Good luck @fivetimesnoluck and all the best energy for you. Positive thoughts!!!
Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 / BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16 Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky. BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017 DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate. Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017. Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
My temp dropped yesterday and I had O cramping/aching, so we're in the zone. DH was crabby and exhausted tonight, so hopefully the previous two days' worth of BD are enough.
While laying on the couch last week, I spontaneously had the ghost sensations of a baby sleeping on my chest. I felt happy and sad all at the same time. Hoping it's my body's way of telling me this cycle has promise.
My acupuncturist says to visualize all the happy parts of being a mom and being pregnant. I'm trying to stay positive and keep up on my healthy habits as though everything is going to go my way.
Here's to some happy visualizations for everyone, whether you're still in the TWW, recovering from a BFN, and/or deciding what feels right for the next cycle.
11dpo, BFN today. I know it's only my third cycle TTCAL but I can't help wondering what I'm doing wrong or what's wrong with me. It will pass but I'm sad today!
I'm sorry @rainbowturtles it is so hard to let these bad feelings go. I've been there. We have to feel strong and let hope lead us. Hugs!!!
Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 / BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16 Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky. BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017 DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate. Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017. Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
Thank you all. I know you all understand but I still feel bad. And I don't feel like DH quite understands yet, or that a bfn doesn't bother him yet so then I seem to feel more upset and grumpy. I needed to get out of the house, plus we needed groceries, and as I was coming down the hill I saw a family of deer. I watched them pass and then just started crying I really need to stop crying while I'm driving ugh!!!
I'm sorry, @rainbowturtles. You're not alone in feeling like they get harder. But you are strong and you know how to give in to the emotion when need be. I'm one who thinks crying in the car is pretty therapeutic! Hopefully you can enjoy something indulgent this weekend. xo
eta: I know you know this, but for the sake of cutting yourself a little slack- it takes plenty of people more than 3 months. I know it feels like forever. I know the wanting.... But don't beat yourself up. We are here for you.
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Thank you @fivetimesnoluck I know 3 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things but when hormones and emotions are so blindingly high it can feel like ...omg I have to do this again next month and the next and maybe the next and how long will it take and what if there's something wrong and even just the thought of having to buy another month's worth of supplements and trying to time BD properly and hoping DH won't be out of town when I need him and so on....ya my mind can go off a bit lol My emotions are a lot higher this cycle than usual so I guess I was hoping for a better reason for it lol But I'm guessing that incident with my mom/SIL played into it. There were good things about this cycle...I had more CM than ever before and my boobs didn't start hurting until 7dpo this time instead of right after O, so I'm going to try to focus on the positives. Just definitely feeling overcome with emotion today. I have a tendency to not feel good enough and blame myself for things so that can come out during these times and I need to work on that. So much is just out of my control and that's hard to swallow.
Damn it. @AnonymousMom, I'm sorry for your bfn. Hopefully you can do something indulgent tomorrow - boozy brunch, perhaps?! You're in my thoughts. I appreciate the pragmatism. I totally get it.
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Thank you all for being so kind and patient with my meltdown yesterday. I'm a little embarrassed but I'm sure you all can relate. DH is so sweet, I said thank you to him for being patient with my grumpiness and he basically said "that's what I'm here for" I might try to do my nails today as a little something nice for me
Hugs to you @rainbowturtles mani sounds like a relaxing treat for yourself. I should do that too!
Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 / BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16 Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky. BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017 DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate. Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017. Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
Just stopping by over here from benched to give my support - sorry for bfn @rainbowturtles - we've all been there - unfortunately Hope you aren't grumpy too long with such a great dh
Me:35, DH 37 ~ Married July 2014 ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp) bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease) ttcal May 2016
I go here now too! I'm 4 DPO on my first TWW since my loss. My temp did drop to the cover line today. Post ovulation estrogen surge?
We only BD once- but it was a -1, so chances are still ok. I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of neutral on getting a BFP this cycle. I've always gotten pregnant on the first try and I'd love to see if my body is capable of not accepting a bad embryo for once. If I get a BFP, I'm going to be convinced it's another MC.
@soontobemommahowe@chloe97 hi O and now TWW buds! got my CH this am as well after FF was playing games- yesterday I had them but based on my temp today it moved my O date forward so I am now 3 dpo. This is my last TWW before my EDD and I'm surprisingly calm about it. But ask me again in a week and my feelings may change once the BSC has set in
I never got a positive OPK this cycle after starting at CD10, but I got a temp shift on CD18 so I stopped the OPK. Still charting and my temp is elevated, so not sure what's going on, but I hope I just missed it (only testing every 24 hours). I stated over in Sept WTO that we BD'd every other day this cycle so hopefully it happens.
We have officially been TTC for a year in total this week, 5 months since our loss. We only have one more cycle before our previous due date. If we don't get the BFP this cylce, I'm calling my OB to schedule whatever testing we need to move on to the next steps. I'm tired of just trying and hoping for the best. I mean, we're doing a lot more than just having lots of sex but... there has to be some underlying problem here.
I think next cycle I'm just going to concentrate on pampering myself and relaxing and having fun. We have two weddings to go to in this next cycle so some fun is long overdue for DH and I.
Thank you so much @yolandamunoz@KarenBeth714 and ya, the grumpiness kind of melted after he said that lol The tears are another story!
@szwill86 I always think I feel calm early in my TWW too lol We all understand if it changes and fx for you (I'll be in the same boat EDD-wise next cycle)
13dpo and I had an elevated temp today which was just a cruel joke lol Had that surgery today and it indeed was a non-dissolving stitch. If we had known more about my connective tissue disorder back then they likely would have done something different but at least it's gone now. I'm pretty sore so just resting up.
@chloe97 I get what you're saying with being neutral about a bfp. I hope this cycle works out well for you, regardless of test outcome.
@E2theB Best of luck this cycle! The relaxing and pampering sounds like a great idea.
I'm 7dpo and starting to get a bit crazy trying to figure out if I want to test on Friday or just wait for my period next week. I have a wedding I'm going to this weekend that I bought non refundable train tickets for months ago because obviously I was going to be too big and pregnant to want to ride the greyhound. At least it will be a comfy trip
Hey @chloe97 me too-only got one time in this FW to our shitty schedules. 3DPO over here too. Should be in FW next month when we're in New Orleans regrouping.
I'm technically still in the TWW: 4dpo, CD17. But like you, @rainbowturtles, I'm just so emotionally exhausted by the rollercoaster and the prospect of this ride month after month. I might still be too depressed from the Aug 3 MC to be doing this. I'm all over the map, happy one minute, yelling at DH the next, then bawling the next. Despite those positive visualizations, it's hard to imagine my body is an inviting place right now. And if I do get a BFP, I don't know if I can handle another MC right now.
Tonight DH said that he wants to separate. After his last relationship ended, he hasn't been too sure about having kids. When we got the news that my FSH was high and the doc said we needed to try ASAP, he jumped right on board that day. I was impressed and proud of him for rising to the occasion. But I didn't realize that this whole time he still doesn't really want to be doing it.
We have an unusually stressful set of circumstances. I gave up my career, friends, rent controlled Brooklyn apartment+parking spot, geographically-dependant hobbies--everything, really--to follow his career to a tiny remote Canadian town. When we got here, he was deeply depressed and I did all I could to help him get physically and emotionally healthy. We're isolated, he works all the time, and the circumstances just don't allow much opportunity for my strengths and interests, much less a job. All the things we have in common, we have a hard time tapping into here.
After the MC I've been depressed. I'm disappointed that I can't keep my cool, and that my depression and associated anger/outbursts are too much for my husband to deal with. I wish I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did.
We agreed to pause on TTC for the rest of the year, and use the money we were saving up to start a family to instead go on a fun vacation. We'll revisit the possibility of separating after that.
So TWW or not, I think I'm benched for a while, possibly permanently. Will try to hang out here as long as I can, but it might just be too painful. Where do I go from here? Is there a board for people who are going through a separation after TTCAL? Haha
@SFtoBKtoYVR I'm so sorry. MC put so much stress on relationships, I can imagine how hard it's been on you and your H given your other issues. We are all here for you! Please don't feel like you need to go somewhere else to vent your frustrations in light of your Hs desire to separate.
@sktobkyvr I'm really sorry you're on such a rollercoaster right now. MC can do really crazy things to even the best of relationships. Try to hang in there and give your husband time to process everything and yourself too obviously. It's still so fresh and sounds like you're both really struggling with the loss as well as many of factors. I hope you and dh have a great vacation and return clear headed. you're welcome to hang around if you want.
TW*** Child and loss mentioned Married 10/12 DS 11/14 Ectopic 2/16 PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16 IUI x 3- BFN Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos FET- 6/17- BFP! Due Feb 15, 2017
Re: ****september two week wait***
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
Me (39) DH (40)
From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06
DH- no kids
******************
TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN
IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!! 2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days, D&C: 2/17/16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
**10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!!
Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
Good for you girl! I do not have will power like that
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
Married 5/08
BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
TTCAL 3/16
BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
DS #2 born 12/11/17
My temp dropped yesterday and I had O cramping/aching, so we're in the zone. DH was crabby and exhausted tonight, so hopefully the previous two days' worth of BD are enough.
While laying on the couch last week, I spontaneously had the ghost sensations of a baby sleeping on my chest. I felt happy and sad all at the same time. Hoping it's my body's way of telling me this cycle has promise.
My acupuncturist says to visualize all the happy parts of being a mom and being pregnant. I'm trying to stay positive and keep up on my healthy habits as though everything is going to go my way.
Here's to some happy visualizations for everyone, whether you're still in the TWW, recovering from a BFN, and/or deciding what feels right for the next cycle.
BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
Married 5/08
BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
TTCAL 3/16
BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
DS #2 born 12/11/17
Me (39) DH (40)
From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06
DH- no kids
******************
TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN
IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!! 2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days, D&C: 2/17/16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
**10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!!
Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
@fivetimesnoluck I know I am late, but FX for you this cycle!
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
DD Born 06/23/17
TFAS: April 2018
BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
eta: I know you know this, but for the sake of cutting yourself a little slack- it takes plenty of people more than 3 months. I know it feels like forever. I know the wanting.... But don't beat yourself up. We are here for you.
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017
May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714
EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL!
E. L. A. born 12/7/2017
I'm not sure if it is willpower or pragmatism. Anyway, today starts CD1 all over again.
Best wishes to anyone still waiting...I'm hoping BFPs for all!
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017
May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714
EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL!
E. L. A. born 12/7/2017
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
I might try to do my nails today as a little something nice for me
BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp)
bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease)
ttcal May 2016
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
We only BD once- but it was a -1, so chances are still ok. I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of neutral on getting a BFP this cycle. I've always gotten pregnant on the first try and I'd love to see if my body is capable of not accepting a bad embryo for once. If I get a BFP, I'm going to be convinced it's another MC.
Married 5/08
BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
TTCAL 3/16
BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
DS #2 born 12/11/17
We have officially been TTC for a year in total this week, 5 months since our loss. We only have one more cycle before our previous due date. If we don't get the BFP this cylce, I'm calling my OB to schedule whatever testing we need to move on to the next steps. I'm tired of just trying and hoping for the best. I mean, we're doing a lot more than just having lots of sex but... there has to be some underlying problem here.
I think next cycle I'm just going to concentrate on pampering myself and relaxing and having fun. We have two weddings to go to in this next cycle so some fun is long overdue for DH and I.
@szwill86 I always think I feel calm early in my TWW too lol We all understand if it changes and fx for you (I'll be in the same boat EDD-wise next cycle)
13dpo and I had an elevated temp today which was just a cruel joke lol
Had that surgery today and it indeed was a non-dissolving stitch. If we had known more about my connective tissue disorder back then they likely would have done something different but at least it's gone now. I'm pretty sore so just resting up.
Hugs to all
@E2theB Best of luck this cycle! The relaxing and pampering sounds like a great idea.
I'm 7dpo and starting to get a bit crazy trying to figure out if I want to test on Friday or just wait for my period next week. I have a wedding I'm going to this weekend that I bought non refundable train tickets for months ago because obviously I was going to be too big and pregnant to want to ride the greyhound. At least it will be a comfy trip
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
I'm technically still in the TWW: 4dpo, CD17. But like you, @rainbowturtles, I'm just so emotionally exhausted by the rollercoaster and the prospect of this ride month after month. I might still be too depressed from the Aug 3 MC to be doing this. I'm all over the map, happy one minute, yelling at DH the next, then bawling the next. Despite those positive visualizations, it's hard to imagine my body is an inviting place right now. And if I do get a BFP, I don't know if I can handle another MC right now.
Tonight DH said that he wants to separate. After his last relationship ended, he hasn't been too sure about having kids. When we got the news that my FSH was high and the doc said we needed to try ASAP, he jumped right on board that day. I was impressed and proud of him for rising to the occasion. But I didn't realize that this whole time he still doesn't really want to be doing it.
We have an unusually stressful set of circumstances. I gave up my career, friends, rent controlled Brooklyn apartment+parking spot, geographically-dependant hobbies--everything, really--to follow his career to a tiny remote Canadian town. When we got here, he was deeply depressed and I did all I could to help him get physically and emotionally healthy. We're isolated, he works all the time, and the circumstances just don't allow much opportunity for my strengths and interests, much less a job. All the things we have in common, we have a hard time tapping into here.
After the MC I've been depressed. I'm disappointed that I can't keep my cool, and that my depression and associated anger/outbursts are too much for my husband to deal with. I wish I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did.
We agreed to pause on TTC for the rest of the year, and use the money we were saving up to start a family to instead go on a fun vacation. We'll revisit the possibility of separating after that.
So TWW or not, I think I'm benched for a while, possibly permanently. Will try to hang out here as long as I can, but it might just be too painful. Where do I go from here? Is there a board for people who are going through a separation after TTCAL? Haha
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017