Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
MommaBean
member
Re: The Politics Post
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
I know some of the people here have to be supporting him.. tell me why you think he did a good job, or do you think he did terribly but just support the platform so vote party anyway?
BFP #1 8/4/2015, MMC 9/24/2015
BFP #3 8/24/2017, MC 9/20/2017
BFP #4 11/14/2017, CP
BFP #5 1/5/2018, MC/BO 2/17/2018
BFP #6 7/15/2018, CP
BFP #7 12/15/2018, EDD 8/28/2019
Also on facebook I have my DH's extended family that is very conservative, but they have remained really quite this time on facebook. I know they hate Hillary but I do not know if they are voting for Trump.
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
I watched last night with a group of people from all over the country, all of which claimed to hate both candidates. At the end, they all admitted she crushed him but still hate her/aren't planning to vote/are voting third party. It was enlightening. She's got a tough road. The ingrained hatred is just so strong despite what I see as a very high level of qualification.
https://www.npr.org/2016/09/27/495595122/georgia-voter-reaction-race-and-policing
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
To continue my thought, I understand people not liking her but the outright hatred just blows my mind.
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
To me, Democratic politicians seem overly motivated to throw money at things that I consider out-of-scope. Ask me to donate to charity, don't tell me. Republican politicians seem overly motivated to throw regulation at things I consider out of-scope. I don't care what gender my neighbors are. Chill. So... I can chose a party that over-regulates or overspends. I mean, they both overspend. Republicans budget 300% my preference, and democrats budget 500% my preference.
Caption: Wheeee!!!!
With a Hillary term, I think we'll have 4-8 years of the usual government spending machine.
With a Trump term, I think we'll have 4 years of a government that will fight amongst themselves and won't do much. A stall in government growth might count as a plus.
I'll waste my vote on Gary Johnson, knowing that no matter; we'll end up increasing our federal deficit for another decade while we watch politicians squabble about some social issue that the majority of citizens are basically indifferent about. Maybe by 2028 candidates will be forced to discuss social security and it'll become interesting.
There's a quiz that shows how you match up on issues @ Isidewith.com. It looks at things besides personality and guns if anyone cares.
Married: 10/10
EDD: 8/27/16 MMC 1/16
Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
EDD: 9/6/19
I wish those abstainers would vote 3rd party instead; say SOMETHING with your vote.
Aw, I was hoping we would have some Trump supporters pipe up. I think we could have a rational, respectful conversation.
My aunt is pro-Trump and we have had some respectful text messaging conversations. Though I am starting to worry and think we should stop because I don't want it to affect our relationship.
ETA I have a fear that Trump supporters stay silent even though there has to be a ton of them around. Idk why. But I'm seeing a silent minority/majority thing going on and I honestly can't tell which direction this election will take because of it
I tend to believe 4 (or 8) years of Hilary will be status quo. Nothing will really get better but I don't see it getting worse.
Trump is such a hateful scary person, and what I feel like he would do to this country means I can NOT vote for him. Still I'm having a hard time saying I will vote Hilary. Ive never had a hard time like this.
My dad teaches at a decently ranked business school with lots of fiscal conservative colleagues, and he has been saying from the start that the business community will get behind Hillary over Trump, even those who usually vote Republican. We had quite a few debates about the relative importance of this back when I was supporting Bernie in the primary. I know Trump's platform as stated initially seems more pro-big business but there's a lot of anxiety about the general chaos his election could create in world markets. This opinion is heresy from my dad of course, and I'd love to hear any other thoughts from those who travel in business or economic circles. I'm sure there's a wide spectrum of views within that community.
Separately - I am really disheartened by anyone who is casting a vote for a third party in the presidential race. Why don't the Green Party or the Libertarian Party trot out some candidates for anything other than presidential elections? If you want a movement, you need to build a platform at the local and state levels and then maybe you would have some validity in the elections for higher office. I also think the libertarians are cuckoo, and that is a shame because there are so so many socially liberal but fiscally conservative voters who just don't have a great option in our current system.
Finally - I am also really tired of the comparisons of Hillary and Trump being equally awful. If that is really your opinion then I don't think you have been paying attention. End rant.
I didn't watch the debate last night but I think I heard a recap this morning where they basically started off with saying these are two of the most disliked candidates in history and I think it's really sad that are two options to pick from are ones that so many people dislike on both sides. So picking the lesser of two evils does not seem like a promising start to the next four years but I can't bring myself to vote third party and possibly have that crazy elephant win. We are not the only elephant family that I know who is pro donkey this year, LOL.
Now the little boy across the street told me his parents are voting for The Elephant but it was because he was going to build a wall to keep all the bad guys out. And looking at it that way, I think you have some of the reason why people are still behind Trump despite everything else because they want to think he's going to make things safer.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
I try to avoid posting much myself, but occasionally post an article that I think is either really well written or hilarious.
However, several of you mentioned wanting to hear from someone planning to vote for Trump, so I will join in. Just try not to throw large rocks at me.
First of all, I was genuinely hoping he would not win the primary. I knew if he won, it would be a bigger zoo than usual. I do think some of his major tenets are stupid (A wall? Really?). My method of voting is to go with one or two primary concerns, and pick the candidate who I think is closest to my beliefs on the majority of them.
For me, I care very much about stances on financial policy, abortion, and gun control.
When it comes to the hot button social issues, I am pretty middle of the road usually - I feel that a safety net is important, but most of the candidates don't really campaign on those issues - they try to make big flashy promises that usually don't amount to anything.
My main issue with Hillary is that I feel 4-8 years under her will not benefit this country's financial situation. I want a candidate who at least is going to try to stop the bleeding, and in recent years the democratic party seems to have too many "sacred" things they will not cut in the budget. We cannot ignore our financial issues and hope they go away. Secondarily, she does not support my personal beliefs on abortion or gun control (I know that I'm in the way minority here on these, but that's ok).
If I had to guess why so many are silent on Trump, I can only tell you that personally I'm not thrilled that he is my "conservative" option, I just feel he is the lesser of two evils. So, I'm not shouting his praises from the rooftop.
This tweet sums that up nicely...
That being said i think it's a pretty selfish thing to do to the people who are super effected to vote third party.
Also i probably just messed up affect effect.
Hillary may not benefit us much in 4-8 as she's not a radical departure from politics as usual, but she also won't fast track our demise. I really don't think Trump has a clue what he's talking about or what he's about to get himself into as was evidenced last night by his inability to answer simple questions or maintain composure. And then he turned around and denied saying things he just said on live TV. I just can't even with him.
*please tell me if I sound like an idiot. My doctor gave me some migraine meds with muscle relaxants and codiene so I may just be talking jibberish at this point.
@MissMerciBeaucoup thanks so much for sharing your perspective from your field as well. It is fascinating that many people in the 1% may stand to lose more from Trump's instability than they could gain from his tax cuts.
I will not try to change your mind on your hot-button issues either (although i also wish i could
I will however urge you to consider to not cast a vote for Trump. Most of the work on issues you care about can be handled on a local level with your governor and congressional elected officials.
Trump has so many other potentially damning policies and could potentially be a disaster for this country with foreign relations. The man keeps praising Putin for God's sake.
You can still vote and have a vote that counts and is important to your issues without voting for a President who wants to try and implement something as racist and ridiculous as stop and frisk, building a wall to keep rapist Mexicans out and denying Muslims the right to live in this country.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
I'm reading that you suggest I should vote for a major party because other people will be impacted by the outcome more than I will be, and so I should vote the way I think they would vote, to support them? That seems alien to me, but I suppose that's a normal reasoning for voting left? Sort of like helping people indirectly by focusing the government on them. I'd rather stick with united way and habitat for humanity and such; I know where my resources went, I helped directly, and I'm not dictating to anyone else where their tax money has to go.
Married: 10/10
EDD: 8/27/16 MMC 1/16
Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
EDD: 9/6/19
I can't speak for @PerraSucia but I thing Dan Savage said it rather well, when he was getting flack for backing Bernie and Hillary equally but not mentioning Jill Stein/Gary Johnson.
He said that to effect REAL change, you need to start at the community level. Get Green Party mayors, judges, elected officials in office in municipalities, counties, states, where they can DO stuff. Having a Green Party mayor in a 200K town implementing policies for recycling/renewable energy/whatnot and showing that it works is so much more effective than setting up a candidate every four years who says "I'm not like the others" but who has a very slim chance of going past, say, 5%. And those votes could have been cast to tip the scales for the more realistic presidential candidates.
This is why when I say if you vote third party you are wasting your vote, I am doing with a historical and informative perspective (not just saying it). Other third parties that have come up just take away votes from Dems or Rep and then help the other side to win, sadly that is what has always happened in USA history if the third party did not build up their local base first before trying for the presidential seat.
(sorry you guys got my history/political lesson)
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09