no one reads that and thinks what a good mom you are it just makes the moms going through real struggles feel even worse.
@Dcwtada Thank you! I thought I may have had the wrong thread or something. I also assumed that this thread was to bring up true unpopular opinions and controversy. lol that's why I posted my opinion on this board! I was so close to saying "forget my true unpopular opinion, nothing upsets me more than leggings"
although i I do appreciate the women who engaged in a true discussion with me. I for one love having these conversations because I often CHANGE MY MIND after hearing other people's stories, experiences, explanations ext. that's what discussions are all about. But my husband and I are atheists who hate politics so we have controversial discussions with family and friends all the time. So it's second nature to me. Sometimes I may get my feelings hurt. But I love having them non the less. As long as everyone is respectful.
i would also like to add that if my opinion upset you, I am really sorry. And I will drop it now and beg your forgiveness. I was just trying to bring up a trigger for me to see if anyone else would chime in. Clearly it didn't go well
@cmandzak723 I laughed aloud at your leggings statement, I'd rather have a true in-depth debate any day over leggings. I agree with everything you said especially about changing your mind, I absolutely love to be challenged on my opinions and if someone changes my mind I am glad for it.
I'm an elf on the shelf hater too! My husband refuses to do it... My oldest DD is almost 6 and this is the first year that she is asking questions, so I'm writing her a letter from an elf tonight that says that she has been such a good girl this year that Santa had to send his elves to other kids' homes!
**** TW - kids and loss mentioned **** ~~ married 8.11.07 ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~ ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~ ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC ~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
I am deeply offended that my hatred of leggings is being marginalized! GBCB!
Hatred of lularoe will unite us all lol I'm seriously surprised it wasn't unpopular. Almost everybody I know irl loves them and swears by them, so now I can rest assured that I've found my true mom-Tribe!
Re: UO Time?
Haha, jk all musical tastes make the world go round
Me: 33 DH: 33
Married: 6.9.12
DS born: 4.9.14
DD born 7.27.17
Me: 33 DH: 33
Married: 6.9.12
DS born: 4.9.14
DD born 7.27.17
Edit bc autocorrect put headache ache and not heart ache.
And I'm not going to flame you but just because you or others may have struggled on any level doesn't mean others feelings aren't valid.
I hate the "first world problems" type of thing. There is always someone somewhere in the world who has it worse. Doesn't mean people can't be upset or struggle with their own issues.
UO - I have never watched a single episode of Gilmore Girls and honestly have no desire too.
This is could all also be pregnancy hormones making me a crybaby about it too. Who knows...
Not trying to call you out @flipflopped!
Nope, sorry, not gonna hide in a corner because my "abnormal" feelings upset you.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
Also never watched/never want to watch Gilmore Girls.
I knew it would be an unpopular opinion but i brought it up anyway. And I would only bring it up in this thread. I wouldn't never (intentionally) try to make someone feel bad in direct response to their post about a mental health issue. Just as we want to be caring and supportive to everyone's concerns and mental/physical health, we also want to be sensitive to trigger topics. And this was one for me. I once made a poll on the glow app about a very sensitive topic and what was interesting was that all the comments were basically berating me for even beinging it up and how terrible I was. But in the poll section, the opinions were about 50/50. So people were getting upset along with me but we're too afraid to speak up. That's the only reason I mentioned it. In case I wasn't the only one feeling this way.
*edited because spelling is hard*
my happy boy
You should also know that this isn't necessarily a 'mental health' issue. Some pregnant women who are depressed have trouble connecting, but many mentally healthy women do too. So lumping it in with mental illness is inaccurate.
I was really trying to get at the mindset I see a lot of "there are women who can't get pregnant so you shouldn't complain about x, y, or z." Not feeling connected to your growing baby is a thing, even if someone else can't relate to it.
Not so much with not having a BMB.
Also, I have said over and over that those feelings seem to be common amoung users. Not at all abnormal. One of the reasons I suggested it needs its own thread.
Clearly i I have upset you and for that I am sorry.
As far as the mass exodus that happened in 2014/2015 on the bump that was due to a bunch of rule changes and people getting banned for really bizarre or no good reasons (including board leaders) They had a change in administration and corporate leadership and as such went through and tried to purge the site to gain control and really messed the boards up and anyone that said anything that was mean was banned except for the new admins. It was a bunch of BS, a lot of great people were kicked out. Most people moved to Proboards and a few other forums in protest. I was one of them but since I am only on mobile sites I found those boards hard to navigate and burdensome (lol I know first world problem
My UO is when people post an UO or FFFC and it's tame as can be as a humble brag. I remember with my first board the month or so after we had a babies people would "confess" things like they *gasp* didn't change their baby's socks that day (ok the kid isn't walking, they ain't getting dirty) or one where as they were changing their babies diaper he peed and they felt like bad parents because while they completely wiped him down and changed his clothes (even though they didn't get dirty) they felt terrible because they couldn't give him a bath since they'd be late for church. The idea that is "my confession makes me look good" does nothing but make the real struggles we are going through and real confessions harder for most moms. Believe me no one reads that and thinks what a good mom you are it just makes the moms going through real struggles feel even worse.
although i I do appreciate the women who engaged in a true discussion with me. I for one love having these conversations because I often CHANGE MY MIND after hearing other people's stories, experiences, explanations ext. that's what discussions are all about. But my husband and I are atheists who hate politics so we have controversial discussions with family and friends all the time. So it's second nature to me. Sometimes I may get my feelings hurt. But I love having them non the less. As long as everyone is respectful.
i would also like to add that if my opinion upset you, I am really sorry. And I will drop it now and beg your forgiveness. I was just trying to bring up a trigger for me to see if anyone else would chime in. Clearly it didn't go well
But I really do hate leggings
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
Hatred of lularoe will unite us all lol I'm seriously surprised it wasn't unpopular. Almost everybody I know irl loves them and swears by them, so now I can rest assured that I've found my true mom-Tribe!