@liljabee monitor is really helpful. We have the angel care monitor, the one with the sensor under the mattress that detects movement. I know it works because the alarm has gone off on it twice. Both times, the alarm woke baby enough to make him start breathing again. A few seconds of apnea is pretty common in newborns and not a big deal, but this monitor still caught them. I sleep much better when baby is sleeping on one. We actually bought 2 so we could have one in the crib and one in the bassinet. The one in the crib also has video. If that doesn't help your anxiety, definitely see your doctor. It won't make your worries go away, but they need to be manageable so you can sleep and not get sucked into depression as well.
Man I never thought this would happen to me but I'm having a really hard time with anxiety, since yesterday morning I've had three panic attacks. DH doesn't have the type of job where he can take off a lot of time but I really need him here right now. I also don't think I'm eating or drinking nearly enough, on top of being anemic. Hoping this all goes away soon and I start feeling better mentally and physically.
Man I never thought this would happen to me but I'm having a really hard time with anxiety, since yesterday morning I've had three panic attacks. DH doesn't have the type of job where he can take off a lot of time but I really need him here right now. I also don't think I'm eating or drinking nearly enough, on top of being anemic. Hoping this all goes away soon and I start feeling better mentally and physically.
I'm feeling the same way. I haven't been eating enough calories to keep up with breastfeeding and am dropping weight like crazy. I went back on my anxiety meds and hoping they kick in. Could you look into talking to your OB about your symptoms. My OB is the one who manages my meds.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Man I never thought this would happen to me but I'm having a really hard time with anxiety, since yesterday morning I've had three panic attacks. DH doesn't have the type of job where he can take off a lot of time but I really need him here right now. I also don't think I'm eating or drinking nearly enough, on top of being anemic. Hoping this all goes away soon and I start feeling better mentally and physically.
It happens to the best of us - it's okay to feel what you feel. Even acknowledging this is a huge step. Not many talk about the seriousness of PPA/PPD. There's just so much more to postpartum than what we see and post on social media -- so much hidden behind the cute pics and statuses of our precious babies.
At my PP check up appt, my OBGYN told me that PPA/PPD can come back at any time even if I feel much better now so she told me to call the office right away if I start feeling the blues again.
DS was in the NICU for the first 4 days, he did have some dips in his oxygen in that time. That is part of why I am so anxious. He makes little grunts in his sleep and coughs sometimes so i get anxioys hearing it. I have thought about moving him to his crib instead of the bassinet, but then I think about the way that rooming in reduces SIDS and could that be because you are hyperaware of baby's breathing, so moving him could increase risk (if there were an olympic event in worrying, I'd be training for gold). I know I am not being wholly rational, but it us also s very rational irrationality. Too much reading perhaps.
I have looked at the monitors but the NICU doctor was very negative about them. He said they aren't supported by any scientific literature and may actually increase dangers because parents become reliant on the monitor. He also said they are prone to false alarms which parents eventually learn to ignore. He basically said their main function was to reassure parents, but perhaps that is worth it.
One of the symptoms I haven't had that is pretty common is crying a lot...until today. I think I've cried about 5 times. I can't wait to talk to my OB Monday about PPD/PPA and hopefully get this taken care of. I just want to feel like myself again
One of the symptoms I haven't had that is pretty common is crying a lot...until today. I think I've cried about 5 times. I can't wait to talk to my OB Monday about PPD/PPA and hopefully get this taken care of. I just want to feel like myself again
I'm with you. My goal is to cry less times in a day than Aria. I think adjusting to being a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I think it's good to talk to your OB about PPD. Hoping you get some relief soon mama. Hang in there, you aren't alone in feeling this way.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
One of my best friends from college lives in another state. She is currently visiting and it has been the best for me to work on my baby blues and crying. Just having an adult to talk to in person has been great!!
DH and I got to go on out 1st post baby date tonight. I must admit, I was nervous getting ready. It felt like it did when we were dating. It was very needed and even though I missed DS,
p.s. I'm a light weight now. 1.5 glasses of wine and I'm pretty tipsy.
34 Mother of 4 year old and 2 Labs. Happily Married to my Hubs of 6 years.
@midwestbaby This is definitely the hardest thing I've had to go through. I knew about PPD but never imagined I would go through it myself. It's nice knowing I'm not alone in feeling like this.
I worry most about my mental state when husband goes back to work full time. We've been lucky that he's had 2 weeks off full time and two weeks of half days, but I am thinking the 2 months after that when I'm home with baby all day before going back to work is going to be hard. I love this kid but am in no way cut out to be a stay at home mom!!
We have slowly had a few visitors here and there. And I am to the point where I am done having them completely. Aria doesn't like being held a ton (she's easily disturbed while sleeping and fusses), and I know that's what people want to do when they visit. Plus I hate writing fricken thank you cards for stuff people bring. I know that probably sounds ungrateful, but I'm 19 days into being a new mom with a case of postpartum depression.
After the 5th text in the last two days of people asking to visit her, I officially put up a Facebook status saying we aren't taking visitors for a while anymore. That we need time to adjust as new parents, and when I am feeling more confident in that, we will take visitors again. I also said I had no idea when that would be. I hope that people get that I am not trying to keep her from them, I'm just at the end of my mental rope of sanity. I cry a lot, and I don't need people over at my house seeing me in this state.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@midwestbaby - We have a no waking a sleeping baby, unless it's time for them to eat, policy over here. My parents aren't fond of it, but my kids, and my job to get up in the middle of the night, and my rules!
@midwestbaby Good for you. You need to do what's best for you and your family right now. DH has been wanting us to go out and do something or go visit his parents but I don't want to in fear I'll start crying or start to feel sick or have a panic attack. I'm barely eating right now and can hardly get off the couch so there's no way I would be able to go out for a few hours. It's tough but we just have to keep telling ourselves this will pass and things will get better. Hang in there girl.
@midwestbaby and @BrunetteBabe722 hang in there girls! I hope PPD/POA passes soon for you! I agree if visitors are stressing you out you have every right to shut that ish down! I would say if you have one person aside from DH that you are close with that you know will respect your boundaries (ie-letting baby sleep when he/she is sleeping and not picking them up etc) I would try and let them visit. I think it's good to have someone to vent to/talk to/cry to that isn't DH. It might be good for your Psyche. If all else fails or everyone is driving you crazy y'all have use here on TB! ::Hugs::
Honestly TB has helped so much with keeping my sanity and knowing I'm not alone in any of this. Also, DH and my mom have been my rocks throughout all of this and have been SO supportive and SO helpful. If it weren't for them, I don't think I could do it. I'm so thankful for them and everything they do. I can't wait to start medication and getting back to my old self and feeling better.
My 2 yo continues to push his limits with me and has resorted to hitting or biting me when he's angry that I've told him not to do something (such as bringing him back inside after he wanders on to the front porch by himself while I'm in the midst of nursing LO). I'm totally struggling with him and this has been my absolute biggest mental struggle PP.
Tonight though, I heard him yelling from his room about 45 min after going to bed. I go to check on him and he had apparently been trying to put socks on and was struggling so he asked for my help. After helping, he laid right back down. I told him I loved him as I had my hand on his chest - he took my hand into his and kissed it. My heart melted. It felt like a mom win, so I had to share with someone.
TTC 9/2013
BFP#1: 9/28/2013, EDD 5/28/13, MC confirmed 10/15/13, D&C 10/17/13
Hi- I just joined TB. I feel exactly the same way as you @midwestbaby !! I'm so over visitors and also that nobody is helping, just wanting to hold DS and visit while they suck up potential nap time from him and me!
My 2 yo continues to push his limits with me and has resorted to hitting or biting me when he's angry that I've told him not to do something (such as bringing him back inside after he wanders on to the front porch by himself while I'm in the midst of nursing LO). I'm totally struggling with him and this has been my absolute biggest mental struggle PP.
Tonight though, I heard him yelling from his room about 45 min after going to bed. I go to check on him and he had apparently been trying to put socks on and was struggling so he asked for my help. After helping, he laid right back down. I told him I loved him as I had my hand on his chest - he took my hand into his and kissed it. My heart melted. It felt like a mom win, so I had to share with someone.
I just teared up reading this! So sweet! Those are the moments that remind us why we're doing this
I passed out backwards, luckily on a pile of pillows. Awoke to DH cautiously grabbing peanut from me. 45 min later and he's back awake. Deja vu to the cluster feedings all night.
I'm starting to attempt to feel better about things. Today I had a day to myself, my mother watched LO and I went shopping along with a mini spa day. It felt so good to get out of the house and relax for a while. Motherhood is a bigger adjustments then I ever imagined
I feel like I've been keeping it together for the past 2 weeks and things are going to fall apart next week when DH goes back to work. He's been super stressed dealing with DD1 (she's a super active 22 mo old) and I know I need to stay strong for both of us right now. I've been taking on probably more than I should while recovering because he was straight losing it the first week and a half. I haven't spent much time with both DD1 and DD2 so I'm terrified of what to expect when I'm fully on my own.
In addition to just adjusting to our new family of four, my crazy mom decided she wants back into our lives (mainly because she has a major FOMO and wants to show all her friends she is the best grandma ever... which she is not). We haven't spoken since April and although she was aware of our RCS date and time, we did not send her any type of formal announcement as I don't have a relationship with her. She sent me an email 4 days PP telling me how I humiliated her by not sending photos/announcement, and got into a text argument with my husband. Then she sent a couple gifts and a card in the mail. The mind games are too much. I spent my last tri in tears almost every day because of this woman but haven't cried since the baby was born. I can tell I'm barely holding it together but keep pushing it aside because I just don't want to deal with the drama right now. I'm just trying to figure out how to be a good mom to my 2 young kids.
I know it isn't healthy to just ignore all these issues that are making me anxious but I don't know what else to do. It's overwhelming.
@justaudrey I'm sorry you're going through that with your mom! Try not to push all those feelings aside for too long, post partum hormones are a force to be reckoned with and even though it sucks I've found that if I just roll with them and let it out, cry when I need too or be mad for a few hours, it helps a ton.
I was scared to death for DH to go back to work but it was actually really good because it helped DD get back on her schedule which helped with her acting out. She's also 22 months and extremely strong willed and independent. You got this mama!
I had a little breakdown last night while getting ready for bed. I was thinking back to the first few days after having LO. DH and I were solely focused on each other and Ella. We were really in sync and encouraging each other, idk we were in the honeymoon bubble of becoming parents I guess. Things are going well but I can see life just creeping back in over the past couple of weeks. I'm tired from being up throughout the night nursing and then home alone all say. DH gets home and I'm irritable and short sometimes with him. He gets home from working all day and has stuff to do around the house when all I want is for him to spend time with DD and I/give me a break to be me for an hour. I just miss the honeymoon phase.
@justaudrey I felt the same way about DH going back to work. I had completely held it together for the three weeks he was home and then that emotional roller coaster hit me yesterday (my first day by myself with both kids). I know I'll get into a groove eventually, but the reality of having two kids hit me hard yesterday. Good luck to you, hopefully we'll both settle into this new normal soon!
@jkershaw2013 - I've said for years that having a a baby is one of the worst things for a marriage. But it does get better as they get older! And you guys will find a better routine. After you put the baby to bed do you take some time just the two of you? DH and I do that, even if it's just half an hour to sit and watch tv together or something.
Also, you mention being home alone all day. As the baby gets older and you venture out that will get better, too. For now, do you have any friends you can invite over? I know how lonely it can be when you're just home with the baby.
@justaudrey Oh honey, I'm so sorry! I totally feel for everything you just wrote. I have a mother who makes it all about themselves as well. And while she and I did have a speaking relationship through my pregnancy it was not always a pleasant one, and it is most definitely almost always a mind game. I will say week 3 PP gets so much better with the hormones. So while I know you are exhausted and nervous for DH to go back know that somehow emotionally you are going to get better next week some. I say good on ya for not sending any type of announcement lol I wouldn't have been tough enough to hold out - I'm such a wimp. But I wouldn't feel guilty about it, she should have been texting or calling days before the baby was born! FWIW I may be speaking to my insanely selfish mother but our second night we stayed at the hospital she offered my husband to let my DD stay with us and for them to go home to get some routine back in her life. (She had stayed the night before with his parents) Because she seemed like she needed her routine, I guess my mom just didn't want to babysit. So we kept her and just sent her to his parents for the night again. And then the night we were discharged from the hospital she texted me and asked if we were coming over... For dinner..... No. So anyway, I can kind of relate and just know you aren't the alone in a sense. My daughter is almost 3 and I felt like I hardly spent any time with her up until about 4 weeks pp. It gets better! Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you! Sending you strong, happy, positive momma vibes. You got this. Heck, you're already doing a better job than my mom and yours!
I had a little breakdown last night while getting ready for bed. I was thinking back to the first few days after having LO. DH and I were solely focused on each other and Ella. We were really in sync and encouraging each other, idk we were in the honeymoon bubble of becoming parents I guess. Things are going well but I can see life just creeping back in over the past couple of weeks. I'm tired from being up throughout the night nursing and then home alone all say. DH gets home and I'm irritable and short sometimes with him. He gets home from working all day and has stuff to do around the house when all I want is for him to spend time with DD and I/give me a break to be me for an hour. I just miss the honeymoon phase.
So, I promise you it gets better as they get older! But I just thought I'd share because I feel like it will help put things in perspective. About 2 weeks pp (this is our second) we got DD tucked in and I had literally just nursed DS up until the moment I laid him down into his bassinet, wrapped him up really tight and tiptoed over to the bed. DH was laying in bed already and I was whispering to him. I was saying how it's really no surprise to me how marriages get lonely and how couples drift apart. All while for the first time in like three days we are laying next to each other with lights off, he's actually holding me and I'm saying you know it's so lonely we've both been so busy I'm so exhausted. He agreed and said never us. I kid you not even a minute later DS had en explosive poop right next to us in his bassinet. The timing couldn't have been more dead on. I totally whined the entire time getting out of bed because I knew it wouldn't just be a diaper change, he was going to want to nurse too. It does get better in time. Y'all will hit a groove and it will become so natural. Right now everything is new and exhausting. But exhausting becomes the new norm until the baby sleeps through the night and then you forget what it even felt like. Just hang in there! It gets better.
@jkershaw2013 I agree with PP's, it gets better!! Once we got DS1 onto a schedule where he went down at 7/7:30 (2 months old - ish), I felt like I got my marriage back. We would sit down and have dinner together and get to talk, watch tv together, etc. Of course, we're back to square one with this LO, but we keep reminding eachother that this time will pass, and we'll get to come together again soon. My best advice is to not read too much into what's happening in your marriage right now. You're both exhausted and stressed, this is not at all a predictor of how it will be. This is the hardest time on marriages, in my opinion, so cut yourselves some slack and know it won't be this way forever!
@jkershaw2013 we are almost 6 weeks pp and I understand 100% how you feel.
I can tell you that one thing that has helped us stay in sync is DH calls on his lunch break every day. Usually DS is sleeping and we get 5 or 10 minutes to just chat about our days at that point. It's a quick conversation but it's just a nice reminder that we are in this together.
This is us a hard time and thankfully we have this amazing group/forum that personally helps me every day. Just knowing that other people are going thru the same thing and have gone thru it and survived helps.
Now off to change for the 2nd time today. DS may have slept great last night, but he's blown out a diaper on me and now spit up almost a whole bottle on me all before 10 am
34 Mother of 4 year old and 2 Labs. Happily Married to my Hubs of 6 years.
@jkershaw2013 I'm glad that you brought this up. I've put so much of my attention into the baby that I've hardly paid any attention to my husband. Just reading your post and other responses has made me realize that I should probably reach out to him more.
I've been sleeping in a bed in the nursery while DH sleeps in our bedroom so that he can get some sleep since the baby was born. I'm hoping that the feedings will space out enough that we can sleep in the same bed again soon, but he has to sleep so that he's sharp for classes every day... so that might be a while yet for us.
Either way, thanks for the reminder to pay a little more attention to the marriage and not just the baby.
Thanks for the support guys! And I look forward to being on a schedule with LO! I just think back to that article that someone posted a few weeks ago, I can't remember who I'm sorry! I'm so thankful to have the people on this forum to talk to! I ran out to DSW to return a pair of shoes I bought that don't fit (I'm in denial that my feet have grown ) and thankfully I have friends and family that are close that can stop by! DH and I are going to have a date night this weekend and I can't wait! My MIL offered to babysit on Fridays so we can have time just the two of us, even if it's just to get ice cream or something! Hang in there everyone! And thanks again for reassuring me!
@jkershaw2013 date night does wonders for a marriage when you have kids! Dh and I are always much happier after a date night, it's a reminder of who we are when we're not just mom and dad. We desperately need that right now. The 5 weeks since baby has been born have been hard on us. Between his job and 3 kids, it's been stressful and we've paid little attention to each other. We're getting a few hours out tonight and I'm hoping we will both feel better when we get home.
@jkershaw2013 I'm glad that you brought this up. I've put so much of my attention into the baby that I've hardly paid any attention to my husband. Just reading your post and other responses has made me realize that I should probably reach out to him more.
I've been sleeping in a bed in the nursery while DH sleeps in our bedroom so that he can get some sleep since the baby was born. I'm hoping that the feedings will space out enough that we can sleep in the same bed again soon, but he has to sleep so that he's sharp for classes every day... so that might be a while yet for us.
Either way, thanks for the reminder to pay a little more attention to the marriage and not just the baby.
We're taking shifts--I try to go to bed at 8 pm but wake up to pump, and handle the 3 am feed. Husband is up until 11 or 12 and mans the witching hour. I so miss hanging out with him, and him being back at work won't help that. I'm counting down until baby stops waking in the middle of the night and we can count on atleast 7-8 hours of a stretch so I can not be an old lady going to bed at 8 pm!!
@Lynnlove28@Bookhousegirl I'm cautiously optimistic about being alone with the girls. It's my birthday today so I ventured out alone to get my hair done (I feel like a new woman now) leaving DH alone with both kids. He really struggled with putting DD1 down and feeding DD2. I am really hoping when he goes back to work DD1 snaps back into her normal routine with me and life will balance out.
@jacmkelley yeah the selfishness is no fun. I know I'm going to have to address things before DH goes back to work because being alone makes me crazy thinking about how to handle it. I found out today she was talking a bunch of crap about me to family so that adds another layer of stuff to resolve. ::Heavy sigh:: I just want to be myself again without all this drama hanging over my head.
@jkershaw2013 it sounds so silly but my husband and I just hugged (how G-rated) for like 5 minutes yesterday with the kids screaming in the background and it was the most comforting thing ever. We didn't say anything. Just held each other and semi-blocked everything out for a moment. Sometimes you just need to laugh/cry/scream into pillows together to get all the stress out! We always have to remind each other we are in this together. Getting on the same page is the only way we survive every day, especially in the beginning exhausted newborn stage!
@jkershaw2013 I feel the same way about time with baby and hubs! Little one is three weeks old today, hubs was able to take only a week off and last week my mom was with me everyday. I wish my son and husband could spend more time together but hes had a lot to do after work too and I get grumpy when he doesn't interact much with baby. It's been nice but also lonely to be on my own this week. At the same time I'm really sick of visitors, we've had so many and it cuts out precious time with us as a little family. it was nice to have my mom around to let me nap and help clean my house last week and I'm missing that. I'm hoping were at the tail end of family meeting baby, it gives me anxiety thinking about people being over when I need to focus on breastfeeding. My family is not super with respecting my visit boundaries which has been difficult. I'm hoping this weekend we can go on a walk or out to eat with little one and just have some time together.
Re: Postpartum Mental Health Check In
@BrunetteBabe722
It will get better, I promise.
Hugs
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
We are here for you @BrunetteBabe722 but I second @midwestbaby & suggest talking to your OB.
At my PP check up appt, my OBGYN told me that PPA/PPD can come back at any time even if I feel much better now so she told me to call the office right away if I start feeling the blues again.
I have looked at the monitors but the NICU doctor was very negative about them. He said they aren't supported by any scientific literature and may actually increase dangers because parents become reliant on the monitor. He also said they are prone to false alarms which parents eventually learn to ignore. He basically said their main function was to reassure parents, but perhaps that is worth it.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
DH and I got to go on out 1st post baby date tonight. I must admit, I was nervous getting ready. It felt like it did when we were dating. It was very needed and even though I missed DS,
p.s. I'm a light weight now. 1.5 glasses of wine and I'm pretty tipsy.
After the 5th text in the last two days of people asking to visit her, I officially put up a Facebook status saying we aren't taking visitors for a while anymore. That we need time to adjust as new parents, and when I am feeling more confident in that, we will take visitors again. I also said I had no idea when that would be. I hope that people get that I am not trying to keep her from them, I'm just at the end of my mental rope of sanity. I cry a lot, and I don't need people over at my house seeing me in this state.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Tonight though, I heard him yelling from his room about 45 min after going to bed. I go to check on him and he had apparently been trying to put socks on and was struggling so he asked for my help. After helping, he laid right back down. I told him I loved him as I had my hand on his chest - he took my hand into his and kissed it. My heart melted. It felt like a mom win, so I had to share with someone.
TTC 9/2013
BFP#1: 9/28/2013, EDD 5/28/13, MC confirmed 10/15/13, D&C 10/17/13
BFP#2: 1/10/2014, EDD 9/19/2014
TTC 9/2013
BFP#1: 9/28/2013, EDD 5/28/13, MC confirmed 10/15/13, D&C 10/17/13
BFP#2: 1/10/2014, EDD 9/19/2014
You got this @kriley602774 & @tisunge602. One feed at a time.
TTC 9/2013
BFP#1: 9/28/2013, EDD 5/28/13, MC confirmed 10/15/13, D&C 10/17/13
BFP#2: 1/10/2014, EDD 9/19/2014
Motherhood is a bigger adjustments then I ever imagined
In addition to just adjusting to our new family of four, my crazy mom decided she wants back into our lives (mainly because she has a major FOMO and wants to show all her friends she is the best grandma ever... which she is not). We haven't spoken since April and although she was aware of our RCS date and time, we did not send her any type of formal announcement as I don't have a relationship with her. She sent me an email 4 days PP telling me how I humiliated her by not sending photos/announcement, and got into a text argument with my husband. Then she sent a couple gifts and a card in the mail. The mind games are too much. I spent my last tri in tears almost every day because of this woman but haven't cried since the baby was born. I can tell I'm barely holding it together but keep pushing it aside because I just don't want to deal with the drama right now. I'm just trying to figure out how to be a good mom to my 2 young kids.
I know it isn't healthy to just ignore all these issues that are making me anxious but I don't know what else to do. It's overwhelming.
Baby #2: Emmeline Grey - August 2016
Baby #3: BFP 9/7/18 | EDD 05/24/19
I was scared to death for DH to go back to work but it was actually really good because it helped DD get back on her schedule which helped with her acting out. She's also 22 months and extremely strong willed and independent. You got this mama!
Also, you mention being home alone all day. As the baby gets older and you venture out that will get better, too. For now, do you have any friends you can invite over? I know how lonely it can be when you're just home with the baby.
I will say week 3 PP gets so much better with the hormones. So while I know you are exhausted and nervous for DH to go back know that somehow emotionally you are going to get better next week some. I say good on ya for not sending any type of announcement lol I wouldn't have been tough enough to hold out - I'm such a wimp. But I wouldn't feel guilty about it, she should have been texting or calling days before the baby was born! FWIW I may be speaking to my insanely selfish mother but our second night we stayed at the hospital she offered my husband to let my DD stay with us and for them to go home to get some routine back in her life. (She had stayed the night before with his parents) Because she seemed like she needed her routine, I guess my mom just didn't want to babysit. So we kept her and just sent her to his parents for the night again. And then the night we were discharged from the hospital she texted me and asked if we were coming over... For dinner..... No.
So anyway, I can kind of relate and just know you aren't the alone in a sense. My daughter is almost 3 and I felt like I hardly spent any time with her up until about 4 weeks pp. It gets better! Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you! Sending you strong, happy, positive momma vibes. You got this. Heck, you're already doing a better job than my mom and yours!
It does get better in time. Y'all will hit a groove and it will become so natural. Right now everything is new and exhausting. But exhausting becomes the new norm until the baby sleeps through the night and then you forget what it even felt like. Just hang in there! It gets better.
I can tell you that one thing that has helped us stay in sync is DH calls on his lunch break every day. Usually DS is sleeping and we get 5 or 10 minutes to just chat about our days at that point. It's a quick conversation but it's just a nice reminder that we are in this together.
This is us a hard time and thankfully we have this amazing group/forum that personally helps me every day. Just knowing that other people are going thru the same thing and have gone thru it and survived helps.
Now off to change for the 2nd time today. DS may have slept great last night, but he's blown out a diaper on me and now spit up almost a whole bottle on me all before 10 am
I've been sleeping in a bed in the nursery while DH sleeps in our bedroom so that he can get some sleep since the baby was born. I'm hoping that the feedings will space out enough that we can sleep in the same bed again soon, but he has to sleep so that he's sharp for classes every day... so that might be a while yet for us.
Either way, thanks for the reminder to pay a little more attention to the marriage and not just the baby.
@jacmkelley yeah the selfishness is no fun. I know I'm going to have to address things before DH goes back to work because being alone makes me crazy thinking about how to handle it. I found out today she was talking a bunch of crap about me to family so that adds another layer of stuff to resolve. ::Heavy sigh:: I just want to be myself again without all this drama hanging over my head.
@jkershaw2013 it sounds so silly but my husband and I just hugged (how G-rated) for like 5 minutes yesterday with the kids screaming in the background and it was the most comforting thing ever. We didn't say anything. Just held each other and semi-blocked everything out for a moment. Sometimes you just need to laugh/cry/scream into pillows together to get all the stress out! We always have to remind each other we are in this together. Getting on the same page is the only way we survive every day, especially in the beginning exhausted newborn stage!
Baby #2: Emmeline Grey - August 2016
Baby #3: BFP 9/7/18 | EDD 05/24/19